? for stay at home moms/wives

[Lil Lil]

I'm DREADING going back to work tomorrow! No, I'm down right depressed. I want sooooo bad to be a stay at home wife. We don't have kids, we are childfree by choice. I just wonder if I would get bored. I know there is lots to do around the home. It would save time on the weekend. I would LOVE to be a stay at home wife. No more deadlines, staff meetings, snowy drives, out of town workshops and office politics! I'm so much more peaceful being at home. My mom never had to work. She was always a stay at home mom. She still doesn't work. Sis & I are in our 30's.

Just wondering if those who stay at home "enjoy" being home away from the everyday rat race? Did you always plan on staying home? Do you miss the work environment?

 

[Beth76]

I don't really know how you can compare stay at home moms to stay at home wives. I stay home with my kids by choice and I love it. But, even with my kids I do get bored. It's not always a picnic in the park. If I didn't have kids I would work, there would be no point for me to be at home all day with nothing to do. If you're dreading going to work so much then maybe you should look into getting a different job.

 

[Pugdog007]

What exactly would a "stay at home wife" do all day? I second Beth76 in that you need to look for a new job if you're so unhappy there.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Maybe either going part time or figuring out a job you could do from home would be something to consider.

I've been a SAHM for over 18 years and have really enjoyed it. My youngest went to kindergarten this year so for the first time I'm home alone. That is if you call being at home with 4 cats and 2 dogs (and a work at home DH) alone. I'm not sure what the future holds, but I do stay "busy" (not mom of toddler kind of busy, but I do have things to do). I have a lot of projects around the house I've put off through the years that I'm trying to slowly do (not things I enjoy, so they are going slow ). Cleaning takes awhile, but I have kids and pets who do mess things up more than someone would have without the pets and/or kids. And of course when the kids get home from school I'm busy driving to various activities, helping with homework, etc.

Not sure what it would be like if I didn't have any kids. If you can really afford for you to cut back that might be a plan. Maybe you can try some volunteer work to see if you like that.

 

[georgina]

No, I don't miss the work environment. There were times when the kids were small that i felt somewhat isolated, but since they've been in school, I've been so busy with Girl Scouts, volunteering in the class room, running fund raisers, church activities, that I'm not home much at all.

 

[noseybuddy]

I was a SAHM for a long time. I was lucky enough to be able to stay home with my kids. I did enjoy it, but I won't lie, there were some bad days. My kids are teens now so I got a part-time job. I work 2 1/2 days a week. It's just enough to get me out of the house and earn some money and still be home to take care of whatever needs to be done.

 

[dis ms.]

I have to agree with Beth on this one. What would you do all day at home without kids to care for and clean up after? I'm a SAHM and I love it, but there are certainly days that I don't love it as much. I think you can say that about most any job, though.

Maybe you do need a new job. You could also look into doing some volunteer work on a regular basis while working part time.

 

[RadioNate]

I'm a SAHM and sometimes it is SO boring. There is only so much cleaning you can do and even with a child around it gets boring. There are days I long to go back to work.

The money issue is something to consider too. Financially DH makes enough to support DS and I but I sometimes feel horribly guilty spending large sums of money because I didn't earn any of it. I also feel bad spending on expensive clothes or hair/make up because I'm home most of the time so why do I need $100 pants and $200 hair.

I'm planning on getting some type of job when DS goes to school full time in the fall.

 

[DisneyPhD]

I worked and went to school for a very long time. As much as I loved my job, I loved it more on weekends and holidays when I didn't have to work. I worked part time and I thought if I was home full time I would just clean my house more. I don't. (My house could stand a bit more cleaning. but I let some things slide in the name of mental health, mine mostly.)

I don't miss the rat race. I don't miss getting up and going to work, being professional, the commute, the boss, the paper work, the policices the head aches. Don't miss them.

The pay check, the good friends I worked with, the clients who I liked and really loved seeing improving and making changes, the pride in my work. I miss that. So much I want to go back. Not yet. Someday yes.

I think when I do go back to work I will be better for the time I took off to spend with my children.

I always enjoyed my time at home (off work) before I had kids. However the summer I was unempolyed after college was no fun. No direction.

However we always wanted kids. So the just stay home and be a housewife I didn't consider so much.

I don't know how people make time to work any more. My days are pretty full with out it.

 

[buddy&wooz]

I was out of work for about 5 months before we had kids- I was so bored! I couldn't wait to go back to work.

Staying home when I had my kids was different- they kept me busy - still do! And now that they're older I do a ton of volunteer work and some minor freelance work. I can't imagine just doing housework and hanging out all day...

 

[damo]

I know some SAHWs who have no kids. There is lots to do!!! You can get involved with charities and do volunteer work. You can play golf, tennis, etc. You can get together with friends. You can go away on vacations. Just because you don't have a regular job doesn't mean that there is nothing in life worth doing!!!!!

Organizations are crying for volunteers. Here is your opportunity to do something and feel really good about helping others. Just because you don't get paid for it, that doesn't mean it won't be meaningful and fulfilling!

