? For Middle School Theater Parents

[mom2AidanAndEli]

This may sound like a really dumb question, but I'm at a total loss! My son is in 7th grade, middle school. His school is doing a Disney Review production--songs from a bunch of different shows--and he's in the ensemble. No lead parts, but lots of singing and dancing!

So here's the question. They do three performances--a Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. I've just gotten the form to order tickets and I don't know what to do! Do I go all three nights? Just opening night? Just closing? It would feel funny to drop him off to do something like this and not stay around to watch. On the other hand, sitting through the same thing three times seems like a bit of overkill. He says just one is fine. But I don't want him to feel bad that there's no one there one night.

On a side note, we don't have much family at all, so it will be just me, my husband, and other son. Possibly my MIL one night, possibly some close family friends one night.

What do other theater parents do????

 

[superme80]

I would check with him to see if he wants you there opening night. My mom never sees my shows on opening night. She says she wants the kinks worked out first.

 

[leebee]

I go to all my DD's dance productions, if they aren't too far away. Nutcracker is 10 shows, across 2 states, and I usually see 7 or 8 of them. For local productions, I usually go to all the shows (usually 2 or 3). If I had to choose, I'd go opening night and closing night. If DH can go, I'll go opening night, we'll both go for the closing performance, and one or the other of us (or really close friends) will go to the others. However, I know that DD's performance days are numbered, and would really hate to miss out on what could be her last production.

 

[gregokdisney]

If it's less than a week's run, I go to all the shows. My daughter is in a musical opening soon with 8 performances. I'll go to opening night, then two other shows during the run. But back in middle school, for the three night runs, I went to all of them.

She performs with our city's symphony at 5 Christmas concerts, and I go to all of those. It gets pricey! Between this musical she's in and two concerts she's singing in with our city's children's choir, I spent $200 on tickets for our family. Such is the life of a performer's mom!

 

[powellrj]

It really depended on how much I liked the show. If it was something I enjoyed we would go every night, but some of the shows just weren't my cup of tea and those we would only go to once.

 

[Kbee]

My ds is in his school play this year. I'm going to both nights and also one morning show that they put on for the students. He doesn't have a lead role but he's in a bunch of scenes. Since its his first ever performance I want to be there for all the shows.
My dd is in HS and in chorus. They have several concerts throughout the year, some on multiple nights. I go to very few of hers now.

 

[RejoyceoverDisney]

My son is older now but when he was in Middle school and high school he was in shows. You could ask if they need help backstage one of the nights. I know for the middle school show we NEVER had enough help back stage. It's not like you do much but keep the kids quiet and help them with a costume if they need help. There was one show that this one kid was not behaving at all and his mother wasn't back stage at all. She had decided to sit for all 3 shows and let those back stage deal with her son. I wasn't happy. I usually only sat for 1 show. If it was a really good show I liked to watch the first and the last to see the difference.
Honestly I don't know if there is a right answer. You know your kid best and ask him what show he wants you at.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I'm a pretty seasoned theater mom. DS16 is a sophomore and has been in 19 shows since 4th grade. If the show is a musical and he has a lead role, DH and I go to every show. We sat through Pippin five times last year (he was Pippin)! If the show is double-cast and he's a lead, we go to all of his performances and make sure to see the other cast at least once. Many times, he's in a different cast than his friends and we want to support them too. If the show is not a musical, we go to opening and closing night. If he has a lead, we will go to at least one additional performance, and maybe two. He has a lead role in a play that's opening on Friday. He's doing four shows, with a fifth being performed by the understudy cast to give the leads a break. DH and I are going to opening and closing, plus an additional weekend show, so we'll see it three times. We are not seeing the understudy cast because we don't actually know any of the kids or their parents. (DS's friends are all in the original cast). DS likes having us at his performances. He's always anxious to hear our opinions. He's aspiring to be a musical theater major in college, so theater is his main focus in terms of activities.

 

[aprilgail]

So here's the question. They do three performances--a Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. I've just gotten the form to order tickets and I don't know what to do! Do I go all three nights? Just opening night? Just closing? It would feel funny to drop him off to do something like this and not stay around to watch. On the other hand, sitting through the same thing three times seems like a bit of overkill. He says just one is fine. But I don't want him to feel bad that there's no one there one night.


What do other theater parents do????

I go every. single. night. I feel terrible if I am not there to see her every night- she was in a production that ran 21 days, I missed ONE due to a prior commitment, but my brother and mother went to that one so someone was there for her. For middle school I did sign up to help backstage one of the nights so I was there, just not in the audience for one of the shows.

 

[lizabu]

If I'm available I go every night.

