GAC HC seating areas & odd incident at MVMCP

[kaytieeldr]

WE had a problem with a CM this weekend with MJ. WEnt up to ask if MJ could wait to the side to see a character. Explained she's autistic and Bonny showed her the GAC. She reluctantly allowed it after stating her grandson is autistic too and can wait in line for 45 minutes like everyone else. Uncalled for.

That's ridiculous! This isn't a one size fits all world, and we all know that two poeple with the same issue/disability would NOT necessarily need the same accomodation!

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Lives4Disney, I'm sure my mother had the same thoughts when I was injured. To date, I graduated high school with honors, got my psych degree in 3 1/2 years, and am happily married. Don't underestimate the future

 

[Talking Hands]

People make assumptions that legally blind means no sight.

Have this happen everytime my friend and I go out. She is deaf-blind but is not completely sightless so still used sign language and not tactile sign yet. Really makes people confused. She needs close seating and sometimes I have to describe what is happening in sign language.
Can't tell you the number of times people try to tell us we can't bring her guide dog with us into a place. Were she goes, her dog goes, even into the recovery room after her son had surgery. And her interpreter advocated for her when it was questioned. I was just support.

 

[emilee&tylersmom]

Lives4disney-I too am heartsick over Emilee losing her central vision at 9 year old. I do believe that I am having a harder time adjusting to her vision loss than she is. I guess that is just what we do as mothers. We worry about everything, especially the future. Your daughter deserved the front row at the Christmas show. I hope she enjoyed it!!!!! I would like to tell you about a conversation I had with my daughter about a month ago. We were shopping at the mall and Emilee said "Mom do you ever think there will be a cure for Cone Dystrophy?" Tears immediately came to my eyes. I told her they were working on one and hopefully in the future there would be one. She then said "Well if I'm 80 years old I'm not getting my eyes fixed!" I told her okay but what it you were 25? She thought and thought and finally said "No, I don't need to have my eyes fixed, I'm happy just the way I am". Boy did I cry, right there in the middle of the department store. I then realized that I have more of an issue with this disability then she does. I cry over it every day and she probably does not even think about it. You are a great mother and your daughter will grow up to be a wonderful lady. You and I are in the same boat-trying to adjust to adjust to something we thought could never happen to our family. Merry Christmas. I will be thinking of your family over the holidays.

 

[Nanajo1]

Ray, I hope my OP didn't sound like I was taking advantage of my daughter's vision disability. I am heartsick over it. I couldn't have cared less to see that show, but last year I saw it from standing in the back with my family and because my daughter has a cane, people thought it didn't matter if they stood directly in front of her and no matter where we shifted to, she didn't get to see the show. That is why we got the GAC for HER to sit near the stage and see what she could. She LOVES those musical kind of shows. I only watched it in order to whisper what was happening in her ear. The reason I told her to "Open your white cane" was because the bickering from that family was making me VERY uncomfortable and I felt like crying. I thought it was escalating into real nastiness. I thought maybe if they saw that she NEEDS to be in that front row they would zip it.

I would NEVER take advantage of her being blind. The thought of it makes me ill. We usually have her do everything possible just like a normal child/family would - no accomodations if not absolutely necessary. I am embarrassed to ask for any help. I would never think to use her disability to my advantage.

So.... RAY, If your snarky comment WAS directed at me - on the advice of somebody who knows - "Put a sock in it." You know NOTHING.

Lives4Disney

I didn't read Ray's comment to be directed to you. I thought he was commenting on the folks who give you a bad time. I maybe wrong.
I think you handled the situation with grace.
As an adult I have had comments made towards me. I can not imagine a child be subjected to such behavior.
One of my wishes for the Holidays is that folks' hearts and minds get opened so that they can appreciate others' challenges.
Happy Holidays to all.

 

[SueM in MN]

I didn't read Ray's comment to be directed to you. I thought he was commenting on the folks who give you a bad time. I maybe wrong.
I think you handled the situation with grace.
As an adult I have had comments made towards me. I can not imagine a child be subjected to such behavior.
One of my wishes for the Holidays is that folks' hearts and minds get opened so that they can appreciate others' challenges.
Happy Holidays to all.