 

[Chris2597]

I worked part time while my kids were little, started the part time position whe oldest was 2.5yrs old....It worked well as I was home when they got home from school....
My youngest is now 17 and I am thinking about quitting my part time job....DD will be going off to college next year....so I guess I will be a stay at home wife....I will find plenty to do....I will keep the house clean (as usual), have lunch with friends, maybe get to know some of my neighbors that SAH, go to the gym, cook at home more, take an afternoon walk in my neighborhood, shop, probably sign up for a self improvement or class at church, spend more quality time with my elderly mom....I will also just enjoy my home, decorate, maybe take up a craft....just enjoy and not stress over staffing, budgets, meeting, staff calling in sick....ect....
I dont know if I will do this forever....but I am sure interested in trying it....
I think sometimes SAHM's get a bad rap and feel like they have to justify their reasons for not working outside of the home....I think SAHW's should get the same consideration..I know plenty of my friends that never worked outside of the home and continue to do so even though their kids are adults now...Do you as SAHM's really think that you will joyfully re-enter the work force and give up your time at home once your kids are older?? Maybe a few but I bet most prefer their at home lifestyle. ..I percieved the OP's ?? as being, what do you SAHM's do with your time once the kids are not at home during the day....?? How do you fill your day? Are you bored?
To the OP....Good luck with your decision....Maybe you shoudl try it for 3 months....or try a part time job, work athome, something that will allow more time at home/

 

[Beth76]

You can play golf, tennis, etc. You can get together with friends. You can go away on vacations.

I would imagine most people would enjoy doing nothing but playing golf, tennis, eating lunch and going on vacation. That's not exactly the role of the stay-at-home-mom/wife/whatever. It's also not exactly the roll of your average everyday middle class (heck, even upper middle class) person. If the OP can afford not to work, then I guess no one is stopping her from quitting her job and becoming a lady of leisure/socialite/whatever.

 

[staci]

Im a SAHM and I love it. I wish we could afford to always do this, but we are really pushing it to do it just while the kiddos are little.

I do miss some adult interaction (hey, thats what the DIS is for ).


I agree with everyone else, I would be bored out of my mind without my ds to raise all day. He consumes so much of my time; trying to stimulate him and teach him, keep him relatively clean and well fed, and following behind him picking up what he drops (or throws ) keeps me very busy. But there are times where if I read the same book ONE MORE TIME I really swear I will loose it.

My mom stayed home with us, and now we are both grown and she has had a very hard time adjusting to having nothing to do. Finally after struggling for awhile to find her niche, she is volunteering like crazy and really loving it. She has found a place where she is needed, and that is all she really needs. She works with the local Camp Fire clubs, visits a nursing home weekly, volunteers at the hospital, American Cancer Society, and is coordinator of the commitee at church to bring food to those who are hospitalized, ill, etc. But before she got busy with those things, she was very bored.

 

[marybet]

I am a stay at home wife and I love it. I have plenty to keep me busy. When we both worked we had to spend most of the weekend cleaning, doing laundry, etc. Now that is all done, (well most of the time ) and we have the weekends to do what we want. I can also go on business trips with him. This month we are going to Orlando for the National Homebuilders Show and also Las Vegas for a Guardian Installed Sales show. I couldn't do that if I had an outside job.

I haven't worked since May 1998 and I don't miss it at all.

 

[ericamanda01]

I had a really tough year last year at school. So DH and I talked about it and I decided to stay home for the summer with no job or classes. The first two weeks were great. I got the whole house clean, made dinner every night. And I was really relaxed. However after two weeks with no agenda or schedule I was board out of my mind. Unless you have a lot of things to do, it can get old very fast.

 

[disykat]

I think it's very sad that we have such a work oriented society that staying home is looked down on. Sure, being home would be boring if you were used to working - until you replaced that work time with other activities. Everyone I know who stays home had to go through a period of adjustment when they stopped working.

My kids are in school now and if I didn't actually miss working because I loved my job, I'd be content to stay home forever. I can stay as busy as I choose with volunteer work, etc. Just because you're not working doesn't mean you have to stay at home. It means you are free to choose what to do with your time.

I honestly don't know anyone - SAHM, SAHW, or retired - who stays home and does nothing. Everyone I know volunteers at everything from their local schools or churches to traveling with disaster relief teams. I consider being financially able to not be tied to a job a great priviledge, not something to be scorned.

 

[ilovepcot]

I stay home and eat bon-bons.

 

[aprilgail2]

I know some SAHWs who have no kids. There is lots to do!!! You can get involved with charities and do volunteer work. You can play golf, tennis, etc. You can get together with friends. You can go away on vacations. Just because you don't have a regular job doesn't mean that there is nothing in life worth doing!!!!!

!

Wow, that doesn't seem really fair to the other partner who is supporting you though does it? I would think that everyone would want to stay home and golf all day etc...why should one partner in the relationship have to work while the other golfs, plays tennis, gets together with friends all day etc....wouldn't cut it if I was the person who had to go to work while my partenr stayed home and spent my money and had all the fun!

 

[T16GEM]

I would love to be a SAHM - I really want to be with my little girl at every milestone when she reaches them.

I think maybe you need to look for another job - something that you enjoy or are more happy doing.