Gift Etiquette - what do you do?

[Aprille]

...I asked him to tell me specifically what he would like for Christmas, his birthday, etc. So he started tearing pages out of catalogs and leaving them for me.

So I started a folder.

Then he asked me to do the same, because he doesn't know what kinds of clothes in what sizes I like or what I need for the horses or what books I might be interested in reading.

So now we each have perpetual "Things I Would Like To Have" folders.

Let me tell you how easy it is to shop for each other now!

The end result this Christmas....He got the plane he wanted and was thrilled! I got the LL Bean coat I wanted, in my exact size and color.

Ok maybe this takes some of the mystery out of it, but we each have so many things in our folders that you never know what you'll get.

I think this is a FABULOUS idea! And I've been married 31 years! I told DH about it last night and he agrees.

This year one of my gifts was a litter bag for my car. Seriously! His reasoning was that I love my car. This is true. It's a 9-year-old Saturn with 154K miles on it. And I do love it! I would love for it to give me another 100K miles.

I always appreciate any gift my DH gives me. Okay, so one year (long ago - maybe 15 years?) it was soup bowls. I didn't appreciate that much but, ya know what? We still use them!

We're starting gift folders immediately!

 

[Skywalker]

I understand that when you get a gift you don't like, you should be polite and say thank you. But this is my DH.

That is very sad. You should be even more appreciative of him above everybody else.

Anyway, he put a lot of thought into your gifts, tried to make them personal and special, and spent a lot of time. That is more than a lot of women get from their husbands. Don't take it for granted.

 

[can'twait]

That is very sad. You should be even more appreciative of him above everybody else.

Anyway, he put a lot of thought into your gifts, tried to make them personal and special, and spent a lot of time. That is more than a lot of women get from their husbands. Don't take it for granted.

I don't think it's sad. I think it's being honest. He's my DH! We should feel comfortable enough with each other to be honest. If someone else gave me a gift I didn't care for, I might just toss it in the garbage on the sly later (be it days or months), but I would feel guilty that they wasted their time and money on it. Since this was my DH, the money came from our household budget. It's my $ too. To keep the stuff would be like throwing out $150 and I just couldn't do it. I DO appreciate his efforts. I've worn ugly sweaters he's given me for years. He gave me a calendar this year that I don't care for but I kept it anyway. I'm not totally heartless! And I do mean it when I say if I gave him something he didn't like, I would want him to exchange it for something he wanted. I want HIM to be happy with the gift, not me. It's not for me, it's for him. Sure, I guess I would be disappointed that I guessed wrong, but ultimately I would want him to be happy with the gift. That's my only point. I posted this thread because I wondered what others think, and now I know. Lots of people don't agree with me, I guess. I'm also guessing that some people reacted quickly to my OP without reading the entire thread, where I gave further information. I'll try not to take it personally. Can we end this and move on?

 

[Aprille]

Can we end this and move on?

Been posting on public message boards long?! Sorry. You put it out there, it will be criticized.

Personally I don't have a problem with what you did as long as your DH doesn't. Even then, what do I care? I don't even know you.

I do have a couple of questions though that I haven't seen the answers to (and I have read the entire thread). How old are you and how long have you been married?

 

[Skywalker]

I've worn ugly sweaters he's given me for years.

Well, can I just say that this had me