Getting stalked at Disney

[JPN4265]

My wife and I were friends with another couple for several years until recently (I got laid off and he made welfare jokes which I found very offensive). We haven't spoken in 3 months and I thought that they were out of our lives.

Well, my sister who works at Disney World didn't know that I was no longer talking to them helped them book a trip to Disney. Apparently, our former friends knew we had a trip booked via facebook and decided that the best way to reconnect was to book a trip at the same time we are going. They are booked in a different hotel, but I know I am going to run into them.

In order to avoid any kind of awkwardness, I called my former friend to try and make everything nice. I was able to smooth things over, but they are still very opinionated (making jokes about me being on unemployment and being a stay at home dad as well as attacks on our politics) and are generally kind of weird.

I just found out last week that our "friends" have moved their hotel to our hotel and didn't even tell us. They told my sister that they intend to surprise us when we get there!

I am going on a family trip with my wife, son, parents, and sister and her husband. The last thing I want to do is get straddled with our former friends who have done zero research on Disney. They have called me nonstop to get information and no matter how much I try and help them, they refuse to listen. They are driving me nuts!

I just changed our hotel to the GF so we can avoid them at the Poly but I know they are going to be calling me non stop while we are there. I do not want to be stuck with them and there 3 kids (all under 4) the entire time.

If you can do it. I would change my reservation to either the week before or the week after, and not tell anyone but the people in your group. I know this is hard, but it should put an end to this forever. Or you could just tell them where to get off.

 

[beansmom]

no how, no way would I even THINK about changing my vacation dates even if it was possible.

I agree...STOP POSTING PERSONAL INFO on facebook. It's a dangerous cyberworld out there...any OTHER nut could stalk you at disney as well. I would only put this info on AFTER the fact.

I would NOT answer the hotel phone...nobody calls me on that but the front desk anyway. I don't think you will run into them too often but if you do, just say 'gotta go' and then GO. You don't owe them any other explanations.

 

[KellyNY]

Okay first off...what a nightmare....I'd stop taking their calls first off. Tell them you're too busy being a stay at home dad to talk on the phone! Then when you go to WDW and they find out you moved resorts, if you see them and they ask why, tell them your wife got a big raise so you upgraded...don't answer your cell. Hell shut it off...it's your vacation. If they ask, tell them you're with your family on a trip, you're not taking calls unless it's an emergency. I'd blow them off big time...these people are not your friends and I'm not confrontational either but what they're doing is beyond pathetic and you need to let them know...better yet, have your wife blow them off for ya!

Good one!

 

[waltslostnephew]

Poly and Grand Fla. I need some welfare like that. They sound like not much in the way of friends.

 

[ajpa]

This reminds me of that movie .. I think it was RV, where this one family kept following this other family around.

I never thought it happened in real life.

Just brush them off and have a good vacation!

 

[whogirl'smom]

Post to Facebook that you have cancelled your vacation.

 

[KimFIGFern]

I think it is rather weird that they would "butt into" your vacation ... especially with extended family.

Sometimes people that are rude to you ... are actually jealous of the things you have ... perhaps great family, good kids, nice wife, etc. If their way of "being your friend" is to put you down, they probably are not your friend. They do this in order to make themselves feel better. Just my two cents.

I truly hope it works out for you.

 

[nerdyone]

Poly and Grand Fla. I need some welfare like that. They sound like not much in the way of friends.

Yeah, I was a little surprised at how well off we were on Unemployment. We had to fire the nanny to save money but my wife does well for herself and we saved a lot. Still, I have been interviewing non stop and I am sure I will get a decent offer soon. 6 job interviews so far and 2 offers, just not what I am looking for yet.

 

[nerdyone]

I think it is rather weird that they would "butt into" your vacation ... especially with extended family.

Sometimes people that are rude to you ... are actually jealous of the things you have ... perhaps great family, good kids, nice wife, etc. If their way of "being your friend" is to put you down, they probably are not your friend. They do this in order to make themselves feel better. Just my two cents.

I truly hope it works out for you.

He and I used to work together in sales and we were always very competitive. If I was ranked 1st one month, he was 1st the next.

We've been on vacation before together and we know how it goes. Before either of us had kids, we both one the President's Club from our company and were sent to cancun for a week. That was a nightmare too, especially when the ordered a $300 bottle of wine at dinner and then split the tab with us.

 

[bopper]

There is a great book called "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker.
In it he says that if you don't want to talk to someone anymore, don't talk to them! If you call them back after 10 messages to say that you don't want to talk to them anymore, then all they learn is that they have to try 10 times to get you to talk to them.

Tell your sister not to give them anymore information. Don't change any plans for them. If they do find you, then suddenly have to go to another park/back to the hotel/off to a restaurant reservation. If you must, tell them that you are looking forward to family time and are not interested in travelling together. Don't "go along" with anything they want because that is not what YOU want. Have a plan with your wife on what to do if you see them.

 

[LMO429]

Post to Facebook that you have cancelled your vacation.

also set your privacy on facebook so they can not see any updates that you make

 

[MHSweb79]

Another way is the direct approach. Call them and say, "Hey, I understand we're going to be at Disney at the same time! We should see if we can meet up for a dinner while we're there."
That will let them know that you are NOT planning to spend your days with them, and it shouldn't offend them since you are offering to meet them for a dinner. If they say OK, let them try to make ADR's for all of you. It probably won't happen, but if it does, then what's one dinner? You've solved your problem, kept the possibility of any future friendship open (since you're unwilling to cut these folks off rudely) and it shouldn't ruin your entire vacation. If you do happen to see them, which is unlikely, you can always wave as you walk by and say, "See you at the (restaurant) on Saturday!"
If they say they were hoping to tag along with you at the parks, just tell them that you have a commando touring plan set up and are getting up at the crack of dawn every day, which wouldn't be any fun for them at all. I've also found that the phrase "I'm just not comfortable with......" works wonders. Such as, "I'm just not comfortable asking my folks to change the plans that they've made. Hope you have fun!"

