Gift-opening pandemonium

[ckay87]

Well if it is crazy you can skip getting gifts from them because they will never know.

You are so right. And this year they did get a fraction of what I spent in the past for this very reason. I really just feel like, what does it matter? I think last year the parents weren't even in the room while their kids tore through everything. Nuts.

For the record, Friday morning, just DH and my boys, it will be one gift at a time. Everyone prefers it that way. Can't wait.

Which reminds me, I have to get wrapping!!

 

[luvmyfam444]

YEP! My family is like that = we are animals! LOL I didn't know it though til I met dh's family. Though opening @ his house is torture in another way. Everyone opens 1 gift a time. You must watch everyone open all their gifts so 1 person is finished before the next begins - AWFUL! I've tried to find a happy medium where everyone can open 1 gift @ the same time is a little better - I honestly don't care what everyone else got so I don't wanna have to sit & watch them before opening mine. BUT the chaos of everyone opening @ the same time is terrible 'cause noone reads the tags or pays attention & you're right I don't get to see the expression - but this is family gifts - Santa doesn't wrap here.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Well--our family, kids included, opens gifts like the adults in your scenario.

Order is from youngest to oldest. My only beef is when some smart aleck in DH's family would wrap up the smallest, tiniest things so that people will have a million individual presents. Helloo--group it all together and present it nicely in one box. We don't need to go round after round of individual candies you bought at the check out line.

 

[omghidanielle]

The gift opening process for the children goes like this:
No dialogue, it's all pretty simple. Pure pandemonium! Each kid has a big honking stack of gifts. When and adult says "go" they just tear into them like animals. After a brief glance at each, a child throws it aside and moves on. Nobody knows or cares who gave and received what from whom.

This is exactly what it's like in my Mom's family (there are 25 grandkids). We eventually had to stop buying for each other's kids because someone was always crying at the end.

 

[locolala]

We've always had a fairly organized Christmas celebration. We were given one present at a time and everyone watches the person open the gift. Thank yous are said right as the gift is opened and before we all go our seperate ways at the end of the day. Here at our house, we'll do the same thing with a twist.. half the presents will be opened on the Solstice, half will be opened on Christmas. That way, we get to celebrate what we believe in (Solstice/Yule) and our kids can still feel "normal" because they open presents the same day as their friends.

 

[C.Ann]

That never would have happened in my home - nor does it happen here at my DD's..

DGD hands out the gifts one at a time.. (The IL's are here on Christmas morning as well.) The recipient opens the gift, comments on it, holds it up for others to see, and then says thank you the "giver" (along with a hug in most cases).. Then we move on to the next gift.. Yes - it takes a lot of time, but at least everyone (including DGD) knows "who" the gift came from and has the opportunity to thank them..

Whatever gifts the IL's bring over for DGD from MIL's family are opened on Christmas morning, DGD calls them later in the day to thank them, and then sends them hand written thank you notes within a week or so..

After all the time and effort that goes into Christmas, it would drive me nuts if pandemonium caused it all to be over in a half-hour or less..

 

[MELSMICE]

We went through this with DH's family for a few years, so I can picture the scene! I finally said something to DH about it one year prior to arriving at the Christmas celebration.

It's much better now. One family passes out their gifts & they are all opened before the next family passes their out. It can still get a little crazy at times if the next family in line is not patient enough, but it's much better.

I hated the other way & told my kids that they were to keep their gifts aside & when everyone else was done having a field day they could then quietly open their gifts & thank the giver.

I cringe just remembering the way it was so I really feel for you, OP!

 

[Judy from Boise]

we are another family who opens one at a time in order of youngest to oldest....the giver is thanked hugged, and a picture taken prior to moving on! I would go bonkers the way you described OP! Because it takes a while our way, sometimes we take a break half way through to grab some munchies LOL!

At the very end we take everything out of the packaging, exchange our boxes and gift bags back to the "giver" for next year, and pick up mostly minimal trash. That way we don't leave the tree until everything is put back to order so there is no stress later on the hostess.Then we are ready for more food!

 

[disneyfav4ever]

After all the time and effort that goes into Christmas, it would drive me nuts if pandemonium caused it all to be over in a half-hour or less..

