Food related punishment

[cardaway]

I was listening to non-political talk radio this morning (the best kind). The topic was what were you forced to eat as a child. It made me think about not only my childhood (boy was I forced to eat some crappy stuff) but also how some parents use food as a punishment. Not only making kids eat something, but also not allowing them to eat anything else, or wihtholding food from a kid as punishment.

Obviously sending them to bed without dessert is not a bad thing, but without dinner?

And why not just find nutritious things the kids will eat without question rather than forcing other foods down their throat?

 

[DawnCt1]

I think its appropriate to expect a child to take a "no thank you" bite. I was REQUIRED to eat liver when I was a child. I would cut it up in little pieces and hide it under the edge of my plate. It would literally make me gag. It must have been a protective reaction to hate liver because organ meats filter and consentrate every toxin that a cow comes in contact with, so I knew what I was doing, even at the age of five.

 

[cardaway]

Just to be clear, not talking about a bite. I'm talking about making them eat an entire serving.

Even as an ault you should try everything once in awhile to make sure you think it is revolting. I discovered as an adult that I actually liked some vegetables once they were cooked properly.

 

[Marseeya]

That infuriates me!

I had a babysitter who force fed me peas when I was really young. I gag when I so much as look at them now -- and you know peas are in just about everything! Needless to say, she wasn't my sitter for much longer.

 

[Sandy V.]

Just to be clear, not talking about a bite. I'm talking about making them eat an entire serving.

I think that's a cruel and warped punishment for a child. We eat to survive - to associate discipline with it is just plain wrong.

 

[chrissyk]

My dad did this to me ONCE, and to this day we still laugh about it I seriously have no clue why he did it, because I'm a pretty equal-opportunity eater. We had a power struggle over green peas. They are literally one of 2 foods that I don't like in this world. Now he never misses an opportunity to offer me some peas if they are being served at a get-together I think that he still feels bad about the "punishment"

When I'm a parent, I wouldn't force my child to eat a food that they didn't like. However, I would try to get them to take a bite at least...I don't want to raise a kid who will only eat like 3 things either, KWIM?

 

[experiment626mom]

Brussel sprouts!!! I had to sit and eat them just once. It seemed like I sat there for hours (although it was probably no longer than 30 minutes) To this day, I cringe just looking at them.

 

[Pooh67_68]

Never had that problem, if we said we didn't like it we didn't have to try it and if we weren't that hungry we never had to clean our plate.

My stepfather tried once to make us eat everything on the plate and my mother was like no way, we are not forcing them to eat if they don't want to and he never said anything again about eating all our food.

 

[MsDisney23]

When my dd was very young in first grade in a private school, the teacher used to not allow the students to have their snack as a form of punishment! This practice ended that year, as I had a very long conversation with this teacher and the school principal. Food should never in noway ever be used as a punishment or reward! There are to many young children who suffer from eating disorder's, and I am not a professional, but I have wondered if this could be where it is started out for some as young children!

I was very clear that I better never hear of my child being rewarded or punished in this fashion! It ended in that school!

 

[va32h]

This is a hot button issue in my family! I do not force my children to eat, nor bribe them nor cajole them, and do not withold food as punishment, and my parents/Inlaws/siblings often disagree.

My children have very firm likes and dislikes in regards to food. I have likes and dislikes as well. Why should they be forced to eat a food they dislike, when I myself would never purposely eat a food I dislike? While I do think there are many "priveliges" one achieves with adulthood, not having to eat a food you despise shouldn't be one of them.

How does one force a child to eat, anyway? Hold them down and pry open their jaws? Threaten, berate, punish?

I do not take individual orders at dinnertime, but I do make sure that there is something in the meal that everyone will eat. (example: I might serve chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, mixed fruit, rolls. Between my three children, none will have all dishes on their plate, but all will have at least three).

We eat at the table, and the children can put whatever they want on their plate. The only "rule" is that if you put it on your plate, you need to eat at least some of it. It is wasteful not to do so, since your portion can't go back into the bowl to be saved for leftovers. And you also can't say "oh gross" about what anyone else puts on their plate. So I guess there are two rules.

With this method, my children have tried lots of things they have never eaten before. Since we don't make a big deal about what they eat, or how much they eat, they are free to try something new with no pressure.

If they don't finish their entire meal, that's fine, but if they are "too full" to finish dinner, then they are "too full" for anything else, either. So I guess in that sense, we do withold food - in that they can't push aside their dinner plate and get cookies instead. But if they ask for a snack at bedtime, they will get it.

 

[jonestavern]

we had to eat 3 bites of a new food. since my Dad was a career military person, this could get quite 'exotic' . There was never a big scene over it, we just knew the routine & got it over. Mom asked us to clean our plates, but neither did we get huge servings, so it was not onerous.
Once, when I was 4, they insisted I clean the plate at dinner. Sat & sat & sat there until I fell asleep! Mom was no dummy, that's when the small servings, 3 bites only thing began!
food should never be used as punishment, & more importantly, never used as a reward.

Jean

 

[tc]

My father was famous for using food as a reward/punishment all the time. I remember once, we had guests over and one woman kept eating the chocolate stars in the candy dish. When she left, my father thought it was either me or my sisters that ate them all. He went out and bought an entire bag for each of us, and made us eat the whole bag in one sitting. I was so sick after that, and cannot eat chocolate stars to this day. He'd also force us to eat extra helpings at dinner he knew we didn't like. Cooked cabbage was one food I hated, but, whenever it was served, I had twice as much on my plate as my sisters. Mom quit serving cooked cabbage, so I didn't have to eat it like that. He'd also take just one of us out for ice cream if he thought we behaved better than our sisters at some event or something. I remember going to the ship (he was a CPO in the Navy) and eating in the officers quarters. I had bad allergies and sneezed a lot at dinner. Due to that "bad" behaviour, I did not get ice cream on the way home, but everyone else did.

