For all those who have lost a loved one this past year

[Blondie]

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Some of you may remember that my nephew Sean was killed in a car accident on May 31st. He would've been 21 years old five days later.

I sent my SIL an e-greeting and here is what she e-mailed us back:

Dear Chuck, Kathy & Kids

Thanks for the Card. It was really nice of you to send it. The days are getting rougher as Christmas approaches. We are doing the best we can to keep the true Christmas spirit alive in our hearts. Sean loved everything about the holidays and, even when he grew up, he always seemed to get just as excited as if he were still a kid. I miss that more then words can say and I pray everyday that the sorrow I feel will be replaced with joy and happy memories. Please keep us in your prayers because they really do help. Thanks again for thinking of us and hopefully, we will see you all after the holidays. Have a very"Merry Christmas" and a great "New Year"!!!!
Love, Barbara

I can't even imagine the pain they are facing right now that Christmas is but a few days away.

How do parents who have lost a child cope at this time of year?

How do children who have lost their parents cope? I've also been thinking of Robin's Caitlyn and Beverly Lynn's Aryn, and Robin and Beverly Lynn's parents.

 

[Serena]

Blondie, that was very nice. This time of year is so hard for so many people. My thoughts and prayers said for them.

 

[Tony-NJ]

so sad at the holidays with loved ones gone.

 

[vellamint]

I lost my mom before Halloween......and it is getting harder every day as the holidays approach. I am trying not to dwell on her by keeping busy but it is hard and going to get harder.

 

[Kitty 34]

I just went to the viewing of the student that died last week. I know his Mom well and it just tore me apart to watch her crying over her son.

My heart goes out to all of you who have lost loved ones.

 

[ripleysmom]

This year was not a good year. Vellamint, I lost my mom this year too. She died at the beginning of October. It's been very hard lately. I find myself mostly missing the fact that she is not there to talk to or vent to. I keep seeing Christmas presents that she would have liked.

 

[sonogirl]

vellamint and ripleysmom,
I also lost my mom in October to cancer, sometimes we think we are all alone in our grief but we are not. We need to turn to our friends and loved ones to help us through this very hard time. I miss my mom very much and now at Christmas the loss is magnified. My thoughts are with you. Lori

 

[snoopy]

I was barely an adult when I lost both of my parents, who died in their early 50's. The grief is staggering, really, but nothing compared to the other way around, a parent losing their child. I cannot even fathom this type of grief, and I hope and pray I never have to.

I'll pray for your family, Blondie.

 

[Cindy B]

Originally posted by ripleysmom
This year was not a good year. Vellamint, I lost my mom this year too. She died at the beginning of October. It's been very hard lately. I find myself mostly missing the fact that she is not there to talk to or vent to. I keep seeing Christmas presents that she would have liked.

My mother in law ( I was very close to) passed in September. It has been very hard as well, on my husband (they were very close), and my kids. I too, keep on seeing Christmas presents she would like.

I had a rough moment the other day.. I was putting some gifts in gift bags, and I was checking the little card that goes with them. On the little card it said To Cindy from Mom xoxo... I just lost it!

My MIL bought everyone (all the adults) presents before she passed. It is going to be challenging to open those on Thursday.

 

[goofy4tink]

Wow. You know...sometimes you think you are the only one suffering and struggling with the loss of a loved one. I'm so sorry to hear of so many struggling with this. I lost my mom quite unexpectdly in early Oct. also. It helps to know there are others feeling the same things. How many times do we go to the phone to tell the missing loved one something they would find funny or to ask their advice? I find myself talking to my mother all the time and getting funny looks from people because I forget that I'm out in public!! So, to all of you in the same boat with me....I'm sending wishes and hopes that we all find some peace and healing during this most blessed of seasons. Thanks to all of you for showing me I'm not alone.

 

[clutter]

My sister lost her husand this past May. They were beginning their empty nest years, and had truly re-kindled their relationship. It's been tough on everyone, but especially my sister, since her home is just so empty now.

My heart goes out to everyone that lost a relative this year. It's just too hard to bear sometimes.

 

[Disneyland_emily]

Ya hafta do what ya do every day- Get up, face the day and hope tomorrow will be better.

