"Call 1-800-TP-DISTRESS, that's 1-800-TP-DISTRESS. If you've had an unfortunate bidet incident due to irresponsible toilet paper manufacturers, 1-800-TP-DISTRESS, remember, 1-800-TP-DISTRESS. Call now!"
(You have that fast-speaking/yelling voice in your head now... dont you?)
April's going to be a nightmare.
I'm already on shipment #3 of Easter candy.
If this rate doubles every third day, that'll be over 24 shipments and still only 3 cracked jellybeans left for the kids.