For parents of autistic children

[LoveStitch]

I've just recently begun working at WDW. Today a family was checking in with an autistic child, who was very agitated. I wanted so much to go over and try to interact with him so his parents could check in more easily, but didn't really know what to do. I was afraid of agitating him further and doing more harm than good. Do any of you have any hints?

 

[freckles and boo]

Your instincts about further agitating the child were good. The best thing you can do is ask the parents if they could use some help. They usually know best what would ease the situation. As for engaging the child, there is no simple answer. Each child is different. Some, like my daughter, are hyposensitive. It takes a lot to get her agitated, but she likes to touch things, run, and lay on the ground. She loves strangers and would be your best friend in a moment. Others are hypersensitive and are easily overstimulated. It is better not to add to their crisis by introducing a new element (your attempt at conversation would be very unfamiliar for a child who likes predictability and routine). I would love it if there was a way to avoid waiting in line for 45 minutes to check in - not an easy wait for typical kids, let alone kids with autism.

 

[wdwdancerwannabe]

I agree with the Previous poster -
Every child w/ autism is different, but most won't interact with you - at all.

This is the autism.

If you really want to help with these students - have a "sensory box" - (interesting toys/maniupalitives to touch, squeeze, smell, etc.) handy. But most parents of these (and many other) children should have these items handy.

A bean bag - or any large cushion chair that "swallows them" would also help many of these children when they are having a melt down.

 

[Forevryoung]

I've just recently begun working at WDW. Today a family was checking in with an autistic child, who was very agitated. I wanted so much to go over and try to interact with him so his parents could check in more easily, but didn't really know what to do. I was afraid of agitating him further and doing more harm than good. Do any of you have any hints?

I don't have autism and I dont have children but I think your awareness is awesome. I have worked with children with autism before, I think while it definitely depends on the child (and their ability for interaction) asking a question such as "who is your favorite character?" is probably a good question to start a "Disney related" conversation. Depending on the age of the child, maybe point out a few things in the lobby of the hotel and tell him/her about them. As it gets warmer out you can ask if they like swimming (don't do it in December , if they start fixating on swimming and it's 40* outside the parents are going to come after you ) If they dont answer, don't take it personally

I wouldn't talk about how they are feeling. For example "are you excited?" is probably not a great question.

Hope you love your new job!

 

[SueM in MN]

I just want to say - thank you for caring enough to ask the question.

 

[freckles and boo]

A bean bag - or any large cushion chair that "swallows them" would also help many of these children when they are having a melt down.

So true. Even though it is tough to pull one of these out of a hat, they can work miracles.

 

[BeckyScott]

First off, I agree with everyone else, thank you for caring!

Like Freckles suggested, your best option might be to approach the parents and ask them if there is anything you can do.

I had a slightly similar situation- I was with DS at the children's hospital, cafeteria, buying lunch. It was pretty chaotic, I picked the wrong time to go in there. We were in line to pay, and I had a backpack, a tray of food, trying to dig out my debit card, and keep one hand on DS, who was having a meltdown. I honestly wanted to have a meltdown right along with him.

This kind woman behind me in line asked me if there was anything she could do to help. While I knew she couldn't handle DS's meltdown, she could hold my tray for a sec while I dealt with him. And that was a significant thing at the time.

I went to a Parent Training at Judevine, where they teach a version of ABA. What they had us do, as parents, if the kid starts to tantrum, is to 1) make sure they can't hurt themselves, but 2) ignore the behavior while at the same time doing something really cool that might distract them. That wasn't in crowds, though. But it might be worth a shot. Don't try to directly interact, do "parallel play" sort of, close enough for the child to notice but not so close that they'll feel like you're in their face.

 

[2angelsinheaven]

LoveStitch, that is awesome that you thought about those parents and how to make their check-in easier. In my role I am willing to do just about anything to assist parents with children who have autism as I use to work at a school for special needs prior to my current role and understand just how one little thing can make a world of difference. Crowds, lines, etc can be a major issue, I try to find one parent a quiet place to sit while the other checks in OR take their paperwork, check them in and then bring them the papers they need to sign, etc. May I ask where your role is?

