For those that have lost a pet...

[mickey65]

How do you go on? What do you do to help ease the pain?

It has been 4 days now since Max died and it is still so hard. I cry all the time and I just can't seem to get on with things. I have been to the support boards for pet loss, but there are not that many people over there and few replies. I don't have that many friends and those that I do have are sympathatic, but they don't have pets of their own and they are having a hard time understanding my pain.

Can anyone help me out? I know many of us here have lots pets, and the Dis has always been a source of comfort. I just feel so sad and empty, like a part of me is gone too. I don't know what to do

 

[SplshMtn99]

First of all, I feel your pain. It has been over 1.5 yrs & I still miss her.

When Lucy died, we had her cremated. We found a nice couple on the web that make wooden boxes for pet ashes & they paint an exact likeness from photos you provide onto the box. This is where Lucy rests in peace now.

We also wrote Lucy a letter about everything she did that we liked & missed. We included this letter, along with a few of her favorite toys in the wooden box.

I do computer generated art as a hobby sometimes. I created a piece that I framed & have in our bedroom. It is of the Rainbow Bridge & has Lucy's picture worked into it.

Examples of art & wooden box here:
http://albums.photo.epson.com/j/AlbumIndex?u=4002141&a=30071057&f=0

I think non-pet lovers really don't understand. I cried for a LONG time. Lit candles for her periodically. Cuddle a stuffed animal that looks like her. Hold my other cat closer when I'm sad.

Good luck, it will get easier, but it will take time. I find that she still comes to me in my dreams.

 

[tiggerlover]

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your darling Max. I have never lost a pet but I do have a Max of my own who is very, very old and I can only imagine how terrible a loss it would be. {{{{BIG HUGS}}}}.

 

[Blondie]

What helped me was to start searching for another.

We told ourselves we were going to wait a few months, perhaps a year before getting another, but I just couldn't wait that long.

Since we are big fans of Weimaraners, we wanted another and the best way to get one is to make some phone calls. I was referred around a bit to breeders who may or may not have had a litter on the way, or ready. I even thought about going through the rescue league, filled out an application, etc.

I was given a phone call from the rescue league, and low and behold she only lived about an hour away from us (we were willing to drive a long distance to get another.)

We had to be interviewed by her first, fill out paper work, etc. (any good reliable breeder will do this) so I felt confident that we were coming home with a new Weimaraner puppy!

And we did, only about 2 weeks after we had our Briar put down.

Upon examining our new pup's pedigree, it gave us great comfort in seeing a bloodline connection to our first. They shared the same great great great grandparents--which was so cool because our first Weim was from Massachusettes, and here we are way down in Virginia!

I knew right then and there that he was sent to us from our first Weim, to ease the pain and help us go on.

When Shiloh was a puppy, he would look up at me, and it was so strange, because he would take on this old appearance, yet he was only 8 weeks old, it was like he had an old soul. I had to stop and think, Briar, are you in there?

And to this day, I still think that somehow, some way, this new little puppy was sent to us from Briar...sounds strange I know...

In time it'll get easier, but it will take time.

{{{hugs}}}

 

[Quasi123]

I understand what you are going through. My dog passed away a little over a year ago. That day was the worst day of my life. I was a complete wreck for the first week and my DH suggested we go away for a few days just to get away from the silence. Even with 2 children in the house I missed the little noises he made. My life just felt so empty. Going away did get my mind off things but I still miss him to this day. You have my deepest sympathy. Give yourself plenty of time to grieve.

 

[Taryn]

Mickey65,

I don't have an answer, I just wanted to give you a hug and say I will be follwing this thead.

Our Brutus (aka The BoohBear) passed on last night. Wow, just typing that has set me off again. My eyes feel like meatballs at this point.

My boyfriend gave up on sleep last night about 3am. He has been downstairs writing down memories that he does not want to fade about his fuzzy buddy. I don't know if it is helping... he has gone out for a walk now.

Me, I am just letting myself cry whenever I want, DISing like you and have the radio on because it is way too quiet.

Planning a total comfort food dinner since we still haven't eaten.

I know the pain is not going to be as sharp in a few weeks. I know we can make it and that this is just a road we have to travel to get to a place where we can remember and smile rather than cry.

Until then though I plan to yell, scream, cry, not vaccuum and try to think of a way to thank our wonderful vets.

Be good to yourself, it is a major loss, don't feel like you have to minimize it because your friend was not human.

*hugs... I kinda like the idea that maybe Brutus and Max are out there kind of sniffing each other out right now... small smile*

 

[Meriweather]

Time helps. but you will always miss him. They are a part of the family.
It's been almost two years for us......and I still think I hear him sometimes.
We buried him in the yard and have a nice headstone that we made. I planted flowers and also put artificial ones out there. In fact I'm putting fall leaves out today.

Have you tried here?
http://www.petloss.com/

Also here:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/

I had a dear friend that lost his beloved dog last spring. He really withdrew and was offline and out of touch for months.
It finally took a new puppy to bring joy back into his life .....but that isn't for everybody.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Years back, we had our two Siberian Huskies, Keemo and Tanya. When Keemo dies, we still had Tanya to ease, not eliminate the loss. When Tanya finally passed away, it was tough, but as Blondie said, time tends to heal. Now that Vince has his dog, Doc, here, we have already, even though he is only 3 years old, wondered about that inevitable day, sad it truly is. My {hugs} for you, mickey.

 

[mickey65]

Thank you everyone. I am going to try some of your suggestions.

