Getting tested for Apergers as an adult?

[ScienceGeek]

I've changed my user name for this in case anyone who knows me looks this up.

I ordered Tony Attwood's Guide to Asperger's and read it. 99% of it was like looking in a mirror. I've been doing more and more behaviors lately and it's getting to the point where I'm frustrated about not being able to read people and be socially successful. I also know I'm different. Intellectually I'm way up there, but socially I'm lagging way behind. I wish I could socially be on par. I've been weird all my life. Many of the things Tony had in the book really resonated with me. I was always a mini-adult, never a child. I hang on to a given subject and will not let go. I get very agitated when others do not keep pace with my learning speed (which can be freaky fast on subjects I love). There's other stuff, but I'm kinda feeling crappy today.

How would one pursue trying to find out if I'm just freaky weird or truly an aspie as an adult? Thanks!

 

[brergnat]

There's really no need to be officially "diagnosed" by a clinician at this point in your life. I am willing to bet that if you felt connected to that book in such a profound way, you are likely on the spectrum. What you'd want to focus on at this time is finding ways to overcome the behaviors that may be an obstacle to your success. You can begin by meeting with a psychologist. A good one will help you learn coping strategies, give you an outlet to discuss your issues, and likely "connect" you to other people just like you for support.

I have a son who is 6 years old who is "diagnosed" as High Functioning Autistic. I think he has Asperger's Syndrome, though. They're interchangeable, really.

Looking at our families, it is very likely that my father, who is in his 60's, is on the Spectrum. We've mentioned it to him, and he nodded thoughtfully and said, "yes, that makes sense". He's always been socially awkward, but he does have friendships that have been lifelong. He is an electrical engineer and has had a long, successful career in that field. My parent's marriage, though...it's been rough. They are still together after 39 years, which says something. My mother says that, armed with the knowledge that he probably has Autism, SO many things now make sense, and she has cut him a lot of slack with things that are out of his control (that she has felt for YEARS were awful characteristics of my father---never "listening" to her, not "caring" how she feels about things, etc.) He does exhibit a lack of empathy a lot of times, with my mom. BUT, he has a very different relationship with me and my sisters. He was actually a very good dad, when he wasn't yelling at us for "all talking at the same time."

Don't be so hard on yourself! There is hope for a bright future. You just have to find some support and in the meantime, READ READ READ!

The Internet is great for discussion groups. There are several for people on the spectrum.

Good luck!

 

[ScienceGeek]

Thanks a bunch! I'll look into trying to find some support for this. It makes me feel so lonely because people don't really understand me. I try so hard to make friends and I have a few really good ones, but where I'm at right now, I don't have any except for a few in my study group that I see, but I don't have anyone to hang out with. I know I have a bright future in my chosen career field, I'm just really worried about the future of my social life. I already have to work harder than everyone else to keep up in school that trying to compete socially is wearing me down. I know this is why I just explode when I come home. I try so hard to keep it together when I'm out, I just can't do it anymore when I'm home.

 

[bookwormde]

I agree, unless you need a diagnosis for getting services, it makes little difference if you are an Aspie or fall over the line for a formal diagnosis.

Becoming self aware is the best thing you can do.

We dig into our areas special interest that is often hard for NTs to understand and consume information at exceptional rates. We are different and since we have to construct our social presentation intellectually it will never be as fluid as those who were born with the neurological structures dedicated to this task.

There is a sophisticated computer program from Cambridge University called mind reading which is a really good program for developing TOM skills. If you want to understand our sociological place in history, Genius Genes is a good perspective book. Look at NTs limited of abilities (disabilities) just as you would appreciate them accepting yours. In the day of the internet, we are much less limited.

IF you have not found it there is a blog for Aspies, it is a little "wild west" so if you have a thick skin you will find a wide range of opinions on just about everything.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/

Relax, and celebrate your gifts and do the best you can with the areas that are challenging, we are different, so try not to compare yourself to others who evolution never intended you be exactly like.

bookwormde

 

[brergnat]

IF you have not found it there is a blog for Aspies, it is a little "wild west" so if you have a thick skin you will find a wide range of opinions on just about everything.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/

I find that website absolutely fascinating! I like reading the discussions, because I feel like when I do, I get a lot of insight into how my son's mind might be working. He is still too young to really express his thoughts but in the meantime, I love this site!

 

[kirstenb1]

Our local Autism Society of America chapter has meetings for adults with Asperger's. Maybe you could do a google search and see if there's something like that in your area.

 

[sorul82?]

My Aspie child is currently on my poop list for getting a 92.2 in Algebra. Why is he in trouble you ask? Because he was too focused on Stargate and rushed through an in-class project and received a 62 on it, costing him an A.

 

[jandmmom]

Becoming self aware is the best thing you can do.

We dig into our areas special interest that is often hard for NTs to understand and consume information at exceptional rates. We are different and since we have to construct our social presentation intellectually it will never be as fluid as those who were born with the neurological structures dedicated to this task.

