Goofy_Disney_Dad
Can go Grumpy on occasion too...
- Joined
- May 26, 2010
Well that answered the question.
I see what you did there...
Well that answered the question.
Yes it is horrible. Yes the parents should be prosecuted but it is not indicative of the way the vast majority of adoptions go.
Having having adopted from foster care myself, I normally would agree, but this family did not appear to seek any assistance when things went wrong. The state workers workers knew nothing about the children having problems. He gave them to a man who he recently fired for being unreliable. They kept the adoption subsidy they received after they sent the girls away. Adopting kids with psychological issues is hard, very hard. But what they did is unconscionable. If they needed to disrupt the adoption there are ways to do that. Ways that protect the children.Until a person has gone through the process of adopting or raising a birth child that has significant challenges, you can not judge the decision to allow another family to raise the child. In this case, it went horrifically wrong and it should always be done through proper channels, but I can understand the feeling of not being able to help your child.
I adopted through foster care and know several people who did as well. My children will be with us for 4 years this month. For 3 years, I was not able to help my youngest. For the most part, he is an amazing, wonderful, intelligent child with the heart of gold. On other days though, he was like Satan. He would beat me up literally, with a few times that I had to call the police. This was when he was only 8, but had been through such trauma in his life that he did not know how to cope with it any other way. I tried several psychiatrists, several therapists, to no avail. Finally, I found a psychiatrist who was able to properly diagnose him and put him on the right medication. I would cry myself to sleep and pray for strength to keep going. It was not easy. Another family I know may not be able to make it through because the child is a safety concern at this point for them and their other child.
You always pick the worst adoption cases to display due to your known hatred of adoption. Well mine is a happy story in the end. My son just turned 12, doing great, and while there are struggles, they are your typical family struggles. He tells me on a daily basis that I am the best mom he has ever had, and I can not say I am the only mom so that means a lot to me. Adoption is a wonderful and rewarding experience most of the time. But I will not sit in judgment of those that have to make the hard decision to relinquish parental rights.
Look up the OP's old posts. There was something about finding out her late father's blood type only stood a very small chance of producing someone with her blood type. She found his blood type on an old blood donation card, so who knows if it was even correct. She confronted her mother, and if I remember correctly, mom wouldn't engage with her on the subject. She has somehow lumped together that her father may not have been her bio dad, with an intense hatred for adoption and scours the internet for adoptions gone wrong stories. She then shares them here, under the pretense of concern for adoptees. If you can find the blood type thread, it is a doozy.I can not imagine why, in a hundred million years, anyone would have an overtly negative view on adoptions?
If that statement is true, regarding this poster, then I imagine that there might have been a very negative personal experience?[/B]
But, to answer the question, these laws vary State by State.
At least I do not think that this is something covered by overriding Federal laws.
I would imagine that in many cases, where the adoption was a foster adoption within the State, where the State severed the parents rights (State Custody), and it were considered to be in the child's best interests, the State would take on the responsibility for finding a more appropriate placement for a child that they had taken custody of.
In most States, yes, it would be highly illegal to just abandon a child, or to basically abandon them to other parent(s).
This is the idea of the Safe-Dropoffs for infants, and is the one only other legal way to abandon a child.
Having having adopted from foster care myself, I normally would agree, but this family did not appear to seek any assistance when things went wrong. The state workers workers knew nothing about the children having problems. He gave them to a man who he recently fired for being unreliable. They kept the adoption subsidy they received after they sent the girls away. Adopting kids with psychological issues is hard, very hard. But what they did is unconscionable. If they needed to disrupt the adoption there are ways to do that. Ways that protect the children.
Amen.Paula, please, I urge you to seek out a licensed therapist, for your own well-being.
Please do.Paula, please, I urge you to seek out a licensed therapist, for your own well-being.
So?The news on the Harris's abandoning these three girls has got worse, they were warned not to adopt them, they were warned that they were not a good match for the children because they were aggressive due abuse, that the GAL didn't want them to be adopted but the senator had used influence to get the girls.
http://www.arktimes.com/ArkansasBlo...mily-disputes-key-staments-from-justin-harris
"And at the hearing, the ad litem attorney — you know, the one who is representing only the interests of the children — said, 'When we met less than a couple of days ago, everyone's recommendation was for these kids to not go to this home. Now, what has happened in the last 24 hours that everyone's recommendation has changed?'"
"Harris' face was getting all red," Cheryl said. "And the ad litem asked him, 'Did you make calls?' And he finally said, 'I did what I had to do to get these girls.' I expected the judge would [stop the adoption] but she gave them the oldest girl." The younger two soon followed.
Ethical adoption can be good, ethical with both mother and father making the choice. What is sad is unethical adoption were the father is considered to be an inconvience to these wanting the baby. The adoptions were fathers who fight for years to get their children like Terry Achane a man who was deceived by his wife.
The news on the Harris's abandoning these three girls has got worse, they were warned not to adopt them, they were warned that they were not a good match for the children because they were aggressive due abuse, that the GAL didn't want them to be adopted but the senator had used influence to get the girls.
http://www.arktimes.com/ArkansasBlo...mily-disputes-key-staments-from-justin-harris
"And at the hearing, the ad litem attorney — you know, the one who is representing only the interests of the children — said, 'When we met less than a couple of days ago, everyone's recommendation was for these kids to not go to this home. Now, what has happened in the last 24 hours that everyone's recommendation has changed?'"
"Harris' face was getting all red," Cheryl said. "And the ad litem asked him, 'Did you make calls?' And he finally said, 'I did what I had to do to get these girls.' I expected the judge would [stop the adoption] but she gave them the oldest girl." The younger two soon followed.
Ethical adoption can be good, ethical with both mother and father making the choice. What is sad is unethical adoption were the father is considered to be an inconvience to these wanting the baby. The adoptions were fathers who fight for years to get their children like Terry Achane a man who was deceived by his wife.