 

[Katy Belle]

Just do what feels right for you.

I have 2 boys in Godspell this weekend. One has a pretty big role. I bought tickets for all three shows. I may skip the middle show, but probably not. I know I will like it.

One son was in A midsummer Nights Dream a few months ago. He did not have a speaking role. I went to the first 2 shows and skipped the third. Shakespeare....why doth make dots plays so hard to understand! Seriously, it felt like work to watch it. Too many kids hard to understand, some iffy microphones, ugh!

At our school and our children's theatre, the actors come to the lobby following the show. Even if I haven't seen that show, I usually show up at the end to greet my kiddo. No fun if everyone else is hugging family and receiving gifts and you are there alone.

 

[anelson81993]

When I did middle and high school theatre, my parents attended one performance of each show I was in. Even the shows when I had lead parts, or the double-cast show where half my friends were in the other night's version, they attended one (and even then, they weren't always happy about it--I remember a lot of complaints about having to go see the two musicals I was in with ensemble roles, and about the ten-minute play night my senior year in which I was both an actor and director between two different shows). That honestly didn't really bother me; I knew that theatre wasn't really their thing, and between my friends who were in the show with me and my friends who came to watch, I never really felt unsupported. You know your son best, though, so do whatever feels best for you and him. I will say as a theatre geek that I prefer to go to closing night of shows I'll only be seeing once. I only go to opening night if I'll be going to another show later.

 

[XYSRUS]

I went to every show for my oldest when he was in theatre. Go! I promise you will get something out of each performance. It's like reading a book over and over. Plus your child would love to know you support him.

 

[PollyannaMom]

My nieces are in theater stuff at school, and my SIL usually tries to go to two. She's supportive, but in the end, she knows they're not really doing it for her, they're doing it because they enjoy it, so she doesn't always have to be involved.

In your case, I'd go to opening night and closing night. But I love Disney music, and would actually be looking forward to hearing it twice!

 

[momof2n2]

My boys (grades 9 and 7) just participated in the local Christian school's production of the Sound of Music. We homeschool, but that school welcomes homeschool students to help fill out their cast.

They had four shows: Friday evening, Saturday matinee, Saturday evening, and Sunday matinee.

My DH went to the Friday show and took three of our DD while I stayed home with youngest DD.
I went to Sat. matinee, then took them out to lunch, then went back for evening show. I was kicking myself by, "How do you solve a problem like Maria?" It's a LONG show with way too much singing. I texted most of that performance. (My boys had small roles.)
My mom and sister went to Sunday, and my oldest DD wanted to see it again, so I went. I was also helping with cast party after so I had to be there anyway.

Three times was way too much. Two times would have been plenty for me. I should have just went to the two matinees.

HTH.

 

[Arden01]

I think opening and closing night would be special. I always get my daughters flowers for opening night and take them out to dinner or dessert afterwards.

 

[kamik86]

When I did theater my parents. As well as my older siblings all went one night. Whatever was convenient for them and not always the same night. I had a few friends whose parents went every night (the way they said it was if their kids played sports they would go to more then one game... my reply was yes... but each game is different!)

I didn't feel like I needed someone from my family in the audience every night.

I will add however that when I was in high school I was doing shakespeare. Most of the time my father fell asleep and I don't think he could tell me afterwords what happened in any of the plays. I'm not actually sure I even made Dad go to them all, my mom did though.

Dad went to the softball games instead.

 

[mnrose]

Not Middle School, but long time theater mom. When there are multiple shows, I go once, maybe twice (especially if there are 4 or more shows). It has been my experience that no matter what/where the show, they are always looking for backstage volunteers (or ticket sales, refreshment sales, ushers, etc). I do that for a couple of shows too. That way, I can be there to show my support, but not necessarily watch the same show over and over.

My DD just completed a run in Shrek. 5 shows (all sold out....woohoo!). I went twice. I worked backstage 3 times.

I also watched the fall play (Our Town) 2 of 5 times. And, cried both times. Those high school kids can be shockingly good! LOL.

 

[mom2AidanAndEli]

Thank you all for the feedback! He says only once is fine, but I think I'm going to go all three nights. I just feel really funny not being there! At least it's Disney, so it should be fun!

 

[DopeyDame]

Holy cow - there are some really involved parents here! I was in a ton of plays - musical and straight - growing up. My parents came to at least one show every time. Every once in a blue moon they would come to two. I can't begin to imagine them sitting through every show. My kids are still little but I certainly can't see myself sitting through every one of their games/performances/competitions either. They need their space and I certainly don't need to see what they're dojng every single time