Funny Things Kids Say

[flafan]

I have not stopped laughing at what my three year said. So I thought I would share it.

My 3 year old son caught me getting out of the shower.
He stops for a second and says "Hey, Mom I like your dots."
then turns around and leaves.

Does anyelse have a funny thing kids say story?

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

Dots?

A couple of weeks ago while I was sleeping, my windowshade fell off my window and clattered to the floor. It was super loud. My 6 year old daughter ran into my room and yelled out, "What's all that racket? It frightened me!" I just thought it was funny because she said it in this really serious grown-up voice. Guess you had to have been there.

 

[linda0706]

My DD7 informed me that when she grows up she's putting her dad & me in a nursing home.

She said she'll get us out to take on a cruise every now & then in our wheelchairs. Gee thanks, can't wait!!

 

[FutureMrsC]

Bump!!!

No kiddies of my own, but I'm loving these!

I'm a teacher and teach little ones (K-1), but they really didn't have many "gems" like these!

 

[JimFitz]

We are at dinner at Chef Mickeys and my 3yr old looks up at mickey and says..........

"Mickey, do you have a big wizzer like me"? I could hear the person in the suit laughing so loud.

 

[freckles and boo]

Yesterday my seven-year-old said "Mom, these band-aids are huge! But why is the sticky tape on the wrong side?" She was walking around with pantyliners on her knees.

 

[Alex2kMommy]

Our boys are big Toy Story fans. DS6 had a talking toy Woody doll, but lost it while he was 'flying' out the car window. So on our first trip to Disneyland, DS6 kept begging for a new doll; the Disneyland ones talked and were even bigger than the one he'd had. I finally relented, buying a Woody for him and a Jessie for DS3.

DS6 shouted out to DH, "Daddy, look! Now I have a big Woody!" DH and several other grown men busted out laughing.

 

[melanie18]

While driving the other day, DD7 & I went past a pet adoption center which has a pet cemetery next to it.

There is a sign out front that says "Cat adoptions every day". She asks what the sign means. I'm kind of puzzled, because I know she understands what it means, but whatever, I explain that it means you can adopt a cat any day of the week.

She's quiet for a minute, then says......"but they're dead".

She thought it meant you could adopt a cat from the cemetery. I was hysterical laughing. Priceless.

 

[Clang]

he told his grampa to stop being so starcasmic! (sarcastic)

 

[LadyyRedd]

Friend of mine took her then 4 year old DD to a baby shower with her. One of the other guests asked her DD "So, how are you liking the shower?" Her DD replied "It's nice, but I much prefer a bath."



Kimya

 

[Samandmom]

How do you know when your son is too old to go to the ladies restroom with mom?

My DS is 6yrs old and recently we were at Walmart. We went to restroom and being that he is only 6 I still take him with me to the ladies room. So we are standing there waiting for my dd to finish up, and my ds says to me "Mom why would someone pay .25 cents for a napkin when they can just go to subway and get one??" (this Walmart has Subway) I then replied I guess they REALLY needed one! (He was talking about the tampon machine)

My dd is in preschool and for Mothers Day the teachers put a book together with questions that they asked each kid. One question was My Mom weighs _____ and she replied 90lbs!!! I wish I think she missed a one in the begining of that.

 

[Erin1700]

Someone was going to drop something off at our house last week, I asked DD6 who was in the living room to watch for them.
i had never met the lady, just spoke with her on the phone. DD asks "What does she look like?" I told her I didnt know, that it didnt matter really and you just dont ask someone on the phone what they look like.

So, 5 minutes later I hear "Mommy, she's here! She is skinny and peach skinned!"

I about died and had to explain but the lady laughed too.

 

[RNMOM]

My DH was having breakfast with our boys when they were about 3 and 4 and held up his orange juice glass saying "toast", DS#1 followed with "toast" but DS #2 offered up "waffles!".

