gift for a wedding, that you're not attending

[ziggystardust]

I have 2 weddings today. Despite my greatest efforts to do both, I'm missing out on one. A best friend back in the day, I haven't seen her in about 3 years. I RSVP'd no to the shower, so she's not paying for my plate.

So what is an appropriate amount to send?
(I am not opposed to sending an actual gift, though where I live the usual is cash for the wedding.)

 

[A Mickeyfan]

That is a personal choice. I would take into account how close I was to her & how much I could afford. Anything you are giving her is a full gift since she isn't paying out a plate cost for you. If she is a good friend, she would love any amount from you. It is the thought that counts, not the amount
Also not seeing her in 3 years states something... unless you guys don't live near one another...

 

[sk!mom]

Why haven't you seen her in three years?

If it's distance and you are still in touch and feel close to her then I would give the same gift whether I could attend or not.

However, if the friendship has waned and you two aren't in contact anymore and probably won't be in the future then I would either skip a gift altogether or send a smaller gift.

 

[ziggystardust]

Why haven't you seen her in three years?

she lives about 3 hours away from me so when we did see each other, it was never regularly but the distance was never a problem (we used to bus it to each other's homes before licenses). I think life got in the way. our only real contact is thru facebook now.

 

[sk!mom]

she lives about 3 hours away from me so when we did see each other, it was never regularly but the distance was never a problem (we used to bus it to each other's homes before licenses). I think life got in the way. our only real contact is thru facebook now.

In that case, I would send a card and a small gift if I wanted to. Maybe a $50 giftcard to some place that she is registered. That is my budget, though. I'm a big believer that you should do whatever fits your budget.

I don't think that you are obligated to send anything unless you want to.