For those in retirement age and who splurged or was over conservative in your youth....

Discussion in 'Budget Board' started by monica9, Oct 11, 2018.

  1. monica9

    monica9 DIS Veteran

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    curious if those who have grown children and now retired age regret splurging or being over conservative with their money while they were younger and had young families.
    I am always told by family to save my money and I don’t have to go on a vacation every year or stay at a deluxe. Is it out of our means.....somewhat but not really. A $400/night room is not but a 550/night room kind of is. They I started thinking, will that extra $$$ spent really have an impact if it’s a resort I’ve always wanted to stay? Will having to stay in a double bed over a king bed on vacation really make a difference? It does for us. It might mean a restful sleep vs restless which will mean a more comfortable vacation. I have friends who have been saving for a house for such a long time that they keep putting off Disney but really want to go and their kids are getting older. My husband and I would go for the vacation and save a few extra months for the house. I just think of all the people who get diagnosed with terminal illnesses or die in accidents and they never had the oppprtunity to make the memories they wanted to. I don’t want to regret anything and I love the memories I have on vacation with my children.
    So, do you regret the way you were looking back now? What would you have done differently?
     
  2. barkley

    barkley DIS Veteran<br><font color=orange>If I ever have a

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    well, i'm approaching the age i would have retired at but life threw a curve ball at me in my early 40's and my health required me to retire BUT i do have grown kids and an opinion on this.

    i don't regret the vacations we spent money on but we did it in moderation with what we could afford at the time. i'm glad we were more conservative b/c then when one of those bad in life things happened there wasn't the additional tragedy that lack of savings can cause. our budget was tighter but we didn't have financial stress on top of medical/emotional stress. i worked in social services and saw far too many people whose lives were turned upside down and inside out when a spouse got disabled or passed, it's difficult enough dealing with that let alone trying to figure out how you will continue to provide a roof over your head, meet your basic needs (meet those of the kids if they are still in need)...and these people were coming into my office as their last resort-often after years of struggling b/c our programs had income and resource limits that kept them ineligible to help until they were DESTITUTE.

    i've also known some who opt for big vacations over saving who (thankfully) haven't had a tragedy happen but they grossly underestimated what their retirement cost of living vs. income would be. with some it's not just been downsizing it's become parents having to become reliant on their own children to supplement their incomes. in that case i suspect the adult children's memories of those opulent vacations are rather tarnished by the fact that they can't afford to take their own children on even meager vacations or think about buying their own home b/c of their parent's prior financial choices.

    i lost my dad when i was 19-5 months after he was diagnosed with cancer. the treasured memories aren't the vacations or things we did like that, it was the time spent with him-growing up, learning from him, living with him day in and day out.

    ymmv.
     
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  4. tvguy

    tvguy Question anything the facts don't support.

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    Guess it depends on your mindset. DW and I are 61 and hope to retire in 2 years. I wonder if we overspent in our youth, and didn't put enough into retirement. No pensions for either of us, just our savings and at 66 1/2, Social Security. I always see people complain how hard it is to get by on Social Security. Our projected benefits are about 70% of our current take home pay, and given our commute costs are going away, we really should need much extra money.
    We have put the maximum into an IRA for 3 years ( I think it was $1,500 each at the time), and for the last 36 years we have put 15% of our pay into a 401k, plus the employer match of 3-4%. We paid off our house 18 years ago. We were always careful with our money, but always took vacations. Yes, we picked the Best Western for many years over the Disneyland Hotel. Now we go less often, but stay at the Grand California.
    So what can I say, I am a little insecure that we saved enough, although our Financial Planner and CPA say we did everything right. And the software our Financial planner uses says we have a 95% chance of having enough money if we live to 100. I'm certainly better off than the lady across the street who is retired, and has been in her house 39 years, and owes $40,000 more than she and her late husband paid of it.
     
  5. shh

    shh Mouseketeer

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    Everyone is wired differently and I get that. None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow - I get that too. Here's the thing, though: if great vacation memories rely upon splurges, luxury accomodations and perks, for most people, it may turn into a never-ending treadmill.

    Once you taste "the good life", your expectations level set. You'll keep wanting to outdo the last trip - because you've "been there, done that" and now want something even better this time. "YOLO" can trap you in a lifetime of debt.

    Also realize...most people do make it to their '50s-70s+ - the odds are with you, unless you have a family history of early passings. And believe me: your 60-year old self will hate you for making her/him sit in front of the TV all day instead of having money to travel, dine, cruise, see shows, enjoy life. I live in the U.S. retiree capital: they all want to splurge too!

