Getting irritated....Update #34

[rt2dz]

OK, my DS is having his birthday party soon. We have invited 29 kids. They got their invitations on the 9th. RSVPs are due on the 20th and I've only heard from 4 people!!! I'm going to have to call all these people on the 21st, like I have time for that. I even gave them an email address figuring that mioght be easier for some. I see some of these people regularly picking up & dropping off our kids. How hard is it to say, yes we are coming or no we are not?

My final count isn't due intil the 23rd (gave myself a day to call & a day for them to return calls for those that didn't RSVP), but still. Why are that many people so inconsiderate!? I have to get together goody bags, figure out how much cake, etc. and if only 10 are coming it will be much different than if all 29 come. What ever happened to manners? I hope I get a lot of phone calls this weekend, but I doubt it.

 

[karenTX]

This has happened to me the last 2 baby showers I threw for people. It is so rude!! My SIL said I should have put down "regrets only" instead of RSVP. But would that make a difference on the number of people who call? My other SIL never sends out paper invites...only the things from evite.

 

[Hannathy]

On my calendar it is only the 18th and early at that. to me they sitll have a few days left. I often don't call until the day it says to call by. I read it when I open it and that is the day that stays in my memory. Any parties or programs that I have organized for birthday's, church, scouts, most people don't call till the last day or day before. Take a deep breath and wait a bit longer.

 

[we3disneygo]

:confused 3 while planning different things for dd12 we have come across this lately too.....we used to have big family dinner for her birthday--we got stuck a couple of years with LOT"S of food because people cancelled at the last minute. for the kids, it seems we have to call them to find out ...........

 

[Disney Ella]

The last party we had for the kids, we invited all the girls in both classes (15 or 16 kids). We only heard from a few until the day before the party, when some parents finally called. At one point, we only thought there were going to have three or four kids, but nearly everyone showed up. I don't understand why people just can't let you know in a timely fashion if they're coming or not.

 

[rt2dz]

If I put regrets only, I'd assume people were coming who might not be. People just don't RSVP. I know the date is the 20th, but sooooo many people are out or town with Mardi Gras and President's Day weekend. This happened last year too (only 1/3 the kids are the same, different school & activities this year) and when I called, surprise surprise most were planning on attending so I can't assume no RSVP = no show. It's just annoying. I would probably use e-vite, but I don't have 99% of these parents email addresses.

I just needed to vent. I can't understand what is so hard about calling, emailing, or saying something when they see me.

 

[OhMari]

29 kids wow.

I remember in 6th grade we had the circle of birthday parties. There were probably 15 girls. My mom still talks how she was always buying birthday presents for me to attend these parties. I probably started with my birthday being in September at the start of the school year, so I had to attend.

Could this be the problem? it is still rude though that people don't RSVP.

 

[Ladyhawke10]

I completely understand your plight! I remember when I put on a big party for my son when he turned three...I made it a train theme and bought sandwiches (like the train cars) to put on a track made of licorice that ran around a long table. Because the main fare was gourmet sandwiches, I wanted to find out a head of time what kind of sandwich guests would like. Barely anyone RSVP'd! Then when I'd see my son's preschool friends' parents, I'd bring it up and they'd say yes...well, I remember a lot of them not coming (without calling about it) and then a lot of people showing up that didn't RSVP. That was the last year I tried to plan anything! After that, I decided just to put out a bunch of chips and not worry about it

I'm so sorry to hear this is a common problem. I always RSVP if I get an invite, and feel flattered to receive one in the first place

 

[Stitchfans]

I can totally understand your frustration. This has happened to me too many times. As a matter of fact just this past July for DDs birthday. Sorry. hope you get some phone calls soon.

 

[Amberle3]

I recall a similar thread last year about this same subject - one of the posters then had the brilliant idea of not putting the location or time on the invite and only giving that information out when people RSVP'd.

 

[nwdisgal]

Hang in there! I understand your frustation. The one thing I discovered is a lot of people are last minute. They post it on there refrigerator or something and lose track of it - then at the last minute they remember it and call.

 

[FayeW]

I think the problem was that you gave them too much time to forget about it! You handed out the invitations almost 3 weeks before the party. Around here, we generally would send the invitations to school a week ahead, or sometimes on Monday if the party is the coming weekend. That way the parnents get the invite, and usually phone within a day or two because it's fresh in their minds. I remember on two occasions that my son brought home an invitation on the last day of school for a party at the end of July. It got put on top of the fridge and totally forgotten about until I was searching for something else, and happened to find it the DAY of the party! I called the parents to apologize, and they insisted that I my son was still welcome, but I was very embarrassed.

