For women who have had babies-Did you allow your father to see the delivery?

[Jeanny]

Originally posted by Randi
Call me old-fashioned, but I never thought of having a baby as a spectator sport. Heck, I didn't even want to see what was going on! In my opinion, the best part is afterward when you actually get to meet your baby.
It's nice to have a choice now though for those who want family around them.

I totally agree!! there are parts of a person that a parent just shouldn't see after a certain age (yours AND theirs!!). I know, I know, birth is a wonderful process, but I was alone when I had my daughter, my parents were in the waiting room and were standing at the end of the hall when I was wheeled out out the delivery room. The hospital already had 2 new patients, they didn't need any more. My dad would have been on the floor in the delivery room!!!

I guess I'm just too modest and old-fashioned

 

[spearenb]

Ok, I know I am breaking the rules by responding to this since I am a man. However, I must share that I was on the video camera for my sister for both of her sons' births.

I don't think it felt weird for her because she was pretty well doped up (and actually asked me before she went into labor) and I really didn't feel weird because I saw it for what it was... absolute miracles..... how in the world did something that big come through something that small?!?!?!? Though, I didn't want anyone with me in the ER when I passed a kidney stone... different story so I will drop it.

BTW, I did see my DD and DS born too.

 

[heart4pooh]

I went into labor at 1 am. By morning I had my MIL and both SIL's and two nieces sitting in a semi circle at the foot of my bed!!! I was in shock and told my husband to get them out!!! The nurse apologized and said my husband said it would be OK. What a nuckle head. He still can't say no to them.... Anyhow, 44 hours later my son was born with just my husband in the room.

 

[froglady]

Had I asked my father to be in the delivery room, I know he would have refused. He was too embarrassed to stay in the same room with me while I nursed my babies, despite my mother having bf five of his children.

My DH was deployed for my first delivery, so my mother went to classes with me so she could be my coach. However, my DH got back three days before the delivery. They only allowed one other person on the labor deck; despite his lack of "training", I opted for my DH.

My second was a planned c-section, so I only had my DH with me.

 

[Disney Ella]

If I were performing in a play or signing the national anthem at a baseball game, then I'd want everyone there. But for something as messy, bloody and painful as giving birth, at a time when I wouldn't be at my best, I would want the absolute minimum people there. Even if my DH hadn't been there, it wouldn't have been that big of a deal to me. It wasn't like he could do anything that actually helped and I was too busy concentrating on what I was doing to actually care that he was there. We had twins and by the time the second one was born, he couldn't take anymore and had to leave the room. I didn't mind at all. There is no way I would want my father in there, or my mother either.

 

[BrerMom]

I'm definitely with the "just DH" crowd. Our friend was the ob-gyn nurse with our third, but I think that's a little different.

After my MIL attended the birth of SIL's DD, she told me that she realized now what she had been cheated out of seeing.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Yes, my Father was there because I invited him to be. He was also there for the birth of my Nephew who was born 3 months before DD. He said it was the most beautiful experience in his life. Why? Because he did not get to see my DSis and I born and he felt honored that we asked him to be there. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Originally posted by jipsy

I don't think your father would be looking at your "you know", as you put it. It's my understanding they observe from being behind your head.

My Dad watched from the front because I had a water birth and was not in a hospital. I was naked from head to toe because I labored in water. I was too busy concentrating on my contractions to really care who was in the room.

My Mom and Dad did not stay in there for the whole labor. They came in when I was ready to push.

I invited MIL but she said no thanks!

 

[Goofymum]

When I had my DS I had so many family members piling into my room the Nurses and Dr were kicking them out lol. I don't think they were looking at anything, but I was in too much pain to care. My epi had worn off and the doctor didn't believe me. At about 1:30 AM they decided they had to do an emergency C-Section and I didn't want no one but my mommy with me lol.

 

[lulugirl]

If you weren't there for the conception I don't want you there for the delivery! (medical team excluded, of course....)

 

[skuttle]

The only person I had with me was DH...I didn't want anyone else in there.

 

[Tiggerkeeper]

I had to laugh when I read this because it reminded me of when DS was born (1st grandchild) my dad couldn't even stand to sit in the labor room with me when DH went to eat. I was in labor 21 hours and poor DH was starved and tired with no one around to give him a break!! Daddy said I wasn't there when you were born and I am not going be be here when you give birth. Later, he said he couldn't stand to see me in pain!

When I was finally moved to the delivery room the Dr. said is the father attending? Poor DH was out wandering the hallways trying to find where he was supposed to be....I almost delivered alone!

I attended when my godson was born...good thing though, the daddy passed out early on and had to leave!

 

[poohandwendy]

I wasn't an option when my father was alive (with my first)...but it wouldn't have bothered me if he were there...I see birth as a totally pure and natural thing...

 

[Talking Hands]

My kids are 26 and 21. First time my husband was not allowed to be in the OR since I was in the general OR and not the OB OR. Second time I invited him but he didn't wish to be. He was in a waiting room next door to the OB OR and saw her as soon as they took her to the special nursery.

 

[Lewski709]

NO
but, if you have a close relationship and feel ok with it, go for it.

 

[goodstarr]

Originally posted by jipsy
I don't think your father would be looking at your "you know", as you put it. It's my understanding they observe from being behind your head. [/B]

I'm not so sure about that. On those tv shows, those men are looking straight at the head crowning (you can see it in their faces). The FOB (father of the baby) is at the head of the bed. Maybe it's just me. I never nursed in front of any men other than DH (and yes, I nursed in public discreetly) and all of my healthcare givers are women (even my dentist )

 

[minniecarousel]

NO. My Dad didn't see any of his own children born - he had no interest in seeing any grandchildren being born!

Older DS is 24 now and DH & I lived 50 miles from my doctor (but, hey, it was convenient to where I worked!). My parents lived about 5 miles from the hosp, so after an appt, the doc said don't go home, but I can't admit you yet, so we went to my parents house. My water broke right in their kitchen! Poor Dad! he just kept pouring himself drinks! (funny - DH's business partner was at my folks' house too - since DH wasn't going in to work for a little while - they needed to talk - quite a crowd to see my water break!)

 

[poohandwendy]

Wow, I am surprised at the modesty here....we are talking about your own father...I guess I am just not very modest...

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Originally posted by poohandwendy
Wow, I am surprised at the modesty here....we are talking about your own father...I guess I am just not very modest...

Me neither!

 

[Lanshark]

Ain't no way!

 

[skuttle]

I already answered that only DH was with me as that's all I wanted. However, I don't think my dad would have been there even if I had asked. After DS was born, every time I had to get out of bed to go to the bathroom or the nurses would come in to check me or I would try to breastfeed, my dad would leave the room. LOL!