Needless to say, I have no relationship with my father. My parents divorced when I was 10 and she remarried my stepdad. If I talk about my parents, it's my mom and stepdad (whom I call dad) that I refer to.

 

[RickinNYC]

How does one force a child to eat, anyway? Hold them down and pry open their jaws? Threaten, berate, punish?

Uh... YEAH.

I didn't like something as a child, I would indeed be berated to clean my plate. And if I didn't, you can bet my Dad would hold my lower jaw, force it open, and shovel the food in my mouth and clamp it shut to make me swallow.

And we're not talking about vegetables. in fact, I never ever had a problem with most veggies as a kid. Only thing I didn't really like was iceberg lettuce. I thought it was too bitter. But any other kind, I'd eat with no argument. I'd actually eat my vegetables more than anything else.

I actually hated pork chops because of the fat along the edge, couldn't stand chicken on the bone, and steak repulsed me due to the fat. And I wasn't a big fan of cheese of any kind.

But fish and other seafood? No sweat.

Yeah, wierd, I know. I liked all the healthy stuff. But Dad still force fed me and this happened on many, many occasions.

As an adult, not long ago, Dad sat me down during one visit home and he apologized for ever having done that to me as a child. I was pretty taken aback but told him not to worry about it. But he was truly apologetic about his behavior. It was the only abusive thing he ever did because he was otherwise a great father.

 

[lulugirl]

I think that's a cruel and warped punishment for a child. We eat to survive - to associate discipline with it is just plain wrong.

I agree. I can't imagine FORCING a child to eat something, even a bite. I think anyone who does that has serious control issues.

 

[4greatboys]

My dh was raised like that. They had to eat everything they were served. The only things they didnt have to eat were things his dad didnt like. WTH?
My kids do not have to eat things they do not like. We may tell them to take one bite of something they have not had before but no way would I force them to eat it all.
If they dont want to eat dinner fine, but there are no snacks, candies, cookies or whatever.
Many kids learn to eat more of a varity of food as they get older. When I was kid no way would I get close to most veggies like cabbage and now I love it.

 

[Free4Life11]

I always had to eat what was for dinner. What my parents made was what we ate -- they did not cater to our likes our dislikes. We could have input, but in the end if my mom made hotdish, we had hotdish.

We always had to finish our plate or at least most of it. We rarely had dessert, but the idea was that if someone spent time making dinner, we show respect and eat what they made. There were a few nights I spent hours at the dinner table -- in all honestly, I was likely just being dramatic and stubborn.

Suffice it to say, I am the least picky person of anyone I know! I know so many people who have a laundry list of foods they wont eat -- it's ridiculous in my opinion.

 

[cardaway]

How does one force a child to eat, anyway? Hold them down and pry open their jaws? Threaten, berate, punish?

Usually by witholding any other food until the first is gone.

The best part of the radio show was hearing the things that happened when kids got creative in making it look like they finished their meal. One family discovered an entire lifetime of hidden food when they removed the heat registers from the dining area.

 

[skiwee1]

I refuse to have food battles. I will never make my kids eat just one bite if they don't want to. Eventually they will try things on their own. I remember being forced to take even one bit and throwing up everything. It was horrible. I fix at least one thing each meal that I know my kids will eat. It is totally up to them whether they want to try something new or not.

 

[disneygals]

I always had to eat what was for dinner. What my parents made was what we ate -- they did not cater to our likes our dislikes. We could have input, but in the end if my mom made hotdish, we had hotdish.

We always had to finish our plate or at least most of it. We rarely had dessert, but the idea was that if someone spent time making dinner, we show respect and eat what they made. There were a few nights I spent hours at the dinner table -- in all honestly, I was likely just being dramatic and stubborn.

Suffice it to say, I am the least picky person of anyone I know! I know so many people who have a laundry list of foods they wont eat -- it's ridiculous in my opinion.

Well, I was raised the same way (except for the clean plate part) and I am very picky. The rest of my family loved meat and I have never liked it.
I never make my kids eat anything they don't like. I even let them eat something else if dinner is something they like, but are just not in the mood for that night. The funny thing is they started having meat at the neighbors and LOVE it, and it sure is easy to cook.

 

[CathrynRose]

I was listening to non-political talk radio this morning (the best kind). The topic was what were you forced to eat as a child. It made me think about not only my childhood (boy was I forced to eat some crappy stuff) but also how some parents use food as a punishment. Not only making kids eat something, but also not allowing them to eat anything else, or wihtholding food from a kid as punishment.

Obviously sending them to bed without dessert is not a bad thing, but without dinner?

And why not just find nutritious things the kids will eat without question rather than forcing other foods down their throat?

Ive never ever ever ever made my boys eat something they didnt want. I was super picky as a kid, and although My Mom never made me eat anything bad - if I was sent to a few of my relatives houses, they'd pull that cr*p with me....

I dont know if the adults realized, making a kid eating something theyre disgusted by - wont make them like it. I felt like I had a mouthfull of *poop* sometimes.... it was awful!!!