Getting married during college?

[CelticBelle]

i'm a sophmore in college right now and have been engaged for over 1 year. Weve been dating a total of four years. I would like to get married sooner than later because by the time I finish school it will have been seven years. four years is a long time to be engaged. thats not even counting whether I go to grad school. If I wait until after college I will have tons of student loans to take care of and looking for a job, etc. I don't know how to afford a wedding during college though.

Has anyone else been through this? I'm looking for some advice and a little light in what seems to be a depressing situation.

 

[Berlioz70]

i'm a sophmore in college right now and have been engaged for over 1 year. Weve been dating a total of four years. I would like to get married sooner than later because by the time I finish school it will have been seven years. four years is a long time to be engaged. thats not even counting whether I go to grad school. If I wait until after college I will have tons of student loans to take care of and looking for a job, etc. I don't know how to afford a wedding during college though.

Has anyone else been through this? I'm looking for some advice and a little light in what seems to be a depressing situation.

I was right there with you! I just married my high school sweetheart last May, we were together for about 5.5 years by the time we got married (which is of course not 7 years). We decided to wait until after both of us had earned our Bachelor degrees, because then our work companies would be able to help with insurance, etc. It's really hard to get couples insurance when you're a student.

I am actually a grad student now, we got married the summer between my first and second year. Luckily it was easy for me to balance my school/work/marriage plans because of the amazing help I got from family - but do keep in mind that it takes a lot of work to plan a wedding.

I know it's hard to wait, but waiting until we both had jobs was defiantly a great decision for us!

 

[DISNEYmooner2008]

Hey!!! I normally don't visit the college board, but this post caught my eye!!! I am 19 years old and a sophomore in college. I just married my best friend on 1/5/08. We have been dating for about 2 years and engaged for a year and 10 months. I know, I know.... we fell in love right away, but had a pretty long engagement. My husband is 21 and works in law enforcement so he gets state benefits such as insurance for the both of us which is great. I do alot of my classes online and teach pre-school during the day. We are so in love and so happy. Getting married before I graduated was the best choice for us and we couldn't be happier. Good luck with your decision!!! Just so you know though, it can happen and it can be great to get married young!

 

[CelticBelle]

thanks for the support. My fiance is actually studying to become a firefighter. He starts his practicum in june and then he'll be done with school. so I am also the only one in school. It's just hard to wait so long. We originally wanted to get married between my freshman and sophmore year, but it didn't happen. How do you guys deal with all of the stress from school, work and planning a wedding at the same time?

 

[DISNEYmooner2008]

The key to keeping away wedding stress is to plan as early as possible. I basically planned during the summer between my high school graduation and my freshman year. Then, when it was really time to put wedding plans into action i already knew what i wanted. As far as work goes, I work 8-6 on M-F. My husband works 7am - 7pm, but he only works 14 days a week. 3 on, 4 off, 4 on, 3 off. So he's off a good bit through the week. I am off every weekend and he's off 2 weekends a month. He has the house clean and dinner ready when he's off, and I have the house clean and dinner ready when he's working. As far as school goes, I take alot of online classes so it works great for us. We can sit on the couch and I can be studying while he's watching a movie at night. On top of all that we are actually trying for a baby right now as well due to me having some fertility issues that will continue to get worse with time. Maybe our plan isn't right for everyone, but it certainly is perfect for us. As long as you realize that it's not all going to be perfect, and you realize you are really going to have to work to be happy and to make it, everything will be fine.

 

[CelticBelle]

Thanks for your help. Your plans seems very similar to what I want to do/am already doing. we live together now and have worked out great schedules for studying and working and still being able to spend time together. I really want to get more planning done during the summer but I feel that I can't get started because we have no way to tell what, and when we can afford things and therefore cannot set a date. I feel I can't find the motivation to plan ahead with that.

I saw that you had your honeymoon at WDW which is where we want to go also. I hope you had a great time. Congratulations BTW and good luck trying for a baby!