 

[jjarman]

I am a lot like you in that I hate confrontation. I will avoid it like the plague. But...there are some things you can do to avoid them. If they insist on meeting you at a park one morning, go to a different park. I love that. If they insist on meeting you for dinner, give them another restaurant than you have planned ADRs for. If they ask later what happened just say it was all a miscommunication. If they ask about why you upgraded to the GF, tell them it was the money you got as part of Obama's stimulus plan. They will love that.

Basically, I would avoid their calls. You have caller ID on the cell so just don't take their calls. I am like you in that I will have my phone on while I am on vacation so that I can communicate with the rest of my party. Just ignore them. And don't feel guilty for it because they are such jerks.

 

[KikiFan]

I can't imagine going on vacation and having this mess hanging around my neck like a rock, worrying about running into them, dodging phone calls, looking over my shoulder. That seems like a guaranteed vacation downer. Do you really want to deal with this mess at Disney? Do you want to stress out about possible fallout on vacation?

Why not just man up about the situation? Call them and end the friendship and make it clear you're not interested in hanging with them ever - much less at Disney.

Or if you want to play nice - do as a previous poster suggested Call them and let them know nicely that this is a family trip and it's all pretty well planned out, so you don't have time for any non family events.

 

[WDSearcher]

I'm only in Disney for 5 days. The last thing I want to do is get saddled with their 3 kids. Plus, I plan my vacation and it annoys me that they think they can just leach off of me. I tried explaining to them the importance of getting to the park for the rope drop, leaving at noon to five for naps, and returning but they think they know more.

Got to love this! I forgot to mention that my "friend" said he has a note from his doctor to get a special wrist band that will put them in the front of the line. First, I find this behavior disgusting, second my friend won't listen to me that this magical wrist band doesn't exsist. I told my sister who is the CM and she almost cancelled their trip because she was so appalled by their behavior.

I tried to explain that with proper planning, baby swap, and FP, there really is no reason to stay in line for more than 15 minutes. His magical wrist band isn't even needed! But of course he knows more!

Why do you keep talking to these people? And why do you keep trying to give them advice? Leave them alone and let them have their vacation. And then you go and have yours.

 

[beansmom]

I am a lot like you in that I hate confrontation. I will avoid it like the plague. But...there are some things you can do to avoid them. If they insist on meeting you at a park one morning, go to a different park. I love that. If they insist on meeting you for dinner, give them another restaurant than you have planned ADRs for. If they ask later what happened just say it was all a miscommunication. If they ask about why you upgraded to the GF, tell them it was the money you got as part of Obama's stimulus plan. They will love that.

Basically, I would avoid their calls. You have caller ID on the cell so just don't take their calls. I am like you in that I will have my phone on while I am on vacation so that I can communicate with the rest of my party. Just ignore them. And don't feel guilty for it because they are such jerks.

my issue with this is why should anyone have to LIE about it? If you can't make yourself be brutally honest, then just say 'we already have plans' and just avoid them.

I also wanted to add before (but forgot...senior moments are charming, eh?) For grins, i would post fake info on my facebook...a whole fake itinerary, the whole works. But I'm goofy like that.

 

[jjarman]

my issue with this is why should anyone have to LIE about it? If you can't make yourself be brutally honest, then just say 'we already have plans' and just avoid them.

I also wanted to add before (but forgot...senior moments are charming, eh?) For grins, i would post fake info on my facebook...a whole fake itinerary, the whole works. But I'm goofy like that.

Well now you are saying to do basically the same thing I was saying. I just love messing with people though. I would even go so far as to say we have decided not to go after all because of our financial situation. I work with a girl who has a family member who is always trying to horn in on everything they do. If Amber gets a new house, Stacey gets a new house. If Amber moves to another state, Stacey has to move there too. Really strange and sad. We keep telling Amber to tell her you are moving across the country in a couple of months and see if she will move there also.

 

[Disney Doll]

1. If you don't like them, STOP TALKING TO THEM. Don't take their calls, stop giving them advice.

2. Don't post personal info on facebook. Not only do these people see it, but 40 million other people see it too and now know when your house is going to be empty because you are travelling

3. Use voicemail. It's there for a reason....so you don't always HAVE TO answer your phone. If your phone rings and it's them, don't answer. If you get a text message, don't answer. If your room phone rings, don't answer. The rooom phones at WDW have voicemail too.

4. Tell the front desk at the GF that under no circumstances is your room number to be given out to anyone. Have them make a notation of some sort on your reservation/check-in confirmation.

5. If you bump into them, say hi and move along. If they say "Oh can we tag along?" the answer is "No, we are keeping this a family vacation". And then move along. Don't linger, don't explain, don't apologize.

 

[ILuvTinkerbelle]

WOW! I dont' even know what to say....it is beyond weird that anyone would schedule a trip to coincide with someone else without telling them. Clearly they must know by now that you know they are coming.

I say what everyone else says....don't answer the phone, post a fake itinerary on FB so they think they know which park you are going to and if you run into them make an excuse to get away.

I do think though that telling them before you leave that you will be unavailable while on vacation would help you. This way if you do meet them there is no confusion. When we go on vacation we call it the Z Family bubble...no phones, emails, nothing, just us. We have vacationed with family and honestly it is just easier when you only have to follow your own plan.

Good luck and I hope to read here in a week that you had a great, uneventful trip!

 

[Halloweenqueen]

I'd post a link of this thread on your Facebook page.

They might get the message.