getting ticked at DH

[pigletforever]

We leave tomorrow afternoon. I am excited. DS is excited. DH is well DH. THis was to be a vacation. Now he emails me and says "BTW I have a confernece call Thrusday afternoon at 3 could be several hours" UMMM we have tickets to ToT that night. I was like OK. I know his job pays for trips like this. So I didn't make a big deal about it. The call could mean he is headed to New Zealand on a project and that is great for him.

Then just now he calls and says he has a conference call on Friday AM now as well. UMMM this is to be vacation - you know a BREAK from work. THat is what vacation is all about. To recharge the batteries and renergize so you can give your best to the company. This happens all the time. We were in Paris on vacation several years ago and the same thing happened. It happened when we were at WDW. It happened when we were touring colleges with older son.

Just once I would like a vacation uninterrupted by work where he could focus totally on the family.

OK vent over now back to packing

 

[snickerboo]

I can so totally relate to your post. My dh is always checking his bberry at Disney and has to do conference calls, too. Try to press him that the night of the ToT party, he gets off the phone early.

Have fun! Vibes for short, short conference calls!!!

 

[bumbershoot]

Aw I'm sorry.

I'm sure your hubby is old hand at this, but make sure he knows how LOUD things are around DLR. Hubby tried a call while at the parks, and it is just too loud, almost everywhere. He took two calls in the GCH lobby and while that was better, it was still noisy. The room will be best, but he'll want to make sure that housekeeping is either done with the room OR knows he's in there.

I feel for all of you. Especially you since I know very well what it's like to have hubby go off to paradise (er, New Zealand) without a spouse!

 

[carebee21]

We have a similar issue. DH owns his own business so he's always fielding calls or having to leave a show to take this call, or miss a ride because this is an important call. We never have a real vacation. I've learned to just let it go. It is what it is. There's nothing you can do to change it. If he misses part of the TOT party, that's his problem. He can catch up with you whenever he's done. Don't let it ruin your trip, don't let it hold you back. Just let him do what he needs to and catch up with you guys when he's ready.

 

[HydroGuy]

Bummer. Sounds very frustating. I think we can all come up with reasons why A) it is OK because his job is important and that needs to be a priority and B) it is not OK because his family is important and that needs to be a priority.

I am a guy and therefore genetically predispositioned to "fix things" and offer advice. I have four kids currently all teens and started a tech business 15 years ago that has grown into an international success and at times has had been very demanding - especially early on. That is where I am coming from FWIW.

It seems to me your best bet is to let him have his calls and then have an absolutely great time when he is absent. Do not rub it in his face but do let him know all the great things you did when he was gone. Take some pictures of your kids. Again be totally nice about it and hope he realizes what he is missing. And be glad that at least he is there with you on the trip rather than declining altogether.

Work is always there and does require attention depending on the profession. But as people say, when someone is on their death bed you never hear them say how they wish they had worked more days. Instead they usually express regret of missed time with family and children.

For me it always bothered me when my family was doing something fun and I had to miss it. Still does.

Hope your trip is as good as it possibly can be.

BTW, I am very fortunate my tech business has gotten to a point in recent years where I have been able to take my kids with me overseas to see and do cool things. Next up is a business trip to China next month. I have been there once before. This time I am taking DS13 (my youngest) with me to see the Great Wall of China and the Forbidden City, and then on to Tokyo for 3 1/2 days at Tokyo Disney Resort. None of this would have been possible if I had not worked extremely hard in my younger years. Often the hard work and long hours pays off with more time and financial resources later in life to do cool things. I hope that is how things work out for you.

 

[Jagdcarcajou]

Try this:

1. Take cell phone/blackberry/iPhone
2. Smash into thousands of pieces
3. Life will go on



Proud non-owner of any cellular communication device! Call me when I am at home, or not at all.

Probably not a realistic solution, but one I like to encourage anyway.

 

[pigletforever]

DH has worked very hard to get to where he is in the company.

I remember once conference call while we were looking at colleges for oldest son. DH sat in parking lot of a mall while we shopped for 3 hours. Used his entire cell phone battery as well as part of mine. It is what has to be done. Crushing cell phone device will not work. the last time his went down they had a new one for him in 24 hours.

I have been able to go to Europe with him. New Zealand is out of the question tho. We are in our 40's and have been able to do some great things and will get to do more.

I figure our son and I will just do our thing and DH can join us when he can. That is what cell phones are for. I just hate for him to miss the fun and we are supposed to go back in January with both boys - the oldest will be home from college.

 

[Kittyskyfish]

I understand where you're coming from. I'm also a corporate wife and I have been in your shoes all too often. As others have stated, give your husband support and go on without him as tactfully as possible. Your husband is, I'm sure, feeling really torn about what he has to do and what he'd like to do. He wants to spend time with his family and cherish every moment possible, but then again he is part of a corporate machine that doesn't stop. There are times it can't do without his input and talent.

Have a wonderful time and please accept all my best wishes that his calls are a success!

 

[01spirit750]

Reminds me when we went to Disneyland in 2005, my daughter was 2 years old.

