Friend trip that is becoming a big mistake

[lovetoscrap]

This is her first Disney trip. I feel responsible for her having a good time. I just think she is clueless about what a Disney trip entails.

She remarked months ago how going with me was like having your very own VIP tour guide...now she doesn't want to hear anything I have to say.

I"m more than willing to "wing it", I just need to firm up our hotel arrangements. Having different rooms at my hotel would be almost 75% less than SPLITTING where she wants to stay. It would be a big budget factor in where we would want to eat, etc.

You have absolutely ZERO responsibility for this woman's trip. You have done your best. I think the email you just sent was offering too much.

I did a trip with our very good friends several years ago because they had been saying they wanted to go to Disney with us since I was such an "expert". I was very upfront with them that this was my family's trip and that we were doing it our way. They were welcome to tag along but if at any point they didn't want to continue with us they were welcome to go their own way. And it was a pretty great trip! They did slow us down a bit, but mid week we split up for a while. They had my plans, the ADR schedule and my cell number. We are still good friends.

Have a great trip with your daughters.

 

[LuvLDM]

I think you handled it very well
Have a great trip!

 

[Jennasis]

Ahhh....I love it when a plan comes together! Nicely done. Have a GREAT time!

 

[robinb]

Well, I took the advice and wrote her a polite, short email stating time is running and out and I went ahead and made different room reservations. She is free to keep our conceirge room or she can stay at my hotel, but she needed to make a decision today and respond. I also told her I get the impression she would like to change or cancel and I have no problem with either. I told her if I didn't hear from her that I was canceling the first reservation at the end of the day.

She did already respond though. She sent an email that said...and I quote...

"I'm such a ding-bat."


LOL But no response to anything I said.

I think I'm canceling that ressie and booking seats for my older daughters. We can all comfortably share one room. And we WILL have a blast!

Thanks also for the PPs that told me not to discuss my daughter's issue. I'm so glad I posted here before I betrayed her privacy. I'm glad I was stood up this morning. I know I would have told the mom. Good call...thx!

I would give her until the end of the day as promised.

 

[Magpie]

Well, I took the advice and wrote her a polite, short email stating time is running and out and I went ahead and made different room reservations. She is free to keep our conceirge room or she can stay at my hotel, but she needed to make a decision today and respond. I also told her I get the impression she would like to change or cancel and I have no problem with either. I told her if I didn't hear from her that I was canceling the first reservation at the end of the day.

She did already respond though. She sent an email that said...and I quote...

"I'm such a ding-bat."


LOL But no response to anything I said.

I think I'm canceling that ressie and booking seats for my older daughters. We can all comfortably share one room. And we WILL have a blast!

Thanks also for the PPs that told me not to discuss my daughter's issue. I'm so glad I posted here before I betrayed her privacy. I'm glad I was stood up this morning. I know I would have told the mom. Good call...thx!

Yay!

Have a marvelous trip!

 

[cm8]

It sounds like the two of you already have 2 separate trips booked. I would send her an email with your plans. Tell her that it sounds like your vacation styles may not work together well, but here is the information of what you are planning to do. What park which day, what ADR's you have made (the times and location-- NOT the number), and your cell phone number. Tell her you to give you a call if she would like to meet up while you are both there. Maybe even an "we would love to have dinner on Saturday with you" or "DD would love to ride Splash mountain with your son".

This way you have not canceled the trip. You have given her the option to vacation with you if she chooses and an easy out if she doesn't want to.

This is what I would say!!!

 

[dislaney]

I think you will now have a great trip. And she is either a dingbat or not a very good friend. Who treats people like that?

 

[Halloweenqueen]

Update...got a response and I don't know how to proceed. I guess I'm just super sensitive, but it really ticked me off.

She first started in that my daughter must not want to hang out with her son and she doesn't want my kid to upset her kid, so maybe we shouldn't hang out together.

I explained that my daughter likes her son, but doesn't want to sleep in the same room as him.

She then said she would stay at the hotel of my choice, which happens to be the Howard Johnson in Anaheim. For all the WDW goers, it's right across the street from DL, so it's super convenient. She said she would stay at Hobos. She called it that multiple times.

I sent her an email and joked about her typo. I really don't think it was a typo though.

I don't know what to do at this point. She is making me out to be the villian now.

 

[agnes!]

