Getting SO to understand love of Disney??

[KarenAylwood]

So, I live w/ my DBF and we've been together for... well I think it's been a little over 2 and a half years. Things are great, amazing even, and he even puts up with my little quirks I've had two serious longterm relationships before this one and neither compare at all.

I am SO HAPPY with my DBF, and he puts up with my Disney-ness. I love Disney and I'm an avid Disney DVD collector as I grew up with Disney and have been to WDW 15 times (I'm now 23). Well, I shouldn't say "puts up with" he thinks it's cute- he even bought me a snowglobe off of ebay and bought us tickets to the Lion King off broadway for my Christmas this year. He also will watch Disney movies with me (after some coaxing) and usually enjoys them.

We went on a trip to Ireland in August and went on a cruise our senior year spring break and we LOVE to vacation/travel together. He's in med school and I'm finishing grad school and looking for a job currently so we know there aren't any vacations coming up soon for us (Ireland was our last big hooorraaahhh for a while).

The thing is that I want to take a trip with him to WDW more than ANYTHING. I mention it all the time and he kind of brushes it off. He's a big money saver and hates to spend money on "frivolous" things so I think that he thinks WDW is a waste of money especially because he doesn't understand it. He didn't grow up with Disney like I did, and also came from a "poor" household where vacations and spending money weren't common. (the only reason we went to Ireland was because we had a definite budget and stayed w/ his family the entire time). I, however, am a single child and went on vacation with my mom twice a year (dad = workaholic). He thinks Disney is for kids and says "sure, we'll go to Disney, once we have kids". But I want to go as a couple before that.

And on top of this, when we go (I SWEAR we will before kids) I am afraid he won't "get it". I'm on at Disney and I'm afraid he won't understand or appreciate it.

Have you ever had this experience with a SO/spouse? Did you introduce them to Disney and get them to understand/appreciate/enjoy it??

 

[Planogirl]

Mine has never appreciated Disney and I finally learned to accept it. He doesn't really care all that much about traveling in general though even though he will go from time to time.

Some people never, ever get it. The best thing to do in that case is compromise. Go to WDW occasionally but do other things too. That way everyone is hopefully happy.

 

[Just2554]

My DBF was never one to travel or be interested in culture or anything like that until he met me. His mother never took him or his sister anywhere because she didn't want to spend her precious money on them when they could just pay their own way when they got older.

So now DBF goes with my family. We've been together for 3 years now and my parents happily take him along with us. He does pay his own way, but my parents put in alot of money towards the hotel room and dinners because they love him and feel bad that his mother is the way she is.

He has really come to love Disney and everywhere else we've been. He always liked Disney and whatnot, but he never really experienced Disney World the right way (he'd gone once with his family when he was about 12 and they wouldn't even hit the parks until noon..not to mention his mom won't ride rides, so he had to skip loads. Such a waste IMO). He loves it now and we're actually going for our Spring Break the first week of March.

He tells me all the time that I'm so passionate about it all, he can't help but love it too.

 

[azgal81]

Tell him you really want to go. He would have to go with you because it would make you so happy. Tell him if you save a certain amount each month for a year that will cover for your whole trip. I have only been to WDW a few times when I was a kid it's easier to go to disneyland because I live so close. I think it would be fun to go with my boyfriend to WDW but he is all like why bother when DL is so close. Luckily he does like DL just in small doses. He thinks we should only go once a year. Which I guess would be reasonable to some people and I should be happy about that but I think every six months is good! He might never get the love for disney but he should go anywayse even before you have kids. Tell him how cool it would be to show your kids pictures and tell them the stories of when their parents went to WDW together. Who knows he might be planning a tirp for you now!

 

[jamzots]

My DH doesn't "get it" either. Neither do my friends but that's o.k.. I guess we are part of a unique crowd with our love for all things Disney. I watched the WDW parade on T.V. on Christmas Day by myself, I begged DH and DS's to watch with me but they wouldn't, so I sat on the couch by myself bouncing up and down like a kid because I was so excited!! They just laugh at me!! Could you possibly save some money yourself without telling him, and them maybe surprise him with a long weekend at Disney? Maybe when he actually goes he'll get into it like you do. I plan all our trips myself and then I tell DH that I am planning a trip and if he would like to come he is more than welcome, otherwise I will go by myself. He has always come with me and I have to say he does have a great time in spite of himself!!! Our next trip is planned for the week after Thanksgiving this year. It will be our first time to see all the Christmas stuff. I am so excited!!! I am already thinking about our plans, and dining, and my husband thinks I'm nuts to be planning so far ahead, but I don't care. And now that your able to make PSR's 6 months in advance, you kind of have to have a plan early on, or you won't get into the restaraunts that you want. DH doesn't understand that either. Well I hope you do get to go before you have kids, you can make it happen !!!!

