Getting a phone for 13 year old young man - any advice?

[SydSim]

Your kid - your rules!!!

Personally, I think it's one of the issues I wouldn't choose to battle about. If I wanted that much control I would just remove the temptation of a cell phone altogether. Parents will never understand teen text usage so why get in the middle of it when for 5 dollars a month you don't have to be involved?

Being annoyed by your teens who text constantly can easily be solved by making some rules about it. I'd rather teach respect for my authority that way - limiting the number of texts doesn't really address the issue of when I do or don't want you as my child to text. I'd approach it a different way.

Still, as I said, your kid, your rules!!

Agreed! But you see, I actually haven't had a battle about texting with DD - because I set these rules before she even started texting. And I also don't need to totally obliterate texting in order to have control over it. And alas, I do understand teen text usage, I just don't agree with it for my 12 year old.

I feel that telling her that continuous texting is rude to people that you are in the presence of is teaching her to respect my authority - while at the same time limiting her usage (which keeps her friends from texting her non-stop as well). And limiting her texts teaches her self control - even in temptation

That being said, I don't plan on limiting her texts forever. She will earn more texts with good grades, etc. and age. I just don't feel that my 12 year old needs unlimited texting. The good thing is that kids don't have to have everything at once - we as parents can adjust things are they age and mature (like watching certain movies or dating).

 

[mjkacmom]

Unlimted texting is a must. My dd13 had a friend who doesn't keep her phone by her at all times, and she ends up missing out on social situations because everything is done via text. I told my dd just to call her at home, and she couldn't figure out how to find out her number (teens do not call on the home phone). What kind of phone does he want? Dd spent her own money to get the Voyager, so she was ticked when ds11 got his for free (buy one get one free, and verizon gave me $200 towards a new phone to renew, so we got them both for free). I like Verizon - they have the best service here, plus we have a real verizon store, with amazing customer service.

 

[debster812]

DS got a phone in the beginning of June for his 12th birthday. He's playing on a summer league soccer team, with a lot of travel and carpooling, and he's also away at a sleepaway soccer camp this week. It made me feel better that he have his own phone.

He is currently on a 200/month texting plan. We're going to keep this plan for 3-4 months, and if he's responsible with it (so far, so good) we'll bump him up to 500/month. Probably will go unlimited within the next year or 18 months.

He also did get a SUPER COOL phone, (LG Vu--pseudo I-phone) which he loves.

 

[mamacatnv]

Back in the day when DS got his first phone texting was not an issue and as it became more popular with each year he grew older we added additional text time. By the time he was 16 we went to unlimited. We have had Verizon now for 6 years and are very happy with them.

DD got her first phone at 10 and it came with unlimited texting since both her brother and I use it but her contacts are blocked and she has very limited access as to who she can call/text. DD's also does not have a camera - we went basic for her and figure with age and responsibility we will add phone features.

I agree that the unlimited texting gives me financial peace of mind. DD rarely uses her phone, its kind of funny but the chatty cathy from her class annoys DD with all her texts and DD rarely responds. DS texts non stop. I might add that he had the keyboard style phone and didn't like it, he prefers the standard key pad and that does not seem to slow him down at all.

We have text rules - not while driving, working, school or dinner time. Other than that they are on their own.

I do carry insurance on the phones - usually because DH loses his once or twice a year. He lost his last week, he had had it for 7 months which is a record for him. DS usually ends up with at least 1 replacement over the 2 year contract but as he has gotten older he has gotten better about it and since we now have an inventory of "old" but very usable phones I just might cancel the insurance.

 

[merrily]

Even if you go with unlimited texting, I recommend that you get a block on premium texting. I had it put on our Verizon account after a few $9.99 texts.

 

[golfgal]

No, it's not $5.99 for just one phone. I've checked. If I'm wrong, someone please set me straight. I checked and the price is $20 for unlimited for the family plan, $5 a month for 250 texts total, $10 month for 500 texts and no limit on Verizon-to-Verizon, and $15 a month for 1500 texts and no limit on Verizon-to-Verizon.

I don't text and don't plan on it. DH has a pre-paid phone because he rarely uses it, and DS won't get his first cell phone until he starts middle school. That leaves only DD as the texter. I could pay $20 per month for her and I to have unlimited texting, or pay $15 a month for her to have 1500 texts and unlimited verizon-to-verizon texts. Once school starts, she'll go back to the $10 per month for 500 texts with unlimited verizon-to-verizon. That saves me $5 or $10 a month depending on what texting plan she's on.

I just checked her usage for this month (which started on July 21st) and so far she's sent 58 and has received 67 non-Verizon texts. For her free Verizon-to-Verizon texts which have no limits, she's sent 212 and has received 243. Most of her friends also have Verizon phones, so those texts don't count towards her limit. That's why I don't pay for unlimited because I'd be wasting money. I know that will change later on, but for now, paying a lesser amount for only the texts she'll use is saving me money.

