? for Women - A younger man

[chell]

What do you think of an older woman with a younger man? Boy seems to be more like it but he is at least of legal age. You know how a woman can have a little fantasy of being with a younger inexperienced man to teach him a few things? If you had the chance and you weren't married or anything would you do it?

Is it okay to have a relationship just for fun? Or will you only get involved in a relationship if you know it can go somewhere in the long term area?

 

[Disney Doll]

"Younger man" is somewhat subjective.

I'm 43. A 33 year old guy would be fine for me to date, IMHO, if he wasn't too busy chasing after the 23 year old cutie!!!! A 23 year old guy would be a different story.

I guess 10 years is about as "younger" as I would go, because after that, I think you're pushing it as far as what you'd have in common.

Now I'll sit back and wait to hear from all the DISers who have dated someone 20 years younger and had it be wonderful.

 

[luvmydogs]

I wasn't in what one would call a "relationship" with a younger man, but we really enjoyed each other's company, had great fun together and to this day remain very, very good friends. There was an age difference of 8 years (yes, he was legal--but barely! ), and we understood that we were just at different places in life and that a relationship wouldn't work out in the long term. We were always up front about expectations, though--neither of us wanted hard feelings or hurt (but I think sometimes that's hard to achieve, as he did admit later that he had developed feelings for me--and truth be told, I did for him, too). But I have never regreted our time together and still think of him with great fondness.

 

[chell]

Thanks Disney Doll.

Thanks Kim. That sounds more like what he and I are talking about. Thing is that I've never had that kind of friend before and I don't want to ruin our friendship either but the possibilities are exciting. But who knows, we may be even closer afterwards.

 

[luvmydogs]

Chell, I will tell you this. He is still one of the closest friends I have. Nothing sexual has gone on between us since we were together, and although we live 700 miles away from each other and talk only once a year or so, he remains very, very dear to me.

ETA: This is just my own personal experience, I know these sorts of 'relationships' don't always work out this way, and I wouldn't want to give you the wrong impression. Think twice if you're concerned about your friendship--good friends are like gold.

 

[disneynutt1225]

Depends on the age difference, I suppose. My future mother in law is dating a man that is 13 years younger than her and it's become a real sore spot for us. It doesn't help that she had an affair with this man, and completely expects her two sons (my DFi and his brother) to welcome this man with open arms. Then she decides to announce they are going to get married (have I mentioned that she is still married?) - but not until March of 2007 (they don't want to steal the "thunder" from our wedding). This is kind of a sore spot for me, so I'm going to stop talking about it now....it's just very frustrating......grrr....

 

[Blondie]

I guess it depends on the age span. I would be concerned about the hurt factor. Would you be devastated if you fell head over heels for the guy & he suddenly stops seeing you for a girl his own age?

My MIL had an affair with a younger man that was as young as her youngest child. A 30 year age difference!

When I posted a thread about my MIL a few years ago and how concerned we all were, I got a slew of posts stating "age is only a number" and "love shows no bounderies" and "good for her" etc. type of posts. But let me tell you, if it was YOUR mother with a younger guy, especially with an age span as big a theirs, you'd be thinking the same thing we all were; that he had ulterior motives. He finally moved out (even though she said nothing was going on) but he still comes around now and then. We popped in for a surprise visit on Mother's Day, we live in Virginia, she's in Pennsylvania. When we walked in (after knocking for over 5 minutes and nobody answered) because she left her keys in the lock, he was there. She chased him upstairs without even introducing him to us! Only 2 of her 6 children have officially met him. The whole time we were knocking on the door, we were talking to her on our cell phone like we were calling from home to wish her a happy Mother's Day, so we knew she was home!

I guess I don't know what I'd do personally until I was in that situation, and how old the guy was. I'd have to wonder why he'd be interested in me with so many cute girls his own age out there.

 

[chell]

I'd have to wonder why he'd be interested in me with so many cute girls his own age out there.

Believe me I have wondered that a lot. We have been friends for a while and he knows me well, guess he knows what I'm really like and that doesn't scare him.

Neither of us are looking for anything long term, we just want to enjoy each other's company and have a little fun.

I've still got a while to think about it before I see him again and I'm sure I will not decide for certain until then. My guess is that I'll change my mind many times.

Thanks everyone for responding.

 

[antmaril]

I have a very good friend who is 47 married to man age 35. They are very happy and seem quite compatible. They have a three year old son adopted from Guatemala and are in the process of adopting a baby girl.

It works for them!

His parents (especially his mother) were a little put off by their relationship in the beginning. However, they have gotten used to it and all is well.

 

[PattnFmly]

When I was 36 I dated a man who was 20. He wasn't old enough to drink! But we had a blast together, he was fun, exciting, energetic, and a great listener! We had a great time while we were together and still see each other occasionally and get along well still. It was a little emotional when we broke up, as he was a bit more attached than I was, but he has rebounded nicely and is a wonderful guy. The only thing we didn't jell on was - music! I didn't like his and he didn't like mine! Ah well, I have that problem with my DH too - but we have to live with it now! We just take turns in the car with the radio .......