friend's mental health---MJ related

[daisyx3]

I am about to throw away a friendship. This friend of mine has become totally, insanely obsessed with Michael Jackson since he died. She liked him before he died, and I guess was a big fan during "Thriller" times--but now it's all-consuming.
She still cries all the time. She talks about him non-stop. There is no fun to be had with this friend anymore unless I want to cry and moan about how horrible it is that he died.
She has alienated her family and all of her friends. She treats him like a God. She has a creepy painting of him up in her living room. Her boyfriend gave up after a couple of months because he realized he couldn't compete with her memories of this person she never, ever met. She says she feels a "connection" with MJ.
I've given it a year now, and all I can say is I'm about done. This will basically leave her alone with her music, her creepy painting and her MJ chat boards.
Is there any way to get through to such a person and make her see that being an obsessed freak is ruining her life?
Daisyx3

 

[NHdisneylover]

Have you suggested she go to counseling? Possibly even offering to go with her once or twice if she is afraid? Or at the very least talk about this with her doctor or pastor or something? It sounds very unhealthy.
I realize that today has been a year (they were talking about it on the radio and playing several of his songs today) so maybe today she is extra upset, but still being this upset/intense over ANY death for a full year is very concerning. If you have encouraged her to get help and gotten nowhere I think you should move on. It is probably not healthy for you to hear about it all the time and I would worry about her becoming more and more mentally unstable, which could cause other issues down the road. Poor girl. I guess just be nice when you break off the friendship rather than angry or cold.

 

[Tinkermommy]

Well I am not a psychiatrist but I play one on the DIS.

It sounds from your description of the friends behavior that she has an addiction. And just like with most addictions, she will need to get outside help/counseling. All you can do is encourage her and help her find some resources (psychologist, psychiatrist, help groups, etc).

As with most addictions, the person is trying to escape from their own life. I have no idea why your friend is doing this but I have seen with people in my life that an event will trigger something from the persons past or even give them a very scary insight about themselves and instead of dealing with that they become addicted to something in order to avoid it.

I wish you and your friend the best of luck. But if she is not willing to get some help, then you may need to distance yourself as well but let her know that when she is ready you will be there to help her.

 

[ZeitgeistDuck]

I don't think I *could* be friends with somoene that felt that "connected" to a total stranger.

 

[wvjules]

I know a few people she should meet.

 

[SaraJayne]

I know a few people she should meet.

OP, I have no patience for people like that. It's been a year and she didn't even know him, for criminy sakes!!

Drop her.

 

[Rora]

Sounds like your friend needs a trip to the counselor. It's very strange (and sad) that this has happened.

OP- I don't blame you.. I don't think I could stand to be friends with someone like this, especially since the obession is MJ. Regardless, suggest therapy, if she doesn't bite, hit the road.

Sorry for your friendship.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

Well I am not a psychiatrist but I play one on the DIS.

It sounds from your description of the friends behavior that she has an addiction. And just like with most addictions, she will need to get outside help/counseling. All you can do is encourage her and help her find some resources (psychologist, psychiatrist, help groups, etc).

As with most addictions, the person is trying to escape from their own life. I have no idea why your friend is doing this but I have seen with people in my life that an event will trigger something from the persons past or even give them a very scary insight about themselves and instead of dealing with that they become addicted to something in order to avoid it.

I wish you and your friend the best of luck. But if she is not willing to get some help, then you may need to distance yourself as well but let her know that when she is ready you will be there to help her.

OP - your friend needs help. This is not normal behavior. Good luck with everything.

 

[TheZue]

She needs help big time. Are you close enough with her family to mention it to them? You could let them know that you're concerned that she's ruining all her social contacts with her obsession over a dead celebrity; and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. Who knows maybe she has a history of mental illness and they can step in to get her the help she needs.

 

[foolishmortal]

well you could always ask her if she was so conected to him would she have ever left her child home alone with MJ

 

[Magic Mom]

OP, your friend needs help. No one should be that obsessed with a person they never met and couldn't have cared less about her when he was alive. That's disturbing and sad.

 

[DisneyKT]

OP, I think you might have to separate yourself from this friend. Tell her or him you will be there for them if they get some help. It is not healthy or normal to be obsessed over a dead person, for over a year. Especially one you have never met.

It is just not normal to be that into a dead person. Creepy with a capital C.

 

[MM27]

I wonder if these obsessive people have the same reaction when a close friend or family member dies. I think it's really a sickness when people are so obsessed with someone that they only know through music, television, etc. dead or alive.

 

[Metsfan520]

I wonder if these obsessive people have the same reaction when a close friend or family member dies. I think it's really a sickness when people are so obsessed with someone that they only know through music, television, etc. dead or alive.

I think some of them have never lost someone close to them.

 

[Heidict]

There are people who did this with Elvis so it doesn't surprise me that it is happening with MJ.

The obsession, the worship, the crying, the fantasies all point towards an emotional/mental issue that they need help for. They really need to seek someone out whom they can talk to that can help direct them towards the true problems in their life and hopefully that will help them breakaway from this unhealthy obsession with a dead person they never met or knew.

 

[sunnyday123]

Has no one else in her family suggested counseling for her?? I have to agree with everyone and say there is a touch of mental illness going on with her. Has she ever become obsessive with past boyfriends??

I just don't get the hoopla with dead celebrities. And now I have to go read another thread.

 

[declansdad]

Anyone who would become so despondent over someone they never even met has some serious issues to deal with. OP, time to run away.

 

[angie@dvcstore]

It's been a year and she's acting like this?? I mean this is not normal behavior i couldn't be friends with someone like that, maybe she does need help and I would suggest just like everyone else as for her to go to counseling and seek professional help maybe that can help her out a bit. Good luck with that

 

[MiniGirl]

OP, I feel so badly for your friend and others who are going through this. I feel bad that they are hurting, but I feel worse for them for the year they have lost with those that are still living and actually in their lives. I pray they get some help and won't lose more precious time. If Michael's death taught them anything, it should be that life is too short and we should cherish it and enjoy it in the here and now.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

She has an unhealthy obession. I've known people who have lost loved ones that are nowhere near consumed with that level of grief one year later. But then again, a large support network and sometimes counseling helps.

I'm not sure I would call it an addiction per se. But I have no training to know the clinical difference between the two.

Small confession...

A couple of months after I got married, I saw the movie: Selena---aboutthe Tejano singer who was murdered by her fan club president. I don't know what came over me...but I was glued to that movie and kept watching it over and over again. It was like I expected a different ending. I was never a fan of the singer and had heard of her murder when it occurred, but never really gave it much of my concern. And her I was spending copious amounts of time watching this movie.

I had to quit cold turkey. I did up end in counseling for other reasons, but I did mention this. I was treated for anxiety (again, unrelated to this) and I've never had such an issue again with the deaths of people I don't personally know.

This girl is unlikely to overcome the death of MJ. I would slowly distance myself from her. I would also suggest counseling--but as with any issue, she has to realize it is a problem. She may find her social circle diminishing...and I would guess she is probably saddened at how could everyone not be as upset about Michael as she is.

I realized my Selena obsession was extremely ODD and I told noone and nipped it in the bud ASAP. I had told the counselor as part of my intake. I wasn't "over it" per se...but I was still actively avoiding anything having to do with Selena b/f I was afraid to get caught up in it again.

Your friend is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy past that point. She needs some kind of intervention.

Otherwise, you don't need that type of negativity in your life.