frustration with cheer team

[disneyjunkie]

But the OP didn't say that the child in question was "average" or "not any good". She's aggravated that she's acting up and not doing what she should. This will bring the team down as a whole. I really don't care if a child is GREAT, but they need to give it their best, and they aren't doing that by playing around during practice. My DD does an absolutely beautiful split, but she can't land her back handspring to save her life. And that's okay - her coach knows that and doesn't put her in that position. That doesn't stop her from getting out there and working hard at it though. If I was spending the money I am only to have my child get out there and goof off, I'd pull her off the team myself.

It sounds like the child in the OP's post is behaving like most normal (or should I say average )7 year olds.

What happens if the child is pulled out by the parents? Will they get a partial refund? I’m sure the mother knows that her daughter isn't as into as the other girls. Maybe she's just trying to stick it out until the end of the season.

 

[Pigeon]

God forbid, kids acting like kids.

 

[Independent]

That's pretty harsh for a 7-year old, don't you think?

That is exactly what would happen on my daughter's squad. Parents are warned repeatedly that this is a competition team. It is serious. If you are not interested in the competition and not willing to put in the effort, then there is a rec team that would be more suitable.

I have witnessed a 7 year old being dismissed from the one of the competitive squads for being late to practice and not paying attention. The coaches gave the girl the option of moving to the rec team (no competitions and more laid back). Parents got mad and mouthed off to the coaches in front of the girls (using language not appropriate for young girls.) The girl was then not allowed to join the rec team.

 

[Independent]

How old were the girls? My 7-year old always goofs off at swim team practice. She is too young to have the ability to concentrate enough. She does better at swim meets, but we try to keep it low pressure and fun for her. Perhaps these girls are the same and they will do better at the competition.

My kids also swim competitively. It is completely different from a cheer squad. The swim races (except for relays) are really an individual sport within a team. If you don't try hard, you really just hurt yourself. If you haven't paid attention at practice and DQ by not doing a two handed touch on the fly, you just DQ yourself. You don't affect the other swimmer's performance.

With cheer, if one kid is off, it throws the whole choreography off and will bring the team's overall score down.

I have several kids all involved in different sports. Most are rec and youth leagues where it is more learn the game, everybody gets to play type sport.

But a few are competitive sports. When you sign up for a competitive team, you should know what you are getting into. A lot of parents don't want to hear this in today's age, but the goal is to win. It is expected that the goal of the team members is to win. If this is not what your child wants, then there are plenty of opportunities to play the same sport with less focus on competition.

Competitive cheer is demanding and extremely hard work. A kid has to really, really love it. I hate when I see parents force their kids to be there. A kid should be happy. What would be the harm of the kid cheering for the rec league if it makes them happy? Especially at the younger ages. But so many times you see the parents as the competitive ones, not the kids.

 

[kbkids]

That is exactly what would happen on my daughter's squad. Parents are warned repeatedly that this is a competition team. It is serious. If you are not interested in the competition and not willing to put in the effort, then there is a rec team that would be more suitable.

I have witnessed a 7 year old being dismissed from the one of the competitive squads for being late to practice and not paying attention. The coaches gave the girl the option of moving to the rec team (no competitions and more laid back). Parents got mad and mouthed off to the coaches in front of the girls (using language not appropriate for young girls.) The girl was then not allowed to join the rec team.

If you're told this in the beginning, that's exactly what should happen. Like I said before, and just like you're saying, a competition team is totally different than a rec team. There's nothing wrong with one or the other, they both have their place.

And no, chances are slim that the kid isn't going to pull it off in competition because she didn't learn it at practice if she was goofing off. One of the comments on our score sheet last year was "two girls in back row weren't in sync and didn't seem familiar with the moves." Hmmm! Wonder which two that was -

 

[Independent]

I will add that if your child is a flyer, you surely don't want one of the kids catching her to be the one who wasn't paying attention. It can be extremely dangerous.

 

[kbkids]

I will add that if your child is a flyer, you surely don't want one of the kids catching her to be the one who wasn't paying attention. It can be extremely dangerous.

No Kidding!!

 

[iloveboardwalk]

I find it really funny, how serious some of the parents take this stuff.

I was a competitive gymanst for 12 years. I took it very seriously. But I doubt if my mom could tell the difference between a handstand and a backbend.

