:furious:

[rie'smom]

As you can see by the thread title I am . Here's the background:
My daughter (12 years old,7th grade)was out sick three days this week. First,on Monday when I picked her up from school she was very pale. Monday night she was feverish(100.3). Tuesday afternoon,she starts with a stomach virus-vomiting. Wedneseday the virus moves to lower-diarrhea. The school has a policy that a child must be fever,vomit,and diarrhea free for 24 hours before going back to school. So,on Thursday,she wakes up with no fever and hasn't been sick since the evening before-about 5. So that's 14 hours. I don't send her to school because of the policy-I even called the office and they said to keep her home.
OK,so on Tuesday,her teacher says in front of the whole class-"Well of course, she's absent on a test day!-WTH-sure we planned the sinus infection and fever.
Today,same teacher makes 3 comments to my daughter like: Well,it's about time you decided to come back to school. -WTH againbut I really want to say WT_.
I know teachers work hard,etc. but don't you think that a teacher should act a little more mature than the kids that she teaches.
Am I wrong to be upset?

 

[DVCLiz]

No, of course you are not wrong to be upset!! This teacher was totally out of line, and this is the note I would send in tomorrow: "Dear Mrs. Soandso, DD12 tells me that during her absence this week you made several comments, "and I would quote them here." I would like to remind you that the school's policy of blah, blah, blah prohibited DD12 from returning to school until she was symptom - free, and that the decision to keep her home was made by her parents. In the future, if you have any questions concerning her attendance, pleas feel free to call me and I will be happy to discuss your concerns. Sincerely, Mrs. Ticked Off Parent

Honestly, that teacher sounds like a moron. The more I think about it, the more I would do that in an email, and let her know I had copied it to the principal and the nurse's office (if you have one.)

 

[minkydog]

I wonder if this is the teacher's lame attempt at humor, like "sure you were sick(wink wink nudge nudge)." I had teachers in high school and middle school who were like that and I had a difficult time telling if they were playing or serious. I still have a hard time with that kind of sarcastic humor. Whatever the reason, it's not appropriate. The teacher doesn't need to make any comment other than, "Glad your back, here's your makeup test."

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

i remember in my ecomonics class i was partnered up with a girl from my class for a project. we had about 2 weeks to do the project and we only used class time to do it. and it just so happened that the one day i got sick and stayed home. the next day i felt a little better and went back, but i left halfway thru the day......not until after my economics class....but my partner was out sick that day too. and then the 3rd day i didn't go in because i got worse, and apparently neither had my partner.

we both get back to the class and we get reamed out for being absent and we were told we both got points off of our grade for missing valuable project time.

although, this teacher never really liked me to begin with, so it really wasn't all that surprising.

 

[Xcited4Disney]

No, of course you are not wrong to be upset!! This teacher was totally out of line, and this is the note I would send in tomorrow: "Dear Mrs. Soandso, DD12 tells me that during her absence this week you made several comments, "and I would quote them here." I would like to remind you that the school's policy of blah, blah, blah prohibited DD12 from returning to school until she was symptom - free, and that the decision to keep her home was made by her parents. In the future, if you have any questions concerning her attendance, pleas feel free to call me and I will be happy to discuss your concerns. Sincerely, Mrs. Ticked Off Parent

Honestly, that teacher sounds like a moron. The more I think about it, the more I would do that in an email, and let her know I had copied it to the principal and the nurse's office (if you have one.)

I need to save this for any possible future use!

 

[DisneyBlonde]

I need to save this for any possible future use!

I was thinking the same thing!

 

[barkley]

i'de be ticked off too! in fact we removed dd from a private school for a similar policy with the same type of issues with staff complaints about absences.

dd (now in 6th) was in 1st grade and had been playing on a designated grass area. unbenown to us/staff the maintainance people had dragged brush accross it a few days prior and left poison oak leaves in the grass. dd got a horrendous case that extended up her neck and onto her lower face. the doctor kept her out a couple of days and then said she could go back. school wanted a release to ensure it was'nt chicken pox (she'd been absent with those a few years earlier, but we went ahead and got one), first day back school calls and says dd needs to be taken home due to 'distress'. it's because the school uniform blouse is rubbing on the blisters and making them raw. take her to doctor, more ointment, out one more day, back to school (again the school wants a chix-pox release) but doctor says no uniform tops that rub on upper neck or face (think peter pan style girl's blouses)-school refuses to let her wear boy's uniform polo (has lower collar) or school 'sprirt shirt' (no collar)-so she ends up out for almost another entire week until she can tolerate uniform top.

the 'icing on the cake' was the call from the principal on behalf of the teacher to discuss their concerns about dd's 'emerging pattern of non-attendance'. WTH????? they would'nt let her attend, they prevented her from being in class with only a minor accommodation (we had even volunteered to have her keep her uncollared sweater buttoned all day over the 'non compliant' uniform top so noone would notice. we withdrew her and never looked back.

