For those in retirement age and who splurged or was over conservative in your youth....

[rchampagne]

We have never went on a vacation which was not paid for/saved for before we ever left the house. We have made great memories, and I don't regret them at all. We would rather go more often than splurge one time. With that being said, we stay on-site and usually in a moderate (did Pop once). We are not close to retirement, 15 years to go, but have been saving since day 1 of our marriage. No credit card debt, 8 years left on our mortgage, and we try to live off of 1 1/2 of our dual incomes and save the rest. So far, this has worked and we are looking forward to what we can do in retirement as we are planning for it that way. If God forbid, something happened to either of us shortening our lives, at least we have the memories we have made with our kids up to this point. I am 45 and my wife is 42 as a point of reference and married 22 years.

I'm shocked with how similar my situation is to yours. I'm 46, and my wife is 43. Only married 17 years. No credit card debt, and house should be paid off in 7 years. We also never borrow to go on vacation. In fact, a few minutes ago, I bought a $500 gift card (from BJs...8% off) for our next Disney trip in Dec '19.

We both put away 12% into our 401Ks. I feel we should be just fine for retirement, but I'm all for living for today. I'd rather spend the money now, while my kids are growing and we're healthy. I don't think I'll be retired one day, wishing we had an extra $5000 and that we didn't take that trip to the Grand Floridian.

 

[BridgetBordeaux]

We have lived beneath our means our whole married life. We still did (or had) nice things.............we did not suffer. The house, the car, the trips,............were all on the middle/upper lower end of the scale. Even our 2 new boats we have purchased over the past 20 years were nice...but not cadillacs.

Now that our daughter is wrapping up college, she is about to be on her own and has similar values to us. For that we are thankful.

Because we have security, we will be able to help our daughter from time to time when a little "gift" from the parents helps make life for her a little easier. I'm talking about things like covering her utility service deposits, or adding a little extra on a car's down payment.

We have not had to worry about money for many years, and that reduced stress has also been a nice benefit for both us and our daughter.

It is a tough balancing act to perform, but hopefully we have been somewhere in the middle. Not too opulent of a lifestyle............not too thrifty either.

 

[SC Minnie]

We have been in the middle. We work hard so we like to vacation in nice places but we don't go extremely high end- there is no way I would pay $400 for a hotel room. We do own DVC so use those points when we go to WDW or HHI. I drive a 10 year old car and we have lived in the same house for 20 years. We could have afforded a bigger/nicer home years ago but what we have was fine and now actually a little too big with DD out of the house.

We have saved for retirement and have a nice nest egg. DH is actually retired now but we aren't pulling out of his retirement $ unless we have a large expense and need it (he had some major dental work done and we used it then). For day to day we get by on what I make and his part time gig.

I remember when DD was younger one of her friends told her we must be rich because we go on nice vacations. So DD asked if we were rich. We told her no, that we chose to spend our money in different places that her friends parents (they lived in a house that was over twice what ours was).

 

[robinb]

Yeah, my Financial Adviser and my CPS use different software for retirement planning, but interestingly with both the default amount for the amount of inheritance you want to leave your heirs is $1 million!

Leaving a $1 million to heirs? That is crazy. Let them make their own cash.

I would assume that the $1 million inheritance is actually a retirement buffer for you not money set aside for your heirs.

 

[Nebraska_Disney]

I'm shocked with how similar my situation is to yours. I'm 46, and my wife is 43. Only married 17 years. No credit card debt, and house should be paid off in 7 years. We also never borrow to go on vacation. In fact, a few minutes ago, I bought a $500 gift card (from BJs...8% off) for our next Disney trip in Dec '19.

We both put away 12% into our 401Ks. I feel we should be just fine for retirement, but I'm all for living for today. I'd rather spend the money now, while my kids are growing and we're healthy. I don't think I'll be retired one day, wishing we had an extra $5000 and that we didn't take that trip to the Grand Floridian.

