Friend/neighbor's jewelry party; WWYD?

[ems_mom]

I like this neighbor (babysat her child for almost 2 years) but we aren't as close currently. She has had a jewelry party before, with a different company. At that event I bought close to $100 for three pieces I gave as gifts. Right now I don't think I should spend $ on things I don't need/can't afford.

Should I email back with a fake excuse for not attending? Should I go and mingle and say I need to think about it, then not make a purchase? What would you do?

 

[marybet]

I would call her and tell her you'd like to come to the party but you're not sure if you can buy anything this time. Or if you really don't want to go to the party you could just tell her you really can't buy anything right now.

When I had parties like that I never really cared if people bought anything and I would always tell them that when I invited them. Do you think this woman would be upset if you didn't buy anything? If so just tell her you can't make it, you really don't have to give her a reason and I would not make one up either.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Should I email back with a fake excuse for not attending?

No. Since she invited you by e-mail, you should respond by e-mail stating (and you have to use my EXACT wording) Thank you very much for asking, but I can't. No excuses, fake or real. No explanation. No other words. If she writes back, or calls you, simply repeat the exact same phrase. Write it down and keep it by all your phones.

Should I go and mingle and say I need to think about it, then not make a purchase?

No. If you do decide to go - to socialize, to catch up with other neighbors, to support the hostess simply by being a body (hostesses at home parties do sometimes get a gift based on the number of attendees), go with ABSOLUTE resolve. Don't be wishy-washy, don't bring any checks or credit cards, don't bring any more cash than you can absolutely afford to spend - in case you actually do see something you absolutely can't live without.

What would you do?

In case you can't already tell , the above are what I would do.

 

[maslex]

I went to my friend's/neighbor's jewelry party a few months ago and she knew it was to basically chit/chat and have a few snacks. LOL She knew up front that 1--I didn't have the extra money at that time and 2--I am not a jewelry person at all. I wear my wedding bands and my mothers ring and that's it. She didn't have a problem with that at all.

 

[golfgal]

Go to the party for the social aspect and don't worry about buying something. I would not make up an excuse if you don't want to go, I would just simply say "sorry, I can't make it".

 

[Pigeon]

"Sorry, I can't make it." Repeat as needed.

No fake reasons why you can't.

I never go to these things.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would not go but that is me. I would tell the hostess that I cannot buy right now.

 

[anniemae]

If you want to go just to socialize, I would go. Sometimes the hostess would like people there, just to make the party more lively, fun and more interesting. There is no law saying you have to buy something.

If however, you truly do not want to go, just say you can't make it, no exuse necessary.

 

[Nancyg56]

I would just tell the hostess that I could not attend. I also am not a jewelry person and there can be a lot of subtle pressure at these parties. Once you go to one, if the consultant can get neighbors to book more parties there can be that snowball effect. And don't get me started on the pressure that comes when the Hostess is convinced all she needs is 6 parties to become a consultant and you are parked on the sofa, coffee in one hand and your brownie in the other, cornered, while the hostess is asking you to commit because the stuff sells itself and then she gets her kit for free.


Can you tell I have been there?

 

[Disney Doll]

"I can't make it".

I have never been one to tell people I can't afford something. Truth is, you could afford something if it was something necessary.

You choose not to buy jewelry because you have other financial obligations right now.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

The main purpose of this "party" is to purchase jewelry, yes?

You aren't going to do that, so why would you go?

"No thanks. I won't be attending this time."

Easy peasy.

 

[Rora]

"I can't make it".

I have never been one to tell people I can't afford something. Truth is, you could afford something if it was something necessary.

You choose not to buy jewelry because you have other financial obligations right now.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

If you don't want to go, just provide your regrets. You are under no obligation to attend.

 

[Scurvy]

If you want to go just to socialize, then go and don't feel pressured to buy anything. Don't say you'll think about it, just don't buy. If you don't want to go, say you can't. You don't need to say why. If you choose to decline without giving a reason beyond "it won't be possible" or "I can't" and your hostess asks why, then she's being rude. If you want to say why, then say you have previous plans. (Because you do; you are planning to do anything other than going to a sales party for something you don't need or want!)

ETA - You are never obligated to divulge anything about your financial situation to other people. There's no reason you should say you can't afford to buy anything; it's no one's business but yours. If you want to say you can't afford it then of course they should respect that. But it isn't necessary to tell anyone that. The fact that you can't go should be all the information they need.

 

[Ember]

I hate parties like this... There is no polite way to shake down your friends and family for money! I would simply say I couldn't attend.

 

[C.Ann]

I wouldn't make up a fake excuse.. I would just tell her that buying jewelry isn't in your budget right now - maybe next time..

 

[LuvLDM]

"Sorry, I can't make it." Repeat as needed.

No fake reasons why you can't.

I never go to these things.

What she said

I detest these kind of "parties".

 

[Handbag Lady]

I've thrown these parties for candles and for Tupperware, simply because my friends and I needed some items and it sounded like fun.

I loved when those I invited would tell me, "I'd love to come but I'm not buying anything." Then, I could tell the rep to be sure to NOT pressure any of my guests, and I'd try and get the guests to come anyway and yes, I usually turned them into cocktail parties.

So, those who wanted stuff could buy, those who wanted to socialize were welcome to come and not buy, and in the end, I got a nice hostess gift from the candle company that I loved. I think for the candle party, I did get a gift based on the number of guests, not the amount sold.

But, I would also have about 15-20 people at my parties, so it was easier for the non-buyers to simply not buy.

I also banned one candle lady rep from taking each guest aside to see what they wanted to order. That is just tacky, rude and won't happen at my party.

 

[Hillbeans]

I wouldn't lie and i'd just say either I can't afford to buy anything but i'd still like to come over or if I don't want to come over i'd just say catch me next time around. I don't see any reason to lie about the fact you don't want to spend money - I know people who tell "little white lies" all of the time and I often wonder what and if they fib to me about.

 

[Pigeon]

I've only ever gone to one of these parties and it was for Arbonne. I was invited by a neighbor that I wanted to get to know better. I warned her that I don't spend a lot on makeup, and I'd just gone through chemo and didn't want to put a lot of unfamiliar stuff on my face.

She assured me that she just wanted me to come and have fun. Ugh. Longest night of my life. She really gave it the hard sell, and there weren't many people there, so it was pretty obvious that I was the only one not buying hundreds of dollars of skin care crap. I bought the cheapest thing I could find and got out.

The woman insisted I take samples of some of the skin care regime, and kept calling me about it. I wasn't impressed with it, and have a very cheap and very effective routine that keeps my skin looking good. I feel very strange every time I see her and this was years ago.

Never again.