 

[DISNEYmooner2008]

Thanks so much!! And good luck to you!!! Planning a wedding is really fun, and if money is an issue just remember to keep things small. Sometimes the small, intimate weddings are the best Once you get started planning, you won't want to stop, trust me! Sometimes I'm like, "hey.... my wedding's over and i still want to plan!!".
Good luck with everything!

 

[babieemelly]

thanks for the support. My fiance is actually studying to become a firefighter. He starts his practicum in june and then he'll be done with school. so I am also the only one in school. It's just hard to wait so long. We originally wanted to get married between my freshman and sophmore year, but it didn't happen. How do you guys deal with all of the stress from school, work and planning a wedding at the same time?

Wedding's should be fun. Sure they're stressful, but if you're already stressed out with school and work then why rush away all the fun wedding planning with even more stress? If you guys really feel like you're going to be together forever then you shouldn't have to rush to get married. I'd personally wait until you graduate and get a job so you could afford a wedding and actually do things your own way. You've already been together for a while so waiting a few more years to get married isn't that big of a deal in the long run and it isn't going to change your relationship. It's so important to be financially stable when getting married, whether you're young or a little older. Do you guys have insurance or are you under your parent's coverage? Do you have a place to live together? Do you have the money to fully support yourselves without anyone else's help?

Best of luck, I hope it all works out for you

 

[CelticBelle]

thanks everyone. It's nice to realize that everything I have been thinking has been said by someone. I makes me feel like I'm not alone in the ideas and thoughts that I have had. We are going to wait until after I graduate to get married, but I just can't wait. I look forward to planning and everything so much and 3 years feels so far away!

 

[Caribbeanprincess]

I'm glad I saw this thread. I have a similar issue though a bit more complicated. I've been with my current boyfriend for a year-and-a-half (i'm 18 at the moment), even though we haven't been together for long I think both of us are pretty sure that we want to spend the rest of our lives together. I would love to get married sometime in the next 2 years, but there is a slight problem...my boyfriend is two years younger than me, so he's 16 at the moment. My perfect plan would be to get engaged sometime soon and wait until he is in college to actually get married, but i'm not sure how his family would react to that and I don't know how it will affect our college education.

 

[DISNEYmooner2008]

I'm glad I saw this thread. I have a similar issue though a bit more complicated. I've been with my current boyfriend for a year-and-a-half (i'm 18 at the moment), even though we haven't been together for long I think both of us are pretty sure that we want to spend the rest of our lives together. I would love to get married sometime in the next 2 years, but there is a slight problem...my boyfriend is two years younger than me, so he's 16 at the moment. My perfect plan would be to get engaged sometime soon and wait until he is in college to actually get married, but i'm not sure how his family would react to that and I don't know how it will affect our college education.

WOW your situation is a little more complicated than the OP's.... Well, I'll say this - I'm 19 years old and married and love it. My husband is 2 years older than me however. We were together for around the same amount of time you and your boyfriend are when we got married (3wks ago) We are loving every second of married life. Sure, it's no piece of cake and it's WAY different than when were engaged or just dating, but it's wonderful. Getting married so young isn't for everyone I'm sure, but it's working well so far for us. Good luck to you and your boyfriend. If it's meant to be, it will be Never forget that, and never let anyone stand in your way. Do what you know is best for you guys!

 

[DISNEYmooner2008]

I look forward to planning and everything so much and 3 years feels so far away!

Who says you have to wait to start planning??? If you and yours has decided to wait until after you graduate, planning now will benefit you. You have 3 whole years to plan the wedding of your dreams!! You can plan at a slow pace and explore tons of options - how fun!!

