For women only, what do you think?

Wow. Since I'm in my late 30s and never been married, I'm clearly a weirdo as far as some here are concerned. Good to know.

I see that many who have responded negatively are currently married. Do you have any idea how difficult it can be to meet "the one" once you get out of your 20s?

I'm also wondering: what if we were talking about a 45 year old female virgin? Would the opinions be the same?

It is a lot harder to find the right person after you hit your 30's.....seeing as most of the good ones are usually already married! And some are already married, divorced and have children. I honestly believe that many people just settle for someone "good enough", but that's a whole 'nother topic! :thumbsup2

And NO!!! I don't think anyone who isn't married by 30 is a weirdo, or that a virgin at any age is a weirdo either. Some people don't view sex as a learning experience, a fun past time, or simply a physical transaction between two people.......does that make them weird?

I hardly think that people who wait to have sex until they find someone they want to make a lifelong committment to are weird. :confused3 I think it is admirable.

Long answer to a short question.....I would've loved to have married a virgin and wouldn't mind teaching a virgin "the ropes" :lmao:

And I would absolutely NOT have a relationship with a man who had slept with numerous women, talk about fear of committment! And who needs all the worries about HPV, long-lost children, etc? :sad2:
 
It is a lot harder to find the right person after you hit your 30's.....seeing as most of the good ones are usually already married! And some are already married, divorced and have children. I honestly believe that many people just settle for someone "good enough", but that's a whole 'nother topic! :thumbsup2

And NO!!! I don't think anyone who isn't married by 30 is a weirdo, or that a virgin at any age is a weirdo either. Some people don't view sex as a learning experience, a fun past time, or simply a physical transaction between two people.......does that make them weird?

I hardly think that people who wait to have sex until they find someone they want to make a lifelong committment to are weird. :confused3 I think it is admirable.

Long answer to a short question.....I would've loved to have married a virgin and wouldn't mind teaching a virgin "the ropes" :lmao:

And I would absolutely NOT have a relationship with a man who had slept with numerous women, talk about fear of committment! And who needs all the worries about HPV, long-lost children, etc? :sad2:

Very well said! I agree with you. :thumbsup2

I was a virgin when I married my husband last year (two weeks away from being 23). My Dh had a very horrible experience when he lost his virginity at 15 with this psycho ***** (don't even get me started on that story...ugh.). Anyway, he had sex that one time before he started dating at me. When we started dating, I was 17 and he was 16. He was my first boyfriend. I had always wanted to wait till I was married to have sex, and he respected that. There is always other stuff to do in between. hehe. A lot of people I know that this was weird even though we are still "young."

I have never believed in that thing about "giving a test drive." I believe if you are in love with someone and they are in love with you, it will work out. Since neither of us basically had any experience, I wasn't sure what to expect. The first time was not "horrible" or "fumbling" as I have heard a lot of people describe. ;)

Back to the main point, while I do think it is very unusual and a little troublesome that this man is a 45 year old virgin, I would not automatically say I wouldn't date him. I would like to know the story behind this as others have mentioned. If if was a moral reason, he never found the right woman, or he was shy (or something similar) I would def consider dating him. I wouldn't want to write someone off just for their lack of experience. If there was something creepy about him, then I def wouldn't, of course.

Even though my husband and just had sex that one time (he was drunk at a party and didn't know her very well but I did and she was really mean to me, etc, etc long story), I would have LOVED if he had been an actual virgin. I have a lot of anger towards that girl and the fact that his "gift" (as I consider it) was wasted. He really regrets it now. It would have been wonderful to completely totally share everything new about the experience. By saying this, I would say that it is a def plus this guy would not have other baggage from past experience or anything to compare his first experience to. :)

Anyway, I thinking getting to know him better as a friend might be a good way to start, if I were in the situation. Then see what happens from there.
 
I would date a 45 year old virgin if he's a nice guy, emotionally stable, and treats me well. Personally, I think it's better to be a virgin than to be promiscuous.
 
How do you even know he is virgin? Did he tell someone? That's personal information to me and the person he shared it with shouldn't be telling other people that (I would have a problem with the person passing around that kind of gossip about someone). Or, are you assuming he is a virgin based on other stereotypical factors? Having said all that, chemistry is very important. Go on some dates to see if feelings develop. If not, move on.
 

I'd be very wary of a man who wasn't married or had some long-term relationship by the time they were 45.

Not to say there's not someone out in the big wide world who's perfectly normal like this, but the odds run highly against it, frankly.
 