Regarding the OP, what terrible tragedy will occur if the goof off girl doesn't live up to the standards of the rest of the squad at the competition?

 

[robinb]

I have witnessed a 7 year old being dismissed from the one of the competitive squads for being late to practice and not paying attention. The coaches gave the girl the option of moving to the rec team (no competitions and more laid back). Parents got mad and mouthed off to the coaches in front of the girls (using language not appropriate for young girls.) The girl was then not allowed to join the rec team.

Wow. Just wow. Someone has quite the power trip thing going on ...

I'm off to a swim meet where my DD will swim a relay and is another girl DQ's her relay it will not be the end of the world.

 

[Mom21]

Let me see if I can explain a little more. As Independent said earlier it is a dangerous sport. I have seen girls fall and bust their noses, break bones, and knock out a tooth. I can guarantee that if your dd is the flyer you don't want one of those girls that can't pay attention to base her. My dd is a base and she knows no matter what you break the fall. I told her I don't care if she has to throw her body under the falling girl she should always break the fall and she does. This isn't a sport where you can stop and tread water or if you get in trouble a lifeguard can be there in 10 seconds. There is the ability to break your neck. Paying attention isn't just a matter of winning or losing.

Also money. This is an extremely expensive sport. I guesstimate we spend about $10,000/year on this. Fees for the year are about $3200. However the travel and the private lessons run it up. I believe that if my dd is going to be learning to do something that could potentially harm her she is going to learn to do it right. I know people whose children have learned to do back handsprings and tucks in the back yard. Sorry not my dd. She will learn with a trained coach. So add in $40 per hour for privates.

Also travel. In fact this weekend, we are going to Atlanta. Just for me and my dd (hubby can't get off work) I estimate it to be about $1500. The entry fee for EACH cheerleader on the team is $149. We just did Jacksonville a few weeks ago and drove up. Still about $900. We have Orlando and Tampa left which will both be driving. Still not cheap. Add in 4 or 5 locals where it cost to park and entry fees of up to $40 for each parent.

Now I am not complaining about the money, don't get me wrong. We choose to spend our money that way, but just wanted to explain how frustrating it is to spend the money and some kid that hasn't paid attention the entire year and thinks it is all a joke can make the difference between 1st place and 4th. And yes one flub can make that much of a difference. I don't really care if they win or lose (I'm not one of those moms), but I see my dd's face when they know they did well. My dd is well aware of the fact that they can't always win. In fact in Jax they came in 4th and the disappointment was very evident when they came off the floor. I talked with my dd later and told her that actually they had performed better than they ever had. Just so happen they judges didn't like their music or routine. Oh well. I told her it happens, just be proud of how well they performed. We don't really focus on win or lose in our home. More on how well you did. Of course, it is nice to win when you have worked so hard.

I am not good with words so that is why I normally don't write about things like this. Just hoping I can give someone a glimpse into why paying attention is so important especially in this sport. Safety is number 1.

 

[iloveboardwalk]

If safety was an issue for the OP, I'm sure she would have mentioned it.


And I have to say, I'm shocked that cheerleading for a child so young can actually cost $10,000/year. Wow.

 

[kbkids]

Mom21 - you said it perfectly. Unless you've been involved in the sport, it's hard to explain to others how dangerous it can be and how vital it is that everyone is there when they are supposed to be, physically and MENTALLY. You absolutely can't learn the routines if your mind isn't there - and you're bringing the rest of the team down. As our coach puts it, it's all part of a puzzle - EVERYONE is important. If a part of the puzzle is missing, it's screws up everything. If one girl isn't clear on where to be or when, the other girl who is depending on her being at that spot gets messed up, and so on and so on. On our squad, you miss 3 practices in a row, you're not in that competition. You're so far behind at that point that it's impossible to catch up. The point is that safety very well could be an issue if someone isn't paying attention.

 

[kbkids]

If safety was an issue for the OP, I'm sure she would have mentioned it.


And I have to say, I'm shocked that cheerleading for a child so young can actually cost $10,000/year. Wow.

It's the traveling that racks up the costs. Hotel rooms, gas, food, etc. It adds up fast. My friend's daughter is on a dance team, and she deals with the same cost issues.

