For wives: "Upgrading" engagement ring diamond

[suzannen]

On our 10th anniversary, DH asked if I wanted to upgrade and I said "no way am I changing THIS ring." But, my other hand was completely free to wear the gorgeous oval 3-stone past-present-future platinum ring we picked out. To me this was the perfect solution remembering both our struggling days and what we've built together. This year is our 19th anniversary and I'm still so happy this decision.

 

[mom2rb]

I never wanted to upgrade, so my grandmother put my ring on her credit card. It took DH three years to pay her off.

I do want an anniversary ring for my fifteenth. By twenty years, I will be paying for college and I will never spend the money.

Dawn, the picture of your ring is nice, but I want to see the Mickey necklace. I need to show that to DH.

 

[Justanopinion]

When we got engaged it was with a 6 prong setting ring.

Months later, when we went to get married DH had to get a band or ring guard for the wedding ring. The one he picked went with a 4 prong ring. So the day I got married I got a new engagement ring also.

We took the original 6 prong setting and has a ring guard made for it that is my mother's ring with all the kids birthstones. So I have the diamond that represents DH and I surrounded by the kids birthstones. It's perfect.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I would not upgrade my rings. I am way too sentimental. My dh picked it out and it is gorgeous. I only wish I could fit it on my chubby fingers right now!

 

[liamsaunt]

I would not trade my ring. My DH designed it and it is perfect for me.

 

[Frye7127]

When I turned 40, my DH told me my rings were looking tired. He told me I could go get a new one, a necklace, or ring and gave me a set amount to spend. He went out of town and I started the look. I ended up having my engagement diamond (pear) set in a necklace which is what I wanted any way and bought a 3-stone (oval) engagement ring which is what I loved. No regrets. He came back and I showed him what I wanted to do and he just laughed and said I knew you would find a way to do both.

 

[SpecialK]

Sure did upgrade, and don't regret it one bit!!!

We kept the original setting, but upgraded the stone substantially. I didn't have anything I really wanted to do with the old stone, so we traded it in.

I'm sentimental about keeping my husband. The jewelry- not so much.

Same here!

 

[Momvic5]

Recently, my Dh surprised me with a new wedding set. I can't tell you how shocked I was~ not only is it beautiful but my Dh did it all on his own. He planned, saved, and totally surprised me. I loved my first set and still do; however, I absolutely love my new set. It has just as much meaning if not more. I wear it with just as much love and sentimental value as my first. Like other posters have suggested, we took my engagement diamond and had it placed into a solitare setting for a necklace. I wear it everyday.

My opinion, if you want to upgrade then upgrade. Your wedding ring whether it is your original or not will still represent the love between you and your Dh. Go for what makes you happy!

 

[java]

I love my diamond (it's an oval) and wouldn't change it for anything.

I often look at my ring set and wish it were in white gold. At the time, I was wearing only yellow gold (and it was in style). Now I really only wear silver and white gold, so to me it feels "off."

I'd like to reset the diamond into a white gold setting (maybe with two smaller diamonds on either side), but haven't broached the subject with DH (and internally I'm having trouble justifying the expense).

We're celebrating 19 years next month, so maybe in time for our 20th....By the time I get it done, I'll probably be wearing yellow gold again!

You can very inexpensively have your ring dipped. Or Rhodiumed- *it's in the same family as platinum.It will turn silver colored.
It should last 5+years that way before it would start to rub off.

I had my tennis bracelet dipped and it's been that way for 7 years but I don't wear it everyday. It looks great still. I love it.

 

[goofy!]

I know we have a wide variety of people on this board, so I thought I'd ask. When DH and I got my engagement ring, the jeweler talked about "upgrading" to a larger stone in the future and how much of a "trade-in" we'd get as the years went by on the stone we selected.

Now, there is sentimentality attached to the stone and I was wondering if any wives have traded in their engagement diamonds for a larger diamond some time after the marriage. I imagine that keeping the ring itself and the setting and just getting a larger stone would be able to keep some of the sentimentality, but I am not sure how I feel about it. We're talking about getting a larger diamond for our 25th wedding anniversary.

Anyone here care to share thoughts on this?

-Dorothy (LadyZolt)

I am the sentimental kind. My original ring means so much to me so it will stay on my finger. It is a 1/2 carat solitaire with another 1/2 carat of smaller, inset stones.

