FL Surrogate Wants To Keep Baby AND Get Child Support

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

what a sad story all around, that poor couple.

 

[rabx5]

Child support eh?

Daddy needs to sue her for 100% custody and for child support. i am sure if they hire a PI, they may be able to dig up some "bad" stuff on her.

I think it's all about the $$ and 15 minutes of fame for the surragate

The child will suffer the most

 

[ducklite]

I'm going to reserve judgement on any of the parties involved until more facts come out. I believe this is probably a case of a biological mother not realizing the emotional turmoil she would be faced when having to give up her child. I just don't get how she would be in for the money or why she would plan this? It doesn't sound like she got a whole lot to begin with for this ($1,500). If she wanted a baby, she could have gone to a sperm bank or had a few one night stands to accomplish the deed. If she wanted the money, she would have asked for more up front. Plus the fact that I'm sure she realizes she will now have to pay a heck of a lot more then $1,500 in legal bills so the gold digging doesn't make much sense to me. Having the biological mother change her mind is A LOT more common then people think and honestly, it's her right. Heartbreaking... yes. Illegal... no.

I would have a completely different POV if these were not her eggs, but they are. Both parties should have been better prepared and it's just a shame that the one paying the ultimate price with be the child. Hopefully, they can come to some sort of custody arrangement to allow them all to be involved in her life.

The $1500 was a downpayment, and now she's going for child support--that's totally obscene! While I can understand she cahnged her mind, the child support issue is where she lost any credibility with me.

Anne

 

[kdibattista]

The $1500 was a downpayment, and now she's going for child support--that's totally obscene! While I can understand she cahnged her mind, the child support issue is where she lost any credibility with me.

Anne

Exactly my point... a down payment. It sounds as though she did not get the rest of the money unless I'm missing something. She received $1,500 total. I don't think it's right she is suing for child support but, let's be realistic. Even if she does get child support, it's not like she will be getting a windfall to live off of. She will still have to support that child financially and spent and a ton on legal bills. That to me doesn't equate gold digger. I'm not saying she's right but she is the child's mother until the adoption would have been complete.

Again, this is absolutely heartbreaking and is a no win situation.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Exactly my point... a down payment. It sounds as though she did not get the rest of the money unless I'm missing something. She received $1,500 total. I don't think it's right she is suing for child support but, let's be realistic. Even if she does get child support, it's not like she will be getting a windfall to live off of. She will still have to support that child financially and spent and a ton on legal bills. That to me doesn't equate gold digger. I'm not saying she's right but she is the child's mother until the adoption would have been complete.

Again, this is absolutely heartbreaking and is a no win situation.

ITA


He is the biological father and has a legal obligation to support his child. There is no rule about how the kid came about. I don't want to support the child. There were three people who decided to make a baby and they all should pay for the child. If the baby is adopted by the couple then the biological mother is no longer responsible.

How would one feel if the father decided not to adopt the baby because the baby was not "perfect"? Should he be able to stick the biological mother with all the bills. Nope. He would need to pay too.

The sperm donor will be the father regardless of who is eventually the mother. He made a commitment when he created this beautiful little girl and he needs to honor his commitment that he made to her. Even if the results are not exactly the way he wanted them to be.

ETA: See the child support thread to see how "lucrative" those child support payments are. And how easy it is to be a single mother.

 

[ducklite]

Exactly my point... a down payment. It sounds as though she did not get the rest of the money unless I'm missing something. She received $1,500 total. I don't think it's right she is suing for child support but, let's be realistic. Even if she does get child support, it's not like she will be getting a windfall to live off of. She will still have to support that child financially and spent and a ton on legal bills. That to me doesn't equate gold digger. I'm not saying she's right but she is the child's mother until the adoption would have been complete.

Again, this is absolutely heartbreaking and is a no win situation.

Which she should have thought about before defrauding the couple out of $1500 and keeping the baby. As I see it, right now she's probably facing criminal charges.

Anne

 

[Beth76]

Well surely the couple will end up with partial custody. There doesn't seem to be any reason that they couldn't get at least that. It is his baby after all. Even though it is sad, this couple wasn't very smart about the whole deal. When you're dealing with a child and adoption why wouldn't you have your bases covered. At the very least, who doesn't make sure a contract is signed? And also, isn't there something in the law about a signed/endorsed check being a contract?

 

[chobie]

ITA


He is the biological father and has a legal obligation to support his child. There is no rule about how the kid came about. I don't want to support the child. There were three people who decided to make a baby and they all should pay for the child. If the baby is adopted by the couple then the biological mother is no longer responsible.

How would one feel if the father decided not to adopt the baby because the baby was not "perfect"? Should he be able to stick the biological mother with all the bills. Nope. He would need to pay too.

The sperm donor will be the father regardless of who is eventually the mother. He made a commitment when he created this beautiful little girl and he needs to honor his commitment that he made to her. Even if the results are not exactly the way he wanted them to be.

ETA: See the child support thread to see how "lucrative" those child support payments are. And how easy it is to be a single mother.

Well said. It's sad for everyone involved, but I don't see any inherent moral superiority on the part of the father for wanting to buy a baby he created with another woman.

It's weird the way the sympathy either goes only to the father or to both the parents equally. I think its a hard situation, but they all took their chances.

 

[Beth76]

Which she should have thought about before defrauding the couple out of $1500 and keeping the baby. As I see it, right now she's probably facing criminal charges.