Relax, and celebrate your gifts and do the best you can with the areas that are challenging, we are different, so try not to compare yourself to others who evolution never intended you be exactly like.

I really, really love the way that you have written this & given such a great perspective! I have a 6 year old son with Aspergers who continues to amaze me every day! As a parent who loves and cares for him more than anything, I struggle with how this will play out as he gets older. He has soooooo many talents & gifts, and I would love that to be the focus of his life rather than the things that are more difficult for him. However, I realize that social interactions & relationships are a huge part of life.

I think that your advice to "ScienceGeek" (love the name by the way) was excellent & I hope I remember this for when my son gets older.

To ScienceGeek - I agree with the others that the formal diagnosis isn't as important as how you decide to deal with what you are experiencing and feeling right now. If you can find some support either in your community or in online groups, that might go a long way toward helping you develop awareness of yourself and your needs. I am sure that you have some amazing skills and talents as well, and that should never be overlooked. I often wish that I could learn the way my son learns (that is, he becomes interested in a topic and TEACHES HIMSELF everything there is to know about said topic in a matter of hours...truly an amazing gift).

Good luck to you

 

[kirbydog48]

Is there some kind of group you can join to meet other "science geeks", people who share a common interest? I remember hearing Temple Grandin interviewed, where she described being involved in a rocket club when she was in high school, and how that really helped her develop social skills. I worry about my ds11 in this area too. He really isolates himself, and is more comfortable in a virtual world. My sense is that you're in college?? From a (much!) older perspective, try to remember that it will get better as you get older. For now, try to embrace your quirkiness and remember that there are lots of us neurotypicals who find the Aspies in our lives completely fascinating and wonderful to be with.

 

[physicalt104]

Thanks a bunch! I'll look into trying to find some support for this. It makes me feel so lonely because people don't really understand me. I try so hard to make friends and I have a few really good ones, but where I'm at right now, I don't have any except for a few in my study group that I see, but I don't have anyone to hang out with. I know I have a bright future in my chosen career field, I'm just really worried about the future of my social life. I already have to work harder than everyone else to keep up in school that trying to compete socially is wearing me down. I know this is why I just explode when I come home. I try so hard to keep it together when I'm out, I just can't do it anymore when I'm home.

Don't discount these feelings! The rate of depression in the high functioning spectrum community is soaring, so you are absolutely doing the right thing in looking for support. While I agree that a diagnosis is secondary, it can lead you to social support groups, in some cases medication, but most importantly, services from your school's Wellness center. Don't go this one alone. You obviously have so much to give!!!!!

 

[amyy]

http://www.socialthinking.com/
You may find info on this site. If you do look into connecting with a professional you could find some suggestions on here. Michelle's social thinking works would probably be very interesting to you. Read, connect with support groups, clubs that interest you to meet people socially etc. Good luck

 

[Funball]

yes there is alots of social groups and support groups for adults with aspergers., it's not something you should be ashamed of..most adults have it!

 

[jodifla]

yes there is alots of social groups and support groups for adults with aspergers., it's not something you should be ashamed of..most adults have it!

Most adults have Asperger's??

 

[Schmeck]

Most adults have Asperger's??

Think of it this way - we all have our strengths and weaknesses, our abilities and disabilities, so yes, we are all on the spectrum.

 

[jodifla]

Think of it this way - we all have our strengths and weaknesses, our abilities and disabilities, so yes, we are all on the spectrum.

Actually, no. We are not all on the autism spectrum. IMO, it's rather demeaning -- to the autistic people -- to suggest that we are.

 

[CMHusband]

Thanks a bunch! I'll look into trying to find some support for this. It makes me feel so lonely because people don't really understand me. I try so hard to make friends and I have a few really good ones, but where I'm at right now, I don't have any except for a few in my study group that I see, but I don't have anyone to hang out with. I know I have a bright future in my chosen career field, I'm just really worried about the future of my social life. I already have to work harder than everyone else to keep up in school that trying to compete socially is wearing me down. I know this is why I just explode when I come home. I try so hard to keep it together when I'm out, I just can't do it anymore when I'm home.

I hear you, my 12 year old son has aspbergers and as the dad, I worry about him socially. he gets along great with people (in his own way) but after a while people who don't get him, will shy away so Its hard to make friends. The good news is that you are feeling like seeking social relationships. Lots of Asper's don't even care if they are social or not, I don't know how old you are but it sounds like you are possibly in high school, which is hard socially for MOST people. I recommend doing some research on the internet and find some social groups in your area that you can join specifically designed to help you learn some of the social skills that you struggle with. With a little help and your willingness to have some understanding of your situation, you can learn to overcome some awkwardness and blossom, just maybe slower than others, but you will be fine. Embrace who YOU are, and then do self improvement like any of us have had to do in our lives for one reason or another. Your perfect just the way you are and eventually you'll find good friends who enjoy the same things as you and ignore any quirks. Thats really no different for anyone in life. but I do understand how frustrating it can be and why you feel like exploding when you get home - Life can hurt sometimes but working on it gives us something to strive for and a reason to be.