frustrated

[jenscourt]

Your mom sounds eerily like mine...I am 39 and she still thinks like this about me. My mom is one who overreacts and has way too much time on her hands to think of things to worry about. I have stayed in a tent at Fort Wilderness by myself several times and have not had anything happen. Tell her you will be fine and just go and have fun.

 

[Judy in Texas]

You are 25 years old. Do you still live at home? Do you have a job, live on your own, are reliable and self sufficient? We don't know your background...

If you are self-sufficient and living on your own, why do you care?

If you are still living at home and your parents are still paying your way at 25, then you have chosen to allow your parents to have a major say in your life. As long as you live at home under their roof, they rule most of the time no matter your age.

That being said, I am a 59 year old woman and I would be comfortable camping alone in a tent at Fort Wilderness. I think your mother is over-reacting. If she had ever been to The Fort, she would be more comfortable with you staying in a tent.

You need to add a "Not enough information provided" option.

 

[DisCamper]

I feel bad for you. Your mom is doing you injustices. She is going to make you live in fear your whole life. The best thing for you is just tell your mom you are now so scared you are not going to Disney with them

 

[tinkerbellandeyor]

You are 25 years old. Do you still live at home? Do you have a job, live on your own, are reliable and self sufficient? We don't know your background...

If you are self-sufficient and living on your own, why do you care?

If you are still living at home and your parents are still paying your way at 25, then you have chosen to allow your parents to have a major say in your life. As long as you live at home under their roof, they rule most of the time no matter your age.

That being said, I am a 59 year old woman and I would be comfortable camping alone in a tent at Fort Wilderness. I think your mother is over-reacting. If she had ever been to The Fort, she would be more comfortable with you staying in a tent.

You need to add a "Not enough information provided" option.

I do not live at home moved out right before I turned 22 yrs old so now it is me and my DFI and 3 cats

 

[Judy in Texas]

I do not live at home moved out right before I turned 22 yrs old so now it is me and my DFI and 3 cats

Good for you. You will be safe. Once you are on your own and proved yourself to be dependable and sensible, then your Mother has no say. Do you think something happened to her or someone close to her to make her this fearful?

The Fort's front gate is guarded. You will not be by yourself. Just to appease her, you might considered getting an emergency alarm of some sort. If she wants you to have one, though, she should pay for it. Here's one I found by searching on Personal Emergency Alarms:

http://www.magellans.com/store/Auto_TravelSP130?Partner_ID=FRGL

I was at Lowes yesterday and they had a similar personal emergency alarm at the checkout.

Let her know you will check in every couple days just to let her know you are safe and having a grand time. She shouldn't expect more.

 

[KristinU]

Some mothers seem to just run on "worry" as a fuel. My mom does and I'm 38. We live in central CT and were heading to VT last weekend to go camping...well, with hurricane Earl headed in the general direction of New England my mom was worried about us and called on Thursday night...giving me times of forecast rain and wind etc. I pulled up their forecast and current conditions (they live in FL) and rattled them off and told her I could stalk her as well...then I asked if she thought she did a decent job raising me to watch the weather and trusted the judgement that they've taught me (and we've camped my whole life! Not like camping and outdoor activity is some new-fangled thing) I then asked her if my dad knew she was calling and made her put him on

Reassure your mom that you'll be watching your surroundings and do check in from time to time to let her know you're OK. To be honest, if a sex offender were to go to WDW, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be 25 year olds they'd be after, unfortunately. Also, statistically, sex crimes are usually committed by someone the victim knows. The random acts are more interesting for movies, books, and internet warnings, but are not how they typically happen (not saying the random stuff never happens, of course...but statistically you're pretty safe)

 

[tinkerbellandeyor]

Some mothers seem to just run on "worry" as a fuel. My mom does and I'm 38. We live in central CT and were heading to VT last weekend to go camping...well, with hurricane Earl headed in the general direction of New England my mom was worried about us and called on Thursday night...giving me times of forecast rain and wind etc. I pulled up their forecast and current conditions (they live in FL) and rattled them off and told her I could stalk her as well...then I asked if she thought she did a decent job raising me to watch the weather and trusted the judgement that they've taught me (and we've camped my whole life! Not like camping and outdoor activity is some new-fangled thing) I then asked her if my dad knew she was calling and made her put him on

Reassure your mom that you'll be watching your surroundings and do check in from time to time to let her know you're OK. To be honest, if a sex offender were to go to WDW, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be 25 year olds they'd be after, unfortunately. Also, statistically, sex crimes are usually committed by someone the victim knows. The random acts are more interesting for movies, books, and internet warnings, but are not how they typically happen (not saying the random stuff never happens, of course...but statistically you're pretty safe)

I always call my mom every few days to let her know that I am okay and we see eatch other once a week

 

[Eeyore5]

My mom is the same way and I am 36. I live alone and have since I got my first place (other then living in dorms at college) at 22. My mom has her reasons for being this way including being the daughter of a police chief and hearing too many crime stories growing up. You wondered why your mom is this way. It might just be how she is wired. She may have had something horrible happen to her that she hasn't shared with you. She may have a friend who has had something terrible happen. Hard to know for sure. If you want to know you could ask her if she has in concrete reason for her fear or if it is general anxiety. Be sure you can handle the answer before you ask.

As for what to do, what I have found is gently but firmly setting boundaries. We are doing a big fmaily trip in November. My parents and I are staying in a cabin and my brother and sister-in-law and their kids in their RV - all of us at the Fort. My mom got stressed out about me saying I might sleep in when they head to the park early and would call their cell phone and meet them when I was ready. I calmly, and polity said "Mom, I appreciate that you care. But, I am 36. If I want to sleep in, I will. I can take care of myself and you don't need to worry." Doing this over and over again for various situations has helped improve her dealing with situations like this. Follow through is important - if you say you are going to do something, stick to it even if she isn't happy. I also let her know often that I love her and am grateful that she cares. I am a special education teacher and go into homes. Most of the families I work with are awesome. But, some of the situations I have seen make my very grateful for the fmaily I came from. An overprotective mom isn't so bad in the scheme of things.

One other thought, check with someone you trust to have a more balanced perspective before discounting your mom completely when she worries. Camping with friends isn't a big safety risk. Walking in a bad neighborhood at 2 AM not so good. There are no guarantees in life that bad things won't happen to you or someone you love. But, we can't love in fear.

 

[Eeyore5]

I always call my mom every few days to let her know that I am okay and we see eatch other once a week

That's great. I see my parents 1-2 times per month. They live 45 minutes away. I with they lived close enough to see them 1-2 per week. I talk to them most days because I love talking with them (mom especially since dad can't hear well on the phone ) I have gotten them to the point that we can go three days without talking and they wont worry. When dad retires, they are talking about moving near me. he will be 65 in December but know says he will work til 70.

 

[mikeymouse1]

All the banjo music at the Fort is piped in on speakers.Ive been going to the Fort for 37 years and never herd any pigs squealing maybe a liquored up Fiend or two howling at the moon but that's about it!

 

[tinkerbellandeyor]

I asked my DFi what he thought of all the rape talk and kidnaping talk was my mom overreacting to her 25 yr old trying something new and reminding me that I might be on Disney property but still it is the real world. Have a tendancy to forget that.

 

[ftwildernessrick]

On my next May trip, I am throwing both my daughters and their friends out into the tent, rather than cram them all into my motorhome. I don't even consider it a safety issue and they will have a little more girl time privacy, you know 'Yak, yak, yak...'