I agree, the day goes by fast enough as it is, that it's nice to take things as slowly as possible.

 

[dismom2]

Yes, some of my relatives do this. I remember buying my nephew a really cool gift that I really thought he would like, but when he opened his birthday gifts, he didn't look at any tags to see who gave him what and just tore them all open, nobody got a thank you, and he had no idea who gave him what. I've seen this happen at a few kids' birthday parties as well. Personally, I think that's rude, too.

I think people should at least know who gave them what, and it's our responsibility as parents to make sure our kids have manners, and say thank you. I don't think that's asking for much.

 

[maslex]

I guess when people grow up they assume everyone does things the same way. But that was a wake up call for me when I started dating DH. On our Christmas mornings, we always took our time opening one gift at a time (if it was a shirt, we would try it on and "model it") LOL And my dad got to the point that if we got a game, he wanted to play it (just to prolong the opening of the gifts) Us kids DID NOT let that happen. LOL There were 3 of us and it usually took us atleast one hour to an hour and a half to open our stuff (we didn't get a whole lot but we stretched it out and enjoyed what everyone got)

Now, I start dating DH...and things were so different I thought we were on another planet. I would go over there and there were separate piles of gifts and she would be like, "alright, everybody get in here so we can get this over with" We would all gather around the tree (MIL, her husband, DH, me, SIL, BIL) and she would hand everyone their pile and say, "well, go ahead open it" nobody would really talk, it was just people opening gifts with a thank you here & there.

Now that we're married with kids of my own, I use "my" gift opening traditions and she still tries to have me give my kids "piles of gifts" instead of one at a time. DRIVES ME NUTS!!!! And this year, we added on a MIL apartment and she'll be over Christmas morning to watch the kids open their gifts (they're 12 and 14 now) so she'll see how it's "really done" LOL

 

[aprilgail2]

I would hate to all tear into them at once!! We go to a cousins the day after Christmas for the gift exchange and after dinner we all sit down with the giant pile of gifts in the middle of the room and one random gift is pulled out and handed to the person its for- they open it--thank the giver then point to another gift (no looking at the tags!) and that gift is handed out-opened, thanked and then they point to a gift....and in about 2 hours or so all the opening is done LOL....now that there are more little ones in the family and more gifts it takes longer and longer LOL

 

[jenrose66]

So last weekend was our Christmas celebration with DH's side of the family. This family continuously suggests that we should stop exchanging gifts with one another because Christmas is just "about the children." Now you all can debate that as much as you want, but I disagree and here is why....

The gift opening process for the adults went like this:
Sue opens a gift from Mary and says "oh thank you so much Mary, I will use this everyday." Mary opens a gift from her parents and says "thank you mom and dad, I have been wanting one of these." And so on.

The gift opening process for the children goes like this:
No dialogue, it's all pretty simple. Pure pandemonium! Each kid has a big honking stack of gifts. When and adult says "go" they just tear into them like animals. After a brief glance at each, a child throws it aside and moves on. Nobody knows or cares who gave and received what from whom. To me...an aunt who spent many hours and dollars searching for the perfect gift for the perfect niece/nephew, it's downright offensive. Upon leaving, I'm fairly certain that nobody knew what gift we gave their children. I know that it's supposed to be all about seeing a smile on a child's face (or what-the-heck-ever), but is a thanks....or even a glance in my direction.....too much to ask?

My kids are older and are always given an envelope with money. This way they are forced to know who their gift came from and they always give a personal thanks and hug. I'd confiscate their cash if they didn't!

Anyway...."all about the children" my tush! The adults are appreciative and thankful and courteous - WE should be the ones enjoying the gift exchanging while the kids watch and learn how to act! Anyone else have a family like this?

Children need to be taught manners. My 3 year old is excited to open gifts but DH and I read to him who the gift is from and he thanks everyone promptly. I believe Christmas is for children...at least from a gift perspective. The holiday should be about spending time with family not going bankrupt.

 

[luvmyfam444]

I agree children need to learn manners - but as a pp mentioned if its the way things are done you don't know any better. I thought everyone did it this way until I went to dhs family one Christmas. I had never seen it take so long to open gifts & I was bored sick! I hated every minute of it! BUT I don't like the way my family does it either as far as ripping into them.

