Gender Reveal Gift?

[Imzadi]

Not sure why people are so excited about the baby having a ***** or ******?

ETA - since neither word for genitals passed the G rating here, I'll just say I don't understand the need for "gender" reveal?

Apparently, the DIS censor doesn't care for gender reveals either.

 

[tzolkin]

I think parents would care what their newborns genitalia is so that they know what sex their child is, this way they can dress and raise the child accordingly.

Based on your posts, I think you're really looking for some political angle or agenda in everyone's posts. I never said that parents would go their whole lives not knowing what genitalia their child had. And I said nothing about social norms of dressing.

What I said was, why do parents care whether they are having a boy or a girl-- and be excited or disappointed with one or the other? You can know the information (that baby is male or female), but not feel strongly enough about that detail to feel the need to have a party to reveal the information to others. To me, it did not matter at all whether my babies were going to be girls or boys. I was excited to have a child regardless of the sex/gender.

And then to expect other people to care. Like "Leave your house, come to a spot where we will announce to you the gender of our baby". I don't understand it.

Yes, it's bizarre to me. I didn't care what the gender of my own children was and I care even less when it's someone else's baby. (Of course, I don't tell them that.)

What a horrible man.

My husband has assisted with a handful of c-sections over the years and more than once has witnessed the father throw a fit, swear, and stomp out of the OR because the baby was a girl.

 

[mrodgers]

My husband has assisted with a handful of c-sections over the years and more than once has witnessed the father throw a fit, swear, and stomp out of the OR because the baby was a girl.

I didn't throw a fit or swear, but I did cry with tears streaming out of my eyes. Was of course for the exact opposite feelings you depict about those fathers.

 

[TLSnell1981]

My experience...gender reveals are usually for family and/or close friends. It's a joyful event. Normally a small thoughtful gift is appropriate.

 

[low-key]

I cant go, i am washing my hair that day

 

[Cheburashka]

My daughter's girlfriend is having a Gender Reveal Party at a local park in a few weeks.
We've never been to one, but have attended lots of baby showers.

Do you bring a gift to the party?
I'm guessing its pretty informal with no printed invitation.

No gifts. Those are for showers.

 

[Cheburashka]

What I said was, why do parents care whether they are having a boy or a girl-- and be excited or disappointed with one or the other?

I think it's okay for parents to have a mild preference, simply because some do and there's nothing wrong with a preference as long as you're not pinning your hopes on it and it won't affect your feelings toward the child either way. That preference should never be openly expressed, though, as it could be hurtful to the future child.

When I was pregnant I wanted a boy, and looking back I think a lot of factors went into that. I had already had a lot of bad experiences that are specific to females, and I didn't want a daughter to have to go through the same things. My mother had always favored my sister, so I didn't grow up with the experience of a very strong mother daughter bond. Plus, as an elementary teacher who was surrounded by women all the time, & who had few male relatives in her life, I welcomed having a male son just for a bit of variety. I did have a boy, too. But if I'd had a girl I would have loved her just the same, and I never told anyone I was hoping for a boy. I now have two nieces who I adore.

I'm the second daughter in the family and I've seen the picture of my father holding me in the hospital after I was born. He does not look pleased. Not impressed with those who take it that seriously, but like I said, if it's just a mild preference, that's nothing wrong or unusual.

 

[DisneyDillyDally]

Honestly, if you’ve got the money to take a little baby neutral outfit, why not? In this world, there’s really not many things better to celebrate than a new baby. Hopefully the new parents don’t have a reveal planned that will maim, kill, or hurt the planet.

 

[GoingSince1990]

Honestly, if you’ve got the money to take a little baby neutral outfit, why not? In this world, there’s really not many things better to celebrate than a new baby. Hopefully the new parents don’t have a reveal planned that will maim, kill, or hurt the planet.

Indeed. The only thing worse than a gender reveal party is a gender reveal party that results in a few people being killed and a few thousand acres of forest being burned to a cinder.

 

[ozliz]

What a horrible man.

Our feelings are what they are, I expect this man did what he could to mask them but was very unsuccessful. One of my friends who had a boy first really wanted a girl as a second. She made sure to find out the sex in advance so that, if it was a boy (it was) she wouldn’t have any feelings of disappointment on the day of the birth. She loves this child as much as any other but the fact she would have liked a daughter too isn’t something that can be changed. I agree that, if the father had a strong feeling either way, then finding out the sex so publicly wasn’t a good plan. That moment of disappointment should have been private and then he could move on and be excited about the birth and love his child just as any parent does.

 

[LadyBeBop]

I have no problems with gender-reveal parties. As long as they’re done tastefully and does not result in injury or destruction. Any good excuse for excuse for a party.

No gifts. That’s for the shower. Which will be easier to buy gifts for, since you already know the gender.

 

[Karin1984]

As it is your daughter's girlfriend, I assume this is going to be your grand child? I do think the decision can be different depending on the relationship with the couple. If you want to bring something, bring something small. A pair of baby socks or similar size. I wouldn't go all out for something expensive or personalized.


These discussions remind me of the episode of Sex and the City, where Carrie has to go to a baby shower. She has to take off her shoes at the door, and someone takes her very expensive Manolo Blahniks. She wants the host to refund her the money. The host thinks it's stupid to spend so much money on shoes and doesn't want to refund the full amount

Quote: Over the years, I have bought Kyra an engagement gift, a wedding gift, then there was the trip to Maine for the wedding, three baby gifts. In total, I have spent over 23,000 dollars celebrating her choices.
It ends with Carrie sending the host a message that she is getting married to herself and is registered at Manolo Blahnik.