Even on a family plan you can add unlimited texting to just one phone--at least in our area. We had that for DS17 when he first wanted to be able to text a couple years ago. We didn't have texting on any of the other 4 phones on our plan at that time. To add it to one phone was $5.99/month. When we added the twins to the text plan we moved over to the family unlimited plan for $20/month because we all were going to use the texting feature (which, once you try it you WILL want to use it as it is very convenient). I had no plans to text either until I had to get ahold of DS one day and sent him a text that he was able to send back vs taking a call, which he couldn't at the time. Now I use it for things like " pick up a gallon of milk after school"

 

[IDoDis]

Even on a family plan you can add unlimited texting to just one phone--at least in our area. We had that for DS17 when he first wanted to be able to text a couple years ago. We didn't have texting on any of the other 4 phones on our plan at that time. To add it to one phone was $5.99/month. When we added the twins to the text plan we moved over to the family unlimited plan for $20/month because we all were going to use the texting feature (which, once you try it you WILL want to use it as it is very convenient). I had no plans to text either until I had to get ahold of DS one day and sent him a text that he was able to send back vs taking a call, which he couldn't at the time. Now I use it for things like " pick up a gallon of milk after school"

I called Verizon to check on a $5.99 plan and was told they don't have this plan. Maybe they used to or it's not offered in my area.

 

[debbi801]

We got my 14 yr old DD this phone. Verizon Wireless Blitz and several of her friends have it too. It's an odd shape, more square than rectangular and looks a bit like a gaming device. It has the QERTY keyboard and a camera for taking pictures. She loves it.

We went with unlimited texting for the whole family. Originally, we had a plan that had limited texting, then we went unlimited for just our 16 year old, but decided we might as well all get it. It wasn't much more to have it for the whole family and it is nice being able to text a grocery list, etc.

ETA, we had verizon block the internet and the get it now services from both of our kids' phones.

 

[JoanGirardi]

I agree with getting unlimited texts and blocking the internet. It'll save you lots of headaches. I have three teens right now, and we've had limited texting and it was torture for my oldest son. He always stayed within his limits, but he had many friends who did not understand limits and would text him anyway. He kept getting texts that he couldn't open because he was too near his limit. I've also had many discussions with Verizon over data charges that they put on my bill for sending pictures which is supposed to be free. They would tell me that my children had gone on the internet, but when I told them I wanted to know exactly what they had been doing, it turned out they were just sending pictures. My daughter, when she is shopping, likes to get everyone's opinion on what she's buying, for instance. Blocking internet use ended those charges being added. I've never had a problem with my kids texting when they shouldn't. They know that family time means the phones get put away, and we've never had a problem. As for which phone to use, my kids can choose any free phone offered at the time, or choose to pay whatever the cost is to upgrade to the phone they want. Good luck. The cell phone thing can be stressful, but it can also be fun.

 

[VAN]

What is the purpose for this phone? So you can call him? So he can call you? For a little social time?

My recommendation is NO TEXTING. Also, take a good look at the details of his phone calls. We had a situation where my DD was not getting good grades or was always tired. Checking the phone records - she was on the phone at 1:30 in the morning !!!!! HELLO!!!

Recommendation, don't just give him a phone and say that's-that ... pay attention.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

From first hand experience, make sure you call and have Verizon block, I am not even sure what they call it, I guess a data charge.

What happened to me was my sister fell for one of the stupid Quizzes on Facebook. It asked her to enter her cell number but when she entered hers it wouldn't go through so she entered my number. She did not read the fine print that said $9.99 charge. Turns out I got this charge on my next bill. I called Verizon and explained the situation and they took the charge off my bill and blocked it. Now all joke of the day texts and junk like that will always be blocked. They said they do have problems with that because some kids will play jokes on their friends and enter their friends numbers and their is no verification and the charge will automatically be billed to the phone number.

 

[torinsmom]

Get the Parental Control option if it is available. We have AT&T and I pay $4.95/mo extra for that. I can go online and see more of what he is doing on his phone.

We have internet blocked, which also disables picture messaging on both our phones. I have been charged before for connecting to the internet without knowing it and so was he. I also am uncomfortable with him sending or receiving picture messages with the problems some teens have. He has 250 text messages which seems to be plenty for him right now. I will add more if he starts to use it more. He went over one month and I used Parental Control to see who he was calling. Turns out it was someone in another state he had met on Xbox Live I was able to block the number she was calling/texting from and put a nix to that.

It is scary that kids are growing up so much different than we did. If someone wanted to call me, they had to do it on the family phone and someone was always listening, LOL

Marsha

Marsha

 

[ttfn3]

It's been interesting to read everyone's advice/opinions. We took the plunge last Sunday and got DS a really nice/cool Motorola Rival phone. I also replaced my over 3 year old phone (got a laugh out of the salesperson when they saw my old phone ) with a really cool LG enV3. I was really excited to see the ad that Best Buy has the same phones as Verizon - and they apply the rebate instantly PLUS gave us $30 more off each phone - making DS's free and mine less than $50 - much better than the deal at the Verizon store). Anyways, I blocked all the data stuff on DS phone, put him on our family plan for call minutes, and added texting for his phone and mine which allows unlimited Verizon texting, and 500 texts a month for calls outside Verizon. (DH didn't want to upgrade his phone at this time nor had any use for texting).

So after a few days of texting me, and making a few phone calls, his use of the phone has tapered off. I'm sure it will pick up once school starts and he gets all his friends cell phone numbers.

I've got to say that I am personally enjoying the texting feature!

I'm glad I waited until DS turned 13 to get his phone. He seems to appreciate his phone more, and is very willing to go by some of our rules of use. So far, so good, though he knows we will be watching his use