Funeral/Memorial Service; delivering a eulogy speech or similar?

[Lovely2CU]

I can only imagine that speaking at a funeral/memorial service is an exceedingly difficult task.

Have you ever delivered a eulogy, a prose, poem, verse, bible reading or similar, at the service?

Who was it for, family or friend? What did you do and how did you get on?

 

[AshleyW]

I can only imagine that speaking at a funeral/memorial service is an exceedingly difficult task.

Have you ever delivered a eulogy, a prose, poem, verse, bible reading or similar, at the service?

Who was it for, family or friend? What did you do and how did you get on?

I voted no, because technically I didn't deliver it myself. My grandpa died about 3 1/2 years ago, right before my 19th birthday, and I'm the oldest grandchild so my grandma wanted me to speak.

I wrote up this really nice thing (or so I'm told) about memories w/my grandpa and what an amazing person/father/grandfather he was. I made it all the way up to the front of the church, but I couldn't do it. I had the pastor read it for me, because I could tell I would have just sobbed through the entire thing.

Now that I think back on it, I wish I would have just read it. I think it would have helped with some closure.

 

[honugirl]

Yes, I did the readings at my Grandma's funeral. That was 5 years ago. I don't know how I did it, but I did. I completely broke down after I got off the altar.

 

[olena]

Singing is the hardest to do for me and I've done it twice. I hope my friends will honor me in song when it's my time.

 

[suzannews]

I voted yes.

At my Mom's memorial service, almost 2 years ago, I was asked to read a bible verse. I had also written a page about my Mom, basically what I would tell a stranger if they asked about my Mom. It took everything I had to get up there and read it but I am so glad that I did. No one else in my family wanted to get up and I knew I had to do it so I did. After, everyone who came up called it a tribute to my Mom. I hope she was proud of me and the speech.

 

[Aisling]

I voted no, even though I was asked to eulogize my grandmother, being the eldest grandchild. As another poster did, the best I could do was write something from my heart and have it read by someone else. I would have never been able to do it, since I was a sobbing wreck, but I wish I could have done it. I've never been asked to speak at the other funerals I've been to.

I did do a reading at a wedding, though. That was easy.

 

[Magix]

I wrote and read something for my mom's service when she died 5 years ago. I made a list of interesting facts most people at the service probably didn't know about mom (like, Space Mountain was her favorite ride at Disneyland, she's credited in the "thank you" section of a major motion picture, etc.) and made it as humorous as I could. I also encouraged everyone to get checked for colon cancer. I gave some personal, emotional thoughts at the end. I did cry at the end, but I didn't figure anyone would expect anything less at a memorial service. I knew my Dad wasn't planning to get up and say anything, although it did encourage him to stand up at his seat and say a few words. Everyone said they really enjoyed what I said and they thought it was great that I was able to get up there and do it.

 

[imabrat]

No, but I was offered the chance to. I didn't do it because I thought I would offend someone, and it's one of my biggest regrets. It was one of my classmates who I'd watched die of the same disease I battled and it was just too hard. I probably would've broken down crying in the middle of the speech or offended someone, even though her family loves me.

 

[mrsklamc]

My grandpa passed away on Christmas Eve last year. I read a poem at my grandma's request called 'first Christmas in Heaven." I talked about what a good man he was- he was a veteran and a great husband and father. I said I knew he was in heaven because he loved God so much. I told a story I totally ripped off from my pastor because it was perfect for my grandpa- he lived all his 80 years as a farmer in a small town, except when he was in the service.

An old country doctor was paying a housecall to a dying patient. "Doc," said the patient,"what's heaven like?" The old doctor was without words until he heard his dog scratching at the door downstairs. "Do you hear that?" said the doctor. "That's my dog. He's never been in here. Doesn't know what it's like in here. But he knows he wants to be here, because I'm here."

 

[antmaril]

Yes. I spoke at my husband's funeral last year, which was held on our 34th wedding anniversary. I have had a life long fear of public speaking, but this is something I had to do. When I went to the podium, a calm came over me and I got through it without falling apart. My family and friends told me I did a beautiful job and that they were very proud of me.

I have always regretted not speaking at my parents' funerals and I wasn't going to let that happen when my husband passed away.