btw-after the fact our pediatrician told us that the particular school we had dd in drove her crazy as a practitioner. said she had to do so many unnecessary medical appointments for kids "THAT SCHOOL' insisted were "sick with a fever" and required releases for-and in the bulk of cases the kids had gotten overheated at recess, sent home unnecessarily and were never sick to begin with. found out that a couple of years after we left a bunch of parents banded together with letters of support from their pediatricians (who i guess were frustrated too) and got the school to implement a new policy that if the school did a fever reading (thermomoter) it had to re-adminster the test 20 or so minutes later and see if the 'fever' was still present to avoid 'false readings', heard it cut way back on the number of kids sent home (and the number of staff members in the after school programs who somehow managed to always get off early several afternoons per week when ALL the kids in their programs somehow managed to 'spike' fevers such that the parents had to pick them up early and keep the home the entire next day

 

[rie'smom]

sorry

 

[rie'smom]

No, of course you are not wrong to be upset!! This teacher was totally out of line, and this is the note I would send in tomorrow: "Dear Mrs. Soandso, DD12 tells me that during her absence this week you made several comments, "and I would quote them here." I would like to remind you that the school's policy of blah, blah, blah prohibited DD12 from returning to school until she was symptom - free, and that the decision to keep her home was made by her parents. In the future, if you have any questions concerning her attendance, pleas feel free to call me and I will be happy to discuss your concerns. Sincerely, Mrs. Ticked Off Parent

This is an awesome response!!!

i'de be ticked off too! in fact we removed dd from a private school for a similar policy with the same type of issues with staff complaints about absences.

dd (now in 6th) was in 1st grade and had been playing on a designated grass area. unbenown to us/staff the maintainance people had dragged brush accross it a few days prior and left poison oak leaves in the grass. dd got a horrendous case that extended up her neck and onto her lower face. the doctor kept her out a couple of days and then said she could go back. school wanted a release to ensure it was'nt chicken pox (she'd been absent with those a few years earlier, but we went ahead and got one), first day back school calls and says dd needs to be taken home due to 'distress'. it's because the school uniform blouse is rubbing on the blisters and making them raw. take her to doctor, more ointment, out one more day, back to school (again the school wants a chix-pox release) but doctor says no uniform tops that rub on upper neck or face (think peter pan style girl's blouses)-school refuses to let her wear boy's uniform polo (has lower collar) or school 'sprirt shirt' (no collar)-so she ends up out for almost another entire week until she can tolerate uniform top.

the 'icing on the cake' was the call from the principal on behalf of the teacher to discuss their concerns about dd's 'emerging pattern of non-attendance'. WTH????? they would'nt let her attend, they prevented her from being in class with only a minor accommodation (we had even volunteered to have her keep her uncollared sweater buttoned all day over the 'non compliant' uniform top so noone would notice. we withdrew her and never looked back.

btw-after the fact our pediatrician told us that the particular school we had dd in drove her crazy as a practitioner. said she had to do so many unnecessary medical appointments for kids "THAT SCHOOL' insisted were "sick with a fever" and required releases for-and in the bulk of cases the kids had gotten overheated at recess, sent home unnecessarily and were never sick to begin with. found out that a couple of years after we left a bunch of parents banded together with letters of support from their pediatricians (who i guess were frustrated too) and got the school to implement a new policy that if the school did a fever reading (thermomoter) it had to re-adminster the test 20 or so minutes later and see if the 'fever' was still present to avoid 'false readings', heard it cut way back on the number of kids sent home (and the number of staff members in the after school programs who somehow managed to always get off early several afternoons per week when ALL the kids in their programs somehow managed to 'spike' fevers such that the parents had to pick them up early and keep the home the entire next day

I'm sorry that you all had to go through this. Kristy and Minky,I'm sorry that you guys had a rough time too.


DH and I are considering pulling her out and putting her in e school. It's a local school that has a 3 hour concentrated school day. If the parents choose,they can break up the week betwen homeschooling the child with the eschool program or sending them 5 days a week. It's really grown. In fact,some of the other parents have decided to put their children there already. Our school has been in chaos for about 3 years and unfortunately,the kids are suffering most of all.
Our daughter won't be happy at first but in the end,we as her parents have an obligation to do what we feel is in her best interest. It's killing me though because she does have friends there-of course some of them will remain her friends.
Sometimes being a parent can make you feel like you're a thousand years old.
Thank goodness DD,one of her friends,and I are leaving for Disney on Sunday-we need a break.

 

[Hedy]

Honestly? I think it was just misguided humor pointed towards a tweeage bag of hormones. Not great, I might say something, but not worth pulling her from school.

 

[Alex2kMommy]

No, of course you are not wrong to be upset!! This teacher was totally out of line, and this is the note I would send in tomorrow: "Dear Mrs. Soandso, DD12 tells me that during her absence this week you made several comments, "and I would quote them here." I would like to remind you that the school's policy of blah, blah, blah prohibited DD12 from returning to school until she was symptom - free, and that the decision to keep her home was made by her parents. In the future, if you have any questions concerning her attendance, pleas feel free to call me and I will be happy to discuss your concerns. Sincerely, Mrs. Ticked Off Parent

Honestly, that teacher sounds like a moron. The more I think about it, the more I would do that in an email, and let her know I had copied it to the principal and the nurse's office (if you have one.)

