For wives: "Upgrading" engagement ring diamond

[LadyZolt]

I know we have a wide variety of people on this board, so I thought I'd ask. When DH and I got my engagement ring, the jeweler talked about "upgrading" to a larger stone in the future and how much of a "trade-in" we'd get as the years went by on the stone we selected.

Now, there is sentimentality attached to the stone and I was wondering if any wives have traded in their engagement diamonds for a larger diamond some time after the marriage. I imagine that keeping the ring itself and the setting and just getting a larger stone would be able to keep some of the sentimentality, but I am not sure how I feel about it. We're talking about getting a larger diamond for our 25th wedding anniversary.

Anyone here care to share thoughts on this?

-Dorothy (LadyZolt)

 

[Piecey]

I don't want to upgrade.

DH took me with him to get my engagement ring and I hope I always remember that day. I don't care how big the diamond is, it's the ring itself and what it stands for that I forever want to keep.

If DH wants to get me a bigger rock later in life, I'll suggest a necklace or earrings.

 

[Saphire]

My DH proposed when he was 19, and my ring reflects what he could afford at that time. I have great fondness for that ring and could never, ever replace it with something else. I have other rings he has given me (anniversary, birthstone, etc.) but when I look at that ring I think about how young we were, so much in love and how happy I was to wear it. When I look down at it now (30 years later) it brings back all those feelings and I could never trade in those memories.

 

[diznygirl]

I agree with the previous posters. I am very sentimental, and the engagement ring and what he went through to get it means a lot to me.

There is always the other hand.

 

[1LuckyMom]

I've always been a huge fan of jewelery, but I could not trade in the stones from my engagement and wedding rings. The perfect solution to this is to design a ring that incorporates your original stones and adds a bigger one if you would like to upgrade. Of course this only works if you are willing to buy the new stone without the trade in value of the other one.

 

[TwinsinCA]

I agree with the others too. Dh and I were fairly young (21) when we got engaged. We were both in college and didn't have much money. Dh has actually offered to get a bigger stone for me but I have refused. THAT is the ring he used when he proposed and that is the one I want to keep.

 

[720L]

I upgraded my engagement ring for a new setting and bigger diamond...and totally regret it! I so wish I would have kept the setting and just put a bigger diamond in it!

 

[Buckalew11]

I know many people who have upgraded.

I have not. My engagement ring sits in my jewelry box year after year as it has since my 5th anniversary when he bought me asmall 5 stone anniversary band which is normally what I wear daily. I never wear my engagement ring unless I am getting very dressed up (like, I do not even wear it to church on Sundays). It sits up high and I hit it on things.

However, it was bought with money DH made through the raising of a tobacco crop. It was a long hard, hot summer that year and I'd go help him with it and it was very hard work with a lot of steps to the process. I had no idea what his plans were for that crop. Since I know the blood sweat and tears that went into affording that ring, I can't do anything with it (like trade it in or have it reset) I just can't do it. It has been 22 years and there it sits. DD can't wear it, she'd have to get it sized up or reset but I doubt it'll be a diamond that suits her personality.

Good luck with your decision.

 

[EMom]

I told DH he'd better get a decent diamond for me in the first place, because I was dying with the same ring I got engaged with......No trade ins or upgrades for me. I have the same policy for DH himself.

He can buy me other jewelry, but my wedding and engagement rings are forever.

 

[bumbershoot]

I'm not a diamond person, and tried to get hubby to understand that but he didn't for a few years, and from all of that, I know that I could upgrade (or downgrade, or over-grade by changing it to a non-diamond) at any time without either of us feeling sentimental or weird about it.

Especially since I'm the one that designed it with the help of our jeweler!

It's a symbol of the love that caused us to get engaged, and symbols are only symbols.

 

[vettechick99]

You might as well keep that diamond since trade-in/resale is pathetic at best. Can you incorporate that diamond into a new design?

I have my regular wedding set which I still love 5 years later, but DH gave me a nice band from Tiffany for Mother's Day last year. Occasionally I wear it instead of my set - just to keep things interesting!

 

[Disney Doll]

My original setting is already gone as it was a 4 prong setting, one of the prongs broke and we got it reset to a 6 prong setting.

To my way of thinking, the setting is less important than the stone, so I would never get rid of the stone but would be willing to change the setting.

 

[KathyTX]

Sure did upgrade, and don't regret it one bit!!!

We kept the original setting, but upgraded the stone substantially. I didn't have anything I really wanted to do with the old stone, so we traded it in.

I'm sentimental about keeping my husband. The jewelry- not so much.

 

[LoriKay]

My DH upgraded my diamond for our 10th anniversary. He thought we would be trading in the original diamond but I wasn't letting go of it so we had it set in a necklace and the new diamond set in my original ring setting. That was 8 years ago and I'm still happy with the decisions.

 

[*BTMRR*]

I can't imagine ever altering my original ring. Not the setting because I can picture that on my youthful hand as DH slipped it onto my finger for the first time. Not the diamond because the reason you get a diamond is that it is supposed to symbolize "forever" and that makes it especially sentimental for me.

I have a really beautiful anniversary band that DH gave me for our 10th anniversary. I think if you want to "upgrade" but are too sentimental about the original ring to mess with it, the anniversary band is a great solution.

 

[gaelic grace]

I won't upgrade either. I still don't know how my husband afforded the ring I have. We were in Grad school living off assistantships. I wanted him to pick it out and I wanted it paid for before we got married. I know a few of the things he did to raise the money and there were alot of boxes of ramen, cardboard pizzas and nights without sleep to accomplish it. It's not so much the ring but the tremendous sacrifice behind it that means so much to me.

 

[ZachnElli]

My DH got me a whole new ring for our 10th anniversary, it was a surprise. I love my newer ring (that was almost 7 years ago) and wear it everyday. I still have my original set, but it's sitting in a box. My mom has a new setting, but same stones. I have a good friend who has traded her's in so many times, I never know what she'll be wearing! They've been married over 30 years. I guess I lost the sentimental value when DH lost his ring. He almost drowned that day, so I didn't care about that ring, just my dh!

 

[LadyZolt]

Wow, thanks everyone! You've all given me a lot to think about. It is very interesting to me to see all these different stories and I guess I just have to make the decision that I think is right for us, and to not regret whatever I decide. This has been a really thought-provoking thread, so thanks again!

-Dorothy (LadyZolt)

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Dh bought me a new diamond for my original setting. I love it, he went from a 1/2 carat to a 1 1/2 carat. I get compliments on it all the time and never regret the new stone for even 1 second.

We have the original diamond and will probably make into something for DD (5) when she gets older.

 

[DisneymoonJess07]

We ended up upgrading, but almost accidentally. My ring "mysteriously disappeared" (police language) at work one day (I took it off in the bathroom, my mistake) and the insurance money gave us enough to get a slightly better diamond, but we went to the same jeweler and got almost exactly the same setting, but with a slightly nicer diamond. We looked upon it as sort of a payment for our distress about the ring disappearing. I had had the ring for about 2.5 years at that point, but I am hoping to keep this one and make it a family heirloom at some point.