Anne

But doesn't this happen all the time with adoptions. Ok, maybe not all the time, but doesn't it happen? Women are given living expenses, healthcare by couples who want to adopt, then they change their minds. Do they face criminal charges. I would hope they do, but I don't think they actually do.

 

[chobie]

Which she should have thought about before defrauding the couple out of $1500 and keeping the baby. As I see it, right now she's probably facing criminal charges.

Anne

I doubt there is any fraud here? Changing your mind on an adoption does not equal fraud. So she was compensated for the pregnancy, not paid for a service she did not deliver. I doubt she's facing criminal charges. Besides it is illegal in Florida to contract to buy a baby, so I believe this will be handled like any child custody matter and what ever is in the best interests of the child will prevail.

 

[kdibattista]

Which she should have thought about before defrauding the couple out of $1500 and keeping the baby. As I see it, right now she's probably facing criminal charges.

Anne

Actually, according to Florida law, she did not defraud anyone (unless there is a signed agreement):

Now, I'm not saying that the $1500 could not be construed as an intent to hand over the baby but so is the $2500 in birthmother expenses that are legally allowed to be paid to her in Florida without any recourse of the adoptive parents should the adoption fall through, which is exactly what happened. This was a failed adoption.

http://www.theadoptionguide.com/files/StateAdoptionLaws.pdf

Again, I'm not saying this is right and this is one of the reasons we are not comfortable adopting domestically. We will just have to agree to disagree and that certainly does not mean I do not feel for the couple... I really do.

 

[ducklite]

But doesn't this happen all the time with adoptions. Ok, maybe not all the time, but doesn't it happen? Women are given living expenses, healthcare by couples who want to adopt, then they change their minds. Do they face criminal charges. I would hope they do, but I don't think they actually do.

I don't know, but IMHO if a woman is paid anything to carry a baby for a couple then decides to not give the baby up, she should not be able to collect child support and should be required to repay every dime or face fraud charges.

Anne

 

[chobie]

I don't know, but IMHO if a woman is paid anything to carry a baby for a couple then decides to not give the baby up, she should not be able to collect child support and should be required to repay every dime or face fraud charges.

Anne

Thankfully, your opinion is not the law.

 

[ducklite]

Thankfully, your opinion is not the law.

I can understand that she changed her mind, I truly can. But I can't understand that she hasn't returned the $1500 and is looking for child support. That's where I lost respect for her and her cause.

Anne

 

[kdibattista]

Actually, upon further reading, even IF the contract had been signed she could still terminate the contract until the adoption has been completed (7 day revocation period) and most likely, as with other birthparents, keep the $1500:

3) The surrogate acknowledges that she is aware that she will assume parental rights and responsibilities for the child if the intended father and mother terminate the agreement before final transfer of custody is completed, or if a court determines that the intended parent who was to be the biologically-related parent is not the biological parent, or if the court does not approve the Preplanned Adoption Agreement.

4) The intended father, if also the biological father, acknowledges that he is aware that he will assume parental rights and responsibilities for the child if the agreement is terminated for any reason by any party before final transfer of custody is completed or if the Agreement is not approved by the court.

5) The intended parents must both acknowledge that they may not receive custody or parental rights of the child if the surrogate terminates the Agreement or if she rescinds her consent to the stepparent adoption within seven days after the birth of the child.

6) The intended parents may agree to pay all reasonable legal, medical, psychological, or psychiatric, and reasonable living expenses of the Surrogate.

7) The intended parents agree to accept custody of and assert full parental rights and responsibilities of the child immediately upon the child's birth, regardless of any impairments of the child.

8) The intended parents have the right to specify the blood and tissue type test to be performed to determine that at least one of them is the biological parent of the child.

9) The Agreement must state that it can be terminated at any time by any party.

 

[chobie]

I can understand that she changed her mind, I truly can. But I can't understand that she hasn't returned the $1500 and is looking for child support. That's where I lost respect for her and her cause.

Anne

This may be a legal move on her attorney's part --who knows. She may just want to keep her baby and doesn't know how to do that so she is following the legal advice of her attorney. I don't think she should have to return the money, she gave birth to this man's child and he will have some rights, if not full custody in the end. She should be compensated for the birth.

And you seemed to think she planned this fraudulently, didn't you?

 

[Beth76]

I don't know, but IMHO if a woman is paid anything to carry a baby for a couple then decides to not give the baby up, she should not be able to collect child support and should be required to repay every dime or face fraud charges.

Anne

Oh I totally agree, but I just don't think that's the case legally. I can't imagine why there aren't better laws regulating this.

 

[ducklite]

Actually, upon further reading, even IF the contract had been signed she could still terminate the contract until the adoption has been completed and most likely, as with other birthparents, keep the $1500:

That's got to be the best reason I've ever seen to make open adoptions and this type of surrogacy illegal. It's so one-sided that I can't imagine any couple ever going that route.

Anne

 

[Beth76]

Thankfully, your opinion is not the law.

Why thankfully? Do you think it's ok for birth moms to defraud possible adoptive couples?

 

[ducklite]

This may be a legal move on her attorney's part --who knows. She may just want to keep her baby and doesn't know how to do that so she is following the legal advice of her attorney. I don't think she should have to return the money, she gave birth to this man's child and he will have some rights, if not full custody in the end. She should be compensated for the birth.

And you seemed to think she planned this fraudulently, didn't you?

Stranger things have happened. The fact that she never signed the paperwork makes me at least wonder.

Anne