It can get out of hand quickly ;-)

 

[ronandannette]

Our feelings are what they are, I expect this man did what he could to mask them but was very unsuccessful. One of my friends who had a boy first really wanted a girl as a second. She made sure to find out the sex in advance so that, if it was a boy (it was) she wouldn’t have any feelings of disappointment on the day of the birth. She loves this child as much as any other but the fact she would have liked a daughter too isn’t something that can be changed. I agree that, if the father had a strong feeling either way, then finding out the sex so publicly wasn’t a good plan. That moment of disappointment should have been private and then he could move on and be excited about the birth and love his child just as any parent does.

This was us exactly, except with DH already having two much-loved daughters, we really hoped our only child would be a son. Sorry - not sorry.

 

[ronandannette]

As it is your daughter's girlfriend, I assume this is going to be your grand child? I do think the decision can be different depending on the relationship with the couple. If you want to bring something, bring something small. A pair of baby socks or similar size. I wouldn't go all out for something expensive or personalized.


These discussions remind me of the episode of Sex and the City, where Carrie has to go to a baby shower. She has to take off her shoes at the door, and someone takes her very expensive Manolo Blahniks. She wants the host to refund her the money. The host thinks it's stupid to spend so much money on shoes and doesn't want to refund the full amount

Quote: Over the years, I have bought Kyra an engagement gift, a wedding gift, then there was the trip to Maine for the wedding, three baby gifts. In total, I have spent over 23,000 dollars celebrating her choices.
It ends with Carrie sending the host a message that she is getting married to herself and is registered at Manolo Blahnik.

It can get out of hand quickly ;-)

Pretty sure the use of the term “girlfriend” here is in the platonic sense - a female friend of the OP’s daughter. It’s only ever used that way between girls/women and perhaps it’s a little hazy in the translation.

 

[Pink Partridge]

Pretty sure the use of the term “girlfriend” here is in the platonic sense - a female friend of the OP’s daughter. It’s only ever used that way between girls/women and perhaps it’s a little hazy in the translation.

I call all of my friends that are girls my "girlfriend". It really does confuse the younger generation

 

[scrapquitler]

My daughter's girlfriend is having a Gender Reveal Party at a local park in a few weeks.
We've never been to one, but have attended lots of baby showers.

Do you bring a gift to the party?
I'm guessing its pretty informal with no printed invitation.

I wouldn't bring a gift.

 

[Julie's Haircut]

I don't understand those guys who get upset or even PO'd when their wives/GFs have a daughter. Yo, bozo, YOU are the one who failed to make a boy. Not man enough to take the blame, huh???

I'm not a father but I have two step-daughters. I was kind of relieved when I started going with their mother. I didn't relish the idea of being coerced into tossing a football around with a boy. I had much more fun doing silly crazy tween/teen dances with the girls.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I can only imagine if I had a gender reveal party 23 years ago when I was expecting my second child. The tech at my 18-week ultrasound ended up being wrong and said I was having a girl (our older child is a boy). Apparently, boy parts sometimes aren't visible until up to 30 weeks, especially with the ultrasound technology they used at the time. I found out at 37 weeks that I was actually having a boy. If I had had a party, I supposed we could have quickly reassembled everyone and exploded a blue bomb or cut into a blue cake. Instead, we just quietly informed family and friends, chose a new name, picked out a new birth announcement, and shifted our thinking to welcoming a boy. Quite frankly, I love having two boys and can't imagine life without my surprise son! I told him the story a few years ago and he thinks it's hilarious. He apologized for not cooperating during the first ultrasound.

 

[QueenIsabella]

I can only imagine if I had a gender reveal party 23 years ago when I was expecting my second child. The tech at my 18-week ultrasound ended up being wrong and said I was having a girl (our older child is a boy). Apparently, boy parts sometimes aren't visible until up to 30 weeks, especially with the ultrasound technology they used at the time. I found out at 37 weeks that I was actually having a boy. If I had had a party, I supposed we could have quickly reassembled everyone and exploded a blue bomb or cut into a blue cake. Instead, we just quietly informed family and friends, chose a new name, picked out a new birth announcement, and shifted our thinking to welcoming a boy. Quite frankly, I love having two boys and can't imagine life without my surprise son! I told him the story a few years ago and he thinks it's hilarious. He apologized for not cooperating during the first ultrasound.

My older son had his gender reveal at birth, because his umbilical cord was between his legs. He still jokes about how he was flipping us off in utero, when we tried to take a peek. I had wanted a second girl, because I loved the one I had--DH and DMIL were both insisting on a boy. I really didn't have a preference, it was more like, Your Mom wants, you, at least, Little Girl!" And I had such a mindset of a girl that i was surprised, those first few dozen diaper changes.

 

[lockets]

I'm surprised at how many posters say "no gift" - I can't imagine showing up to a party that's celebrating a new child and likely serving me some food/drink I'm arriving empty-handed?

My understanding is a lot of people that have gender reveals do not have baby showers. Some do. But I think a lot of gender reveals are in place of that. Whether or not one agrees with the idea of the gender reveal in the first place, I think if one does attend, it calls for a gift and it's not difficult to bring a simple gender-neutral gift. Anything from diapers to books to clothing.

On a related note, if no gift is, in reality, the attendee's way of (passive aggressively?) asserting that they think gender reveals are stupid, or they don't support the idea and want to assert some snarkiness in there - then best not to attend? They may look bad to you for having a gender reveal, but how bad does it look to show up to an expectant couple's party with nothing?

Edited to add: I found a survey on this and it says only 2% have a gender reveal only so I stand corrected on that. On the other hand it says only 25% of couples have a gender reveal followed by a seperate baby shower these days. Bottom line I guess it's on the couple to communicate appropriately so people don't expect to attend a bridal shower that never happens. I put the survey results on my follow up post on page 4 if anyone wants more stats.