However, that doesn't mean that I wouldn't love anything bigger

For our 20th anniversary, DH gave me a beautiful 3 stone anniversary ring with a 2 carat center stone and 1 carat side stones. It is gorgeous and I wear it on my right hand.

 

[Green Tea]

No, I don't want a larger engagement ring. I feel like it represents us at the time. BUT, and I feel a little guilty for this......my wedding band is narrow & yellow gold, which is exactly what I wanted at the time. But I really only wear silver now. I would like a wide platinum wedding band to wear alone. But I feel a little bad about wanting something different.

 

[Shyvioletisme]

personally, I think it's tacky to "upgrade". To me that's basically saying you were never happy with what you were originally given and have just been waiting for something better. If you don't like the ring at the time you're given it, don't accept it. That ring represents something special and by trading a stone in for something larger just seems wrong to me...but that's just my opinion...

 

[stsomewhere]

I got a new one.
I fell up the basement stairs and broke my wrist. It caused my hand to swell and my rings needed to be cut off.
They are in my jewlery box.

We went on cruise and Dh wanted my to get a new ring. It is beautiful.
It is a white gold setting with diamonds and a large tanzinite in the center. It is exactly what i had dreamed of. Dh wanted me to get a new ring to symbolize his new position in life. (promotion, successful, older. etc. he had a lot of reasons) We were engaged when we were in college so my engagement ring was small.
My new ring took me a while to get use to becasue it is quite a bit bigger than the old one.
I told him in another 13 years he can buy me a bigger one. He jsut laughed.

I love my new one. Dh got himself a titanium band for himelf. To us the rings are just a symbol.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

I don't have any real interest in upgrading. I think DH felt insecure about the size of the stone he was able to afford, and he always said when he gave it to me that he'd get it upgraded some day. However, since then, he's said that he feels kind of sentimental about it, and wouldn't want me to trade it in. I figure, if I ever need more carat power, I'll get jackets.

 

[MarkBarbieri]

As for whether you should keep it for sentimental reasons or not, that's a personal question that only you can answer. My concern, given the way so many people seem to spend money, is whether you should buy it from a financial perspective. It is clearly in the luxury expense category. Before I would even consider a big luxury expense like that, I would make sure that I'm comfortably on track with my retirement savings, carrying no unnecessary debt, have an adequate liquid emergency fund, etc. If you've done all of that and have the cash, do what makes you happy. If you haven't done all of that or need to borrow money to buy it, I'd highly recommend putting it off. Don't take from your future self to make your current self happier.

 

[liamsaunt]

It did not occur to me to mention this before. but we did change out our wedding bands. You see, we forgot to actually buy wedding bands until 8:45 PM on the evening before our wedding! So, we just ran to the mall and bought what they had in stock--plain gold bands. A couple of years ago we bought something more personal to us, and that is when I discovered that the mall jeweler had engaved DH's initials wrong, and even funnier, the mistake spelled out my dad's initials!

 

[MarkBarbieri]

We bought plain gold bands at a department store for our wedding. I hate wearing jewelry, so I don't wear mine. My wife eventually lost hers, so now she wears mine.

We're just not jewely people. Heck, I never even bought her an engagement ring. When we were getting engaged, we discussed our finances and I showed her the mutual funds that would make most sense to sell to finance the engagement ring. I also gave her the option of skipping the ring and keeping the money. We didn't have much saved at the time, so she opted to keep the money. Now that we're "rich", I suppose we could get one, but she's never expressed an interest. I'm pretty sure that if I offered to spend whatever a nice enagement ring costs, she'd push to use the money for more travel or landscaping.

 

[olena]

I can't imagine tampering with or replacing my engagement ring. Once done, it's just a new ring and no longer my engagement ring.

 

[monorailsilver]

I couldn't do it etiher.

I had to get rid of my original setting because they were gold prongs instead of platinum ones & that was not easy to do.

But I won't give it up now. It's not to big nor is it too small. It is just right for my hand.

 

[RichNKatHolly]

I would but its pear shaped

Yeah, I thinking that would look like something other than a Mickey.

As for "trading up" - my ring is still new as I just got it less than a year ago, but my DF designed it and from what I understand it took months to find the "right" diamond, etc. So, as of right now, I don't think I'd ever trade up.