Funny stories kids have told their teachers about family

[IamTink]

I have heard lots of funny things in the past few years. But the most recent thing to come to my mind upon reading this thread happened on Monday. A fourth grade girl in reading group asked me how old I was. I replied that it wasn't polite to ask ladies their age when they grow up. This did not deter her, and the rest of the group began asking me and also talking about their own parents' ages. This girl said to me that she thought I was older than her mom. Then she added that her mom was 23. I tried not to react, knowing that this was a 10 year old girl, so mom had to be 13 when she was born. She then added " oh, my mom was a teenager when I was born. And my dad was too -- he was only 14. My stepdad is older -- he is 27."

Some things I just don't know how to respond to. I simply said "oh, ok. Let's turn to page......"

When I was little kid my mother had told me that she was twelve when her & my father got married & he was fourteen. I didn't know any better. In reality they were 22 & 24 respectively. Anyhoo, I was going to Catholic school & at recess one day I was walking w/the nun & a group of girls & I told her that my parents got married when they were 12 & 14 & whatever else I spilled I don't know. Well, I went home & told Mom & she was very upset & cleared me up on the actual dates, which didn't matter to me anyways. I'm sure she made sure the nuns found out their real ages when they married though. Sure she wished she never told that white lie. I'm sure Mom thought that the nuns thought she "had" to get married.

 

[Val]

I do drug research using a rat model- as in "in a laboratory". When my DS was in first grade, his teacher asked what job his mommy had. He said that his mommy "did drugs". When the teacher looked surprised, he added, "don't worry- she only does them when she hangs out with rats!". Thank goodness his teacher was a friend of mine and knew what I actually did. However, the story has followed me for several years now.

 

[Kirby]

I teach Sunday School and once the seven year old daughter of one of our friends told me about the hole in her daddy's underwear. Now, I've never told him about it but it's something I'll never forget.

 

[MELSMICE]

I work with children & hear funny things all the time, but I think the funniest was quite a few years back.............

A 3-yr old told us "when my daddy goes out of town for work, my uncle comes to sleep over". YIKES - I'm not too sure daddy was aware of that.

My mom has told this story many times. She breastfed me as an infant. I had 2 older cousins (girls 4 & 2 at the time). One day they were over and were watching my mom feed me. They were very intrigued by the whole breastfeeding thing & a conversation began. It went something like this:

Cousins - "Aunt Sandy, why do you switch the baby from one side to the other side"

Mom - "One is white milk & one is chocolate"

Cousins (very confused) "Well, where's the one for the kool-aid!!!!"

We still laugh about that to this day!!!

 

[live4christp1]

My DS 7 has a very vivid imagination and he likes to make up all kinds of stories. Having heard so many of them, I know immediately when he is making up a TALL tale. Anyway, this past Friday was field day for his school so I took the day off so I could go be with him. His 2nd grade teacher is new to our school, her first year here, she is really sweet but I think she has only been teaching a couple of years. After lunch we had about 45 minutes before field day activities were to start back so she decided we should take them to the playground and on the walk over to the playground she asks me, "Do you all live on a farm?" (DS loves animals, I bet he has over 1,000 of those little plastic animals, big, small, about 7-8 Noah's Arks, you get the picture?) DS has always talked about wanting to "have" a farm but we don't "have" a farm, at the present we are down to one pet, a black lab. I tell the teacher "no we don't live on a farm". She said, "Well, I didn't think so, but Micah was telling me one day that the pig got loose and got into the house."

 

[christinadei]

My DS(5) told me the other day how he had every super power (fly, invisible, freeze, etc.) I said, oh yeah, where'd you get all those super powers? He thought for a minute and said: e-bay. I about died.

The other morning DS told DH that he was going to have an ex-wife someday and that he wanted a bunch of babies. I'm hoping he got ex-wife confused with wife.

 

[princesspumpkin]

For Dd's graduation from pre-school, we attended and got a little dressed up. DD told her teacher "There's my mom and dad, and they have their clothes ON!"
I hope her teacher didn't think we lived in a nudist colony! Gosh, stop wearing sweat pants for one day....