    As others mentioned, bad times always hit at some point. In 2009, when many people couldn't buy a job, those that saved well slept a lot better. If the car dies, the washing machine breaks, or heaven forbid, a trip to the ER is needed, that cushion is a lifesaver.

    Just some things to consider :)
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2018
  6. georgina

    georgina DIS Veteran

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    We are retired, well I was a stay at home mom who never went back to work but since DH is retired I call myself that also. NO, we do not regret being frugal in our younger years. Both DH's and my parents grew up poor during the Depression and were tight with money so it is in our nature. After we got married (honeymoon in Hawaii was a splurge) we both worked to pay off our car loans and my student loans. We bought a low cost house and took out a mortgage that was affordable on one salary. Our vacations for many years were driving to where in-laws had a summer home to visit them. DH contributed a lot to his 401k . We drove out west for vacation, and did some Disney trips once the kids were a bit older. (I still wouldn't pay $400 for a hotel room even now!) We still live in our first house, though we have done some remodeling since the mortgage was paid off. All my kids went through college debt free and are self-supporting. Now we have money to travel and we are! Once youngest graduated from college we took the family to Ireland. DH went on a dive trip to Fiji. My mom lived to 96 and DH's mom is almost 94, and we feel comfortable that we have plenty of savings.
     
  7. runwad

    runwad Dis Veteran

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    Not retirement age yet, and kids are still at home but in college, but will never regret being conservative with our money. We vacationed but always on a budget. Security and piece of mind are very important to us. We have lots of great memories of being together whether on vacation or just hanging out with family and friends. No extravagance was needed. Spend within reason, but always continue to save!

    But I will agree with you on the bed! I've gotten to the point now if I can't have a king size bed for me and DH, I'd rather stay home:laughing:.
     
  8. robinb

    robinb DIS Veteran

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    I have to say that now that my DD is in college, I see a LOT of spendthrifts on Facebook college groups that just get a very rude wake-up call when their children are freshmen. They somehow think that a college education grows on trees and that their son or daughter will rake in scholarships and other financial aid. Pssst ... that doesn't happen to the vast majority of students. With all the extra family money spent on this and that ($400 hotel rooms for instance :scared:) because it felt good at the time parents have no money set aside for college. BUT, they have a good income so the FAFSA shows that they can afford more in college than the lifestyle they have become accustomed to can sustain. Children are only allowed to borrow so much and it's left to the parents to suddenly go into student loan debt so junior can get a degree. I'm talking about tens of thousands of dollars in debt when they should still be saving for retirement. It's a terrible predicament to be in.

    So, to answer your question, no I do not regret being more conservative with my money when I was younger. We did some "splurges" along the way (like 2 DVC contracts when they were super cheap) but for the most part we have funded our DD's education and our retirement (although both took a kick to the gut this week).

    Of course, you may spend your money any way you wish and if you need to stay "deluxe" to make your vacation complete then you should feel free! Just consider this, if you cut back to a $200 per night hotel room and saved the extra $200 per night for a week you would have $4000 saved when your younger DD hits college (assuming a 6.88 average rate of return and compound interest). That's not chump change for a relatively small change.
     
  9. MillauFr

    MillauFr Buzz & Woody

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    I regret nothing. My goal is to die with $0. I can't stand when my dad talks about inheritance. I keep telling him it is his money. Spend it. Go to Vegas and throw it all down on red. It is nobody's business but his. He hoards his money. I don't get what is the point of having money if you aren't willing to spend it.
     
  10. tvguy

    tvguy Question anything the facts don't support.

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    Yeah, my Financial Adviser and my CPS use different software for retirement planning, but interestingly with both the default amount for the amount of inheritance you want to leave your heirs is $1 million!
     
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  11. Chrysanthium

    Chrysanthium Look at this stuff, isn't it neat.

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    Me too! I'm 32. first DW trip for my son this past August he was 2 ...we stayed at GF for our honeymoon in 2014... now I couldn't stay anywhere else and must've changed my hotel times until I realized it was GF that I really wanted and DH agreed. So yes once you taste the luxury it's hard to go anywhere else...Do I have a $6000 bill on my CC of course, I will pay it own and go again once it's paid hopefully 3 years. I don't care if I die with $0 I will have seen things and given my family a great life. We are both college educated with okay jobs. Not rich but its pretty nice to feel that way once in awhile GF makes me feel rich lol
     
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  12. MillauFr

    MillauFr Buzz & Woody

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    Leaving a $1 million to heirs? That is crazy. Let them make their own cash.
     
