Gift $$ to nieces/nephew for trip?

[princesspumpkin]

A large part of my famiily will be vacationing together soon. My nieces and nephew will not have a lot of spending money, so I would like to provide them with some. My dilemma is how much to allot. The problem is that one niece performed very badly on her report card. She was doing poorly throughout the year, and ended up with even worse grades at the year's end. It was uncertain whether she would go on the trip, but it was decided that she could come. My other niece and nephew maintained or improved their grades. While I will be giving all of them spending $$, I am somewhat torn on whether I should give them an equal amount. Giving this $$ is in part a sort of reward to them (from me) for a job well done in school. I don't want my one niece to get the impression that poor/worsening grades get rewarded (especially since she already gets to go on the trip). Should I give them equal amounts, or maybe a certain amount for each A, B, etc.? Thanks for not flaming

 

[AprilShowers]

Since you plan to give all the children money, I wouldn't tie it to their grades. If it were something you could do privately without the others knowing, it would be different. But they will be on vacation together and believe me they will tell the other one that they got more!!

What I would do is give them all the same amount and tell them it's because they are wonderful people you love them very much, and you want them to have fun at WDW.

Then later, I would reward the good students with a lunch out or a gift totally unrelated to the vacation.

 

[agnes!]

You could give them equal amounts of cash if they're old enough to handle it & also give the kids who had a good report card a Disney gift card separately, or even put different amounts on each kids' gift card...if you could keep them distinct...oh DEAR, it is a lot of work when you try to do the right yet generous thing, isn't it?
I also like the idea of doing something later with the kids who got good grades.

Oh, just remembered something else...there used to be some rack pins(meaning they're not limited edition or special event, you should be able to get them at World of Disney, the DTD Pin Store, Pin Central at Epcot, etc.) that had things on them like "Best reader", etc, that would be appropriate as a schoolwork "award". I think one of the characters was Pooh. Did the nice with the bad grades do well in *any* subject? Maybe you could get her a pin for that...

agnes!

 

[NMAmy]

If it were me, I'd give them each the same amount for their trip and then perhaps do something else for the good students at a later time.

Actually, if it were REALLY me, it wouldn't matter at all. My niece and nephew have always gotten the same amount of money or gifts from me regardless of grades or behavior or whatever. Since I'm not their parent, I don't reward them for that kind of stuff--I just reward them for being lucky enough to be related to me.

DD, on the other hand, does have rewards linked to her grades but she gets a book for each good grade she gets.

 

[HeatherinNC]

I agree with NMAmy. You aren't the parent, it's not your responsibility to reward based on grades. Give each an equal amount and continue to be the cool aunt!

 

[Ranatra]

If you want to give them money for their vacation, then give them money for their vacation and leave it at that.
And, I just have to say,What a nice aunt you are!

 

[Sleepy]

All kids deserve to feel special and equal on vacation.

 

[princesspumpkin]

Thank you all very much for the kind advice. I suppose that I was struggling with this because my sister was struggling with this as well. Since she didn't want it to seem like she was rewarding my one niece who did poorly, I didn't want to seem like that either. But I totally understand everyone's comments and will take them to heart.

 

[mickeyboat]

I agree with everyone else. Let it be her mom's job to reward/punish for grades however she chooses. Be the cool aunt!

Denae

 

[lulugirl]

I agree w/ the other posters, give them equal amounts.

 

[Missy1961]

I think it's wonderful that you are so thoughtful to give them money to spend on vacation. I also think it's great that you are putting alot of thought into the 'right thing to do'. But I agree with the others--you're the aunt, not mom, and since she's going on the trip, give her the same amount.

But no matter what you do, they're all lucky to have you!

 

[Hannathy]

Add me to list your an Aunt giving a gift not paying them for something. All kids deserve equal treatment from their aunts! Give them all the same and wish them a great trip.

 

[Fan2CSkr]

Another that feels you should give each child the same amount. You could tell them its their B-Day gift for this year or an early Christmas gift. I would not have this tied to grades at all. I'm sure the child that didnt do as well as the rest already feels bad enough.

 

[Disneyrsh]

I sort of tried to put myself in the niece's shoes.

If my brother and sister got money at Disney and I didn't because they got good grades, would it make me try harder, or just feel really bad? I sort of lean towards the very bad feeling, and it would definitely color her memory of Disney.

What if you promised the kids rewards tied to future good perfomance, sort of an if/then gift, and just let this vacation be about the wonderful aunt splurging on her nieces/nephew?

That way, if you guys plan to go back to Disney, the kids that did well will have accumulated a hefty stash of Disney Dollars that you rewarded them with for good performance, and the one that didn't won't have you to blame, only herself.

 

[barkley]

personaly, i detest the concept/practice of paying or rewarding kids for their grades-i think it sends the wrong message (not to say that a special dinner or plenty of praise for a job well done is out of line-but i feel the pride in accommplishment should be the motivating factor).

but it sounds as though this trip was somehow tied to their performance at school and i have to assume with the one neice it's not a "can't do it" but a "won't do it" issue re. the grades. but since your sister decided to include her in the trip despite her performance i think it's a moot issue.

i think just giving them all the same amount if fine-if you want to do something to celebrate the other 2's grades you can always take them off separatly during the trip for some special treat. on the other hand-depending on the age of the kids and if they are sibs or not, i've seen kids get different amounts of gift cash from the same person-and with the advent of gift cards this can be discretly done.