 

[luvindisneyworld]

Well lets see off the top of my head my DNephew 23 months loves Smarties the little candies,well he cant say smarties he call them Farties.You should see some of the looks we get when we are out with him,LOL

Then last night I have never laughed so hard we were all crying.His Mom give him a bath and then had set him on a stool to dry his hair and she had not put his diaper on him yet.Well he started calling for his worm and then he would open his legs and say there it is,LOL.Well he would sit there and push it between his legs and do the same thing he would call for his worm and then open his legs again.He did this for about a good 5 minutes.
I serously dont know about that child I laugh at him so much he is Hilarious

 

[NikiM20]

When DD was about 4 or 5 she told DH "Daddy, when I grow up and get married you and Mommy will have to move into my room" DH asked her why , she said "I will want the big bedroom then" DH then explained how her husband better have a place for her to live

Also when DD was in preschool DH used to tell her, if I come up to the school you are NOT going to be happy. Well the director said something about the parents coming up to the school DD told her if my daddy has to come up here, you are not going to be happy

 

[goofinoff]

I have a couple, all involving my dd4. A couple of years ago we took both our kids to WDW for the first time. They absolutely loved it. The following year Disney on Ice came so my Mom and I got tickets. Everytime the commercial came on I would say "We are going to see that!" So the night of the show comes and I get both girls into their Mickey Mouse shirts and ears and everything and get into the car. We get to the ice arena and my DD who was just 3 at the time puts her hands on her hips and says (with her lisp) "Hey, thith ithn't Dithney!!" The poor kid thought she was going to the real place!

Just a couple of weeks ago same DD wasn't listening to her father when he told her she couldn't go somewhere and she exclaimed "I'm going anyways." So I walk over to her and was talking to her and told her "When Daddy tells you something, you listen!" She repllies "I was listening...I didn't like what he said!!" (of course, with a cute little lisp!!)

Last night same DD decided to stick a wadd of tissue up her nose. After she finally blew it out my DH said "you can not put things in your nose. Or your ears." She said "Daddy, I can't put my ears in my nose!"

 

[luvindisneyworld]

I have a couple, all involving my dd4. A couple of years ago we took both our kids to WDW for the first time. They absolutely loved it. The following year Disney on Ice came so my Mom and I got tickets. Everytime the commercial came on I would say "We are going to see that!" So the night of the show comes and I get both girls into their Mickey Mouse shirts and ears and everything and get into the car. We get to the ice arena and my DD who was just 3 at the time puts her hands on her hips and says (with her lisp) "Hey, thith ithn't Dithney!!" The poor kid thought she was going to the real place!

Just a couple of weeks ago same DD wasn't listening to her father when he told her she couldn't go somewhere and she exclaimed "I'm going anyways." So I walk over to her and was talking to her and told her "When Daddy tells you something, you listen!" She repllies "I was listening...I didn't like what he said!!" (of course, with a cute little lisp!!)


Last night same DD decided to stick a wadd of tissue up her nose. After she finally blew it out my DH said "you can not put things in your nose. Or your ears." She said "Daddy, I can't put my ears in my nose!"

Thats so cute.Rage has a lisp to and I could just eat him up when I hear him talk

 

[N&B'smom]

We used to always crack up when my then very little DD, less than 2 would ask for a juice bag. (You know, like CAPRISUN) She could say bag just fine but had trouble with the 'juice' part. Let's just say it sounded like something that rhymed with 'juice' followed by the word bag. (think feminine product) It always cracked us up.

Now this is something that just happened tonight with my DS8 who is a very mature little boy. He's like a little old man trapped inside an 8 year old's body. He had been in bed and I heard him up moving around coming downstairs to talk to me. He walks into the room and says that's he is having trouble deciding on something. He knows he has plenty of time, probably about 20 years to figure it out but he just wants to decide. When he has a daughter someday, should he name her Penelope or Claire. I about fell off my chair. I informed him that since he won't be a father anytime soon he has years and years to figure it out and it'll be a decision he shares with his wife. What a cutie.

Shelby

 

[Celluloidgal]

Last Sunday we all went to the zoo.

When we passed passed by the gorillas, my DH told the kids jokingly "No comment!" (We all tease him that he is silly like a monkey) My DS7 said, "A comment is something you say that isn't a question. (Pause) Can I ask a question?" DH, "Yes." DS7, "Which monkey are you?"

Well...it wasn't a comment...

 

[Cindyluwho]

OK, I'll share mine. My grandma who is 96 loves to tell this story about me. When I was about 4 or 5 my mother informed me that a lady was coming to our house after church to have coffee. She told me I had to be on my best behavior and keep her company while my mother got the coffee. So when we returned home after church I sat in the living room with the nice lady. My mother in the kitchen could hear me say to the woman. (now, you'll have to imagine the real word I used, I don't want to get kicked off the dis!)

me "I can say goshdarnit. Goshdarnit, goshdarnit, goshdarnit"
woman "That's nice, dear"

I guess my mother wanted to just run out the back door and never come back.