And Taryn, my thoughts are with you, if you need to PM me you can.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs taryn}}}}}}}}}}}}}

 

[helenabear]

Losing a pet is like losing a family member to me. I have been rather fortunate, I have always had more than one pet at a time so when one passes on, I had at least one more around. It really helped to have them around to cuddle with and play with. I could tell we were both hurting and I think it was a great comfort to have the other around. Time does help heal wounds and I certainly hope that your pain heals soon Mickey {{{hugs}}}

Taryn, I am so sorry to hear about Brutus {{{hugs}}} to you as well.

 

[Saffron]

{{{{Hugs}}}}

 

[KaraKW]

My beloved cat died in 1996 and I still cry my heart out whenever I think about her. I'm not sure the pain ever goes away entirely, but it does lessen. I, too, sobbed for several days after losing Cream Puff (pictured in my signature below). I was practically hysterical when my mom called me at college to tell me about her passing. The bonds we have with pets are extraordinary and in some ways exceed those we have with other people, in that it is a relationship that is so unconsidtional and exists without words. There is no cure to get past the grief. Just time. Sending tons of {{{HUGS}}} your way.

 

[Robinrs]

Oh, Taryn and Mickey65:

Lord knows I know your pain...

I lost my dog Peppy 25 years ago and it STILL hurts. In fact, I was never able to have another dog after him. I got him when I was 8 and he died when I was 21. Like you, I had a hard time finding people who sympathized, but my heart was broken like nothing I had ever felt before. I would cry at the drop of a dime and suffered in silence for years. It's very lonely when you're surrounded by people who don't understand or care.

Last year on October 12th, I lost my dear cat Rambo. Oldtimers here should remember how often I came here to the DIS asking for prayers during all of his illnesses and surgeries. Two years of that and my baby died at the ripe old age of 17. This time it was different, though. I had people who cared this time. Right here, on the DIS.

As in life there are those who could care less, but the ones who did care supported me like I could hardly put into words. I still have a letter from a dear sweet DISer who made a donation in Rambo's memory...I still tear up when I think of that...

In short, the DIS gave me a community of people unlike my real life, people who CARED.

We care, Taryn and mickey65. Lean on us.

It was hard but it was what got me through.

 

[mickey65]

Robinrs.....I remember yor posts of Rambo well. When your Rambo went, I cried for you and Rambo, but it also stirred up feeling in my own heart because I knew that it would soon be time for Max. When Max went and I came to the Dis, you were one of the first ones I thought of. There are so many caring people on the Dis who understand, I am so greatful for that. Thank you everyone for caring.

 

[BCVOwner2002]

Mickey65,

I am sorry to hear of your loss. Our cat, Princess died in December 2000 of lymphoma and I still miss her dearly. Although we have since got a new kitten, we did so not to replace Princess but to help us heal and celebrate her life.

There are many shelters with animals that would like to have someone who will love them and someone for them to love in return.

Hugs to you during this difficult time.

Annmarie

 

[Rajah]

We each have to find our own way to grieve. For me, it's being creative somehow with the memory of the lost pet. When I lost Sage, what helped me heal the most was when I made a webpage dedicated to him, then a cross-stitch pattern (that I have yet to actually stitch).

You just have to find your own way to grieve, and understand that it will take time to heal. Good luck, but in the meantime, you can come here for *hugs*, sympathy, and understanding -- there are a lot of us who have lost loved pets, too.

 

[cmbelle]

Cassie had gotten so thin and frail in her last few days, we were able to bury her in our yard. We bought a little cat statue and a beautiful red plant to go over her gravesite. I walk by it often to say hello. It is real pain and loss you feel when a pet dies. For all of us here, our pets are members of the family, and they are a part of our lives and our memories. Allow yourself time to grieve.

 

[Luv2Roam]

We just had to put Toby down Monday.
It was very hard. We loved her very much and she really was a good dog to the end.
It is never an easy thing to do, or one that is easy to get over.
I have had to put down two dogs and two cats now (in 7 years) when they all were very old.
The first two I waited too long, and swore I wouldn't do that again to future pets and have them suffer unnecssarily. I was hoping Toby would die on her own. The vet said only her heart was keeping her alive. (Internal bleeding, most likely form a cancerous tumor that burst inside.)
Even my poor kitty Fluff, it literally tore my heart up. But her liver was failing (as what had happened to the previous old cat we had to put down).
I knew the symptoms and was not going to have her suffer. Once she stopped eating and going to the bathroom for two days, I knew we had to do it. I knew she would go downhill very fast and very bad.
Logically I was able to look at all and know they had good lives, better than most people even. I knew they were all old and all lived well beyond their years, much longer than anyone expected. But it was still physically painful.

I learned from Fluff to EAT Melotonin! At least with taking two (3 mgs) at a time I could talk about it without crying.
I try to remember the good times. And not the time of death.
Three years ago we knew we were too attached to Toby. She was old then and I knew it would be SO painful at her death.
So we adopted Omega as a pup from a no kill shelter. (Black lab female)
Well, Toby kept on going... And Omega needed a companion. So we went to humane society and as a family (we ALL went), we adopted Jasmine. (Half cocker, half black lab)
Even by then I was needing handicapped parking for Toby.
And Toby kept on going. She was like the energizer bunny. But even she finally went, and when she did it was fast. I look at that as a good way to go.
It's very hard and I miss them all. I think it does help to talk about them and know they are now painfree.
And a replacement will help you fill in the gap you feel. It will never fully replace your love for any previous pet. But the pain will lessen. I still think of all them still. But I know they had a good life too.
And now I look at Omega and Jazzy and realize how lucky I am to have such two good dogs now. I always try to count my blessings.
With Mick, I did have the cremated ashes returned to me. I was just starting to get over it, and then those d^%$ ashes show up. I don't want to do that again.