Found out 2 8th graders at DD's middle school are pregnant

[jacksonsmom]

But, then there's the group of kids who do it on purpose to be cool. And I know we can't really lump them together but we probably should. Maybe there needs to be more of a stigma about teen pregnancy instead of more understanding. It's getting ridiculous.

I totally agree. I have a best friend who got pg at 15 & had her son at 16. We are still good friends, she LEARNED from her mistake & she made sure it did not happen again. I have talked to her about this & she has told me although she loves her son dearly she does wish she would have been older, at least out of H.S., before she had him. She said it was really tough & she missed out on a lot of teenage things because she had to be "mom".

I also know girls who think it is so 'cool' to be pregnant & to be a teenage mom. Those girls I do not feel sorry for. I can be understanding if it was an accident & you LEARN from your mistake, but to keep getting pregnant & again & again while you are not even out of H.S.......don't come to me about your problems because you made your bed, now lay in it!

 

[va32h]

On one hand I want to be open-minded and supportive of teen mothers because accidents happen

I might agree if the girls were 19, but not 13. No thirteen year old child should be having sex. My mind will never be open enough to consider 13 year olds having sexual intercourse acceptable.

I just can't see this as an "accidents happen" situation, because again, they should not have been having sex in the first place.

I realize that's not much help now that the deed is done, but I would hope that these girls get some kind of counseling so that this does not happen again next year, and the year after that, and the year after that.

 

[chobie]

One of our 8th grade students was pregnant last year. I believe she had an abortion. The best part about all of this was it happened when she was in 7th grade, and the father was a junior in high school. As one of her teachers, I kept wondering where were her parents? This supposedly happened at her home after school.
We haven't had any so far this year, but the year isn't over yet.

What was a 17 year old doing with a 13 year old? In most states that would be considered statutory rape.

 

[missypie]

When I was in Jr. High, one girl had a baby the summer after 7th grade and another had a baby the summer after 8th grade. At that time I was barely into puberty and could not IMAGINE getting intimate with any guy I knew - had never even kissed a boy.

 

[gottaluvPluto]

I work with a lot of pregnant teens. Most of the teens that are pregnant have moms that became pregnant when they were teens or fathers are not involved, sometimes both. You have parents that feel it is normal to get pregnant young. Then you have the parents who think "not my kid she/he signed the I won't have sex thing." When I go out and talk to teenagers they tell me they signed the won't have sex form, but go out and do it anyway. Oral sex is becoming a HUGE problem and we are starting to see it in the upper elementary grades. Kids feel that oral sex is safe and it isn't really sex.

Oh! Middle schools kids have contests to see how many boys or girls they can have sex with. SCARY!!!

 

[Cindy B]

I had a girl in my 8th grade class pregnant as well, and this was well, ove r
20 years ago.

It happens.

I don't think the approach of telling the studens via assembly was tactful. If I was in the situation I would not want my business broadcast like that.

And if I was the parent, I would be talking to the school about that as well.

 

[janice1234]

transparant, that is the sadest story i have read, that poor girl. i am glad you are helping her out. what a sad world for kids to grow up in.

 

[Beth76]

I might agree if the girls were 19, but not 13. No thirteen year old child should be having sex. My mind will never be open enough to consider 13 year olds having sexual intercourse acceptable.

Oh, I agree with you too. I actually meant being open-minded about the older teenagers, not the 13-year-olds. I guess I meant to lump the 13-, 14-, 15-year-olds in the "being cool" catergory. I totally do not believe it's OK for anyone that young to be having a baby, nor would I be supportive of them. I guess I should have clarified.

 

[trappednabox]

I knew 2 girls in 8th grade who were preggers, and one in the 6th grade!!! When I was in 6th grade I think I would have died if I found out I was preggers!!! I would die now if it happend and I'm 26 now!

 

[boo's mom]

I know a girl who got pregnant at 15, had a girl, and just had another baby, a boy, by a different boy at age 18-19. My mother's stepsister had 5 kids by the age of 23. I had a neighbor who knew a family back in Virginia Beach who had a 9 year old pregnant with twins. My neighbor down the street, her 14-15 year old granddaughters are pregnant. the one I knew was a tramp but the other one is definitely surprising. One is due in August, the other in September. From what I heard, the grandmother is happy about it. She babysits, whats two more around the house. She said there isn't much she can do so she's got to be happy about it now(or so I've heard) . Its a shame.

 

[trappednabox]

I know a girl who got pregnant at 15, had a girl, and just had another baby, a boy, by a different boy at age 18-19. My mother's stepsister had 5 kids by the age of 23. I had a neighbor who knew a family back in Virginia Beach who had a 9 year old pregnant with twins. My neighbor down the street, her 14-15 year old granddaughters are pregnant. the one I knew was a tramp but the other one is definitely surprising. One is due in August, the other in September. From what I heard, the grandmother is happy about it. She babysits, whats two more around the house. She said there isn't much she can do so she's got to be happy about it now(or so I've heard) . Its a shame.

My cousin got preggers at 15 and her mom and dad were happy!!!! Hello! How can that make you happy?

 

[Ronda93]

Was talking to our DD's yesterday (the 2 in 7th grade) & found out that 2 girls in 8th grade are pregnant - from the same boy.

I know you said the girls plan to put the babies up for adoption, but that's a lot of child support. I suppose his parents would have to pay it? This could be a good lesson for the boys.

