Friend trip that is becoming a big mistake

[vicb]

This past year I had a situation where our very good family friends were going to WDW the same school break week we were. I already know that I do not travel well with others because I like to be in control of my own agenda (not saying this is good, just saying I know myself). I was very upfront with my friend and made it clear we would LOVE to spend time with them there but not plan the whole week together. She was very receptive. We both wanted to try different moderates so we did, and we both liked where we stayed. We met up for a very fun and magic evening at MK emh night. Our kids ran through a nearly empty MK for 4 hours together,it was awesome. We saw them another evening at the studios. Then after 3 days there they left to spend a couple of days at the beach while we hung at WDW for the rest of the week.

So with a little honesty up front all 9 of us got exactly what we wanted out of our week, friendship in tact! Good luck to the OP keep us updated.

 

[madcam]

This is why I don't travel with others. We had a family that we were fairly good friends with once upon a time. Their kids were the same age as my stepkids (and then we had our younger two as well). It became clearer to me as our older kids went into high school that our parenting styles were VERY different. Our families decided to take a trip together (not Disney) and after that train wreck, the friendship quickly fell apart. Out of all my friends, there is only one family that I would be willing to travel with at this point. I don't even want to travel with my BEST FRIEND'S family....love her, her DH and all of her kiddos DEARLY but do not want to go on vacation with them!

My point is, I knew going into that trip that it might be a bad idea but I let myself be talked into it. Every disaster on that trip just hilighted the things that bothered me about our "friendship". We didn't have a strong enough friendship to recover from the bad things that happened on that trip. Even if you know someone very well and love them, it doesn't mean that you make good traveling companions (like PP mentioned about her two friends) so why would you risk traveling with someone that you aren't excited about spending time with even in just a regular non-vacation situation. This woman doesn't even sound like she is a compatible friend for you in your every day life...standing you up, not returning your calls, making fun of your plans.

Case in point:
A) I absolutely love my parents and enjoy their company but rarely travel with them because we have completely different travel styles. I have told them that they are more than welcome to meet us at Disney but my family will not be on the schedule that I know they will have. If they dont' want to do what we have planned (they eat early, we eat late...they head back to the hotel early, we stay until we are done...they eat only very specific foods and we are more adventurous eaters...they don't like rides nor do they want to spend all their time at Disney) then they will have to make their own plans.

B) We have some newer friends that would like to travel with us. I like them alot but I don't think we have very much in common. I KNOW we parent differently but its not a huge issue because her kids are older than mine so they are not really peers. I know that we have very different priorities when it comes to vacations so I will not be traveling anywhere with them because I would like to protect the friendship we have.

MrsPete hit the nail on the head. You were always planning two different trips and didn't even know it. Better you realize it now than in the middle of your vacation.

 

[JerseyJanice]

You've gotten excellent advice already on this thread.

I only want to add that it is possible to take a vacation with friends and have a wonderful time. I think the key is agreeing upfront that you all aren't joined at the hip, and if you need to split up and do different things, no one need be offended. Having cell phones is helpful for meeting up again.

We traveled to WDW this past summer with a lifelong friend of mine and her family. It was probably the most fun vacation any of us ever had. In fact it was such a good time that we are now planning to rent a beach house together next summer.

 

[Dizneydaz]

Just read through the whole thread (skimmed some).

What if you just don't have any more contact with her? Take your DDs and go on the trip you want. Let her fend for herself. You definitely have different trips in mind. Personally I wouldn't be comfortable with someone who wants to do the concierge thing when I want to go budget (If done concierege once at WDW and is was great (used DNieces CM discount) but it was a splurge for us, even for only 3 days..

You DD6 and her son are really no longer friends if he is home schooled. She's too busy to be a friend with you. Cut her lose-she's just dead weight dragging you down.

We've only traveled to WDW with family, though it's usually just my DD11, my DM71, and myself. A few years back one of my DD's friends extended family was going to be at WDW the same time as we were. We've gone to DL for a few hours with them and they just exhaust me! My ears need a break afterwards. I feel very hectic when with them. They have 2 DD and usually have 2 grandkids along as well. The trip they made to WDW they had all 4 kids, the parents of their grandkids, and the Dad's first wives family came too. Along with a few misc. relatives and friends! Quite a large group. I kept meaning to call them to make arrangements to meet up with them at one of the parks but never got around to it. Our plans tend to be a little fluid while there and we may change our schedule.

Anyway, near the end of our trip, just after we entered Blizzard Beach I heard someone calling my name. It was them. The whole group. They had never been before so they listened to me (as they should) about where to set up camp, etc. and my DD and their DDs had a great day together! I also treated my DD's friends family (not the extended part) to meals on my DDP. We were almost done and knew we wouldn't use them up. After leaving BB they came over to POP to swim for a bit. It was a great way to hook up with them and all had fun. But it was only that one day.

They did tell me when we got home that they went to DHS and didn't llike it. I had suggested to them that if they were only doing one Disney park to go to MK or AK, not DHS (then MGM). They didn't listen and they spent a lot of money and didn't enjoy it.