Gay Family Disers?

[TinkerChelle]

Just curious if there are any pregnant lesbians out there right now or are you trying? My partner and I are currently trying to get pregnant. What a roller coaster ride. Love to swap and share stories with any gay families out there. How did you create your family? There are so many options.

I am 36 and my partner is 30 and my biological clock started SCREAMING at me. So, we decided to go with AI with an unknown "yes" donor. This is our first official month of "trying." But, we have actively been searching for the right donor, charting and getting infertility tests done since January of this year. Crossing fingers and praying.

 

[lillielil]

Count me in as soon as we move out of the tiny apartment and start living like grownups...

And here's a question - what are you going to have your kids call you? Part of me kind of wants to be a Dad (because I love irony), but DW thinks that would be far too confusing for the little bugger.

 

[mickeyfan1]

I just want to wish you the best f luck. A wanted child is the best!

Lillielil, just think, your child can introduce you as "This is my mom "Dad" and this is my mom "Mom"! Not everyone calls thier parent's mom and dad or mommy and daddy, or what ever. In my family, we called our father Arch, because he called us all by nick names.

 

[R Dog Walt]

Just curious if there are any pregnant lesbians out there right now or are you trying? My partner and I are currently trying to get pregnant. What a roller coaster ride. Love to swap and share stories with any gay families out there. How did you create your family? There are so many options.

I am 36 and my partner is 30 and my biological clock started SCREAMING at me. So, we decided to go with AI with an unknown "yes" donor. This is our first official month of "trying." But, we have actively been searching for the right donor, charting and getting infertility tests done since January of this year. Crossing fingers and praying.

Hear you about the biological clock. I wasn't sure I even wanted to have kids until mine started blaring at age 29. Now a family is what I want more than anything!!!!

I hope your road to a child is much easier than ours. Talk about roller coaster ride. It turns out that age 31 I have eggs that will never produce a child. My DP (34) has a blocked tube and high FSH (meaning she's got old eggs!). Uggh! We've been through 9 months of trying on our own (picking up the tank and turkey basting- with a syringe), 6 IUIs with injectable medications, and an IVF that had no viable embryos. So next month is our frozen embryo transfer with donated embryos. My uterus is in good shape, and hopefully in a month or so I'll be knocked up!

As for names, I think we're going to let our kid decide what to call us when they start talking.

Good luck all!

 

[TinkerChelle]

Count me in as soon as we move out of the tiny apartment and start living like grownups...

And here's a question - what are you going to have your kids call you? Part of me kind of wants to be a Dad (because I love irony), but DW thinks that would be far too confusing for the little bugger.

Thanks for the reply! I am going to be Ima (mom or mother in yiddish, I believe) and my DP will be Mommy. I agree that Dad is probably a bad idea, maybe not so confusing to your own child, but it certainly would be to their friends and/or teachers. JMO!

 

[TinkerChelle]

Hear you about the biological clock. I wasn't sure I even wanted to have kids until mine started blaring at age 29. Now a family is what I want more than anything!!!!

I hope your road to a child is much easier than ours. Talk about roller coaster ride. It turns out that age 31 I have eggs that will never produce a child. My DP (34) has a blocked tube and high FSH (meaning she's got old eggs!). Uggh! We've been through 9 months of trying on our own (picking up the tank and turkey basting- with a syringe), 6 IUIs with injectable medications, and an IVF that had no viable embryos. So next month is our frozen embryo transfer with donated embryos. My uterus is in good shape, and hopefully in a month or so I'll be knocked up!

As for names, I think we're going to let our kid decide what to call us when they start talking.

Good luck all!

Hope you get knocked up soon! Good Luck! How did you survive so many tries? Emotionally I don't think I could have handled your journey. What a courageous couple!

 

[lillielil]

Hope you get knocked up soon! Good Luck! How did you survive so many tries? Emotionally I don't think I could have handled your journey. What a courageous couple!

We're planning on celebrating each non-pregnancy by doing shots.

 

[R Dog Walt]

Hope you get knocked up soon! Good Luck! How did you survive so many tries? Emotionally I don't think I could have handled your journey. What a courageous couple!

I don't know that we're so courageous. Right now we just don't have a lot of options. And I'm bordering on being bitter. Brittany Spears has had 2 babies in the time we've been trying! Ultimately, if this doesn't work we'll probably try to adopt, but we live in a "red state" where this may be difficult.

I wish you good luck! Are you doing injectables or Clomid with your IUIs or are you trying natural ones?

lillielil- Ha Ha Ha! I could TOTALLY deal with this type of shot!

 

[Viki]

Been there, done that. Three rounds of "artificial" insemination, 20-some years ago, complete with the choice of multiple bios, and no baby.

It took a lot more effort, and many, many tears, but ultimately we adopted - twice - and it was a good thing.

Still, all the very best and I sure do remember the monthly ride. This is probably way beyond the pale, but monthly I would call a women who was an "expert" in these matters and ask about the the most intimate details of biology, "Could this be a positive sign?"

Of course, these days the test are much quicker, much more sensitive.

 

[GurGie]

I hope it works soon for you. I have a good friend who had good results with accupuncture

We have 2 girls, but it seems like the attemts (and the tears) were not very long ago.

 

[dee1843]

We tried for 3 years and lots of IUI's and 1 failed invetro. It took 2 surgeries and 1 last try and now we have a 4 yr old boy we feel very fortunate to have had. It is a hard road for some, just keep your goal in mind and be realistic about your expectations. Good luck!

Deanna

 

[TinkerChelle]

Thanks for all the "good lucks" everybody! This was our first month trying (AF came yesterday!yuck!)