The way I grew up, I had to work for everything I wanted up to paying for my own car, clothes, bills, etc. We were not poor, but there was not much extra (that I knew of) but we also always went on vacations. I started saving at 14 from a summer job I had on a farm. My wife and I sock away about 22% of our gross pay every year. Compound interest is your friend and we live a comfortable life in that my kids have everything they want and need and we are able to do things without checking the wallet first. Like others have said, we skip out on a lot of entertainment activities and take nice vacations. Everyone has their priorities, but paying ourselves first has been our main one for a long time. Glad to see others are doing similar activities, I'd say we are in the minority.

 

[tvguy]

I would assume that the $1 million inheritance is actually a retirement buffer for you not money set aside for your heirs.

Well the question is "How much do you want to leave your heirs?" So I don't think it's a buffer.

 

[shh]

(I still wouldn't pay $400 for a hotel room even now!)

Amen to that! I'd seriously do a staycation at home before paying more than $250-300/night for a hotel room. And that's actually my upper end for places like San Francisco or NY, where you need to spend at least that to get a decent, safe neighborhood, unless you do the airBnb thing.

 

[shh]

I don't care if I die with $0

Totally respect where you're coming from...and balance is so important...gotta spend enough to enjoy life today, while also putting away a safety net for tomorrow.

I truly don't mean to be argumentative. Just want to point out it's not dying with $0 anyone has to worry about. It's living with $0 that can be frightening and frankly, miserable. Don't ask me how I know. Not everyone passes quickly. Most people don't.

If you get sick or need help with daily living for years on end, kids or siblings may not be willing to quit careers to be a full-time caregiver. Many people assume that health insurance or programs like medicare/medicaid will cover them later, that in actuality, do not exist - or if they do, it's no life I'd wish on my worst enemy. I'm not projecting here - I've seen it firsthand.

 

[MrsPete]

I'm not quite retired yet, but I can see retirement from where I'm standing. My youngest child has a year of college left. Anyway, I think I'm qualified to answer your question: We were very conservative financially from the time we were married, and I do not regret it a bit.

- Saving aggressively did not stop us from traveling, providing educational /enriching activities for our children, or enjoying ourselves. Rather, we took care to do the things we wanted at a reasonable price -- we often traveled off season, rarely splurged on expensive rooms, always brought along a picnic basket and cooler for meals in the room. Amount of money spent does not mean a better life or more fun.
- Our kids both did win some scholarships, but these days essentially no one gets a "full ride" anymore (and I'm a high school senior teacher, so I know of what I speak). We easily able to pay for their college educations and provide them each with a car when they reached the point they needed it. Having them graduate debt-free is 1000% better than having splurged on suites during vacations.
- We are going to retire in our early 50s, and we are well-prepared financially. Once we reach Social Security age, we will actually have more income than we have now. Those extra 15-25 or so years in retirement will be 1000% better than having splurged on a bigger house.
- We are incredibly grateful that we started saving from a young age for two reasons: 1) When you start saving young, your greatest asset is all the years ahead of you for compound interest to work its magic. Someone told me once that your first $100,000 takes forever, but then your money "takes off". It's true. 2) Not everyone gets to work as long as he or she plans, so it's not wise to say that you'll start saving for retirement once the kids' expenses are gone. My husband was forced into retirement earlier than expected -- and because we saved early, it's okay. If we weren't already comfortable financially, I have no idea what we'd do now.
- As for the possibility of dying young and never having enjoyed yourself ... first, that's just silly because money does not equal enjoyment. However, I have lost two similar aged friends in the past year, and I won't say it didn't shake me ... but I know more people my age who are terrified by the possibility of never retiring or the possibility of losing their jobs /not being able to get another. Ageism is very real. I am close to the daughters of one of the friends who died young, and I know that they split their mother's never-to-be-used retirement and each purchased a house. I'd rather use my retirement money for its intended purpose, but -- if that were not to be -- I'd be happy to know it gave my girls a jump on life. It'd be something of a trade off for them because they wouldn't have me to help them with their weddings, to be a grandmother to their children, and so on.

