Funny things kids say

[Eeyores Butterfly]

What funny things have you heard kids say?

I'll start:

One of our teachers at my school also teaches dance. According to the kids she "dances at night and gets paid for it."

 

[C.Ann]

My late friends granddaughter (6 or 7 at the time) kept getting into trouble for various issues in school.. Each time she would come home from school (after having gotten into some sort of trouble), she would proudly announce to her grandma that she had been "invited" to the principals office..

 

[S. C.]

I asked 6 year old grandson did he want to eat at subway. He said very excited. I want to eat at subway eat fresh.

I think the boy watches too much TV.

 

[matthew&haleysmom]

My 5 year old asked daddy to play a game last night. Then, he announced that he would let daddy win because daddy is really old.

 

[C.Ann]

My 5 year old asked daddy to play a game last night. Then, he announced that he would let daddy win because daddy is really old.

 

[NotAmused]

Yesterday, in my kindergarten class, I asked the students to tell me some words that begin with the "Q" sound (queen, quack) and a little girl proudly answered "quack-er.....you know, like the things you eat with cheese" and obviously was trying to saying cracker. Too cute.

 

[Tasha+Scott]

My 4 year old has a huge fear of loud noises. She is also afraid of the power going out so you can imagine she is always worried if she thinks it will rain at night. Well, last month it rained almost every single day here. We actually broke the record for the most rainfall in a year here largely based on last month. My daughter asked me why it rains so much. I told her that God makes the rain and that it is important because it helps the trees and grass grow. It also helps give the cows that we see in the mornings on the way to her preschool something to drink if they are thirsty.

Well, one morning last month my daughter got up and announced, "It's raining AGAIN!" I said, "I know." She says to me, "Why does it have to rain so much? God just gave the cows something to drink yesterday! They shouldn't be that thirsty again so soon!" Haha, life is never boring when she is around, that's for sure!

 

[IDoDis]

When DS was 5 years old, the song "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me was on the radio while driving in the van.
DS: "This is a sad song."
Me: "Why do you think it's sad?"
DS: "Because they stand in his presents. That's mean!"
He was picturing someone standing on someone else's wrapped presents and crushing them (where it says in the song, "Will I stand in your presence, or to my knees will I fall...")

 

[ShootingStarMom2]

My nephew was trying to explain that my other sister lived in a townhome. The homes are connected but he said she lived in a "hooker house" because they are hooked together.

 

[Val]

DD17 asked me, when she was about 3, why people have lips. Her big sis, now 21, told her, "to keep your teeth inside your mouth, silly".

DD12 is hard of hearing and has trouble pronouncing many words. When she was little she loved to eat "fried lice" and drink toca tola. Whenever we order Chinese, we still love to eat those fried lice and wash it down with toca tola!

 

[Luv Bunnies]

When my oldest son was around 7, I was reading everyone's horoscopes at the breakfast table. My son asked me to read his and I said, "Turn over a new leaf." He very matter-of-factually said, "But I don't have a leaf. Should I go outside and get one?" Love that guy!

 

[staley7580]

I was chopping veggies while I was making dinner one night.. My four year old wake n the kitchen just as I was holding my arm up in the air to push up my sleeve... Yes.. the one with the knife in it.. and runs out screaming.. DONT CUT ME MOMMA!!!! Ohhhhhh... Man. That was funny.

 

[bunkkinsmom]

My 7 year old was playing Sunday School teacher with my other two kids (5 and 3). She asked my 3 year old who she should always have in her heart.

What did my 3 year old say?

"Mickey Mouse!"

I love that kid!

 

[lovesmurfs]

A former coworker was grocery shopping with her granddaughter (7). She was in the hosiery aisle and was getting some stockings. DGD sees it and says pretty loudly, "Queen size. Grammy, you're the same size as my bed!"

 

[lovetoscrap]

I used to teach Kindergarten. I had a cold and had lost my voice. The kids came in and sat down and I was whispering to them with my scratchy voice. One of my quietest little boys raised his hand and said "Mrs LTS, you need to change your batteries, we can't hear you."

My 7 year old was playing Sunday School teacher with my other two kids (5 and 3). She asked my 3 year old who she should always have in her heart.

What did my 3 year old say?

"Mickey Mouse!"

I love that kid!

 

[jx3smom]

When my DS was about 4 I asked him what he wanted for Christmas and he told me a swimming table. I couldn't figure out what he meant so I got out the Sears wish book and he pointed to a play pool table.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

When my oldest DS was 3 we were at a place with one of those giant inflatable bouncy things. My DS was having a hard time climbing in, and a man standing there asked him if he could give him a hand. My DS looked at me with a shocked face and said Mommy that guy wants to give me his hand.

To this day DS takes everything very literally.

 

[minkydog]

When DS23 turned 3yo we had a little surprise birthday party for him. After he went down for a nap, we decorated teh dining room with Ninja Turtles plates, tablecloth, green & orange streamers, etc. I had baked the cake and decorated it the night before, so it was waiting in the wings. When DS came wandering into the dining room an hour later he was convinced that the Ninja Turtles had come to the house and decorated everything. He took my Dh down to the street and stood over a manhole cover yelling, "TANK YOO, INJUN TURTLES!"

 

[puffkin]

My 3 year old is just one of those kids who is constantly saying witty/funny things. I think it is just his personality, the fact that he has a large vocabulary, and the kid doesn't forget ANYTHING. It is freakish what he remembers.

We have our best conversations driving to/from daycare. Almost everyday I have to try not to run off the road laughing. Just this morning:

DS: Mommy, I want a baby sister.
Me: I'm sorry but not right now.
DS: But Jansy, Michael and Dylan have one (friends at school).
Me: Yes, I know, but we don't need one right now.
DS: We can stop at the store after school today and pick one out.
Me: A baby sister would be too expensive.
DS: But Mommy, what if you have a coupon?

 

[meloneyb21]

Around the time Micheal Jackson passed, after watching shows and news and videos for days, my daughter (5) asked "Mommy, what happened? Micheal Jackson is all over everything!" So I explained to her that he died, we talked for a little about death and she said "But what Micheal Jackson died? The white one or the black one?"....sigh...

After watching and dancing to his videos all day, she was a little confused as to how he changed from the "Thriller" Micheal Jackson to the "Remember The Time" Micheal Jackson.