Each year gets a little easier, okay a tiny bit easier to manage but I still havent gotten around to celebrating christmas the old way.

This is the first year I havent lost one of my babies in the previous year and that is a bit easier with the pain of the holidays a lighter but its still rough.

-em

 

[MHopkins2]

Bold is mine...

Originally posted by snoopy
I was barely an adult when I lost both of my parents, who died in their early 50's. The grief is staggering, really, but nothing compared to the other way around, a parent losing their child. I cannot even fathom this type of grief, and I hope and pray I never have to.

I'll pray for your family, Blondie.

I am absolutely APPALLED by this snoopy. How can you cheapen the loss others are experiencing in such a way?? Particularly when it's a loss you've suffered yourself? Were this quote not in a post by someone who had lost her own parents, my claws would be out in full force.

Grrrrrr.

Ahem. Moving on...

I don't pray, but my sympathy and good thoughts go to everyone who has lost a loved one.

 

[snoopy]

Sorry you are appalled. My heart breaks for these people who have lost their child, their grief must be so profound, mor profound than ANY parent should have to know about.

And you might want to think about backing WAY off, mhopkins2 - I never cheapened anyone's loss and you really have no CLUE as to what you are talking about.

 

[MHopkins2]

Originally posted by snoopy
Sorry you are appalled. My heart breaks for these people who have lost their child, their grief must be so profound, mor profound than ANY parent should have to know about.

And you might want to think about backing WAY off, mhopkins2 - I never cheapened anyone's loss and you really have no CLUE as to what you are talking about.

You said that losing a parent was quote/unquote "nothing compared to" losing a child. Whether you meant for that to cheapen, it did and it does. I know exactly what I'm talking about.

 

[HauntedMansionGeek]

I think all Snoopy means is that it's a more natural order of things, IF there's a good way to look at our losses.......

my father not being here for this Christmas is tremendously sad, but it truly is minor compared to the sad Christmases my cousin had after losing her pre-teen son in a car crash a few years ago.

My father had lived a spectacular life and it was his time, PAST time in fact. There is a feeling in life that there is a natural order of things that happen, and I'm sure that's what Snoopy was referring to.



Nice thread Blondie. I think it's important to talk about this stuff even though it hurts sometimes.

 

[snoopy]

NO, MHOPKINS, you have NO CLUE as to what I was saying, so don't make ASSumptions that you do. I personally cannot compare the loss of MY parents, who I worshipped, to that of people who have lost their child. Losing a parent is the natural order, the other way around is NOT. I am simply saying that there is no way I can identify with these poor people who have lost their child so tragically, and I hope I never do.

So you go right ahead and sharpen your claws, because you'll be the only cat fighting.

Blondie, you know how I feel regarding the loss of your beloved nephew, my heart breaks for his family, especially during the holidays. May one day their happy memories of him outweigh their tragic loss.

 

[MHopkins2]

I think all Snoopy means is that it's a more natural order of things, IF there's a good way to look at our losses.......

Even if that was the intention, I still think it's totally appalling and insensitive to post such a thing when other posters have just stated that they've recently lost their parents. Save it for another time, you know?

 

[MHopkins2]

NO, MHOPKINS, you have NO CLUE as to what I was saying, so don't make ASSumptions that you do. I personally cannot compare the loss of MY parents, who I worshipped, to that of people who have lost their child. Losing a parent is the natural order, the other way around is NOT. I am simply saying that there is no way I can identify with these poor people who have lost their child so tragically, and I hope I never do.

I see no reason whatsoever why you can't express such a kind sentiment without trampling on the sincere grief of others. I ASSume you can understand that.

 

[snoopy]

Listen up, mhopkins, you might think I am appalling, but just the mere fact that you are repeatedly using the QUOTE feature and wanting to have a knock down drag out with me on this thread where this woman is mourning the loss of her nephew makes YOU the appalling one. I already told you what my motives were, I cannot identify with these people who have lost their child, even though I too have had profound grief and tragedy in my life, its nothing compared to what they are going through. Now if you want to continue on, please do it via PM. I have never shied away from anyone who has a direct question or comment for me, and I sure am not going to now.

My apologies, Blondie.