 

[smartlabelprint]

We have been in the middle. We work hard so we like to vacation in nice places but we don't go extremely high end- there is no way I would pay $400 for a hotel room. We do own DVC so use those points when we go to WDW or HHI. I drive a 10 year old car and we have lived in the same house for 20 years. We could have afforded a bigger/nicer home years ago but what we have was fine and now actually a little too big with DD out of the house.

We have saved for retirement and have a nice nest egg. DH is actually retired now but we aren't pulling out of his retirement $ unless we have a large expense and need it (he had some major dental work done and we used it then). For day to day we get by on what I make and his part time gig.

I remember when DD was younger one of her friends told her we must be rich because we go on nice vacations. So DD asked if we were rich. We told her no, that we chose to spend our money in different places that her friends parents (they lived in a house that was over twice what ours was).

It’s so frustrating when acquaintances think we’re rich. It really came to a head starting in May when we started raising funds for one of my kids to get a service dog. Both are disabled, adopted & we receive a stipend for them. We were trying to sell our house to simplify life plus I’ve never liked this house. People told us to use the sales
Funds to pay for the dog. Ugh! It’s none of their business. Then several told me to get a pet and certify it. Eye roll. I wish we’d never mentioned it to people we know. But you pretty much don’t pay for a service dog. From the first I read about it they talked about our job to fundraise. So, we have been!

The reality is Disney vacations are important to us. So, we don’t have fancy clothes and shoes. One of our cars is super old. We have broken down furniture with a cover on it that’s 20 years old. We just spend money on what we choose. People spend money on a Lot of stuff they don’t think of as a choice. Nails, hair, art, kids lessons and teams, etc. I shop sales for kids school gear. Buy last years model, buy neutral colors so I can hand me down between the kids.

 

[QueenIsabella]

I would assume that the $1 million inheritance is actually a retirement buffer for you not money set aside for your heirs.

I think a lot of people have an easier time envisioning "leaving their heirs $1M", versus "spending $1M on 15 years of dementia care". Between us, we had 2 parents die of cancer and one of dementia (the fourth just keeled over, but she did go into assisted living for the last 20 months or so of life). We look at having money set aside for a "million dollar disease", as we call it. If we don't use it, my kids are welcome to it.

I do want to mention, different people have different feelings about leaving money to heirs. My philosophy is "I'd rather give with a warm hand than give with a cold hand", which is to say, give money/experiences while I'm alive, to see my kids enjoy them. While DH agrees with that, he also feels very strongly about family legacy--his parents left him a chunk of money, and he feels duty bound to grow that and then pass it on to our kids. I can understand his point of view--his parents didn't work hard and save hard so that he and I could live high--that money is meant to enrich our family's life experiences and provide for education.

 

[MillauFr]

I keep telling my dad to spend his $1m that he has in stocks. He is 79. I told him if you give it to me or my brother we will just flush it down the toilet on $100 bottles of wine, staying that the Grand Californian for $600 per night, dropping $300 per meal going out to fine dining often, taking Disney Cruises that cost $10k+. He doesn't listen. He is so cheap. I'll take the cash if he gives it to me. I'll donate a third of it so I don't feel so guilty about wasting the rest.

 

[disneysteve]

I save the first 20% but spend every last dollar beyond that

I think this is really the key. I'm very active (and a moderator) on a personal finance forum and this is something we spout off about all the time. Everyone has their personal preferences about how and where they like to spend their money. For some, it's electronics. For some, it's fine dining. For some, it's a fancy house or a luxury car. For some, it's travel. Ultimately, as long as you are doing it within your budget, not in debt up to your eyeballs, and you are saving adequately for the future, go and enjoy what you want to enjoy.

For us, the $400 room isn't important, but having the APs and going regularly is. Plus we greatly prefer the space and amenities available offsite, which also happens to come at less than 1/4 of the price of that $400 room. So we have no regrets about the money we've spent on our Disney vacations (or any other vacations). But we also are dedicated savers, putting away 20-25% of our gross income each year. We bought a very modest home and we buy used cars and keep them for a long time so we aren't pouring money into those things like many others are. We also carry no debt except our mortgage and that's almost gone. That is a big part of what has allowed us to amass a nice nest egg while still traveling a lot over the years.