Be the villain...embrace it.

And go ahead and have a GREAT time at Disneyland .

agnes!

 

[LuLuO]

Tell her that you are sorry you haven't been able to get together to plan the trip and that you think it is best that you go your seperate ways. Period. She is not being respectful of you and I wouldn't waste another second on her. You've already made seperate arrangements and she can do the same.

ETA: Saw your update. There is no way I would vacation with that woman. Go your seperate ways and have a great time.

 

[funkychunkymonkey]

Update...got a response and I don't know how to proceed. I guess I'm just super sensitive, but it really ticked me off.

She first started in that my daughter must not want to hang out with her son and she doesn't want my kid to upset her kid, so maybe we shouldn't hang out together.

I explained that my daughter likes her son, but doesn't want to sleep in the same room as him.

She then said she would stay at the hotel of my choice, which happens to be the Howard Johnson in Anaheim. For all the WDW goers, it's right across the street from DL, so it's super convenient. She said she would stay at Hobos. She called it that multiple times.

I sent her an email and joked about her typo. I really don't think it was a typo though.

I don't know what to do at this point. She is making me out to be the villian now.

wow this woman sounds like a peach. I would have told her off by now LOL

 

[Sandy V.]

First of all, STOP ENGAGING with this woman. She has some serious passive-aggressive tendencies. Don't take the bait.

I would simply say something along the lines of "we've decided to make our own reservations and plans; you are more than welcome to make yours as well, and we look forward to meeting on Day X to do Event Y or Meal Z together". Or tour for 1/2 a day together. But stick to that - make in only 1/2 a day!!

But please, please, please, do not go back and forth in e-mails or converstation with this woman and her little written/verbal "jabs". Rise above it, respond in simple clear sentences and then STOP. You don't accomplish anything by continuing this discourse - in fact, it only makes you more stressed.

In the end, I hope you have a wonderful time.

 

[SaraJayne]

This is her first Disney trip. I feel responsible for her having a good time. I just think she is clueless about what a Disney trip entails.

She remarked months ago how going with me was like having your very own VIP tour guide...now she doesn't want to hear anything I have to say.

I"m more than willing to "wing it", I just need to firm up our hotel arrangements. Having different rooms at my hotel would be almost 75% less than SPLITTING where she wants to stay. It would be a big budget factor in where we would want to eat, etc.

I'm guessing since her husband's a doctor, she isn't real worried about cost.

I'd stay where you want to stay, and let her know a vague outline of your trip.

Or if you don't want to do that, I'd say, "DD and I are going whether you are or not. Maybe see you there."

 

[SaraJayne]

Update...got a response and I don't know how to proceed. I guess I'm just super sensitive, but it really ticked me off.

She first started in that my daughter must not want to hang out with her son and she doesn't want my kid to upset her kid, so maybe we shouldn't hang out together.

I explained that my daughter likes her son, but doesn't want to sleep in the same room as him.

She then said she would stay at the hotel of my choice, which happens to be the Howard Johnson in Anaheim. For all the WDW goers, it's right across the street from DL, so it's super convenient. She said she would stay at Hobos. She called it that multiple times.

I sent her an email and joked about her typo. I really don't think it was a typo though.

I don't know what to do at this point. She is making me out to be the villian now.

Honestly, I'd dump her and not give it another thought. This is your vacation and do NOT let her ruin it for you.

 

[Nancyg56]

I would be done. Call her and tell her that you have made plans and that she is welcome to catch up ith the two of you if she would like. Do nto share any information abnotu your DD with this woman. Odds are god she is not going to follow through with any of this adn is setting you up to take the fall so that her son is not blamoing her for backing out. She wants you to be the bad guy adn I would nto let her use me that way.

 

[CathrynRose]

I've gone to WDW with 2 g/f's and their kids on 2 seperate trips. Both, I am *extremely* close to (one was in the delivery room for my first son, the other, for my other son!) Both of them I could spend hours on end with, and never tire of. One has a child (who *I* was in the delivery room, for) 6 months younger than my youngest - the other has boys both exactly 11 years younger than my boys (mine: 19 & 15 / hers: 8 & 4)

Again - I adore both these women. I am SO close to both of them...HOWEVER.

One I travel with VERY well. I miss her when our trip is over. She'll call the day after our trips (we've been on a few) and say "I woke up, and my first thought was "I miss Cathryn!"" And I feel the same way.