 

[Caribbeanprincess]

WOW your situation is a little more complicated than the OP's.... Well, I'll say this - I'm 19 years old and married and love it. My husband is 2 years older than me however. We were together for around the same amount of time you and your boyfriend are when we got married (3wks ago) We are loving every second of married life. Sure, it's no piece of cake and it's WAY different than when were engaged or just dating, but it's wonderful. Getting married so young isn't for everyone I'm sure, but it's working well so far for us. Good luck to you and your boyfriend. If it's meant to be, it will be Never forget that, and never let anyone stand in your way. Do what you know is best for you guys!

Thanks very much! I'm glad your marriage is going well and that you're happy, that's the most important thing.

Quite frankly, if it were up to me I would be married right now. But, I know he's not ready for that yet. Hopefully, though, i'll have a proposal soon.

 

[CelticBelle]

Caribbean princess- Good luck to you! like she said if it's meant to be it will happen. Are you planning on getting engaged soon and having a longer engagement? just wondering. Make sure that when it happens you share it with us!

 

[Caribbeanprincess]

Caribbean princess- Good luck to you! like she said if it's meant to be it will happen. Are you planning on getting engaged soon and having a longer engagement? just wondering. Make sure that when it happens you share it with us!

I'm hoping for an engament soon, hehe. But it's really up to him, we haven't really discussed marriage plans. I mean, i've mentioned it every once in a while about a wedding in Disney, but that's pretty much it. Though, in the end I might end up being the one asking him to marry me, i'm seriously thinking about it, but I have no idea how to bring up the topic...
If there is an engament though, it would probably be for 2 or 3 years, while he graduates from high school (next year) and gets settled into college. Another problem is that he wants to go to a campus about 3 hours away from my campus, so it would be very hard. I want to ask him to go to my campus, but I don't want to not allow him to go to where he wants to go.

 

[CelticBelle]

i did long distance with my boyfriend last year, during which we got engaged. I didn't think it was a huge problem (we were 4 hours apart), but I don't think I could have lasted much longer than that year. I think it is easier if you have been dating a while before hand, but of course it is different for everyone.

 

[Berlioz70]

Another problem is that he wants to go to a campus about 3 hours away from my campus, so it would be very hard. I want to ask him to go to my campus, but I don't want to not allow him to go to where he wants to go.

That happened with us too - my DH was set on a university (because it was the only one in the state with his program), but not me so much. I did some searching and found a private college only 20 minutes north. We were then able to live together our junior and senior years and I just commuted.

2 years later, we live in the same town as where I'm getting my masters and he commutes 40 minutes to work - kind of worked out in the end!

I wouldn't push him to come to where you are. You'd be surprised, a lot of guys will end up following their gf without you having to nag him, especially if the relationship is serious - which it sounds like yours is!

 

[Caribbeanprincess]

The case with my boyfriend could be solved. It's basically the same college (University of Puerto Rico), just that there are different campus around the island. He could come study to my campus, it's just that the other campus offers a better curriculum on what he wants to study (engineering). But, I don't like the campus, it's known mostly to be a party campus...

Back on topic, hehe, I really want to bring up the topic of potential marriage in the near future, but I don't know how. I was planning at maybe hinting at it in the Valentine's day card i'm giving him...but I don't know how to got about it.

 

[CelticBelle]

wow I was trying to think of ideas for you, but I can't remember how the subject came up with us. It was almsot assumed at a certain point. And by the time our engagement came it wasn't so much as a suprise.

You could slip it into an "I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you...." maybe it would spark a conversation.

 

[Berlioz70]

Back on topic, hehe, I really want to bring up the topic of potential marriage in the near future, but I don't know how. I was planning at maybe hinting at it in the Valentine's day card i'm giving him...but I don't know how to got about it.

We just started talking about once we moved in together. I actually got so impatient waiting for the proposal (after 4+ years) that I set a deadline for him to propose by (he's old fashioned and said he would turn me down if I proposed). He made the deadline with 9 hours to spare - it was hilarious!

Before I set the deadline I would e-mail him pictures of engagement rings that I liked on-line. Nothing like a dead hint there!