It's all about balance and priorities. Use the 50/30/20 budget - 50% for needs, 30% for wants, 20% for savings. if you stick with that, you'll be fine when retirement rolls around. The problem is when people don't put the savings first, spend everything that comes in and more, and have nothing left for the future.

So no, no regrets here about living within our means.

 

[DVCcurious]

Sha la la la la la live for today and don’t worry about tomorrow hey

 

[pearlieq]

We've splurged in the past, mostly because we could, which was novel to DH and I having both grown up in families with very tight finances. I've cut way, way back since I realized that almost all of my favorite memories were tied to very little spending.

We just splashed out to have the extended family come to WDW, a luxury about which I have absolutely no regrets. That being said, my favorite meal of the trip was us splitting $75 worth of Flipper's pizza in the villa, not the obscenely priced $450 character dinner that lasted an hour. You can do a lot of living on a very reasonable budget!

 

[disneysteve]

my favorite meal of the trip was us splitting $75 worth of Flipper's pizza in the villa, not the obscenely priced $450 character dinner that lasted an hour.

I love this. I honestly don't know how families manage those Disney meals, especially if there are multiple people. And we love Flipper's too. We eat there every trip.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

I think a lot of people have an easier time envisioning "leaving their heirs $1M", versus "spending $1M on 15 years of dementia care". Between us, we had 2 parents die of cancer and one of dementia (the fourth just keeled over, but she did go into assisted living for the last 20 months or so of life). We look at having money set aside for a "million dollar disease", as we call it. If we don't use it, my kids are welcome to it.

I do want to mention, different people have different feelings about leaving money to heirs. My philosophy is "I'd rather give with a warm hand than give with a cold hand", which is to say, give money/experiences while I'm alive, to see my kids enjoy them. While DH agrees with that, he also feels very strongly about family legacy--his parents left him a chunk of money, and he feels duty bound to grow that and then pass it on to our kids. I can understand his point of view--his parents didn't work hard and save hard so that he and I could live high--that money is meant to enrich our family's life experiences and provide for education.

Your DH's philosophy is exactly what my dad's family's philosophy has been for the last 5 generations. Inherit family money, take good care of it, grow it, use some for college aducations, and then pass it on to the next generation - hopefully a little bigger that it was when you got it. Generational wealth is a wonderful thing!

 

[pearlieq]

I love this. I honestly don't know how families manage those Disney meals, especially if there are multiple people.

I can't even imagine. I thought I knew Disney pricing pretty well, but that was a huge sticker shock to me and so not worth it! An expensive lesson, but at least I've learned I never need to do it again. Our other table service meals for 8 with multiple courses were around $250. Tigger is adorable, but not $200 adorable!

And we love Flipper's too. We eat there every trip.

Even our very, very Italian in-law was willing to admit it was "pretty good, for Florida pizza"

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

I have to say that now that my DD is in college, I see a LOT of spendthrifts on Facebook college groups that just get a very rude wake-up call when their children are freshmen. They somehow think that a college education grows on trees and that their son or daughter will rake in scholarships and other financial aid. Pssst ... that doesn't happen to the vast majority of students. With all the extra family money spent on this and that ($400 hotel rooms for instance ) because it felt good at the time parents have no money set aside for college. BUT, they have a good income so the FAFSA shows that they can afford more in college than the lifestyle they have become accustomed to can sustain. Children are only allowed to borrow so much and it's left to the parents to suddenly go into student loan debt so junior can get a degree. I'm talking about tens of thousands of dollars in debt when they should still be saving for retirement. It's a terrible predicament to be in.

So, to answer your question, no I do not regret being more conservative with my money when I was younger. We did some "splurges" along the way (like 2 DVC contracts when they were super cheap) but for the most part we have funded our DD's education and our retirement (although both took a kick to the gut this week).