Someone else touched on this, but the girls become novelties. The attention and concern shown them (now) by parents, classmates and school workers could make pregnancy irresistable to a young girl lost in adolescence.

I'm not that old, but in my youth pregnant girls were shamed, not celebrated. I don't mean bright red As on their bodice, but without fail everyone who heard said, "what a shame."

Now school districts provide before and after school care for the infants of their students in hopes of keeping them in school. I hope it works, but providing day care for 14 year olds boggles my mind.

They have to be driven to their own baby showers.

 

[Chim Chiminy]

It was quite common in my hometown, in Texas, to have sex in Junior High.
In seventh grade I was 12 and most of my friends were sexually active. I couldn't even imagine kissing a boy at that age!
By tenth grade I had three friends who had kids, one of them twins. This is not a new problem..........

One thing that scares me is that a lot of kids are signing the virginity pledges, yet they are having o*** sex as well as a*** sex. Why? Because they don't consider either of those to be sex!! They aren't losing their virginity so it doesn't count.

We have been talking to our DS11 since he was five about these issues and just had a very interesting conversation over dinner a couple weeks ago with him. We talk to our DD5 as well. I can only hope they bear these talks in mind when that time comes to make a decision and that the standards we try and instill in them hold true.
Sometimes it is kind of hard because DS11 knows I had him when I was just 19 and DH was 20.

 

[DisneyCP2002]

It's a sad, scary story but very real in today's world. Kids having kids is rampant and some of it could be stopped with parental involvement. It's also peer pressure because it's the cool "in" thing now. In my JH/HS this wasn't something ever talked about but I know several did have kids.

 

[SillyMe]

Good heavens. If it were my 8th grader - quiet abortion, and the school district would never have known a thing, and I hope that it would be a terrifying wake-up call for my daughter. Those two girls are now outcasts for the rest of high school - they will never be pursued by quality guys, they will never have "good girl" friends - the stigma is so strong.

Wow, I actually agree with you. I cannot imagine my 13 yo dd giving birth.

While I'm not shocked that kids this young are having sex, I just can't imagine how they have the guts to go through with it. Heck, even in high school, the thought of it scared me to death!

 

[sha_lyn]

had a 9th grade classmate that was PG at 14, gave birth at 15. Got pg again the next yr. Gave the second kid up for adoption. Got PG again the following yr and finally married the dad (same father for all 3). They split up not long after the 3 was born, but I swear I remember that she was PG again with their 4th by her 18 or 19 bday and he walked out because she was PG again.

 

[ZachnElli]

A year ago I would have been shocked by it. But since we started the adoption process, I am not. Our failed adoption was a 16 year old birthmom who was having her second child. The first one she had when she was 14. The older baby had been in foster care already. The day she was to sign the adoption papers, her family showed up and talked her out of it. She wrote in her adoption profile that she had never met her own dad. Most teenagers now keep their babies and don't go through with the adoption. The younger they are, the more likely they are to keep them. That's a fact you can read in any book on adoption. Very sad. Noah's birthmom (the baby in my siggie) is 35.

 

[chobie]

Wow, I actually agree with you. I cannot imagine my 13 yo dd giving birth.

While I'm not shocked that kids this young are having sex, I just can't imagine how they have the guts to go through with it. Heck, even in high school, the thought of it scared me to death!

I don't know the actual statistics, but I believe many girls that engage in sex at very young ages have been molested.

 

[vald1977]

Dd9 knows about sex, and periods, and babies. We have also taught her that sex is for grown ups, and it is not something that you do until you are a grown up yourself.

This is why it bothers me so very much when I see young kids encouraged to dress, act, and do things that have traditionally been for teens.

Kids think - hey I can dress like an adult, see R rated movies, wear makeup, high heels, have my own cellphone, hang out at the mall by myself, buy my own clothes and CDs, go to concerts -- I'm not a "kid". Having sex is just another cool thing that I can do.

It sickens me when I see girls my daughters age dressed like little adults (and skanky little adults to boot). It doesn't surprise me a bit that two 13 year olds are pregnant - we have totally obscured the line between childhood and adulthood.

ITA.

I see 6-7 year olds dressing and acting like they are teens all the time and I wonder what their lives will be like at 13. We are expecting a little girl in July and I've already talked to DH about the clothing issue. No daughter of mine is gonna be showing her tummy and wearing knee high boots in grade school if I can help it . Thankfully, he agrees with me.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

In the district where I work I see this rarely, but I do see it. As an impartial observer I can say that in the HS, it's rarely the "cool" kids getting knocked up. The majority of the pregnant girls are lower income and low self-esteem. And to these kids adoption is much worse than abortion. I've never understood that. I also wish it was like it was when I was in HS when being pregnant was a huge scandal.
I had a discussion with DD#1 (13, 7th grade) about this once. I told her that this family is very, very fertile and every time we tried to get pregnant it worked immediately! And that if she ever was getting carried away in the back seat of a car or something and considering having sex without protection, she'd better remember what a fertile family she comes from! Of course she was disgusted and "I'd never do that Mom", but I hope the message got through. It bothers me that she says everyone calls each other "sluts" and "hos",(not in front of parents mind you, but in school) "but they don't mean it Mom". I don't think those are words to just toss around these days.
Robin M.