For life...take two..LINK TO PART 3 ON PAGE 245

[Leger13]

Ugh it's Monday what can I say? I spent the morning hours arguing with Kody about staying school all day.

And then the fun started. My Mom and I went and played at the Disney Outlet that is in Vacaville. Woo Hoo!

Ugh! The morning does not sound like fun but that outlet does!! What'd ya get???

Nope... back to the traditional school schedule.

So are you looking fwd to going back to traditional school schedule or do you prefer year round better?

Did you get anything good? We went to a Disney Outlet in Pigeon Forge TN last week and got a double beach towel, big enough for both of us. They didn't have much else, it was pretty much all Hannah Montana and High school Musical stuff.

Hey I MUST go to that outlet!! Where is it!? I'm thinking of taking a day trip up there some time soon. Oh and I saw your pictures of Smokey Mountain Knife Works. If I had known you were going there or what day we could have met you there. It's only a 2 or 3 hour drive from where we are.

 

[Leger13]

Hey Everyone.. I'm a little nervous about writing on here..but I've been reading a lot of the posts and you all seem like really great people

I'm well aware everyone has different problems, and everything that everyone on here is going through is equally important - but I just had such a bad day I need some good people to vent to..

My best friend of 12 years, Anna - we're 26years old, has been engaged for a year and her wedding is at the end of this month.. First, you should know, she is a GREAT person - she was never once materialistic, selfish, or betrayed my trust, in any way.

We've been through many other fake friends, but always remained true to each other.. Two years ago, I lost one of my "best friends," as I found out that she was seeing my now ex bf - it was a really hard loss for me because the only 2 friends I really had was her and Anna. So, I don't have many friends...good ones, at least.

I'm Anna's maid of honor and planned her entire Bachelorette Party - its 2 days, in NYC, and there is a lot planned! I really went above and beyond to make her the happiest I could. My ex-friend who is now with my ex-bf is also in the bridal party - so I've had to deal w/her and just had SO MUCH stress on my shoulders - but I finally finalized all plans last night and was just relieved to send that final email to update everyone!

Anyway, Anna has gone completely "bridezilla," and has been just complaining about everything from the seating charts to telling me that she's too stressed to know about anything having to do with the bachelorette party - including all the drama that's been going on (which I can understand - she just wants to be able to enjoy it) but she has just been inconsiderate.

I found out 6 mos. ago that my Dad has cancer - and I haven't been the same since.. Its really hard to watch him go through chemo, my Mom is devastated, I have to quit my job because I have to start student teaching in the fall, all while paying over $2,200 for Anna's bridal shower, gifts, dress, jewlery, engagement parties, and the bachelorette party - and have no one to really vent to (my Mom is wonderful at listening to my problems and offering advice but I feel terrible complaining about this stuff, when she has so much more on her plate - my boyfriend is great with my family stuff, but I hate venting about girl stuff as a lot of guys don't really understand weddings and all that).

Anyway, today, I felt like Anna had reached her worst point - she actually called herself "the bride," and I couldn't take it anymore and just completely lost it and told her that this whole wedding has changed her and shes become completely insensitive and inconsiderate. I was really harsh - respectful, but harsh - and she wrote me this long email explaining herself and how she felt. She had a lot of good points and I just immediately started to feel terrible.

THEN, my poor bf, who had been there for me the whole day with this issue of mine, I snapped on!

I feel like such an awful person.. not to mention its just hard to be home these days..

I haven't written Anna back yet - does anyone have some advice for me - this is where other friends would help me out a lot

For future reference, never be nervous about venting here. Everyone here is so caring and always ready to give advice or just a shoulder to cry on when needed. It's really just a great bunch and I'm glad that just from reading some of the pages here you felt comfortable coming to our thread with this.

I'm so sorry for all of the struggles in your life right now. It especially touched home with me when you said your Dad is sturggeling with cancer right now. My Mom had breast cancer 4 years ago and that too was the hardest thing to watch her go through. I hope your Dad gets better and things improve there. Also, don't put off talking with your Mom about the things that are bothering you right now. It might actually be a welcome to her to talk about something other than the stress that she's dealing with right now and it might make her feel good to help you out some. I know if it was me I would welcome the relief from my every day stress if I was dealing with my DH having cancer. But that's just me.

As for Bridezilla.....I agree with everyone else when they say that this warrents talking in person. I have found that emails back and forth tend to do more harm than good. Maybe go out, have a few drinks to relax you both and then lay it all out on the table about what all you are going through right now. I'm sure she would understand. Tell her you don't think this wedding is worth losing your friendship over. I have lost friends over sillier things than a wedding and it still hurts to this day and like you I only have one BFF (well, other than my DH of course). There's others that are "friends"....they come around when it's convenient for them....but no one is like that one BFF. I really hope you two can work things out and just laugh it off. Right now you need a friend in your life more than anything else that gets you so I really hope she can get over her wedding crap and be there for you like you have been there for her in planning her Bachelorette party and all.

