Girl Scout cookie sales start on the 16th!/Oprah and Tyra's final season!

[autumnpalm]

I cannot sleep!!!

I have taken my pasty self to Miami Beach twice. Well, the first time my parents took me. I was 14. The first night there, our waiter at the hotel who was about 30 hit on me and my parents made me wear pants for the rest of the vacation. I think I lost about 7 pounds of water weight from the sweating.

 

[PebblesMK]

I think Tink Lover is just a bad parent. How could anyone call their child a demon? Son of Satan, Beelzebub maybe - but demon.

No, you pretty much have to be of South American descent, and have something on your body that is silicone to be accepted at that beach. They have tourist beaches for pasty white people from Wisconsin elsewhere.

I'll pass on the beach. I can't stand the way that sand feels, I have no desire to be eaten by a shark in water with waaaay too high a salt content for my liking, and I'll get burnt!

Are there any indoor places with air conditioning where I'm safe from "nature"? Maybe a buffet so I don't feel so bad about being pudgy and not supermodel hot.

 

[PebblesMK]

I cannot sleep!!!

I have taken my pasty self to Miami Beach twice. Well, the first time my parents took me. I was 14. The first night there, our waiter at the hotel who was about 30 hit on me and my parents made me wear pants for the rest of the vacation. I think I lost about 7 pounds of water weight from the sweating.

Have you tried sleeping? I find that I can't sleep because I don't close my eyes. If I were to perform that small act, I'd be out. But as it is, I am usually up until 3 or so and then I wake up by 5.

I've only been to the beach twice. Maybe thrice. The one time I remember, I was knocked up and the backs of my knees got 2nd degree sunburn. Also, we ate at some restaurant and my friends mom was not pleased with the service and the drunks next to us who spilled beer on her leather jacket; she told us we were dining and ditching. My fat belly had literally grown overnight (still wasn't huge, but bigger than I had been), and I'm trying to run along the beach and just felt like I was waddling slowly. How horrible!

 

[Wall-E1]

I'll pass on the beach. I can't stand the way that sand feels, I have no desire to be eaten by a shark in water with waaaay too high a salt content for my liking, and I'll get burnt!

Are there any indoor places with air conditioning where I'm safe from "nature"? Maybe a buffet so I don't feel so bad about being pudgy and not supermodel hot.

I love the water and snorkeling. In fact I take my son with me and we often encounter nurse sharks and barracuda(more bad parenting). Don't even ask about the danger I subject him to in the Everglades - alligators, rattlesnakes, etc.

We have an awesome buffet down here called Hometown Buffet. Everything, and I mean everything, is cooked in butter. It's heaven.

 

[PebblesMK]

I love the water and snorkeling. In fact I take my son with me and we often encounter nurse sharks and barracuda(more bad parenting). Don't even ask about the danger I subject him to in the Everglades - alligators, rattlesnakes, etc.

We have an awesome buffet down here called Hometown Buffet. Everything, and I mean everything, is cooked in butter. It's heaven.

Hahaha! The four condiments that I can't stand are : Butter, Salt, Pepper and Mayo. I think that buffet would be out. I get excited for the salad bar and the dessert bar!

 

[Wall-E1]

Hahaha! The four condiments that I can't stand are : Butter, Salt, Pepper and Mayo. I think that buffet would be out. I get excited for the salad bar and the dessert bar!

What?!?!?!? You are not truly living if you exclude those four basic food groups from your diet.

 

[autumnpalm]

Have you tried sleeping? I find that I can't sleep because I don't close my eyes. If I were to perform that small act, I'd be out. But as it is, I am usually up until 3 or so and then I wake up by 5.

Closing my eyes? But then I would just be lying here in the dark doing nothing!

I don't like salt or mayo!

Once in my dorms, my roommate lost a bet and had to eat an entire jar of mayo in one sitting.

I have never eaten the stuff since.

 

[Wall-E1]

Closing my eyes? But then I would just be lying here in the dark doing nothing!

I don't like salt or mayo!

Once in my dorms, my roommate lost a bet and had to eat an entire jar of mayo in one sitting.

I have never eaten the stuff since.

Was your roommate able to hold it down?

 

[autumnpalm]

Was your roommate able to hold it down?

Not even a little.

 

[WDWKOOK]

All I can offer at this point is (and in no particular order):

Try a spray-on tan

Go to the beach in Boca instead (NO nudity-mercifully)

Only consume jars of LIGHT or FAT FREE mayo in one sitting

Salt and pepper are condiments? (They must be because Wikipedia sez there is "some overlap between condiments and seasonings".)

 

[Wall-E1]

All I can offer at this point is (and in no particular order):

Try a spray-on tan

Go to the beach in Boca instead (NO nudity-mercifully)

Only consume jars of LIGHT or FAT FREE mayo in one sitting

Salt and pepper are condiments? (They must be because Wikipedia sez there is "some overlap between condiments and seasonings".)

Heading a little bit north will take you to Delray Beach, the home of the leatherbacks(not the turtles, but the snowbirds that come down and sunbathe until their old skin is the same consistency as leather).

 

[dbogen]

Good morning all,

I see I missed quite a bit last night. I can't believe you all talked about your nood experiences and I wasn't here to imagine it.

My little snowflakes have a 90min school delay so this throws my whole morning off.

Wall-E1 how is little snowflake doing? Did he make angels with you? I hope his grafting is healing well.

 

[Wall-E1]

Good morning all,

I see I missed quite a bit last night. I can't believe you all talked about your nood experiences and I wasn't here to imagine it.

My little snowflakes have a 90min school delay so this throws my whole morning off.

Wall-E1 how is little snowflake doing? Did he make angels with you? I hope his grafting is healing well.

He's doing as well as can be expected. Thank you for asking. The grafting is healing so well that you can not even tell that he ever had a plumber's crack. That is my concern. Somehow today, I must figure out a way to part the cheeks.

 

[PebblesMK]

Morning all!

 

[can84]

Happy Monday!

He's doing as well as can be expected. Thank you for asking. The grafting is healing so well that you can not even tell that he ever had a plumber's crack. That is my concern. Somehow today, I must figure out a way to part the cheeks.

I'm glad to hear he's doing better! You're a smart guy, I'm sure you'll think of something. "To Part the Cheeks" sounds like an epic movie or a Shakespeare sonnet.

 

[PolynesianLily]

Good Morning!

The sky is blue in Canada today?! Is this perhaps even possible?

 

[Wall-E1]

Good Morning!

The sky is blue in Canada today?! Is this perhaps even possible?

Anything is possible, ay!

 

[PebblesMK]

Happy Monday!



I'm glad to hear he's doing better! You're a smart guy, I'm sure you'll think of something. "To Part the Cheeks" sounds like an epic movie or a Shakespeare sonnet.

Didn't you know that "To part the cheeks", is one of Shakespeare's most famous, little known pieces of literature? I saw one guy on Antique Roadshow who had a copy of that and it was worth 83 million dollars. I guess it's the only known copy???

 

[dbogen]

On a positive note, grafting over the top part of the plumbers crack means he can wear his pants lower than the other kids in his school. It just gives the illusion they are higher up on the hips.

 

[PebblesMK]

On a positive note, grafting over the top part of the plumbers crack means he can wear his pants lower than the other kids in his school. It just gives the illusion they are higher up on the hips.

Oh so true. I better get a crack graft. My jeans often show where the good Lord split me.