Of course, you may spend your money any way you wish and if you need to stay "deluxe" to make your vacation complete then you should feel free! Just consider this, if you cut back to a $200 per night hotel room and saved the extra $200 per night for a week you would have $4000 saved when your younger DD hits college (assuming a 6.88 average rate of return and compound interest). That's not chump change for a relatively small change.

Totally respect where you're coming from...and balance is so important...gotta spend enough to enjoy life today, while also putting away a safety net for tomorrow.

I truly don't mean to be argumentative. Just want to point out it's not dying with $0 anyone has to worry about. It's living with $0 that can be frightening and frankly, miserable. Don't ask me how I know. Not everyone passes quickly. Most people don't.

If you get sick or need help with daily living for years on end, kids or siblings may not be willing to quit careers to be a full-time caregiver. Many people assume that health insurance or programs like medicare/medicaid will cover them later, that in actuality, do not exist - or if they do, it's no life I'd wish on my worst enemy. I'm not projecting here - I've seen it firsthand.

I am afraid that the same "head buried in the sand" approach to college savings mentioned above is going to bit people in the butt in their retirement years. I don't need to save for college, my kid will get scholarships for sports or grades and go free - then FAFSA says otherwise. I don't need to worry about paying for a nursing home, the government will take care of me - but by then they are destitute.

With company pensions a thing of the past, we are all pretty much on our own to fund our retirements. I am already seeing friends 10 to 15 years older than DH and me struggle to live on their Social Security benefits alone because they didn't save. We are going to have a huge senior citizen crisis in our country very soon.

I am frantically trying to build up my retirement contributions because I was a stay at home mom for 7 years and then only worked part time with no benefits for the next 8 years, so I could be available for my children. I wouldn't change the time I had with them for the world, but I am realizing how behind that 15 year work hiatus put my retirement savings. I put 15% of my salary into my 403B. I will up that and do some "catch up" contributions as soon as we finish paying for college for our 2 kids. 529 prepaid tuition plans are a HUGE help with that, but books, room and board are still a gob of money (and this is for 2 in state schools with some scholarship money). DH has been saving all along thank goodness. I just want to make sure it's enough, and I sometimes feel like no amount will be enough. That said, I am still saving up $11,000 to take my family of 4 on our last bucket list family vacation after DS graduates from college and starts his career this summer. We are going to London for 3 days of sightseeing followed by 9 days in South Africa for a safari. My budget is tiny for this type of trip. I've researched a ton, and have been working credit card points and bank bonuses to keep it within my small budget.

To do all this - college savings, retirement savings, pay off debt (no CC debt for me, 13 years left on the mortgage if I don't pay it off early by making 1 extra payment a year, 4 cars but only 1 car payment), take vacations (most of the time using our timeshare which was paid for 30 years ago) - we maintain and drive our cars until they die; we don't shop unless we really need something, and then we shop deals; we use things up until they break or are gone before we replace them; we don't spend a lot on hair (I get mine cut and highlighted 3 - 4 times a year by a friend in her home salon), makeup (drugstore brands), manicures and such.

 

[barkley]

With company pensions a thing of the past, we are all pretty much on our own to fund our retirements. I am already seeing friends 10 to 15 years older than DH and me struggle to live on their Social Security benefits alone because they didn't save. We are going to have a huge senior citizen crisis in our country very soon.

it's already happening-

social security is increasing 2.8% for it's 2019 cola-my health insurance (medicare supplement/partially paid by the employer i retired from-i know i'm VERY fortunate to have this) 2019 premium was just published-OVER 20% increase per month.

medicare comes nowhere close to covering even a healthy senior's basic healthcare costs so a supplement is a necessity, esp. as we age up. if i were reliant on just my social security i would be spending on health insurance premiums alone close to 45% of my income (this is before both deductibles are met, co pays and scrips-count those in and we would be nearing 55-60%). i'm lucky, damn lucky but i continue to save in every way, shape and form i can. i can't afford not to.

the average social security recipient gets around $1400 a month. yeah, even absent paying for medicare and supplemental insurance it's not much for the average person let alone household to get by on yet there are SO MANY boomers and beyond haven't saved and have no idea of the drastic impact retirement will have on their lives