Oh and Like another said....don't rule out your BF being able to help you too. Just because wedding stuff isn't his thing doesn't mean he wouldn't like to be a sounding wall. You never know, he might surprise you. Or maybe he can just help get things off our mind and focus on other things.

I know most of the stuff I have said is basically the same as everyone else but I hope we all have helped put you at ease a bit and I really hope all of these situations get better for you. Please let us know how it all turns out.

WOW

Activity on this thread

I think I might faint

I know me too! I'm not on here for a day and look what happens!!

Father's Day Gift

Ok, so I decided to help my daughters make a father's day gift.

We went to AC Moore and bought some 5" wood letters (D-A-D)...the kind that can stand up on their own. Then we are going to paint, modpodge, paper, and accessorize the letters. Inside each D will be a photo of one of the girls...I may try to make it a pouch so DH can change out the photos...

And yes, of course, I'll post a picture!

sounds like a great father's day gift! Can't wait to see the pictures

 

[Leger13]

Welcome DisneyBunny! I too am sorry you are having a rough time.

First, I'm very sorry about your Dad. I hope everything turns out okay. One of my best friends was recently diagnosed with terminal breast cancer, so I can empathize completely. It really takes on toll on you emotionally and physically to watch someone go through the fight of their life like that. It also tends to put things in perspective. Maybe that is why you are losing patience for the whole stressed out bride situation. If only seating arrangements were life's biggest problems, right?

Second, I totally agree with Marshay. You need to *talk* to her face to face. People say things in e-mails that they would never say to someone's face. People also tend to project emotions onto written words that perhaps the writer did not intend. I've seen a few friendships dissolve completely because what was a small issue grew into something a lot bigger because my friends tried to resolve something through e-mail. I know it can be uncomfortable to have those face to face conversations, especially if you dislike conflict as much as I do, but in the long run it's the best way to go.

Good luck with it. I hope you find a way to talk it out and then are able to enjoy the wedding of your dearest friend.

And you are always welcome here.

for you Love

And great advice!!

 

[Leger13]

As long as free counseling is being offered, here is my problem:

My 18 year old daughter will be graduating from HS Sunday. She has stayed 1 night at my house in the last 2 1/2 years. She prefers her mothers house w/no rules.

I spoke to my ex in Dec. about her open house, told her i would help out with it.....whatever they wanted to do, just let me know.......spoke with her again in March, same thing....I paid 1/2 for invites, announce., cap & gown etc.

Well, come to find out they are having an open house with out me or anyone from my family......I spoke to my daughter, she didnt have anything to say....Spoke to my ex, told me if I wanted to invite my family I needed to pay her $1500 for my half.......Of course I had no say in "my half" just fork out the cash........this is all 2 weeks before the open house........I talked to my daughter about having a family open house at our house......my daughter said she didnt want one......that really hurt........tears me up....then she told me her and her mom made poster boards of photos of her growing up, she told me they dont have a single photo of me in it........that really hurt.......

You can only imagine the words I would like to use here to describe my ex........*$%&*#@*(&*%$ yep all those!!
My daughter has told me and DW to come to the open house.......
My question is: Should I go???.......I will be honest I am thinking about skipping it......The posters would crush me, I dont get along real well with my ex family....we wouldnt argue or anthing like that.....we just dont care for each other.........
MY DD didnt even ask for photos from all the Disney trips we have been on together......

BTW,
She is leaving for Phoenix AZ in 2 weeks to live with her grandparents and go to a Comm. college there....I just bought her a laptop to take to school.......

Thanks in advance......

UJ is really hurting over this one........

My heart goes out to you UJ. Too much these days I hear of situations like this where the EX that has custody of the child just makes the other parent's life a living hell and uses the child against them. They just don't realize how it affect the child in the middle. I just can't stand it! I'm so sorry you are being treated this way. I would be torn about going / not going as well and I'm torn on which way to advise you to go. I mean, I've never been in this situation and I really don't know what I would do if it were me dealing with this. On one hand I want to tell you to go because if you don't it will just reflect negatively on you and give your ex more reason behind the way she is trying to make you look like the bad parent in this situation if you don't go.....but on the other hand I know you will be saddened by the fact that your family isn't at the party and that there are no pictures of you on the collage if you do go. So it's basically a decision of how you want your daughter to perceive you in the long run. Hopefully if you do go to the party, once she is older and has had more life experiences of her own she will look back on all the things/events you went to no matter how uncomfortable/impossible your ex made it for you, and she will appreciate it all and realize what a great man her father really is.