 

[va32h]

Seven year olds are competing at the level at which they could break their noses or knock out teeth or break their necks?

I wouldn't trust any seven year olds to catch my kid, or break their fall, no matter how much they were paying attention. A seven year old's body is only so big, after all.

My daughter figure skated for five 1/2 years. She just recently told me she wanted to quit. I had always maintained, to everyone who asked, that this was her desire, her goal, her motivation, her dream, etc etc. And I believed it. I really did. I thought I was enthusiastic and supportive, but not pushy. Not one of "those moms".

Well when my daughter finally did tell me she wanted to quit, she confessed that she had wanted to quit for nearly two years. But she didn't want to disappoint me. She didn't want me to be mad at her or sad. She knew how much her skating had cost, how much the whole family had sacrificed for her skating, and she didn't want us all to feel we'd wasted our time.

I was stunned. I had no idea she felt so much pressure. I did all the things people are saying here - asked her every year if she still wanted to skate, told her I would support her decision either way...just because you say it, doesn't mean they believe it. Most children, especially girls, have a very strong desire to please their parents.

In the case of these girls goofing off - it may be a passive-aggressive way to get off the team. Instead of having to admit they don't want to be there anymore, goof off until they are kicked off. Then it isn't their fault, it's the coaches' fault.

 

[iloveboardwalk]

It's the traveling that racks up the costs. Hotel rooms, gas, food, etc. It adds up fast. My friend's daughter is on a dance team, and she deals with the same cost issues.

That's....amazing.

 

[kbkids]

Seven year olds are competing at the level at which they could break their noses or knock out teeth or break their necks?

I wouldn't trust any seven year olds to catch my kid, or break their fall, no matter how much they were paying attention. A seven year old's body is only so big, after all.

My daughter figure skated for five 1/2 years. She just recently told me she wanted to quit. I had always maintained, to everyone who asked, that this was her desire, her goal, her motivation, her dream, etc etc. And I believed it. I really did. I thought I was enthusiastic and supportive, but not pushy. Not one of "those moms".

Well when my daughter finally did tell me she wanted to quit, she confessed that she had wanted to quit for nearly two years. But she didn't want to disappoint me. She didn't want me to be mad at her or sad. She knew how much her skating had cost, how much the whole family had sacrificed for her skating, and she didn't want us all to feel we'd wasted our time.

I was stunned. I had no idea she felt so much pressure. I did all the things people are saying here - asked her every year if she still wanted to skate, told her I would support her decision either way...just because you say it, doesn't mean they believe it. Most children, especially girls, have a very strong desire to please their parents.

In the case of these girls goofing off - it may be a passive-aggressive way to get off the team. Instead of having to admit they don't want to be there anymore, goof off until they are kicked off. Then it isn't their fault, it's the coaches' fault.

But what could you have done differently?? You weren't being pushy with her, you did all the right things. I'm not really sure what you're suggesting. Like I said earlier, DD really does love cheering. I've been an asst coach each year, but recently told her that I wasn't going to be able to this year. Her little brother will be starting football, and I need to be able to be over there when I'm needed. Coaching takes up an extraordinary amount of time, and I just can't give it my best this year. She got this look of horror on her face and said, "That doesn't mean I have to quit too, does it?" The look of relief when I told that she could certainly still keep cheering tells me that she really does love it.

 

[rbuzzotta]

Competitive cheering is extremely expensive!! I just had to pull my Level 5 DD out of it due to family medical issues and her lack of motivation!!!! Her team went to Worlds last year and most likely that group will go again this year. DD has trained with the best!! In the sport, everything is done in a progressive manner!!! You DO NOT move on to a more difficult task or level without mastering the lesser skill!!

She misses it so much and wants to return next season. It is all up to her!! I refuse to dish out 6,000/year without her heart being in it 100%.

As for the OP.......this behavior is common in the mini/youth level 1/2!!! It is hard on those that pay attention and the coaches!!! Sometimes a talk with the coach/gym owner may help. They can then speak to the parents of the child(ren) and let them know how the others feel.

There will Always be those parents who's child is the BEST!! Regardless and those that will always be favored!!! In order to enjoy the sport, sometimes you turn a deaf ear to hearing mom's brag at how wonderful their child is. Many times mom's will find many problems with other cheerleaders who may be competing for the same spot as their child!! It is pretty disgusting and truly makes the kids look bad!!! Sooner or later, everyone figures out who the bad cheer parents are and stay clear!!!