That was what I thought too.
I probably would have handled the situation the same way you did (just quietly do something to make the disability more visible).

AND, Nanajo, I like your Holiday wish.

 

[Haley Whippet]

Dear Lives4Disney
I just want to say "Bless You and your daughter"
I hope this rude family didn't upset her magical trip to Disney..
Deb

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

Lives4Disney - I just wanted to send you a hug.
I have great respect for the parents of kids with disabilities. I get angry when fighting for my HC DH's rights and he's old enough to fight his own battles (even though I have a bigger mouth ). I could not imagine the boiling rage I would feel having the same fights for my child.

I really think the people that make the horrible comments about the HC and their so called sense of entitlement (better parking, seating, etc.) should have to go to an Abilities Expo. Not sure if everyone has been to one of these but we have one in NJ in April. It is a big show with all the new products, vans, chairs, bikes, personal products, etc. This past April, right before we went, I was upset that I couldn't buy my DD a My Little Pony bike because they didn't make them in the size she needed. While waiting in line to go into the Expo, there was a family in front of us with a very young child using a walker. The mom turned to her DD and said "Aren't you excited, we're buying you your first bike!" I was so ashamed of my petty little thoughts over a MLP bike, that I just burst into tears and had to step outside. It put things totally into perspective. The family was so happy to be buying this bike, they weren't feeling sorry for themselves. But me, with a wonderfully healthy child wanted more. We saw the family later and the little girl was so excited to be peddling around. It brought happy tears to my eyes.

 

[Lives4Disney]

THANKS to everyone for the replies!! MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

I am learning so much about having a HC family member. I have always been an empathetic person and always taught my kids to be, also. I think we all need to step back before judging anybody and think about how it would feel to "walk in their shoes". I am finding more and more that everybody has "something".

Emilee&Tyerlersmom - Hi!! THANKS so much for the sweet reply. Have a great Xmas!!

Eyeore's the Best - Eyeore just happens to be my daughters fave!! Thanks for your kind words.

Haley Whippet - Thanks for the sweet reply. I won't let anything ruin a WDW trip!!! That is my favorite place!!! Cute pic!!

We also ran into several people that couldn't have been kinder, offering us seats, etc. We declined, but it filled my heart that there are such kind people out there. We really ran the gammit this trip - from ignorant to super sweet and thoughtful people. They are out there!!

Sue & Nanajo - I really thought Ray was commenting on my use of my daughter having that cane in order to justify sitting up front. Maybe I am wrong, but since he highlighted my post and my daughter was the only child mentioned.....Oh well. I am over it. People can think what they want. I know myself & the truth of who I am. Thanks for the responses & Sue I hope your daughter is doing better!!

Have a great holiday, everyone!!!

Lives4Disney

 

[Cheshire Figment]

Today anyone coming through my gate at Epcot in either a wc or ECV I told that since we are so crowded today drag racing was not permitted. I made sure to give them a laugh to start their day. I also told several people about DisBoards and disABILTIES!

 

[SueM in MN]

 

[RaySharpton]

I didn't read Ray's comment to be directed to you. I thought he was commenting on the folks who give you a bad time.

I can not imagine a child be subjected to such behavior.

Thank you Nanajo1.

I appreciate you standing up for me.

If anyone would take the time to read any of my posts or threads, I have always tried to give back as much as I have received from the Disability Board and all of the other boards.

I can't tell you how many people helped me with my new mobility scooter, and I tried to post my experiences using a mobility scooter rented at the Walt Disney World parks. And then renting from an outside agency. And finally buying my very own mobility scooter with the help of many here on this very helpful, informational disability forum.

I love parades like Spectromagic Parade in Magic Kingdom, and I will park very early in different spots along the route where I think that I won't be in someone else's view if they are behind me.