 

[kaoden39]

that outlet was awesome!! i think we are going to go on the 13th when they get another shipment!!

what did you get? all i got was a B&tB phone charm..

Well, since you asked. I got the cups with the lids, Loren and Kacy tshirts, Kody Camp Rock stuff with her beloved Kevin on them, and a couple of Disneyland books. Oh and I got a POTC watch.

 

[Leger13]

Yup!! Dixie Landings!! I've always wanted to go to Disney in any other month besides July or August - but with school and work I've never been able to.. so in 98, I was there during the summer - but I'm hoping my mom and I can do a Christmas trip soon It just looks amazing there in Dec.

Both Sharky and I are going in December to WDW this year so you can live vicariously through us

I have a ptr started already

 

[cherbear]

Hi Cheri, I am so sorry to hear you wrecked your car. I hate that. Those darn shingles jumping right in your way, how dare they? Well hopefully you can get it all straightened out and get your car fixed and not have it cost you a fortune!!! [/B]

Thanks!! I hope so too!

I had such a good time on my trip with you, I just can't seem to recall details, lol. Will be looking for those pics so tell me when and if you decide to post them, lol. I do remember our hanging out at the pool at your hotel, that was so nice meeting you and Mike, I really had a great time, you two are awesome!

LOL you did have a little drink..

you're so sweet!

 

[cherbear]

You can take food of solid consistency. Make sure for instance, no packets of mustard, ketchup, anything like that

oh I had no idea you could take solids. hah, shows how not up-to-date I am.

what did you do..must read on

Oh no girl..that sucks

Glad Mike was able to rescue you

when you going to take it for estimate?

not sure yet. We have another issue today which I'll elaborate on in a bit...

Oh how awful...

thanks for the hug...I sure needed it!

 

[kaoden39]

As long as free counseling is being offered, here is my problem:

My 18 year old daughter will be graduating from HS Sunday. She has stayed 1 night at my house in the last 2 1/2 years. She prefers her mothers house w/no rules.

I spoke to my ex in Dec. about her open house, told her i would help out with it.....whatever they wanted to do, just let me know.......spoke with her again in March, same thing....I paid 1/2 for invites, announce., cap & gown etc.

Well, come to find out they are having an open house with out me or anyone from my family......I spoke to my daughter, she didnt have anything to say....Spoke to my ex, told me if I wanted to invite my family I needed to pay her $1500 for my half.......Of course I had no say in "my half" just fork out the cash........this is all 2 weeks before the open house........I talked to my daughter about having a family open house at our house......my daughter said she didnt want one......that really hurt........tears me up....then she told me her and her mom made poster boards of photos of her growing up, she told me they dont have a single photo of me in it........that really hurt.......

You can only imagine the words I would like to use here to describe my ex........*$%&*#@*(&*%$ yep all those!!
My daughter has told me and DW to come to the open house.......
My question is: Should I go???.......I will be honest I am thinking about skipping it......The posters would crush me, I dont get along real well with my ex family....we wouldnt argue or anthing like that.....we just dont care for each other.........
MY DD didnt even ask for photos from all the Disney trips we have been on together......

BTW,
She is leaving for Phoenix AZ in 2 weeks to live with her grandparents and go to a Comm. college there....I just bought her a laptop to take to school.......

Thanks in advance......

UJ is really hurting over this one........

One thing I can say is your daughter will grow up and realize how much you love her and it will get better. But you ex well there are a few words I could add about her. Wow that is so cold. I probably wouldn't go myself but I would regret it later. All I can say is I am sorry UJ.

 

[cherbear]

Ruh-ro!!! Sorry about your car Cheri!

Thanks...I appreciate all the sympathies from everyone!

I DO need a house buying trip! His company will pay for me to fly down and stay for SEVEN days!!! But then I'd have to find someone to watch my kids... so we probably won't take advantage of that unless we sell our house really fast and we just can't wait until July to find something there. They will pay for my mileage/gas/food to drive there too so at least that will be nice for the trip with the kids.

oh that is really great!

Hello all!

Sorry to hear about the car Cheri.

thanks...y'all are so supportive here. Love my girls!

 

[cherbear]

Father's Day Gift

Ok, so I decided to help my daughters make a father's day gift.

We went to AC Moore and bought some 5" wood letters (D-A-D)...the kind that can stand up on their own. Then we are going to paint, modpodge, paper, and accessorize the letters. Inside each D will be a photo of one of the girls...I may try to make it a pouch so DH can change out the photos...

