Okay, I'm way too old to be posting on this board, but since I saw the topic as the lead I though I'd chime in... I've been driving a stick-shift almost every day -- for well over 23 years now. My last car I gave away with just over 165,000 miles on it, and it still had the original clutch. As such, you might say I have some experience on this topic...
Obviously, you have learned that the hardest thing to driving a standard transmission car is getting started either in first gear or reverse. Yep, you're not alone. That's just the way it is but I'm here to help you learn. Personally, I think standard transmission drivers are better drivers overall. The reason is, we have to be. We need to focus more on driving, on what is happening farther up the road than just the back bumper of the guy in front of us. We have to pay attention!
That being said, first off -- you need to relax. Drifting back while at a light on a hill isn't good, but neither is tensing up and stalling the car when you pop the clutch. In fact, popping the clutch seems to be your problem. Your use of the clutch and gas pedal almost need to be a complete inverse of each other. A good visualization would be a teeter-totter. One side is the clutch pedal and the other side is the gas. To be smooth, you need to slowly add gas while you're slowly coming off the clutch. Do not pop the clutch out (unless you've just shifted from a gear into neutral). It's a clutch, not a lightswitch -- don't just go from on to off instantly. Sure, doing that chirps your tires and you'll think it's fun until you find out you just destroyed your constant velocity (CV) joints, torqued your motor mounts or fried your clutch and plate. Simply put, it's not worth the damage you can inflict...
So, how do you become smoother at shifting? Besides the obvious "practice" there are a few exercises you can try to "become one" with your car. Do you instinctively know where your clutch engages? Sit in a vacant parking lot (or your driveway if you've got the room) with the engine running and the car stopped. Don't go with your friends, or anyone else who may be a distraction ... we need you to focus here. Now turn that darn radio off - this exercise works both your sense of touch and your sense of hearing (See, I said you'd have to pay attention). Press in on the clutch fully and shift into first gear. With the engine at idle, slowly let out on the clutch until you feel it grabbing. You'll feel the resistance in your foot as the force of the motor begins to be transferred to the clutch pack. Push it back in and next time pay attention to not only how it feels, but how the engine sounds as well. You'll hear it as the strain is put on the motor. Do this a few times. Don't worry, doing this a few times isn't causing any more damage to your clutch than popping it is... Once you're comfortable with the engagement point, do it again and this time when you feel the engine take the strain add
a little gas as you come fully off the clutch. You're not driving a top fuel dragster, you're driving a car which needs care. Unless you've got a pit crew waiting to rebuild your car after each outing, take it easy. You should be creaping along at five miles an hour or so. Do this a few times and
concentrate. If you can do this, you've got the hard part behind you.
When you're shifting between gears (upshifting) you should be able to be pretty smooth unless you're "slamming" the gears. If you are "slamming" them, I hope you've got that really good pit crew with a very large spare parts budget. The goal is not to take the car up to your 6000 or 7000 redline and then pop into the next gear unless you're going for that dragster trophy. Again, keep that spare part budget in the back of your mind. Take the car up to maybe 4000 rpm on the tach, and as you quickly put the clutch in, take your foot off the gas. The engine will naturally drop in rpm, and as you're changing gears and coming off the clutch you start adding gas again. What you'll wind up with is Smmmmoooooth shifting. Remember - don't fly off that clutch, but instead take almost three seconds from the floor until you're off it.
Here we'll end lesson number one. Go out and drive. Listen and feel. Become "one" with your car.