 

[LoveStitch]

Good feedback...thank you all, and I would still love any other thoughts that may come.

You made me think of something...at a training session we were given these funny little toys - squishy balls, a little frog with soft rubber spikes, and such - that might be the kind of sensory thing you were talking about. I haven't really known what to do with them (other than look at them because they're cute!) Maybe I could carry one around in my pocket for such an occasion.

The advice that seems most reasonable for me, which came from several of you, was to try to do something a child might notice and get interested in, without directly approaching him or her. My tendency would have been to try to interact with him, and that wouldn't have been helpful.

Thanks...and if you have any more ideas I'd love to hear from you!

 

[freckles and boo]

Good feedback...thank you all, and I would still love any other thoughts that may come.

You made me think of something...at a training session we were given these funny little toys - squishy balls, a little frog with soft rubber spikes, and such - that might be the kind of sensory thing you were talking about. I haven't really known what to do with them (other than look at them because they're cute!) Maybe I could carry one around in my pocket for such an occasion.
QUOTE]

Those are exactly the types of things in my daughter's sensory box. Only share if you don't want them back! My daughter loves her "fidgies" and if you shared a new fidgie with her she would have a meltdown if you asked her to return it!

 

[2angelsinheaven]

LovesStitch, sent you a PM.

 

[LoveStitch]

Those are exactly the types of things in my daughter's sensory box. Only share if you don't want them back! My daughter loves her "fidgies" and if you shared a new fidgie with her she would have a meltdown if you asked her to return it!

No problem with that! I've already put the toys I have into the bag that I carry back and forth to work, in case they can become useful...and now I know what to do with the myriad of those that we seem to acquire in training!

 

[Nik's Mom]

Hi! We have 2 children on the spectrum. Our 7 year old ds has high functioning autism and our 4 year old ds has autistic tendencies and possibly SID. The best thing you can do is just give us a reassuring comment or ask if you can help. Believe it or not, when our kids are having a meltdown, it means so much when people just give us that "it's going to be o.k." look instead of "look at those brats" looks.

You are so kind to even ask what you could have done. Thank you so much. You must have a kind heart!

 

[MommytoMJM]

Your instincts about further agitating the child were good. The best thing you can do is ask the parents if they could use some help. They usually know best what would ease the situation. As for engaging the child, there is no simple answer. Each child is different. Some, like my daughter, are hyposensitive. It takes a lot to get her agitated, but she likes to touch things, run, and lay on the ground. She loves strangers and would be your best friend in a moment. Others are hypersensitive and are easily overstimulated. It is better not to add to their crisis by introducing a new element (your attempt at conversation would be very unfamiliar for a child who likes predictability and routine). I would love it if there was a way to avoid waiting in line for 45 minutes to check in - not an easy wait for typical kids, let alone kids with autism.

My MJ is this way exactly (people often look at me weird when I tell them she has autism, but then I tell them it's a spectrum) It takes a LOT to over stim MJ, but when we do, watch out....we have been given meds to help with that because she is self and others injuring, but they take a while to take effect, so a CM helping us to First Aid is a great thing. We live here so are in the parks often and have had to use CM's help often and we are so grateful there are CM's like you who are there for us. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. I hope we meet you one day, MJ picture is in my siggie.

I just want to say - thank you for caring enough to ask the question.

Me too!

Good feedback...thank you all, and I would still love any other thoughts that may come.

You made me think of something...at a training session we were given these funny little toys - squishy balls, a little frog with soft rubber spikes, and such - that might be the kind of sensory thing you were talking about. I haven't really known what to do with them (other than look at them because they're cute!) Maybe I could carry one around in my pocket for such an occasion.
The advice that seems most reasonable for me, which came from several of you, was to try to do something a child might notice and get interested in, without directly approaching him or her. My tendency would have been to try to interact with him, and that wouldn't have been helpful.

