Funny things kids say...

[mvazul]

I just thought of two more...

When my DS was 4, we drove to see my great-aunt and uncle. My DS has a name that people like to shorten, but I don't like and he doesn't like. As we were leaving, my uncle said, "Goodbye Mikey (not his real name)!! See you later Mikey. Have a great day, Mikey!!" DS politely said goodbye and waved as I was buckling him in the car. He then leaned over to me and whispered, "Who the hell is Mikey???"

When my sister was three, we were in the car with my mother. We were heading into town for groceries and had to pass a feedmill on our way. My sister got all excited and started to yell, "Look, Mommy!! Look over there on the roof! It's a flock of PENGUINS!!!!!!" It was a flock of pigeons sitting on the roof!! She is now 32 and we still pick on her about the flock of penguins on the roof. She is starting school this fall to get her PhD, so I'm assuming she has figured out by now penguins can't fly!!

 

[Parkhopper]

I needed the laugh today!

When DS was about 3, we went to the bank and we were standing behind a man with a LOT of tattoos. DS turned to me and in a voice that REALLY carried said, "I bet his mom is going to spank him when he gets home for writing on himself with markers." It's funny now, but at the time I wanted to crawl into a hole.

Suzi

 

[lajones81]

These are hilarious!!

When my now 12 year old DS was in first grade, his teacher called me one night after school. We talked about 4 days a week and were on a first name basis, because DS could be quite a handful most days. Well, one of his classmates was going to be a big sister. Also, his teacher was expecting right around the same time as his classmate's mother. So, the class had been talking about babies. DS decided he needed to add to the discussion.

He raised his hand and his teacher called on him. He siad, "My mommy is going to have a baby, too." His teacher said she was confused. She knew DH and I had just gotten married about 3 months prior to this and didn't think we were expecting. So, she questioned him on it and wished she hadn't. He said, "Yes, she's going to have a baby. She's not pregnant yet, but they're working on it!!!" I almost died!! She said it was all she and her aide could do to not bust out laughing!! I told her I was not pregnant, but she would be the first to know when I was. I had to make that call about 4 months later!! And, yes, she was the first to know - besides DH, of course!!

 

[Parkhopper]

Just thought of another one. DS had a playroom which was near, but not in our downstairs family room. We would allow him to play in his playroom (or watch tv in there) when DH and I wanted to watch a movie that was not appropriate for a small child to watch.

My first teacher-parent conference at Kindergarten came and the teacher laughingly told us that DS told her in a matter of fact manner that DH and I sent him to his playroom so we can watch "adult" movies.

I was completely mortified, but the teacher had already figured out what was really going on and was just ribbing me a bit.

Suzi

 

[qtwns]

I was using a variety of balls to teach a kindgergarten class about motion and force. I even had several balls--golfballs, ping pong, baseballs, basketballs--lying about to use in my demonstration. My opening question was "What is a ball?" One little girl raised her hand and answered "It is where princesses go to dance!"

I was teaching another class and was plugging in the microscopes that we were going to use. A little boy (2nd grade) comes up to me and says "WOW! If it has power cords you know this is gonna be fun!"

 

[Mkaz]

These are too funny. Yesterday DH and I were discussing the fact that he would like to buy a dump truck or a dump trailer for work. We agreed that it would have to wait because we have enough commitments (bills) right now. DS7 pipes up and says, "What's a commitment?" We explained that we had things like a house payment etc. Then he says, "So how much did you pay for our house?" We told him $85,000.00. Then he takes his hand and rubs his tush and says, "Well that's gotta be a sting in the pants!"

 

[Fishbone†]

When my niece was 4, we took her and her sister to a play in town. There was a lady sitting in front of us, and DN thought it was her daycare provider, so all through the show she kept calling at her. "Jean"......... "Jean"....... "Jean". This went on about 7 or 8 times, and each time we told DN that it wasn't Jean. She indignitely insisted it was and persisted in trying to get her attention. Finally, I'm sure out of pure curiosity or complete annoyance, the lady turned around. It, of course, wasn't Jean, and when DN realized this, she sat back in her chair and with a roll of her eyes, said "I told you it wasn't Jean".

When my DB was younger, he had a tendency to say exactly what he was thinking without regard to other people's feelings or how he might embarrass my mother.... which he did often. After a particularily embarrassing moment involving one of my mom's customers, my mom spent several days explaining, training and practicing the art of holding your tongue. She explained that sometimes you can hurt people's feelings if you say things that aren't nice, and that you really need to think about what you're going to say. During this time, DB was talking one afternoon about a friend of my mom's who's mouth was a bit small for all of her teeth, which were a bit larger than most. His observation was "Boy "D" sure has some big chompers". My mom taking the opportunity to further make her earlier point, said, "Yes, she does, but you would never want to say that to her, because you might hurt her feelings." DB, impressed none-the-less, said "Okay, but I bet she can sure chomp!!". Poor kid just couldn't understand why that wasn't a compliment.

 

[horseshowmom]

When DD was much younger, she was with me one day when I was shopping for some new clothes. Being a plus sized gal, I wear women's sizes (for example, 20W).

One of the items didn't fit, and she said she'd go get a different size for me. When she got back, she said, "I'm sorry, Mom, they don't have that in a 20 wide.

Ahhh, the truth can hurt sometimes!

 

[Erin1700]

My DD6 is in kindergarten, she gets all upset over taking a test and I try to tell her not to worry too much about it. She always does great anyway. So math test time last week and I reminded her that if there was something she didnt know not to get upset, just pick an answer. she came home and said "Mom, when the teacher passed out the tests, I asked her "If there is something on here I dont know, can I phone a friend?" Needless to say the teacher said no but DD said she giggled! Oh time to stop watching Millionaire!

 

[Parla]

DS was about 4 or 5 and he loved Lunchables. I hate buying them but there was a good sale one week and I bought a few. I was letting him eat the cheeseburger one and as I opened if for him I was inspired and started singing Cheeseburger in Paradise. He said, "Stop mom, that's all wrong. If it was paradise it would be a hotdog."