Enjoy the season...............it is fun!!! I do hope my DD can return next season.............she still is maintaining her tumbling and jumps at home. She is hoping to be able to be on a Level 5 team again as a flyer!! But I told her to not be disappointed if she does not make the Level 5 team!! Her attitude needs to clean up!!

Mom21............sounds like your headed to Cheersport Nationals!!! Good Luck!!! Makes me sad..........I would have been headed to Dallas!!!

 

[kidzmom3]

I just had to vent a little. I am frustrated with my 2 dd's cheer team. They cheer for an "all star" team, which is a competitive team. The girls are aged 7-11, so they are young and I understand this. It is very expensive, but I really just want the girls to have some fun, some exercise, some team work. What I don't want is 2 girls fooling around 2 weeks before a competition and causing problems for the whole team. Their parents were here tonight and did nothing! The coach was doing her best, along with her helpers, but one of the girls just would not stay in line. If they even paused for a minute she was flipping and lying on the floor. It is really frustrating. Oh well, Hopefully they will do well in the competition.

Hi Everyone OP here, thank you for the supporting words from fellow cheer moms.

This is an expensive sport and everything is laid out to you in full at the first meetings of the year. For parents and the children. It is a big commitment.

I thought that I had made it clear in my original statement that I wanted the kids to have fun, exercise and team work. I do not expect them to win every time, and in fact have one child with anxiety that I use cheering to help her with her self esteem. What I was frustrated by was the 11 year old child, who is old enough to know better would not concentrate at a very important practice. I didn't say every time, or that I didn't like the girl, but at this practice 2 weeks away from a big competition she would not concentrate.

For those who know cheering, this girl is my daughters Back Spot. This means she is the main person to catch my flyer DD if she should fall from the mount. If you have ever seen your little child get thrown in the air, or stand above everyones heads, you would know that it makes you nervous. Luckily my other daughter is also one of her bases, so I know someone is looking out for her. They had another practice today and the girl was 100 percent better. So maybe she was tired, or mad at her mother or hungry yesterday. So all is good, but I stand by my statement that I was frustrated with her yesterday.

 

[kbkids]

Hi Everyone OP here, thank you for the supporting words from fellow cheer moms.

This is an expensive sport and everything is laid out to you in full at the first meetings of the year. For parents and the children. It is a big commitment.

I thought that I had made it clear in my original statement that I wanted the kids to have fun, exercise and team work. I do not expect them to win every time, and in fact have one child with anxiety that I use cheering to help her with her self esteem. What I was frustrated by was the 11 year old child, who is old enough to know better would not concentrate at a very important practice. I didn't say every time, or that I didn't like the girl, but at this practice 2 weeks away from a big competition she would not concentrate.

For those who know cheering, this girl is my daughters Back Spot. This means she is the main person to catch my flyer DD if she should fall from the mount. If you have ever seen your little child get thrown in the air, or stand above everyones heads, you would know that it makes you nervous. Luckily my other daughter is also one of her bases, so I know someone is looking out for her. They had another practice today and the girl was 100 percent better. So maybe she was tired, or mad at her mother or hungry yesterday. So all is good, but I stand by my statement that I was frustrated with her yesterday.

Glad to hear things went better today. That would be scary with her being the back spot. My DD was the flyer for a couple of years - it's very nerve-wracking!! We tried our best to put the ones with a tendency to not give it their all in a spot where they were least likely to cause someone to get hurt - like not in a stunting group at all. 11 years old is definitely old enough to know better than to be goofing off!

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

God forbid, kids acting like kids.

exactly!

I find it really funny, how serious some of the parents take this stuff.

I was a competitive gymanst for 12 years. I took it very seriously. But I doubt if my mom could tell the difference between a handstand and a backbend.

Regarding the OP, what terrible tragedy will occur if the goof off girl doesn't live up to the standards of the rest of the squad at the competition?
__________________

My mom was the same way! haha! i was a Cheerleader from really young through College and she was always there, but never involved. that would have really driven me crazy! \

She spent the money, i went on the trips, cheered, had the outfits all that and she was there as a parent and only that.