 

[mommaU4]

Okay, I really hope that the two of you are able to go at least once as a couple before any kiddies enter the picture. Being there as a couple versus a family is so very different. Not that one is better than the other. Both are great, just different.

Having said that, I hear your pain. My DH is not the Disney fan that I am. He likes it, just doesn't cry over the commercials and planning DVDs like I do, KWIM? We went to DL alot only because we lived so close, otherwise I doubt we would have gone as often. And as far as WDW he'd be happy with going once every 5 years or so.

From what you've said, I doubt that your Dbf will ever feel the way you do about Disney and no amount of convincing on your part will help him understand it. He might learn to like Disney and respect your passion for it, but don't expect him to feel the way you do. And that's okay. As long as he's not putting you down for it, which it doesn't sound like he is, you need to accept that this may just be one thing you aren't equally passionate about.

But don't take it personally. Sometimes when we are so excited about something and can't wait to share it, and the other person doesn't feel exactly the same, it can feel like a personal attack. After all, we love it, why don't they?

When the two of you finally do make it to Disney as a couple, just go with realistic ideas about the whole thing. You say Disney has you on cloud nine and that's great, but if he isn't quite ready to join you up there don't be too disappointed or upset. As long as he goes with you, that's showing his love for you right there. He doesn't need to tear up at the sight of Mickey. And who knows, after enough visits or maybe after kids enter the picture and he sees the magic through a childs eyes, he might decide to join you on after all. Good luck.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

I'm probably going to get my DIS privileges revoked for this (lol), but...

My dbf has never been to Disney and I never even tried to get him to love it as much as I do. In fact, I rarely talk about it with him. I have a feeling that I'll end up going alone anyway, since he's agoraphobic, but that doesn't bother me.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I've just about given up on my DH. He's been to WDW before, has a good time when we're there, and then is content not to go back for the next 3-5 years. I used to be ok with the every 3 years, but now a long time for me is 1 year. I've learned to bring my children and to not worry about him.

In Sept 2004 the 2 of us went without any children (it had been a few years since h'd been). My goal was to do everything that he would like so that he'd have such fond memories that he'd want to return with the rest of the family. The reality is that he had a great time and is now good for another 3-5 years. Hmmm, I won't be repeating that any time soon!

Introduce your SO to Disney before you have kids. Maybe he'll love the place like many of us do and want to return. Maybe not.

 

[gradtchr]

When DH and I were dating I constantly talked about my love of all things Disney and he had never been there. Well he proposed and we had a Disney wedding which was his first experience with Disney-we are now saving for our next trip and he has two conditions on it. One we stay at a monorail resort and two we get the premium or platinum package that includes the three meals a day. He absolutely loved it and can't wait to go back!! Of course I can't wait to go back either!!

 

[JennInTN]

I so understand this. I have always been a Disney fan. Somehow I talked my husband into a honeymoon at WDW in `96 (musta been luv). We had a great time, it was our honeymoon after all. But he never had a desire to go back. Fast forward 8 years I had to attend a convention in Orlando. Built a family vacation into the business trip. We had a nice time. I really spent a great deal of time on the special touches. Tee times. Window table at Ohana during wishes on night of arrival, kid club ressies for a night out, etc... But he wasn't ready to go back in a big hurry.
So last year, we booked a room at WL (we stayed here for honeymoon), upgraded the ressie to conceirge. On our last day, as we were walking out the door to the park for a last few rides and attractions, my husband grabbed my hand and said "Next year when we come back..."
I don't know how he finished the statement, cause I was in such shock that he even started a sentence that way. There's hope.

Explain that you really would like him to see it with you, through your eyes. Point out the grown-up fun. And knock his socks off planning special touches.

And I agree with mommaU4, you've got to try it with and without the kids. It's great both ways.