My dd's do know their manners - they don't open presents & toss them over their shoulders, & keep going, they usually beg to get the present out of the box & play with it & we tell them no, you have more to open & keep them on track opening while grandpa or someone gets it out of the box for them.

And no they don't dig into presents like that on b'days. One gift opened, & for parties w/friends I take a pic with the guest & gift. But if we were doing that(taking pics of every item & every person) with my whole family it would take DAYS to open presents...LOL

 

[Claudia1]

Sounds like my (deceased) in-laws..... but reversed. They were able to celebrate family Christmases when my children were in the 4-10 yr ranges. They passed away several years ago but the memories are still fresh.)

As gifts were passed out, my in-laws and adult BIL feverishly tore into their packages BUT they specifically choose the presents from each other, because they knew what was in them. Things like underwear (and we were treated to a long discussion on why new underwear was needed ). They were like sharks with blood in the water. Then they attacked the presents from DH & I. All the while, we sat quietly with our children. After they had there presents unwrapped, then they gave something to our kids. Seriously..... once they were done, the children could start. I am proud that my children never complained, in hind sight however, they were probably in shock!

Oh, and they attacked the presents as soon as we walked in the door. My DH's family was small, just his dad & step-mom plus a brother who never married, so sometimes we barely got our coats off before it began. Then we ate and were ushered to the door within a couple of hours. As they got older, they didn't even want a meal. Just the presents.

The only time we savored a meal together was when DFIL was so proud of his thriftiness. He bought a huge turkey at a great price then decided it was too much for our family dinner. So, he took it out to the garage and cut it in half with the circular saw. Yep, he was so proud of his cut that he admired it for the entire meal. The rest of the bird was in their freezer for the next year.

 

[DeluxePrincess]

You need to spend Xmas with my inlaws then. Gift opening reminds me of baby/wedding shower etiquette. Gifts are opened 1 at time and announced. Adults go first. I guess it teaches the kids patience. Gift opening can last an hour. Someone is chosen as gift passer each year. They pick up a gift and say something like, "To Grandma Milly From Jessie". Grandma Millly opens it, thanks everyone and we oooh and awww over it. It's actually very nice, but at times I find myself nodding off.

 

[aprilgail2]

He bought a huge turkey at a great price then decided it was too much for our family dinner. So, he took it out to the garage and cut it in half with the circular saw. Yep, he was so proud of his cut that he admired it for the entire meal. The rest of the bird was in their freezer for the next year.

I don't even have words......

 

[Glynis]

We try to draw our gift opening out. We all take turns, and I make sure to have a notebook to write who gave what to whom. After all the presents are opened, I give each child a copy of the list of who gave them gifts. During the rest of Christmas break, they use craft supplies to make thank you cards which get sent out before New Year's. We try to stress being polite and thanking the people who went out of their way to get a gift.

 

[MiniGirl]

OP, this sounds like a Christmas celebration I attended with DH's family one year. We flew in just for the occassion, and DH's older sister was the hostess. It was my first Christmas with them, and I think she wanted to make a good impression. When it came time to open presents, she brought out the Bible and sat near the tree with all the children. She got about half way through when the kids started saying things like, "When can we open the presents?" "This is so boring." "This isn't fair. We should read that later." "I already know that story." With each comment, she started to tear up more and more. Yes, the child's parents said something to the child, but then another one would say something. When the Christmas story was finally over, talk about pandemonium. It was exactly what you described. The adults were telling the children to slow down and they were telling them to look at the tag and thank the gift-giver, but none of them did. By the time it was over, my poor SIL was in tears, and I was turned off by the greed of the holiday. (Yes, I am a self-professed Scrooge.) That was the last year we exchanged gifts. The adults all decided the children had enough toys and didn't appreciate the ones they were given, so we decided that each year we would give the that money to my FIL and he would give it to a family that wouldn't have Christmas otherwise. (He is a pastor and knows of many families in need.)

I do enjoy Christmas more each year, but I think it is mostly because we have established new traditions that we enjoy but still manage to keep the holiday simple and focused on, what is for us, the real reason for the season.