 

[inaminute]

Another problem for my daughter-in-law is that she doesn't get her work schedule until four days before it starts. It's very difficult for her to make definite plans for anything. It's certainly not a problem that everyone faces, but she honestly wouldn't be able to RSVP until the last minute.

 

[daisyduck123]

This happened to me too....yesterday we had DS7's b-day party...we'd invited just about 30 kids....well I got many last minute calls....& 2 showed up without having ever R.S.V.P.d.

We did end up having about 25 kids (I never even got an actual count...the party was wild). Every mom that did R.S.V.P. gave a yes. We didn't have any say "no".

It turned out I made exactly enough goody-bags...not even one extra...but we did have 3 too many pizzas.

 

[makinorlando]

OK, my DS is having his birthday party soon. We have invited 29 kids. They got their invitations on the 9th. RSVPs are due on the 20th and I've only heard from 4 people!!!

I understand you frustration. It have been amazed while planning past parties how many folks wait until the last minute to RSVP. You try to give people time to get your event "on their calendar", but I guess some folks just don't plan ahead or need to keep their options open, due to scheduling difficulties - jobs, etc! But in a case like that a "maybe" phone could eliminate some of the concern!

I hope everything comes together and you have a great time!!!

I will not host a large children's party again. We have done some small b-day events - Build-A-Bear, and a party at a ceramic studio!

DD opted for a breakfast at 1900 Park Fare for herself and a friend and then the day at Magic Kingdom. (The parents are joining us to which makes me happy!) I told her - no big b-day party = more money for mommy to spend on YOU. This way I don't have to stress over the guest list!

I think we are all so busy with our everyday lives, juggling, homes, kids, jobs in same cases, etc. that we just plain forget! In these days of technology, cell phones, email, etc, we are never far from some form of communication, it should be a simple thing, but regretably it is not!!

 

[MAKmom]

I think most people think RSVP means regrets only. I have also found now that DD are 9 & 11 the kids are just telling my DD's in person if they are coming. Not giving me a RSVP drives me CRAZY. I'm a planner.

 

[mom2boys]

You said the 20th. You have to be patient until then.

What I always found irritating is my not so DSisIL who never RSVPs. She claims "they know I'm coming" . Hello What's the point of asking for an RSVP?

 

[rt2dz]

29 kids wow.

I remember in 6th grade we had the circle of birthday parties. There were probably 15 girls. My mom still talks how she was always buying birthday presents for me to attend these parties. I probably started with my birthday being in September at the start of the school year, so I had to attend.

Could this be the problem? it is still rude though that people don't RSVP.

DS is still little. The invite everyone or no one phase. Every day he comes home with "X is my best friend" and X is always a different name. It doesn't help either that all these parents are always telling me how their child talks nonstop about my DS. Even his teachers tell me they've never seen a child who is literally liked by everyone in his classes. He has his Daddy's Charisma.

We actually tell people no presents. It's right after Christmas and he doesn't need anything. And certainly not another 29 gifts!!

 

[rt2dz]

I think the problem was that you gave them too much time to forget about it! You handed out the invitations almost 3 weeks before the party. Around here, we generally would send the invitations to school a week ahead, or sometimes on Monday if the party is the coming weekend. That way the parnents get the invite, and usually phone within a day or two because it's fresh in their minds. I remember on two occasions that my son brought home an invitation on the last day of school for a party at the end of July. It got put on top of the fridge and totally forgotten about until I was searching for something else, and happened to find it the DAY of the party! I called the parents to apologize, and they insisted that I my son was still welcome, but I was very embarrassed.

They had 10 days, not 3 weeks. If I had waited for Monday with a weekend party, chances are no one would be able to come. The people who do that, don't have anyone attend. It's just not enough time. People are really active around here and need time to schedule it in or not schedule something else in. And since it is 29 kids, I'm certainly not having it at my house. The party center we are having it at needs the RSVP count (they provide themed plates, napkins, cups, drinks and dinner) on the 23rd. That is also when they do the final pricing of the party.

 

[rt2dz]

Still, not one call or email. The only reason it is irritating me so much is that if they hadn't done it by now, very few will by tomorrow. So many people are out of town for this long weekend. I don't have a problem with last minute RSVPs, they do have until the final date, but I expected more than this out of 29 kids. I just know I'm going to be making 20 phone calls. I have to know if they are coming or not because of the place where we are having it at.