Gift giving to bosses

[AmongMadPeople]

I'd like some other people's opinions on this issue. Each year all the employees at my work donate a fixed amount of money ($20) for a gift to be purchased for the two owners of the company. It's a small company, and an even smaller office, so it's not like they are inaccessible or just figureheads.

I've never worked anywhere else, and I don't remember my parents doing this, so I need to know - do other people buy or group buy gifts for their bosses or owners?

I've always had a problem with this, but even more so this year. I'm tired of giving gifts to people out of compulsion. I can honestly say that, this being my four holiday season here, I've never known what actually gets purchased for the owners. So, it's hard for me to believe that gift means anything to them when it means absolutely nothing to me.

To add to my frustration, I happen to know we won't be getting bonuses this year. I work in an industry that has been impacted negatively by the economy. One employee was laid off this fall, and I feel I have little job security. I understand why there are no bonuses, but why should I be expected to give? My husband thinks we should all give a gift to show that we are indebted to them for keeping us employed in this tough economic situation.

If it makes any difference, one of the owners is my FIL, so we already buy a gift for him every year, haha!

So, what do you all think? Am I just ungrateful, or justified in my frustration?

 

[handinpocket]

If you don't want to buy a gift or contribute to one, don't.

I contribute to the group gift and give my boss a personal gift, but then again, I really like and respect my boss and I'm grateful for my job.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

...If it makes any difference, one of the owners is my FIL, so we already buy a gift for him every year, haha!

So, what do you all think? Am I just ungrateful, or justified in my frustration?

Ask your FiL what he thinks.

 

[kwelch10377]

Last year my team did a group gift for my boss. We are a close team and all of us wanted to give something to our boss. She also always gives something to us. The plan is the same for this year.

I don't factor in anythink like bonuses, layoffs, raises and such when giving my boss a gift. I appreciate her and respect her and want to show her that by giving a gift.

I think the only thing you are really justified with being fustrated with is that you don't know what your contribution went towards, but a simply so what are we getting them can fix that. I would never just contribute money for a gift without knowing what was being given.

That all being said if you don't want to contribute don't.

 

[AmongMadPeople]

If you don't want to buy a gift or contribute to one, don't.

I contribute to the group gift and give my boss a personal gift, but then again, I really like and respect my boss and I'm grateful for my job.

I know I opened myself up to criticism by posting this, but my feelings about this gift have nothing to do with liking or respecting someone. I find it impersonal and meaningless to give someone $20 to buy a gift I have no input in just because I'm supposed to.

I realized after I posted that I do sound ungrateful, and I think my issue is less about who the gift is for than the circumstances.

But (and I think this is buried by my other issues ) I truly have NO IDEA if other people do this every year too. If it's the norm, I'll suck it up.

 

[kwelch10377]

I know I opened myself up to criticism by posting this, but my feelings about this gift have nothing to do with liking or respecting someone. I find it impersonal and meaningless to give someone $20 to buy a gift I have no input in just because I'm supposed to.

Who exactly decides on the gift? I'm not sure how small your company is, but why doesn't everyone discuss what to get and make is something that is personal and has meaning.

My boss loves to eat out, but has Celiac and her choices are very limited. We found a place that she can go to and gave her a gift certificate from there.

 

[mrodgers]

I've always read that you don't give a gift to your boss, but your boss gives the employees a gift as a thank you for your work.

Think about it, does your cleaning person give you a gift or do you give them a gift? Do you get a gift from your postman? The garbage collector? The doorman? There's a huge thread about the "rules of year end tipping" on here. If you are suppose to give a gift to your boss, why are you not receiving a gift from all in that post about the year end tipping instead of you giving out the tips?

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

...I truly have NO IDEA if other people do this every year too. If it's the norm, I'll suck it up.

I have NEVER gifted a boss. It could create the impression of a conflict of interest. However, everyone contributing the same amount gets around that.

If I were an owner, I would not allow this. I would tell my employees to give a gift to charity if they felt obliged to do something.

 

[LukenDC]

I give my boss a Christmas gift every year and I always put a lot of thought into the gifts to find something meaningful. He collects Faberge, so one year I bought him a book on the history of Faberge. Another year, after he developed kidney stones by not drinking enough water, I bought him a nice pitcher from Crate & Barrel. He gives all of his employees gifts every year and I also give gifts to my direct reports.