I really like to have some family come by as the parade is coming by and offering to let them sit in front of me. I assume many families have never been to Walt Disney World or have not heard of helpful Disney tips. I tell them that I can just back my scooter back to give the children and adults a place to sit.

Sometimes someone taps me on the shoulder and asks me if their child could stand or sit in front of me in my mobility scooter. I love to say sure, and if there is more room I ask if any other children would like to come forward.

The parents are always so appreciative afterwards and their children always say thankyou with a shy grin.

But there are also children of mind not based on age. Men or woman of any age that may have not be able to communicate, but can smile and laugh and enjoy the magic of a parade. These are children of heart, too. I have loved to offer my spot for their wheelchair if everyone would help me back up my mobility scooter out of the way. And everyone around me has always be so gracious to let me back out of the way so the other family could have my spot.

So I thank you for standing up for me, Nanojo1, even though we have never met.

I have met many great DISers here on the Disney Information Station over the years.

I have been very lucky to continue to have such great friends and meet them many times at Walt Disney World and DIS Meets such as Towncrier, and WebmasterKathy, and KristaTX and her dear mother who I can never remember her name, and Dan Murphy, TLindon16, the JellyRolls lady, and Goof4Tink, NancyIL, and many new DISers and others that I just can't remember their names at the moment.


I try to answer questions for those that request an answer here and other forums, but only within my personal experiences and knowledge.

I also try to respond to those who request prayers and good thoughts for themselves or family members or friends.

I saw the original poster's post and the personal message last Friday before I headed into work.

I was shocked. I have never been accused and been called so many rude, derogatory names in my life. Not even from a stranger.

I will always visit the DIS, and always look for new information on all the DIS boards. I always learn something new from all of the forums.

But I am going to have to stop posting here for a while. It has just become a bit to angry or different. I just don't feel like feeling uncomfortable.

I worked Friday night caring for the smallest angels and their new mothers and fathers.

When I had a break at work Friday, I thought about the responses and pm the original poster made. And sadly returned to work.

Some parents were first time parents and delivered a very healthy, term child.

Some parents were first time parents and delivered a very premature, sick child requiring all of these tubes entering their small little bodies to help support their life.

The mom is rolled in to see her little angel several hours later,...and you can see the tears and shock and fear and sadness in her eyes and face.

This was definitely not what they had pictured seeing their first child surrounded by all these alarms, blinking lights, machines everywhere... tubes entering her dear angel's skin, and mouth.

Tubes that breath for her angel and machines with tubes that deliver medicine and nutrition to this very small twenty five week newborn.

Then I worked Christmas Eve night and Christmas Day night. A lot of mothers and fathers that are nurses and respiratory therapists and other healthcare persons worried about not being home with their own infant, or toddler, and family and loved ones. A lot of deliveries. A lot of very sick newborns. A lot of very worried parents, grandparents, siblings, and family members.

And then again I think of this response post and pm by the original poster.

I have found a new place to visit.

I like to visit a lot of Disney websites, and the DIS was my first disney board, but I met a bunch of new friends at Walt Disney World this month, and I will be spending some time with them.

And I will always look forward to the annual DIS/MouseFest Magic Kingdom Cinderella's Golden Carousell Meet every December with all of my DIS friends that I have known for years and anew.

I will make one more post here on the disability board, but I will only use quotes.

Sadly, and Sincerely, Ray

 

[RaySharpton]

My response to original poster is only by using her quotes and my quotes.

I was just reading the thread about the HC parking spots and people that need them but don't look obviously handicapped & how they sometimes get nasty stares from others. It reminded me of a very disquieting incident we had in the HC seating area during the Christmas party in the "Night Before Christmas" show....

...The three of us sat on one of the little side benches -perfect for 3 people. We were there about 10 minutes waiting for the show to start and the place was really filling up. All of a sudden there is this ornery extended family group of about 10 people right behind me, trying to sit in the 2nd row of the HC section. A CM came and told them it was reserved for HC seating. They argued and fussed with her and wanted to talk to her supervisor. He came over and they argued loudly with him. The whole time, they were right at my shoulder.....well, then they start in on "Why do THEY (us) get to sit there? They aren't in a wheel chair?!!?" It was getting obnoxious....