No clomid or injections here. We are trying at home inseminations with ICI "yes" donor sperm. We plan to try again next month same way. If needed the 3rd try will be in office IUI. My family history is that all our woman are very fertile! My aunt got pregnant 3 times on the pill. My mom got pregnant with me on her first try! I am 36 and my partner is 30. She wouldn't even consider trying to get pregnant. She wants children desperately but is too masculine identified to consider a pregnancy herself. I am not really worried yet we just tried one month! I just hate all the charting....it is exhausting!

 

[OKW Lover]

We tried for 3 years and lots of IUI's and 1 failed invetro. It took 2 surgeries and 1 last try and now we have a 4 yr old boy we feel very fortunate to have had. It is a hard road for some, just keep your goal in mind and be realistic about your expectations. Good luck!

Deanna

Deanna, It was all well worth it.

Jeff - the proud grandpa!

 

[watersbland]

We have agreed that we want to start trying within the next year or so. My partner is 27 and I am 26 and even after saying for years that she would rather let me try to have our children she now wants to try. I guess she heard that little clock ticking too. So, we are going to let her try first and hopefully later on I will do the same. Honestly it's nice to talk about but we really have no idea where to start here locally as far as a good doctor. I worry that we'll go into the doctor's office together and be rejected because we're lesbians trying to have a child to raise together. Did you all find a doctor and have them recommend a good fertility bank and do some work ups on you? Or can you really just go online, order sperm and bring it home and do it like Ellen and Sharon Stone in If These Walls Could Talk 2??? I have so many questions but can't even fathom researching any of that until we're done with this wedding in September. That is enough on the plate for both of us at that moment. Anyway, I wish the best of luck to those of you actively trying right now. I know any of your babies would be loved because they are so very wanted.

 

[bubie2.5]

We’re planning to start trying in January 2008, after deciding where will our permanent home will be… right now we’re thinking Canada! My partner is from Europe and has no US resident status, so right now we’re living in the middle of the Caribbean (but that's a whole other story). For now we’re content with visiting the doctor and getting us, specially me, in shape, as I’ll be the one carrying the child.

 

[easleygrls]

we really have no idea where to start here locally as far as a good doctor.

You can start with couples you know that have kids or are in the process. If you don't have any friends that can give you ideas, contact some of the GLBT groups in your area and see if they can recommend a Dr or maybe put you in contact with a person/couple that is willing to share. You can get on the web and find sperm banks, and many of them let you search the donor banks for free for just preliminary looking. We used one in VA and have friends that used some in CA, but I'm sure there are lots more options in the 10 years that have passed since we started the ball rolling.

 

[TinkerChelle]

We have agreed that we want to start trying within the next year or so. My partner is 27 and I am 26 and even after saying for years that she would rather let me try to have our children she now wants to try. I guess she heard that little clock ticking too. So, we are going to let her try first and hopefully later on I will do the same. Honestly it's nice to talk about but we really have no idea where to start here locally as far as a good doctor. I worry that we'll go into the doctor's office together and be rejected because we're lesbians trying to have a child to raise together. Did you all find a doctor and have them recommend a good fertility bank and do some work ups on you? Or can you really just go online, order sperm and bring it home and do it like Ellen and Sharon Stone in If These Walls Could Talk 2??? I have so many questions but can't even fathom researching any of that until we're done with this wedding in September. That is enough on the plate for both of us at that moment. Anyway, I wish the best of luck to those of you actively trying right now. I know any of your babies would be loved because they are so very wanted.

We just went to our regular doctor and he did all the pre-testing and signed the authorization for the sperm bank. We are using PRS in San Francisco. They had the most "yes" donors to choose from. They ship the sperm to us overnight mail. I wonder if the FedEx guy knows what is in the shipment? If I don't get pregnant in during my next two cycles we will switch from at home inseminations (ICI) and go to the doctor and he will do the inseminations (IUI). I have a great book that was really helpful. It is at home and I am at work, so I will post the name of book later.

BTW, try to breathe and enjoy the wedding process. I remember how stressful it is, but it will be over in a blink of an eye! Good luck and enjoy your honeymoon, too!

 

[R Dog Walt]

Did you all find a doctor and have them recommend a good fertility bank and do some work ups on you? Or can you really just go online, order sperm and bring it home and do it like Ellen and Sharon Stone in If These Walls Could Talk 2???

Yes! I love that movie! We started at an RE's office (reproductive endocrinologist- or fertility specialist you could say). Since I was only 29 at the time and my initial tests came back great, he suggested trying on our own before going through more invasive treatment.

So we used a local cryobank, picked up the tank each month when I got a positive OPK, and brought it home to inseminate. (DP always seatbelted the tank in and took it by the park- LOL). We tried this for 9 months before moving to IUIs with injectables at the RE's office. Turns out later on I found out I had crappy eggs despite perfect test results.

So anyway it is possible. My doctor has been nothing but respectful to us throughout this whole process. We've ended up having to use donor embryos and he offered this option to us just as though we were a hetero couple.

I would suggest doing some initial testing. My tests were all covered under insurance (any kind of treatment isn't- but diagnositics are). You probably need an FSH test and maybe estrogen and progesterone.

Good luck!

 

[watersbland]

I appreciate all your answers. It's nice to talk to other couples out there who are in the process of trying right now. I am sure when we get to that point I will have many more posts with many more questions. It's also comforting to know that there are those of you who have tried in the privacy of your own home. We will do whatever we have to of course but that option sounds wonderful to us. And thanks for the kind words regarding the wedding. Everything is kind of snowballing now and I know it won't be long. I am so looking forward to the honeymoon at Disney. This board keeps me sane!