For Motherless Daughters only...

I'm going thru some similar emotions today. My Dad died Jan 18, 2004 after a long illness, my Mom died of complications due to severe Alzheimers in Nov 2001. Yesterday March 18th I put up the only home they ever lived in (49 Years) for sale. We already got a buyer. Sold in 6 hours. I have been praying to St. Joseph and St. Patrick. My Mom's favorite holiday was St. Patricks Day.
 
It's been 30 years since my mom died from ovarian cancer when I was 20, and I don't think a day goes by that I don't think of her or wish I could share some little thing that happened. But it's not painful to think of her anymore. Now it usually puts a smile on my face.

Neither of my parents (my dad died 47 years ago) got to see their two children grow up to have children of their own. I know they would be so proud of our wonderful loving families and successful lives. :)
 
I too totally understand. My Mom died in 1964....I was only 14 yrs old. Tomorrow, March 19th is her birtday.

I still think to this day of all of the wonderful mother/daughter things we never got to do together. She never got to hold any of her grandchildren.

I will always miss her..

:grouphug:
 

:hug: My dad's death was similar. Started with lung cancer, spread to the bone, a spot on his liver. He was in the hospital, but my mom called me after he died. I guess he didn't want me and my sister to know and rush up. That's all I can figure. When my mom called me she said...he stopped breathing. My first words were...he's on a respirator? She said...no. :( Then it sank in. He's now gone almost 13 years. June 30 will be 13 years. :( I miss him sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much! He was always as healthy as an ox until cancer hit. I guess that's what made it tougher.

My mom will be gone 10 years on May 4. She wasn't as much of a shock because she had major health problems through the years...diabetes, open heart surgery 17 years before she died of a heart attack. Still very sad and I miss her also. I think losing a parent is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard! Blessings to you! :hug:
 
Not my mom but DH's died 17 years ago and he still misses her so much. He is the youngest and a "surprise" baby so he was her special one I think. His Dad is difficult to deal with and that doesn't make it any easier. He will talk about her once in a while, mostly to say how much she would have loved our DD. Once he told me he wishes he could have her back just for five minutes, so he could intorduce her to DD and let her see that he is happy. She had cancer all over, the initial diagnosis was brain cancer and the docs gave her 6 months, she died 10 years later. DH was the last one to speak to her, she was in the hospital but no one expected this time to be "it."

I think the pain may ease but it is a part of who you are just as she was a part of you.
 
I too understand how you feel. Both of my parents are gone, and I don't have any brothers or sisters. It can be a very lonely feeling sometimes.:hug:
 
:hug: Im so sorry your having a rough day. My mom died 4 years ago from Cancer. She knew she had a mass but put off seeing the dr for a few months. By then it was at Stage IV and continued to spread very rapidly. My father died when I was very young and Im an only, so it was just me and mom.
I miss how she used to spoil my 2 oldest, she never met my 2 youngest. I was 7 months pregnant when she died. My bad days seem to hit out of the blue. I think because I expect her birthday, April 6, or the day she died to be bad I "brace" myself for it. Then suddenly on a day with no special meaning it will be bad. My mom, Frances, was only 53 when she died.
 
prayers and tears sometime heal
don't know what to say except its okay to feel awful sad sometimes
 
I am sorry that you are feeling bad. I understand the lack of closure. My mom died 29 years ago just before my birthday. She died of a cerebral hermmorage, so we had no warning. I was 23 at the time. My dad died 5 years later of a heart attack. Neither one was there when I was fighting breast cancer at age 32. They weren't there when DD was born. There are many times that I think how sad it is that they didn't get to know my daughter or see what my sister and brothers have made of ourselves. On the otherhand, they both died quickly with very little suffering. I am thankful for that. I don't know how people handle watching their parents waste away.

I hope you get to feeling better!
 
My mother died when I was 17 and had just graduated from high school. I really missed her when I got married, when my sons were born, and sometimes would just like to talk to her. It has been 31 years and I still miss her. I can understand your feelings completely. You never get over the loss. Take care.
 
You know, sometimes we forget that we aren't the only people that have suffered these losses. Thank-you for reminding me that there a many of you out there, feeling the same as I do..bereft and alone. My mom has been gone for almost 6 months now and I feel that same way. She carried me, gave me life and now she's gone. I'm crying sitting here. Bless you all as you move through each day with-out your parent. I see that is stays hard, even after decades. But you all handle it so gracefully that I have hope for the future. Now, I have to go find a kleenex. I'll never learn to keep a box handy. Hang in there all of you.
 