This is perfect! Polite, to the point, and to direct any future comments toward you, not the child. No overreaction, just very businesslike. I also like the comment to copy the principal or other school official on it.

The teacher's comment was out of line, and even if it was a joke and your daughter took it wrong, she shouldn't be making jokes that make a child feel belittled. Teachers deal with kids and parents who just don't care, so maybe she's just a bit jaded. Let her know that you are not that kind of parent, and your child is not that kind of student, you both do care.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

This is an awesome response!!!


I'm sorry that you all had to go through this. Kristy and Minky,I'm sorry that you guys had a rough time too.


DH and I are considering pulling her out and putting her in e school. It's a local school that has a 3 hour concentrated school day. If the parents choose,they can break up the week betwen homeschooling the child with the eschool program or sending them 5 days a week. It's really grown. In fact,some of the other parents have decided to put their children there already. Our school has been in chaos for about 3 years and unfortunately,the kids are suffering most of all.
Our daughter won't be happy at first but in the end,we as her parents have an obligation to do what we feel is in her best interest. It's killing me though because she does have friends there-of course some of them will remain her friends.
Sometimes being a parent can make you feel like you're a thousand years old.
Thank goodness DD,one of her friends,and I are leaving for Disney on Sunday-we need a break.

if you want to pull her out, then i'd do it. if you feel she's not getting what she needs out of the school, go for it.

 

[Beca]

Honestly? I think it was just misguided humor pointed towards a tweeage bag of hormones. Not great, I might say something, but not worth pulling her from school.

Well, they say 99.9% of humor is truth in disguise. And, even if the teacher was in the .1%....remember, a child in school does not have the same "opportunity" to respond in a like manner to a teacher. Teachers should remember that and not take advantage of their position. When I was teaching, I let it be known early on that if I ever "joked" in class that the kids could feel free to "joke" right back to me...and, they did!! I taught theatre and needed them to feel free to express themselves, so that was important. It doesn't sound like that teacher has the same policy, so she needs to remember to be professional in her dealings...I doubt she would've addressed an adult or "equal" in the same way. She certainly wouldn't have felt comfortable smarting off to the parents in that way. This definitely falls under the "pick on someone your own size" category. And yes....it is a problem.

 

[I Love Pluto]

The teacher was wrong, wrong, wrong. WHY would anyone belittle a child for an absence? Absences are used when someone is ill. You need to write this teacher a note or phone her. She has already pre-judged your daughter, and it's only November. Your daughter deserves an apology.

 

[Mermaid02]

Probably an attempt to be humorous but not very professional to say the least. I'd be upset too.

LOVE Liz's letter.

When my dd was in 3rd grade she got pneumonia and was home 3 days I believe. I went in to get some homework and the teacher thanked me. I said something like, "No problem, she can at least catch up on the reading..." then the teacher said, "Well, maybe if she sees how much she missed, next time she will drag herself in" I couldn't BELIEVE it!! I said, "Mrs. Richards, Megan is NINE years old, the decision to keep her home was mine and the pediatricians.... she is not going to DRAG herself into school with pneumonia."
I was really floored. Still am to this day.

 

[noodleknitter]

How frustrating for you! Liz's letter is perfect, IMO!

 

[alldiz]

i too would be very upset...
i would most definately talk with the teacher....
embarressing a student in front of peers is a no-no...

if the teacher does not respond very apologetically i
would talk to the principal...
good luck
kerri

 

[Stitchfans]

There is mean tacky teachers just like there is mean tacky people all over the world. I am trying to teach my DDs to "turn deaf" to people like that. I always tell them to be the bigger person and ignore rude comments like that. Or if they can't politely say, "that was rude" and walk away.

I always told them that as long as they weren't rude to the adult I will always back them up.

 

[DVCLiz]

Gee, thanks, everyone! I forgot I replied to this!!!!!!

I can understand a teacher's attempt at humor falling flat - my girls had the occasional teacher who made a comment that hurt their feelings, while I could see from an adult perspective it was meant to be humorous, even if a little sarcastic. Of course, my girls have me for a mother, so they learned early to recognize and appreciate sarcasm!!!

Still, though, that teacher shouldn't have said that, so I'd still fire off that note.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Probably an attempt to be humorous but not very professional to say the least. I'd be upset too.

LOVE Liz's letter.

When my dd was in 3rd grade she got pneumonia and was home 3 days I believe. I went in to get some homework and the teacher thanked me. I said something like, "No problem, she can at least catch up on the reading..." then the teacher said, "Well, maybe if she sees how much she missed, next time she will drag herself in" I couldn't BELIEVE it!! I said, "Mrs. Richards, Megan is NINE years old, the decision to keep her home was mine and the pediatricians.... she is not going to DRAG herself into school with pneumonia."
I was really floored. Still am to this day.

Unbelievable! I'm floored reading it! Sounds like she was talking about an adult in a work situation (one that didn't have pneumonia at that). That was a good come back. I hope she apologized!