And yes, of course, I'll post a picture!

that sounds SO nice....you are SO crafty! (as if we didn't know that already...)

 

[cherbear]

First of all ... welcome to the thread...sorry, your first post here is on a bad day ... but sometimes just writing out the situation and how you feel (with or without posting) is very cathartic!

My advice -- get on the phone with Anna or arrange to talk to her in person tomorrow. The circumstances you both have been going through warrant that you deal with this in person -- do not send email.

She's your friend...talk to her as a friend. Friends forgive each other and love each other and do crazy things both good and bad ... but friends are there for friends and you have to be honest with one another.

Good luck!

Don't be nervous, we don't bite, well not that hard anyway, lol.

I'm sorry to hear about all what you are going through. I think the stress of your dad's cancer and worrying about him and how it is affecting your Mom along with the wedding stuff you are planning and losing a friend and boyfriend is getting to you. First I would say you now have a great boyfriend who apparently is there for you, even though he doesn't quite understand the wedding stuff and get how it affects you, is good. Use him to lean on, he may not understand why it is affecting you this way but he is there for you so let him take your mind off things, let him be your happy place and put that stuff out of your mind for a little while when you are with him, just relax and enjoy having someone care for you and about you! Also since you have this boyfriend now, let the other stuff go, it's over and done, you can't go back and change it and I know it hurt you that your best friend and boyfriend betrayed you but just think of it this way.....they deserve each other, don't give them enough importance in your life to let it upset you. Know that you are better off without them, treat them like a casual acquaintance and let the rest of it go. Don't let them spoil this wedding for you.

As for "bridezilla" you said she wrote you a heartfelt letter and she made a lot of good points and you now feel terrible. Instead of letting yourself get even more upset by feeling bad, write her a nice long letter back, or call her, tell her you see her points and you are sorry that you got so upset but you have a lot on your plate as well and you did your best to make her bachlorette party the best ever and it hurt your feelings when she brushed it off. I'm sure she will see your good points as well and you two can get past all that. Weddings are a wonderful thing but leading up to them can be very stressful and emotional, don't let any of that ruin your friendship. The wedding will be over, the stress will be gone and let the hurts go away and just enjoy your friendship. Life is too short to hold a grudge, take my word for it, I am the senior member of this group of DIS buds and I've had a lot of experience over the years and I have come to realize what is important in life and what is just not worth ruining friendships or getting upset over.

So my advice is to know you did the best you could with the party for your bridezilla and just enjoy the fun. Lean on your new boyfriend and put the other boyfriend and ex bf behind you, they aren't worth the time you waste being upset with them, be there for your Dad and your Mom and let your boyfriend help you through a very emotional time. Finally enjoy the wedding, enjoy your life and don't sweat the small stuff!

well I can't give any better advice than what these 2 offered!

I hope that it all works out in the end!

 

[cherbear]

Sorry, I'm one of those guys who dont understand all that wedding stuff.....it's just not that important to us!!!! IMO, Your focus should be on your dad......nothing is more important than family.......nothing.......in 20 years you will know what I mean.......

IMO opinion most woman put way too much into the wedding ceremony and not enough in to the marriage.......

Explain your stress level to your friend ......apologize, she will probably apologize too.......remember her stress level is high too, her wedding day is the most important thing in her life right now.......(a mistake in my opinion). Go out for a long lunch with no other distractions......it will work out!!!!

Watch the movie with Anna about the girl who hires the male escort to go to her sisters wedding in England...very funny chick flick!!!! Her ex is at the wedding also!!

Come on ladies you know what one I'm talking about.....???

Welcome to this thread.......

UJ
aka Uncle John

A guys perspective for what its worth

I don't know about one in England but isn't there a Jennifer Aniston movie like that...."Picture Perfect"!

Perhaps Uncle John would come down and watch them! It could be like...

 

[cherbear]

As long as free counseling is being offered, here is my problem:

My 18 year old daughter will be graduating from HS Sunday. She has stayed 1 night at my house in the last 2 1/2 years. She prefers her mothers house w/no rules.

I spoke to my ex in Dec. about her open house, told her i would help out with it.....whatever they wanted to do, just let me know.......spoke with her again in March, same thing....I paid 1/2 for invites, announce., cap & gown etc.

Well, come to find out they are having an open house with out me or anyone from my family......I spoke to my daughter, she didnt have anything to say....Spoke to my ex, told me if I wanted to invite my family I needed to pay her $1500 for my half.......Of course I had no say in "my half" just fork out the cash........this is all 2 weeks before the open house........I talked to my daughter about having a family open house at our house......my daughter said she didnt want one......that really hurt........tears me up....then she told me her and her mom made poster boards of photos of her growing up, she told me they dont have a single photo of me in it........that really hurt.......