I am just sad that some people are so ignorant & judgemental and thoughtless about others.

Lives4Disney

This just makes me so sad. Disney is for childen of all ages, and not for adults trying to take advantage of children.

I am so sorry that this behavior has to be experienced by anyone, but mostly children.

Sincerely, Ray

... RAY, If your snarky comment WAS directed at me - on the advice of somebody who knows - "Put a sock in it."

... RAY, You know NOTHING.

RaySharpton- I just wanted to PM you and let you know that I was VERY offended by your reply to my post.

RaySharpton- ...you may be one of the judgemental...

RaySharpton- ...narrow minded people I originally posted about....

RaySharpton- ...Sorry to you. That is unfortunate for ya...

RaySharpton- ...To my mind, we needed to be close to the stage more than anybody in a wheelchair...

RaySharpton- ...I am only explaining things to you so that you may feel some remorse about what you seemed to accuse me of....

RaySharpton- ...That is pathetic and cruel....

RaySharpton- ...Maybe you don't have the capability of understanding that....

RaySharpton- ...Have a great holiday. Know that you really brought some extra sorrow into mine.

...I have always been an empathetic person...

...I have always been an empathetic person...

...I have always been an empathetic person...

...I have always been an empathetic person...

I think we all need to step back before judging anybody and think about how it would feel to "walk in their shoes".

Have a great holiday, everyone!!!

Lives4Disney

 

[SueM in MN]

I am very sorry that you have been hurt, Ray.
You have always been a kind influence on the boards and I did not take your first response to the OP in any negative way. Obviously, the OP did not see what I saw when I read it.

One of the things that sometimes happens on boards like this is that the message gets lost in the words that are typed on the page.
The words may seem clear (and not controversial) to the person who is typing them because they know what their intent was.
But without the other cues that come with a face to face communication, those words may have a very different meaning to the reader. Sometimes people are very quick to post something negative (with pretty clear meaning) to something that was not intended to be taken in a negative way (which is what happened in this situation).

I'm sorry that as I read what was posted in this thread, that I didn't make myself more clear in what I posted on 12/22. Thanks to Nanajo for laying it all out more clearly.

 

[Talking Hands]

Ray, I am so sorry you have been hurt by this. You have always been helpful and I have enjoyed your posts. PLease don't let this unpleasantness keep you away.

 

[BCV23]

Ray, I'm sorry you've been hurt. I also hope you don't stop posting. You have been such a kind, optimistic presence on the DIS.

 

[BCV23]

Sue, look at your post count! Congratulations!

 

[Nanajo1]

Ray,
I'm sorry you were misunderstood. I have always appreciated your posts. I think the OP was very hurt that her DD was subjected to such bad behavior and was still very sensitive. I don't fault her. I would be upset too. As Sue said it is unfortunate when what we write is not read how we meant it. I hope you don't leave the DIS. You would be missed.

 

[JenJen]

My Godfather who owns Fibrohugs wrote this for his forums and I thought I would share it all for you. It has been on several message boards not just fibrohugs and it is helpful when misunderstandings are arguements come up. I hope it helps.

From Fibro-Hugs, a great Organization for Fibromyalgia Information and Support.

Message Forums and Chats are filled with thousands of people. Just like in the World around us, thousands of people means thousands of different personalities. It's inevitable that not everyone is going to agree with 100% of the comments 100% of the time.

I'm writing this for the benefit of everyone but mostly for the lurkers who read the forum or thought of chat but are unsure if they want to participate because of what they've heard or what they've seen happen on various sites.

Fibrohugs is setting the stage today of how Message Boards and Chats should be run so that everyone gets to have their say, and feel good in doing it.

