> >MOM Job Description
> >
> >
> >POSITION:
> >
> >Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy
> >
> >
> >
> >JOB DESCRIPTION:
> >
> >Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,
often
>
> >chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and
> >organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will
> >include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some
> >overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on
> >rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel
> >expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
> >
> >
> >
> >RESPONSIBILITIES:
> >
> >The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
> >until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also,
> >must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from
> >zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from
> >the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face
> >stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair,
mysteriously
>
> >sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain
> >calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must
> >have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all
ages
>
> >and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an
> >embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing
of
> >a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must
> >always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume
final,
> >complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
> >Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work
> >throughout the facility.
> >
> >
> >
> >POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION:
> >
> >Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
> >without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so
> >that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
> >
> >
> >
> >PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
> >
> >None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually
> >exhausting basis.
> >
> >
> >
> >WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
> >
> >Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon
> >payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college
> >will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give
them
> >whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is
that
>
> >you actually enjoy it and then wish you could only do more.
> >
> >
> >
> >BENEFITS:
> >
> >While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement,
> >no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies
> >limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you
> >play your cards right.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >POSITION:
> >
> >Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy
> >
> >
> >
> >JOB DESCRIPTION:
> >
> >Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,
often
>
> >chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and
> >organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will
> >include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some
> >overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on
> >rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel
> >expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
> >
> >
> >
> >RESPONSIBILITIES:
> >
> >The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
> >until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also,
> >must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from
> >zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from
> >the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face
> >stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair,
mysteriously
>
> >sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain
> >calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must
> >have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all
ages
>
> >and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an
> >embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing
of
> >a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must
> >always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume
final,
> >complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
> >Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work
> >throughout the facility.
> >
> >
> >
> >POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION:
> >
> >Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
> >without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so
> >that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
> >
> >
> >
> >PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
> >
> >None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually
> >exhausting basis.
> >
> >
> >
> >WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
> >
> >Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon
> >payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college
> >will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give
them
> >whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is
that
>
> >you actually enjoy it and then wish you could only do more.
> >
> >
> >
> >BENEFITS:
> >
> >While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement,
> >no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies
> >limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you
> >play your cards right.
> >
> >
> >