I give gifts because I want to and I value the people with whom I work.

 

[AmongMadPeople]

Ask your FiL what he thinks.

I think the only thing you are really justified with being fustrated with is that you don't know what your contribution went towards, but a simply so what are we getting them can fix that. I would never just contribute money for a gift without knowing what was being given.

I think I'm beginning to understand that a lot of my problems with this arise from the fact that our office staff is very small and mostly related. It feels weird to contribute to a gift for a boss that I will visit and exchange gifts with on Christmas Day. If I actually left the lives of all the people I work with at the end of the day, I'd feel a lot more generous. The family/work boundary is sometimes hard to deal with. I'll chat with the MIL on Monday about the actual gift.

 

[Pakey]

I work in upper management for a mid sized company (about 300 full time employees and another 500 seasonal employees).

I do not give my boss, the President, a gift. None of my staff give me a gift. I do not know if other department heads receive gifts from their employees; it's never been discussed.

I do not purchase gifts for the people who report directly to me. Not everyone celebrates the holidays.

When I first started here, the executive and administrative staff used to collect for a gift for the President. HR Dept did the shopping. But the President told me after I had been here a few years that he didn't really enjoy it; he would prefer that his employees keep their money.

Every employee of the company receives a gift. In addition to the substantial bonus, the President gives each employee a food gift pack, a $50 gift certificate and some personal type of item; this year its a hoodie, cost of $40 each. He personally hands out these gifts to every employee and tells them thank you for the hard work. Our company closes production in late December for 3 weeks for maintenance and we have an end of year party rather than a "holiday" party.

 

[tasha99]

I used to give my boss a bottle of wine for Christmas or his birthday (and a card of course). There were only 4 people in the office, two non-partnered attorneys and two legal assistants.

I always felt like I wanted to let him know I appreciated how much he did for me. I went back to school while working for him, and he didn't fire me even when it was obvious that my main focus was not his business but rather qualifying for grad school. He told me he thought my talents were wasted as a legal assistant and he did all he could to support my career change when most people would have let me go.

 

[npmommie]

I do not give my boss a gift, she gave me a gift last year, and also gave me a gift from her boss to me ( the head of the company).

 

[AmongMadPeople]

If I were an owner, I would not allow this. I would tell my employees to give a gift to charity if they felt obliged to do something.

When I first started here, the executive and administrative staff used to collect for a gift for the President. HR Dept did the shopping. But the President told me after I had been here a few years that he didn't really enjoy it; he would prefer that his employees keep their money.

I am sure both owners would agree to forgo a gift if asked. I need to check with the secretary and see if anyone has contributed yet. She only sent out the email this morning. (I should say, I've been talking with my hubby about this more, and while we disagree on the reasons, he agrees the current situation is inappropriate.)

I've always read that you don't give a gift to your boss, but your boss gives the employees a gift as a thank you for your work.

Think about it, does your cleaning person give you a gift or do you give them a gift? Do you get a gift from your postman? The garbage collector? The doorman? There's a huge thread about the "rules of year end tipping" on here. If you are suppose to give a gift to your boss, why are you not receiving a gift from all in that post about the year end tipping instead of you giving out the tips?

I totally take this as a valid point, and I've thought a lot about how this applies to what I'm experiencing. The only thing I have trouble resolving is that every year we give gifts to the people and companies that give us business, and the companies we give business to give us gifts (well, in theory anyway, now we receive about 25% of what we usually do when business is good). They don't give us gifts for the good job we do. I'm not sure which situation applies more to employer/employee relationships.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Both my husband I have given gifts to bosses (and he has received them as a boss) when working in smaller companies/offices but never in larger ones. We pretty much go with whatever the norm is for that particular office. So anyway, it can be normal, especially in smaller businesses. This year my husband is one of 12 in his office (a subset of a MUCH bigger company) and we are giving his boss a boxed set of three wines from a vintner we know he likes.

 

[FireDancer]

I've worked for companies that did the whole gift for the owners thing but my current company does not. I agree it is pretty unpersonable and if you want to give your boss a gift give him or her one. But if that is what the company does, much like the thread yesterday about the Christmas party one kill-joy didn't want to go to, just suck it up and give your share. Sometimes companies have certain cultures and trying to swim upstream will just cause you trouble. Some things are worth the fight (like if your company has discriminatory hiring practices) and some are not (like this issue).

JMO of course.