I find this thread very interesting ;)

I gotta agree with the PP's who said they would date a virgin, but would need a "test drive" before marrying the guy. Sex is an important part of marriage and I personally would want to know what I'm getting into before committing the rest of my life. I'd at least want to know that he is trainable :rotfl: I'm 36 and still looking for "The One" and it is def harder to meet -- let's just say "worthy" partners as you get older :lmao: And I can say that I am MUCH more selective now that I am older -- so maybe that's what's up with this guy. He didn't find anyone worthy while he was younger and as he got older, his standards got higher and before he knew it, he was 45 :confused3
 
I did this. I wouldn't do it again. It really indicated a fundamental disconnect in values, a desire to have things ideal instead of good enough, and, for this guy, was an indication he hadn't managed to grow up.
 
/
Okay, look. I'm seeing some very ugly attitudes on this thread. I was going to post my story with a very non-descript style, to hide that I was talking about myself. BUT, I've got nothing to be ashamed of here. So, let me say it...

I'm 41 and I'm a virgin.

Yes, I'm female, so maybe some of you think that makes a difference from what the thread is about. But, I don't see any reason why it should be different for men or women. The facts for me are these: I had one opportunity with one guy in college, who I went out with twice and who I refused because it simply wasn't happening for me that night. I'm extremely thankful that I did turn him down because I later found out from a mutual friend that he'd previously been an IV drug user. Did I know that would end up being my only opportunity? Nope. Would I have made a different decision if I had known it might be my only chance? Nope.

I've asked guys out over the years. Some have said "yes", but the date never happened, because one wanted me to promise I'd never leave him (before we even went on a first date!!!), one I realized was an angry alcoholic. Two simply never responded (asked in writing, because locations prevented doing so in person). No one, except the guy in college and a particularly creepy tall ship sailor, has ever asked me out. Why? No idea. I've asked friends and colleagues, but no one can seem to figure it out. I'm not the easiest person to approach, but that tends to happen when you've been forced to get by on your own for so many years. I do get out in the world and have fun and enjoy interacting with other people, so I'm not a shut-in who doesn't socialize.

Sometimes, that's just how life goes. Could be the same for anyone. Just because you've been fortunate enough to live a life that fits the "normal", doesn't mean that you should look down upon those whose lives have not fit that mold. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with us, doesn't mean we're asexual, doesn't mean we don't want to share our lives and adventures with someone else. Just means that life hasn't shaken out that way for us. But, against all reason, people like me may still hold onto the hope that someone will come along who likes us as much as we like them and isn't inclined to judge us harshly simply because we're not experienced. I assure you, I've got a heck of a lot to offer when someone does come along.

I'd never sleep with someone simply for the sake of experience. Never. It's simply not in my nature. Believe me, I've pondered that idea many hours. Can't do it. I'm not religious at all, but I do have a moral code and something like that violates it.

Being a virgin at this age is not easy. It's something I tend to hide, even from my closest friends, because it's looked upon as so unusual, as something to be ashamed of. But, it's just life. I don't need to be ashamed. Those of you who judge someone like me because I don't fit your idea of how things should be are the ones who should be ashamed. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm a friendly, social woman with a strong sense of self-respect. And while it sometimes brings me to tears, to feel that no man out there will ever be interested in me, I'm living my life the best I know how and I'm still taking chances here and there by pursuing a man who interests me. Hope springs eternal. And, if I never have the opportunity to enjoy an intimate relationship... well, that's just how it is. I've also never had to worry about unintended pregancy or AIDS. And, I've lived a full and exciting "abnormal" life.

So, to the OP: Yeah, I'd date a guy who's a 45 year old virgin. As long as he's a decent human being, who am I to judge the circumstances that lead him to where he is today? If I got into a relationship with him and the time came to take things to that level and he refused, that's when I'd end it. But, if he was willing and I was willing, who cares if it's new to him (or me)? Gosh, think of all the fun you could have trying new things and being the one to bring him into the world of intimacy and love. Wouldn't that be something great? Judge the guy by who he is as a human being, not by what "normal" experiences he has or hasn't had.
 
I would not be turned off by a virgin. I would be turned off by someone who thought that he was owed sex by any woman that he was attracted to and didn't consider another man's property, and we have all met such men.
 
One of the kindest men I ever met spent a large part of his
time caring for an ill parent from a very young age. When
they finally needed no more care, he felt free to pursue
a meaningful relationship and is a jewel---reliable, dependable,
and caring. He is engaged and treats his beloved with great love.
His life has not been easy and he has learned to cherish the good
times.
 

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