 

[princesspumpkin]

This is none of my business, but why do you need to call the mom? Is the boy traumatized by seeing his sister with no clothes on, or are you calling to "tell" on the 17 yo?

Well I sure know one thing, whether it was the teacher's business, or traumatizing my younger child, or not, I sure would like to be told if my 17yo was naked and kissing a boy.

 

[Keli]

Years ago I taught 5-6 yr olds in Sunday School. We would ask if anyone had a prayer request before we prayed each week. One little boy raised his hand and asked us to pray for him because his cat died. I made a really big deal over it, of course, telling him how sorry I was, etc. The next little boy thought a moment and said "Pray for me, my mom died". I looked at the other teacher in horror, this boy's family were regular members of the church and I knew his mother very well. I just couldn't believe that she had died and I hadn't even heard. But then I remembered I had seen her walking into church 45 minutes before and had told her "Hi", LOL. We had made such a big deal over the dead cat that I guess the second boy thought he'd get a lot more milage out of a dead mom. His mom was very surprised to hear of her demise when I told her after church, lol.

 

[AmazingGrace]

My son was in Kindergarten when Grace was born. There was a little girl in Josh's kindergarten class whose momma was due the same time i was. I was admitted to the labor ward at about 1:am and classmates momma give birth a couple of hours later, right across the hall.
Josh goes to school and hears classmate telling the teacher how her momma had the baby this morning. The teacher sent classmate to the office and the happy news was announced over the loud speaker. At about 8:05, Josh told the teacher that HIS momma had a baby too. We knew ahead of time that she was a girl and we were naming her Grace, so he went to the office, told his news and Grace's name and birth was announced over the loudspeaker at about ten after eight.
The only prolem with that was, Grace wasn't born until 8:21! I called the school office at about 8:30, to tell Josh the news, and when secretary heard my voice, she started laughing and telling me congratulations. I said how did you find out? She said Josh came down and told us about twenty minutes ago!! Boy, I'm glad Grace turned out to be a girl, because her birth was announced ten minutes before she was born!!!

My other son Benji was in preschool. We all went to San Antonio over christmas break and had a nice time. When we were in the River Center, chick filet was giving out samples of chicken. I tried one and it was too spicy for the kids. When I asked Benji if i can have his chicken sample, he said yes, and i thought all was well. He went back to school and the teacher was asking all about what folks did for the holidays. So, Benji started talking about the Alamo, and the boat ride and the big mall on the river, when he suddenly burst into tears.
"What's Wrong??", the teacher asked. Benji said his momma did something REALLY bad to him. "what did she do?" asked the teacher. "My momma ate my chicken!" He wailed. The poor thing was inconsolable. His teacher stopped me in the hall and told me all about it, trying not to laugh. When I asked Benji about it, he said he was still sad 'bout that. To this day, it's a family joke about mean momma eats benji's chicken. I guess i won the bad mommy award that year!!

 

[TeresaBelle]

I used to work at a nursery school when I first gratuated high school. I was sitting next to this 3 yr old little boy when he grabbed my chest and said "My Mommy has these"

too funny!

reminds me of a little boy my aunt used to babysit. she's pretty well endowed. the little boy climbed up on her lap one day and laid his head on her chest, then he lifted it up and looked at her kind of funny and said, "you have big of those...my mom doesn't have those."!!!

 

[lajones81]

These are really funny. If it's any consolation my children's teacher told me when they started at school, "If you promise not to believe half of what they tell you happens at school, I promise not to believe half of what they tell me goes on at home."

Amen! I couldn't agree more!

I love hearing these stories, too! I always enjoy when I'm in the office during late check-in in the morning. Oh the stories those kiddies tell!

 

[paigevz]

I got a million of 'em, but here's one involving my own son:

My oldest was three and I took him to gymnastics, and the teacher asked if his dad lived in his house while she had him on the balance beam.......just making conversation, I guess...........well, he said: "Yeah, he lives with us. My dad slaps me around all the time!"...........I was standing right there, and she looked up at me...........I said, "Every day when his dad comes home from work, they wrestle, and they start with him tellling my son..........you want me to slap you around?" She laughed, thank goodness, and said I wouldn't believe what kids tell her, and I said, yes, I would, as I'm a teacher!