We had just landed at SNA and were inline waiting at the rental car counter. My coworker calls me all frantic that I needed to get on email right away and respond to an urgent issue. I calmly told him that I was inline at the rental car counter, and I had:

3- suitcases
1- stroller
1- car seat
2- large backpacks
1- screaming two year old

and no empty arms, so I didn't have any room for my lap top on vacation so I would not be able to respond and that he should do his best.

Guess what: the company survived.

Flash forward to Oct 2009
We just got back going on Oct 9-12 and I was suppose to attend conference calls everynight. I didn't call in at all. On Monday when I returned I was checking work email to see what kind of heat I was going to get, turns out all the calls on the weekend had been cancelled.

My mom was a stong believer in defining boundries. Boundries are not rigid and need to flex, but they should flex both ways.

 

[wendylady36]

Ugh, the dreaded work calls while you're on vacation. They drive me gonzo. That being said, I might have to be making some myself this Friday while I'm down there. At least I wont be bugging anyone but myself.

 

[DisneylandPlanner]

Yeah for you . . . you are going to DISNEYLAND!!!!!!!

 

[Queenbillabong]

Ugh, the dreaded work calls while you're on vacation. They drive me gonzo. That being said, I might have to be making some myself this Friday while I'm down there. At least I wont be bugging anyone but myself.

You might bug me............. but I'll bug ya right back


Seriously, I can relate to the OP, but from the opposite position. I work for myself, so I always bring work on vacation. I don't get paid days off or such, but I can be extremely flexible and work from wherever I am. This work also allows us to take fun vacations. It works for us (plus I don't sleep much, so I tend to work while everyone else is snoring away. They know me and love, and I don't wake them, so it's all good!!!).

I say have as much fun with DH as you can and then have as much fun while he's working as you can too. It's your vacation, enjoy it! I'm sure that he will enjoy it with you, just add in a bit of work on the side.

 

[MyMonkies]

That's a bummer! I can relate a little bit as my dh does have to check in with his job while we are away too. From time to time he has to use the lap top & dial in. So far none of it has been very disruptive. I hope your dh can breeze thru the business side of your vacation

 

[NVDisMom]

I sooooo understand. We just go back from the first vacation ever where DH finally said no to all work related activities while gone. I can't count the number of vacation days, holidays, etc that have been interrupted by work. The bank will live without you!

Let him deal with his misery. I have tried evrything and nothing worked. He had to figure it out in his own. Let him have his conference calls but insist he do so in the room(it is too noisy everywhere else ) while you guys are out playing. If he is on the calls while with you it will just irritate you more. Trust me. Be sure to get a couple of fast passes that you will use once he is likely back with you. The pain may hit home a little more when he doesn't get to hop in the FP line with you guys. I know, it sounds a little underhanded but...desperate times call for desperate measures. DS will catch on too and get his digs in. My girls definitely do. They don't even like his hobbies to intrude on our family vacations. (He plays in a band). This I DO NOT encourage, they simply have opinions of their own and are very observant! Eventually he will see that he is not helping himself, his career, or his relationship with his family by agreeing to taking on work while on vacation.

Take the attitude that you an your DS will have fun no matter what and DH can continue to be DH as long as it does not impact your and DS's fun. He'll get it eventually...hopefully.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Every vacation I deal with this with dh's job. He gets calls on his cell phone sometimes constantly, he works in the am, works in the pm and has conference calls with India at odd hours. I mostly feel sorry for him but at times its been really annoying when we are wanting to go on a ride and he is on his cell phone. I have a collection of photos featuring dh on his cell phone at Disney. I will add, he does not answer on rides and its on vibrate so nobody can hear it.

One thing about it, I always have a laptop to download photos and post on the disboards while I am live from WDW or DL!

And as you say, this job pays for the trips. But its hard not to get irritated sometimes!

 

[3TinksAndAnEeyore]

I, too, feel your pain. When we were in Hawaii several years ago, we had to stop our rented convertable on the side of the road for about 30 minutes prior to my DH's hour long conference call because he wanted to make certain he had a strong signal for the call. The upside? DD and I (this was before DD#2 came along) were sitting under a beautiful Hawaiian sky with gorgeous views all around us.

The upside for you? You'll get to spend some quality time with your son at Disneyland! I agree with HydroGuy. Just have a great time yourselves, take lots of photos, and be happy to see him when he's done. But do make sure he hears about all the great rides you were able to take...especially on Friday morning before the crowds start to hit! I do think you should actually take his ticket along with you and pick up fastpasses for him, too. It will underline the time you and your DS were able to spend in the park and will give you a small feeling of smugful superiority when you give him each FP to use.

 

[Albort]

yeah, its a tough economy out there, everyone is afraid to lose their job.

 

[fairykin]

We've never been on a vacation that we didn't get work calls. Be it Hawaii or a mountain in new mexico...once we were geo hunting and he had to stay up on the top of a hill to get reception..with a goat wandering around..

It can be frustrating..but it's the means that we take care of our family.