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  13. MillauFr

    MillauFr Buzz & Woody

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    I wish I could keep my credit card bill down to under $6,000 per month.... LOL I like to spend money. I save the first 20% but spend every last dollar beyond that....
     
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  14. georgina

    georgina DIS Veteran

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    Everyone's different. We stayed a week at the Boardwalk last year on rented DVC points for our 30th anniversary, and I also had 2 nights at GF booked through agency rates but that was still more than I could bring myself to pay so I switched the GF nights to Sheraton Vistana. I guess I would rather take more trips that cost less. We're staying at a Marriott in Aruba in a few weeks and I have 2 club level rooms at Universal for Thanksgiving week, plus a regular room for 4 nights for my family. None of those are as much as $400 a night. I have a frugal gene. Growing up my family of 8 always camped locally for vacation, and i have many good memories. We camped with our kids at Yellowstone, Grand Tetons, Mt Rushmore, Acadia, Myrtle Beach, and Ft Wilderness.
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2018
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  15. barkley

    barkley DIS Veteran<br><font color=orange>If I ever have a

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    no idea how old your dad is but i think much of these types of mindsets are shaped by what people grow up seeing/experiencing. my mom and dad were savers though we did vacations (not huge costly ones but i would say more than allot of kids i grew up with) but saving was always the #1 priority after all the needs were met b/c dad was a young man in the great depression and saw/experienced poverty before there were any social programs in place as safety nets. that shaped him and he wanted to ensure that he/his spouse/his kids were provided for in times of need. he must have done a good job saving b/c he and mom married at the end of ww2 whereupon she lost her shipyard job to the returning men never to work outside the home again but they managed to support themselves, 4 kids AND when dad suddenly fell ill and passed 5 months later there was enough in savings to supplement his small pension and social security to provide for mom (and me for a few years) for another 31 years-with a respectable amount left over. mom didn't do with out, dad didn't do with out-they just did what they were comfortable doing-and they found great comfort in seeing their savings grow.
     
  16. smartlabelprint

    smartlabelprint DIS Veteran

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    I’m Not retired. There’s a balance. But I’ve never slept in a double. Maybe not even a queen. And I’ve never stayed on site

    I agree with pp you could get a $200 suite with king and 3 bunks at homewood suites instead.
     
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  17. Gigi22

    Gigi22 DIS Veteran

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    I can’t regret any of the spending we did when younger. My DH died at 61. We made good memories together.
     
  18. monica9

    monica9 DIS Veteran

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    I am all about balance. This is why I was curious to see others views as I knew hey would be different and I can learn from both sides. I work in a hospital and see people of all ages dying so it’s hard to get past that mindset. My husbands never vacationed and his dad drowned when my husband was 11 so he never had those memories. I don’t spend on clothes but splurge on vacations. I have a ton of memories with my family from when I was young and had a great relationship with them but the memories I remember most are those from our yearly vacations and I want my children to have that. Do they need to be expensive vacations...no. But spending time away without the normal routine is critical. I just see too many people deciding not to do things to save that extra $500 a month. Not worth it to me.
     
  19. TwoMisfits

    TwoMisfits DIS Veteran

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    I think it helps to look at the issue differently...not "should I save or spend that $500", but rather "how much am I saving/spending?" as the 1st question...and then, after you have the answer, take the spending number and ask "okay, here's what I'm spending - now, how am I spending it?"

    So, if you are saving 20% off the top and staying debt free, it won't matter much if you stay at $800/night hotels while eating Ramen 7 days a week or you stay on $30/night campgrounds while you eat organic filet mignon (these are extreme examples, but you get the idea)...or you do $200 haircuts every month vs going makeup free or you get $20 haircuts every 3-4 months while enjoying a nice makeup routine, etc...
     
  20. tvguy

    tvguy Question anything the facts don't support.

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    LOL. Well the reality is, if we make it to our life expectancy, the house alone will be worth that. Not bad for a house we paid $101,000 for.
     
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  21. Nebraska_Disney

    Nebraska_Disney DIS Veteran

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    We have never went on a vacation which was not paid for/saved for before we ever left the house. We have made great memories, and I don't regret them at all. We would rather go more often than splurge one time. With that being said, we stay on-site and usually in a moderate (did Pop once). We are not close to retirement, 15 years to go, but have been saving since day 1 of our marriage. No credit card debt, 8 years left on our mortgage, and we try to live off of 1 1/2 of our dual incomes and save the rest. So far, this has worked and we are looking forward to what we can do in retirement as we are planning for it that way. If God forbid, something happened to either of us shortening our lives, at least we have the memories we have made with our kids up to this point. I am 45 and my wife is 42 as a point of reference and married 22 years.
     

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