 

[JessicaR]

Yes, for my Grandmother. We had an extremely close relationship and I saw her on almost a daily basis until she passed. I stayed up for two night writing her eulogy. I was recovering from major spine surgery and couldnt walk yet but I was so determined to write and read her eulogy.

I was unable to stay calm long enough to speak without breaking down. My sisters got up and stood on each side of me and help me through it. It was personal and depicted my Grandmother as the kind gentle soul that she was. So caring and so loving and we were all so completely blessed to have had her in our lives.

So, in the end this was one of the most difficult things I ever did, but I am so happy that I did. It was 4 years yesterday and each year I want to take what I wrote and re-read it but I haven't been able to - I hope someday I will. I miss her beyond words

 

[Carole]

Yes, for my Dad. I spoke about all the different names he had during his lifetime and what each one meant (son, brother, husband, father, grandfather, friend, etc. and angel). I made it all the way through without crying until I set back down in my seat. It was very, very difficult. I miss him still....

 

[MerMom60_94]

Actually, I have spoken twice.

I spoke first at my father's services a year ago. I spoke about him having to "let go" when I got married and now it was my turn to "let go". Also, my brother had given him a perfect father's day card that spoke of him as a father and I talked about that. I mostly could stay focused but at one point I suddenly felt like I was completely going to lose it and break down. I just had to take a moment to collect myself and then I could finish. I think I was ok as long as I was thinking about his life, it was when I thought about his illness and his death that I became overwhelmed so I just had to refocus my thoughts back to his life.

In February, I spoke at my father-in-laws funeral mass. I was given a list of prayers and chose one that I thought suited him and got up and read from the alter. Again, I just tried to stay focused on his life and when he was well rather than his final months.

 

[MushyMushy]

I didn't give a formal speech or anything, but at my friend's memorial service last spring, we all got a chance to stand up and give a memory. I almost didn't do it, but I'm glad I did -- I gave a funny high school memory that made his mother laugh out loud and make comments.

It was hard. I think it would have been easier for me to have a written speech, but it came from the heart and all just flowed out like it just happened yesterday.

I think it's a wonderful thing to do for your loved one.

 

[Shmily1]

No, I haven't but my sister-in-law did at my father-in-law's service and my BFF sang at her dad's service. He loved to hear her sing and always asked her to sing for him so she did it on his last journey.

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

Yes I have. I gave my mothers Eulogy when she died five years ago. I tried to convince my siblings (who are all older) to do it or one of her friends but none felt right about it. Instead I asked them to give me thier favorite memory and I spoke about those moments along with my own.

Now, I am so glad that I did do it. It was a wonderful way for me to say goodbye. I somehow held it together during the funeral and reception. It was not until the last guest left and I was home alone with my dd that I broke down.

 

[NMAmy]

No, I haven't. I really, really hate public speaking although I can talk to anybody one on one. A funeral is stressful enough for me without adding public speaking to the mix. The closest I got was sharing a memory of my grandfather at his memorial service but the only people at that service was my immediate family, my aunt and uncle and my cousins.

DH gave a reading at his dad's funeral and did a great job.

 

[aprilgail2]

Singing is the hardest to do for me and I've done it twice. I hope my friends will honor me in song when it's my time.

I have never been to any funeral or memorial service where anyone sang. They did have bagpipers at my godsons because he was an honarary firefighter. At that wake my godsons sister (12 at the time) wrote up a very nice thing to say but she couldn't do it so her uncle did it for her.

 

[Snowysmom]

I spoke at my father's funeral last year. I basically did a recap of his life with some funny anecdotes and memorable moments. I had notes which helped. It also helped that there was only family there as my father had outlived all his friends. That definitely made it easier for me as I do not generally like public speaking.

 

[ferris198]

My mother passed away almost one year ago, and DS, who was 8 at the time, asked me if he could speak at her service, they were extremely close.
I found a poem for a grandchild to read to a grandmother, and it was like to had been written for my mom specifically.
He wlaked right up to the podium, which was taller then him, grabbed the mike and read it.
He did an awesome job, there was not a dry eye in the church.
For weeks, I had people tell me what a great job he did.