When a disagreement happens we have three choices:

1. Get hurt feelings and leave the site. This is a very common action and one that should never happen. By doing this you lose your support system and you also lose the ability to help others by not being around to give them your valuable support. History shows that you can not run away from people and there is about a 100% chance that you will run into this same experience at every other site you go to. You deserve to be here as much as the next person so please stick around and let the situation pass.

2. Attack the person and insist you're right. This is not that common but does happen and the attacker ends up being the loser in the end. Most reputable sites will not tolerate bickering, backstabbing, slander, abuse to another user, or allowing someone to dominate their opinion on the site. Attackers will inevitable get banned or blocked from these sites because one attack only instigates further attacks from people defending the underdog.

3. Agree to disagree. By far the only and most respectable way to handle such a situation. We have many active Members on our site since 1998 that are still the greatest of friends today because of agreeing to disagree. They've had their share of not seeing eye to eye on certain subjects but have always respected each other enough to allow them their own opinions. This action is what Fibrohugs will be focusing on in the year 2004 because we believe that everyone has the right to voice their own opinion.

Before you agree to disagree ...

This does NOT mean you can't challenge someone about their statement!

If you disagree with someone don't just make a statement like "I don't believe that". Back yourself up. Your statement can be "I don't believe that because..." and then have some proof to show them. You should then allow them time to get their own proof and state that for you to see. In reality this will turn two posters into two researchers that will bring back knowledge for the rest of us to read, further educate ourselves, and then draw our own conclusions.

Reading is knowledge, Knowledge is Power. Flame wars lack knowledge and are of no use to any of us.

Protocols, Treatments, and so called Cures

If something has helped someone get relief but has had no effect on 100 other people, that doesn't mean it's no good. It does mean that the chances of it working for you are pretty slim but not impossible because how can you tell that one person getting relief that they can't really feel better because others haven't?

These legitimate people will likely state their case and leave that information for you to do with what you will. I don't feel these particular people should be degraded by being told their story is not worthy.

Caution does have to be taken with the above situation because that is also a well used sales ploy for people pretending to have the illness and then saying this product has helped them.

Indications of a sales ploy will be {their} posting enough to catch your interest and then wanting to email you more (this gives them your email address to hound you), they will usually argue to no end that it is a cure all, many times they will show up in pairs or use multiple names and create threads about how it's helped them as well, and will post web addresses that has an ID of some sort attached to it such as www.fibrohugs.com/product

If you get such a web site address like that and want to check out the site we recommend you remove everything after the .com and enter it into your browser. Any legitimate business that has a valid product is going to proceed in a professional way by contacting us about Advertising.

Competition in posting. There will never be such a thing as this on Fibrohugs. Although I often here comments about that, it will never be true. Someone who posts 50 messages a day is no better or more valuable than someone who posts 50 messages in a month.

As with every crowd there are those who talk a lot and those who talk less, but each person in the crowd is dear to everyone else's heart. This is where the Elimination of Intimidation comes into play because I value the lurkers who have never posted just as much as the most active posters on our site.

The inevitable. It's always possible that no matter how much I write here, how much you read here, and how much you try to agree to disagree, there could be someone that you will never get along with no matter what you do. This happens everywhere on the Planet so why shouldn't it also happen on the Internet, right?

If you find yourself in this kind of predicament you need to bypass their posts, pure and simple. If you antagonize or harass them it is you that will suffer the consequences. On the other hand if, within their posts, they jab you our Moderators will deal with them in the appropriate way.

Fibrohugs has a number of Forum and Chat Moderators that help to keep our site running smoothly. If you require help or need to report a post that you feel is questionable please find the appropriate link found on the page within every message labeled "Report a Post".

If you are a Lurker who has never posted or joined in our chats, I look very forward to meeting you.

If you are a Regular I look forward to the continued communication with you again this year and plead for your help in making all the Newbie's feel welcomed and appreciated. They are just like we were a few years ago and need our veteran comfort and knowledge.

Ken Euteneier, Webmaster & Friend www.fibrohugs.com

Great article Ken. It can be applied to every forum on the Internet, regardless of the topic!

 

[BCV23]

What great points your Godfather makes, JenJen.