:grouphug: for all us motherless daughters. It is hard, but time and faith will do wonders... My mom has been gone 7 years, and I miss her everyday. She was my best friend. She left a legacy of love and faith in her 4 kids (and now 5 grandkids) that we will be forever grateful for.
This song has meant so much since then.

Precious Memories

Precious memories, unseen angels
Sent from somewhere to my soul
How they linger, ever near me
And the sacred scenes unfold.

Precious memories, how they linger
How they ever flood my soul
In the stillness of the midnight
Precious, sacred scenes unfold.

Precious father, loving mother
Fly across the lonely years
And old home scenes of my childhood
In fond memory appear.

In the stillness of the midnight
Echoes from the past I hear
Old-time singing, gladness bringing
From that lovely land somewhere.

I remember mother praying
Father, too, on bended knee
Sun is sinking, shadows falling
But their prayers still follow me.

As I travel on life's pathway
Know not what the years may hold
As I ponder, hope grows fonder
Precious memories flood my soul.
 
I'm sorry. I understand, my mother died of pancreatic cancer 11 years ago. She died on December 29th so the holidays are always hard. Shen never got to see any of us get married or have children. :(
 
Another adult orphan here. Lost my mom in October of '97 to lung cancer. A few years later I found out through an internet search that the father I never knew had died in '93.

My mom was waked on my wedding anniversary wearing the dress she wore to my wedding (her choice). There are so many times I wish she were here. So many things I wish I could share with her.

What I do share are so many happy memories - many involving Disney.

Love you mom!
 
Oh.... {{{{hugs}}}} to all of you...

Maybe this thread will save someone who is putting off a Dr visit.... So sad....
 
I think a :grouphug: is in order.

It's so hard not having a mom. I got married last year and I was so sad that she couldn't be there. I put a couple of lines in the program, but I would have had her walk me down the aisle with my dad. She didn't see any of us get married, and only my brother's spouse actually met her. And it will be sad when one of us 3 kids have a baby, because my mom would have been a wonderful grandmother. She was such a good cook too. I can't even think about how much she meant to me. She taught me how to tie my shoes, how to wink, you name it. But she's part of me. Even though years after her death I'm not over it, but I've learned to live with it. I hope someday I'll see her again.

Note to women: get your pap smears! My mom's cervical cancer would have been detected earlier if she'd just gone to the gyno every year, and so she'd probably still be alive today. So do what the doctor says and get everything checked just in case. Cancer doesn't have to run in your family for you to die from it. :mad:
 
Thank you everyone, from my heart. :hug: You have no idea how your words have touched me. Being a Motherless Daughter is something that ties us together in a way nobody can understand until they join the "club" :( .

I've heard once that you remain the "age" you were when your Mom died. I can somewhat relate to that as I don't feel "grownup" at times and still feel young and scared at 23.

There is a local support group here called Motherless Daugthers (I think) that I was thinking of joining. The only drawback for me is I think I would cry constantly. But maybe that would be good and it would stop eventually. They do things like monthly meetings, a huge breakfast and balloon release on Mother's Day, things like that.

Now that I know that I'm not weird for "not being over it", I can accept the sadness that comes on certain days. Yesterday I almost had to pull over in the van a couple of times from sobbing so hard... simple thoughts like I mentioned before (Did I do anything like what they are doing? Was I talkative like my youngest or quiet like my middle?) But today I am a little better as tomorrow is my son's 8th birthday! :D I have some fun surprises set for him, but I also have a volunteer orientation at our hospital to go to (yes, all from that nurses thread still!) from 8:30am - 12noon. I'm looking forward to helping people.

Thanks again everyone. Your kind words, thoughts and stories helped me through a sad day. Thank you.

Karen
 
I lost my Mom 34 years ago, I was only 6 and she was only 45. Too young for either of us. I wonder constantly how life would have been different if they had better ways to detect and treat breast cancer back then. I think sometimes I was spared the rough times because I was so young and don't remember her hospitalizations. Back then kids couldn't go to the hospital. There have been times where I have cried for her, like when I had my own breast cancer scare 3 years ago. I was lucky enough to be treated by her surgeon and that gave me great peace.
As much as I miss my Mom now, I miss my Dad more, he passed away 5 years ago and I lived at home and took care of him. He was the best, he more than covered for Mom being gone. I know they both are looking down from heaven and are so proud of how their kids turned out!
I too, will sweat out turning 45 as both my sisters have, but who doesn't mark the time when they outlived their parents?
Hugs to all who have lost their Moms and Dads.
Judy
 










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