The other - I do NOT travel well with. AT ALL. We travel different, completely. It got so bad, I was -not only irritated with her- I was irritated with her daughter! I love that girl! And I wanted to run away and lose them....switch hotels.... wear disguises.

If you're getting a bad vibe now?? I worry about this....

I called my husband a couple times, and he'd ask, all excited and happy for me (I had been begging her to bring her daughter down, and vacation in Disney with me for YEARS!!!! YEARRRRRS! And she finally agreed!) So, he'd ask me "How's it going?!???" - all excited, waiting for me to tell him what a great time I was having. And I told him - I wasted money, I should have never done this, I wanna go home, I'm having an awful time, we (me and my son) both are.

So, I'd really, really, really think about this.

 

[CathrynRose]

And FTR - the girl I travel with...we share a room!

The one I don't - we did not share a room. You'd think the break would make it better. It didn't.

ETA (I keep thinking of things....) - keep in mind, these women I went with weren't just casual aquaintances. These are both very close friends. Like I said - if you're getting an 'uh-oh' vibe now?? What's the trip going to be like??

I seriously completely regret ever going on that trip. I wasted a perfectly good Disney trip, on *that*. It sucked. It just sucked!!!! I'm thinking about it now, and getting upset about it again. I was so ....frustrated! And thinking how much I'd spent, and seeing my son (who still, at 15 now, really enjoys Disney trips) being annoyed, and sad, and not having a good time. The whole thing just stunk.

ETA2 - If anyone remembers when I surprised Danny with a 4 day trip, and said we were picking my boss up at the airport - it was following THAT trip!! I had to make up the madness of that last trip!!! And then we won a magic hour in the MK - which was sweeeeeeet!

 

[Buckalew11]

I've gone to WDW with 2 g/f's and their kids on 2 seperate trips. Both, I am *extremely* close to (one was in the delivery room for my first son, the other, for my other son!) Both of them I could spend hours on end with, and never tire of. One has a child (who *I* was in the delivery room, for) 6 months younger than my youngest - the other has boys both exactly 11 years younger than my boys (mine: 19 & 15 / hers: 8 & 4)

Again - I adore both these women. I am SO close to both of them...HOWEVER.

One I travel with VERY well. I miss her when our trip is over. She'll call the day after our trips (we've been on a few) and say "I woke up, and my first thought was "I miss Cathryn!"" And I feel the same way. The other - I do NOT travel well with. AT ALL. We travel different, completely. It got so bad, I was -not only irritated with her- I was irritated with her daughter! I love that girl! And I wanted to run away and lose them....switch hotels.... wear disguises.

If you're getting a bad vibe now?? I worry about this....

I called my husband a couple times, and he'd ask, all excited and happy for me (I had been begging her to bring her daughter down, and vacation in Disney with me for YEARS!!!! YEARRRRRS! And she finally agreed!) So, he'd ask me "How's it going?!???" - all excited, waiting for me to tell him what a great time I was having. And I told him - I wasted money, I should have never done this, I wanna go home, I'm having an awful time, we (me and my son) both are.

So, I'd really, really, really think about this.

I went on a trip last October to WDW with a friend and we shared a room at the Dolphin. We were exactly like this. It was a super smooth trip and we had a blast! It is great when it works, for sure.

I will say that before I go to WDW with anyone they must understand that I am the *boss*. That sounds awful, I know, but true. I will do anything they want to do, But I must attract the non-planners and the people who want me to take control so it works well.

OP, I would not even want to be friends with this lady. I would not even want to meet up with her for dinner. She sounds like a "notsonice" person. I say cut your losses, go with your girls and have a great time. This lady's assumptions of your daughter is over the top. This would only be the beginning of your trouble between her and your DD and what little 6 yo needs that at Disney????

 

[Halloweenqueen]

Thanks everyone. I just feel guilty, but I'll get over it.

I'll give her a call tomorrow and tell her it just isn't working out.

 

[dislaney]

Thanks everyone. I just feel guilty, but I'll get over it.

I'll give her a call tomorrow and tell her it just isn't working out.

I hope you do. She doesn't even sound like someone you'd even want to have as a friend to me.

Travelling with someone is easy when you have the same styles but when you don't- YIKES! I can't even imagine a trip with someone like this.