I found a website with some of my favorites... and I didn't even quote ALL of them. Best. Show. Ever.
Ross: We were on a break!
Rachel: You know, Ben, I was your daddy's girlfriend.
Ben: But you're not anymore. Because you were on a break.
Ross: [leaning over and talking to Rachel's lap] I can't wait to play with you all day, and to hear your first words.
Phoebe: [wide eyed] Why are you letting him talk to your crotch that way?
Rachel: He's talking to the baby.
Phoebe: Oh, that's good. Because when I heard, "I can't wait to hear your first words" I thought, "Boy that's some trick!"
Janice: Oh... my... God!
Ross: You know, we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby that's half human, half *pure evil*!
Rachel: ...How many centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine?
Dr Long: Three.
Ross: Just three? I'm dilated three!
Ross: What are you doing?
Chandler: Making chocolate milk. You want some?
Ross: No thanks, I'm 29.
Pheobe : Chandler still thinks I'm pregnant and he hasn't asked me how I'm feeling or offered to carry my bags. I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica is RIGHT THERE)
When Ross was dating Elizabeth (his student)
Ross: I would date her but there is a big age difference.
Joey: Well think about it when you're 90...
Ross: I know, she'll be 80 and it won't be such a big difference.
Joey: No. What I was gonna say is when you're 90 you'll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.
After Ross cheated with Copy Shop girl (and wanted to tell Rachel)
Chandler: All right, look if you absolutely have to tell her the truth, at least wait until the timing's right. And that's what deathbeds are for.
I Ross take thee Rachel (instead of Emily)
After the Rachel/Emily name thing!
[pounding a scone]
Ross: Stupid British snack food.
Chandler: Did they teach you that in your anger management class?
Judy Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He can't see the bride in the wedding dress.
Nora Bing: As I recall, when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
Charles Bing: But that was after the wedding. It's not bad luck then.
Nora Bing: Honey, it isn't good luck.
Ross: Oh, really? Well, I guess Monica should know about Atlantic City.
Chandler: Du-ude!
Monica: What happened in Atlantic City?
Ross: Well, Chandler and I are in a bar...
Chandler: Did you not hear me say, "Du-ude"?
Ross: ...and this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after a while he just goes over to her and, uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what you're thinking. Chandler's not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls. And you're right. Chandler's not the type of guy just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Monica: You kissed a guy? Oh my God.
Chandler: In my defense, it was dark and he was a very pretty guy.
Monica: Hi.
Chandler: You are not gonna believe what I did today.
Monica: Well, clearly you didn't shower or shave.
Chandler: I got good. I played this game all day and now I rule. They should change the name to Ms. Chandler.
[pause]
Chandler: Although, I hope they don't.
Monica: Wait a minute, you staid home all day playing Ms. Pacman, while I was at work like some kind of chump?
Chandler: Yeah, and I got all the top ten scores and erased Phoebe off the board. High five!
Monica: What is the matter with your hand?
Chandler: Well, I've been playing for like eight hours. It'll loosen up, come on check out the scores. Oh, and also look at the initials, their dirty words.
Monica: Chandler, why would you do that?
Chandler: Because it's awesome.
Monica: You think this is clever?
Chandler: Well, they only give you three letters, so after (edited) it is a bit of a challenge.
Monica: Wait a minute, this one's not dirty.
Chandler: Well, it is, when you put it together with that one.
Monica: Oh, well, if you don't clear this off, you wont be getting those from me. Ben's coming tomorrow over to play this game, this can't be there.
Chandler: Come on, he wont even know what they mean.
Monica: He's seven, not stupid.
Chandler: Have you talked to him lately?
Monica: All right, I'm just going to unplug it...
Chandler: No, no, no, if you'll unplug it, then there will be nothing to show from my day. It would be like I was at work!
[Monica unplugs it]
Chandler: Look at that, look at that, it's still there, this thing must have a primitive ROM chip!
Monica: You gotta beat your scores.
Chandler: With the claw?
Monica: Fine, I'll do it. We gotta get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him "Pull my finger".
Chandler: Pull my finger... my hand is messed up!
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Joey: I hate Pottery barn too! They kicked me out of there just because I sat on a bed.
Chandler: You took off your pants and cimbed under the sheets!