You can only imagine the words I would like to use here to describe my ex........*$%&*#@*(&*%$ yep all those!!
My daughter has told me and DW to come to the open house.......
My question is: Should I go???.......I will be honest I am thinking about skipping it......The posters would crush me, I dont get along real well with my ex family....we wouldnt argue or anthing like that.....we just dont care for each other.........
MY DD didnt even ask for photos from all the Disney trips we have been on together......

BTW,
She is leaving for Phoenix AZ in 2 weeks to live with her grandparents and go to a Comm. college there....I just bought her a laptop to take to school.......

Thanks in advance......

UJ is really hurting over this one........

oh man, that is just NOT RIGHT! I'm SO sorry to hear how badly you're being treated by your ex, and what she's causing your daughter to do. Like others have said, your daughter will realize one day what a great father you are and the hurt her actions have caused. I don't understand why she would blatantly volunteer the info about not having you in any of the pictures. How did she say it? It just seems very cold.

I like it. Very cute

WOW

I would be furius at your ex

Now try not to get mad at your daughter....this is all your ex's influence.

I would go.....I am sure your dauaghter wants you there..she is just going along with whatever your ex says....

I understand how hurt you must be, though..so sorryr


I would make some of my own posters and bring them with me.

Slap them up on tress all around the ex house..heck put some on stakes and put them in her lawn..sure she would love that


Seriously

I agree with Sharky!

And seriously I think I would bring my own posters, or something to that effect.

Let us know what you ultimately decide.

 

[cherbear]

Yes - I think if nothing else was wrong in life, for me, I'd be totally fine hearing about seating arrangements and aisle runners - youre right, I should definitely chat in person, but I think I will write her back a little email before accepting her invite


This is very great advice! I hope you don't mind, but I used some of your words in a reply email to her - "friends are there for friends"


This is all really great advice - I really wish I could just let them go (my ex and my ex friend) and trusttttt me it has nothing to do with having feelings for him - she just shocked and hurt me so much that its so hard to get over.. but youre right - I shouldnt let this into my life.

Hi Jersey Girl, Sharky, its nice to meet you, I'm Corrine. I am 26 years old, full time teacher's assistant with 5 amazing students with autism, a full time student at MSU for my teaching cert in K-5 & Special Ed., never been married (which might be why I don't understand this wedding drama business) and I have a trip planned in Aug. to Disney (taking my bf for his first time) and I couldn't be more excited!

I hope your BF has a great first time at WDW...I remember my DH's first time...he told me not to be surprised if he stopped and went back to the room in the middle of the day (we were with my parents & sister) and to just let him go. But he NEVER STOPPED! He loved it! Then we went back the next 2 years in a row.

Oh btw I am Cheri, 26 also. (27 in 2 weeks though...:scared1) I live in southeast Louisiana, married with no kids yet. I have 2 furbabies though! One reallllly big one, and one very small one.

Ok - UJ, I have to say, I really appreciate the guys perspective! And actually, the things you say, coincide with the same things my bf says! And I'm glad to tell you, I just turned my phone on and had a message from my bf - telling me he understands why I snapped AND a message from Anna, asking me to meet her for drinks on Thursday, but if possible to talk sooner.

oh that is awesome!!

Again, thanks everyoneeeee for welcoming me. You all have helped me to feel a lot better! I really appreciate that! I'm glad to be part of the circle.

glad to have you, hope you enjoy the ride...

 

[cherbear]

You told me about this already but sorry to hear about it again....blah! Did you guys find a decent place to repair your car last night?

Thanks girl

no, not yet. Luckily Mike managed to pop the bumper back on last night...you can tell there is damage on the left side of it, but at least it's drivable for now!

 

[Leger13]

Thanks girl

no, not yet. Luckily Mike managed to pop the bumper back on last night...you can tell there is damage on the left side of it, but at least it's drivable for now!

Yay for Mike!! I'm really glad he was able to pop it back on for you so at least you don't have to worry about that right now.

 

[cherbear]

Good morning all!

 

[cherbear]

Yay for Mike!! I'm really glad he was able to pop it back on for you so at least you don't have to worry about that right now.

yeah, thank Goodness!

I really didn't want to worry immediately about getting it fixed if I don't have to.

We have a birthday luncheon today AND I have to leave early this afternoon to go to the dentist (just by biannual cleaning)

 

[cherbear]

6500!!!


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