Thanks...and if you have any more ideas I'd love to hear from you!

Just know that you most likely will lose those balls MJ loves stickers so those are probably good to have around, the dol;lar stores around here have lots of that kind of stuff around.

 

[Bugsmom73]

Thank you enough for caring. This post brought tears to my eyes. My son is a sensory seeker, meaning he is hyposensitive and those are great items. The ability to have one parent check in and the other one be off in another location would be nice. We typically have only one parent wait in line, after a day of travelling, for some odd reason my kids don't want to stand it inline

We were treated extremely well the last time we went to Disney and it is why we will return, because for a few short days we can escape reality. BTW, walmart carries some great things for about 88cents a piece too.

 

[2angelsinheaven]

To MJ's Mom, I think I saw you guys during the P&P parties back in Feb. I believe I caught MJ dancing her heart out at Flounder's Reef Dance party (I think this was the name of it). What a sweet little girl. I know she has a pin collection are there any she is looking for or does she collect a certain type?
If you ever come over to cruise with DCL I'd love to meet you guys.

 

[wvdislover]

LoveStitch, thanks for caring!

 

[Dis1978]

just also wanted to say thanks for caring. It's so good to hear.

I also am just sick of people thinking my son is badly behaved or spoilt.

In a meltdown situation my honest opinion would be to stay well clear of the child but any offer of help to the parent will, I am sure, be hugely appreciated.
I often feel like having a meltdown myself in these situations!

I am starting ABA with my Aspie teen tomorrow and would love to hear from anyone who has tried this.

 

[quiltymom]

Yes, thanks for caring enough to ask! DS (high-functioning) has a difficult time with transitions and can have big meltdowns when he wants to. The biggest thing you could do in this situation, to me, is to somehow inform the other guests who may be staring and wondering why these parent's cannot control their child is to help them understand that it's not bad parenting, but a hidden disability.

We just need to let DS cry it out, so offering a quiet place to go would work. If not, just a corner away from all other distractions. Or even a TV corner with cartoons for distraction!

I'm kinda rambling here, but koosh balls & rabbits feet also work well. The rabbit's foot can also be attached to a beltloop from it's chain, so the child can carry it around with them and not loose it.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

The best advice I can give is to always, always, always ask the parents first before giving or saying anything to the child. My son has Asperger's and sometimes still has his little meltdowns (although they're getting less frequent as he gets older). I always appreciate that people are concerned and want to help, but there are things that can actually be detrimental to the situation and only the parents know what's really best.

For example, autistic kids often get fixated on certain objects and they won't give them up for anything. If you were to hand a child an object (like a car, train or animal) that's one of his fixations, his parents would have an even worse time getting it away from him. Even if you let him keep it, it might become of source of grief for the parents for the rest of the trip. They may have worked for months to break a fixation and a well-meaning person unknowingly hands them the object and it starts all over again.

My son has a strong affinity for donuts (yes, donuts!). He loves them and can't stand to see other people eat them if he can't have one. Last year at his school, there was a parent volunteer breakfast that included a tray of donuts. Each class came out to the quad to say thank you to the parents and the kids were instructed not to touch the food. My son saw the donuts and proceeded to have a meltdown (I had already left for work but heard several accounts). We are still teaching him that meltdowns and the "I want its" will never, ever get results. Well, a mom from his class saw his distress and felt sorry for him (he's in a mainstream class, not special ed so many of the parents don't understand). The mom brought him a bag of three donuts afterschool and gave them to him before I could say anything. She really meant well, but he learned that meltdowns in the morning mean donuts in the afternoon.

My point is that you never know what the situation is and what a parent has been working on with their child. I think it's wonderful that you want to help and many of the above ideas were good ones. I would just encourage you to always ask the parents if you can help first. If you want to hand something to the child, show it to the parent first and say, "Is it OK for him to have this?" The parents will totally appreciate your efforts and you may well help them have an easier time with a cranky kid!